Funny / Eraser

  • This conversation between two mobsters as they get ready to confront Russian bad guys:
    Tony: Commie bastards!
    Mikey: They're not communists anymore, Tony. They're a federation of independent liberated states.
    Tony: Don't make me hurt you, Mikey.
  • Kruger crash lands in a scrapyard after being barely able to open his parachute. A group of kids witness his ordeal:
    Kid: "Oh man, did that hurt? It had to hurt; I saw it!"
    Kruger: "Where is this?"
    Kid's sister: "Earth. Welcome!"