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Funny / Equal Rites

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  • "They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.”
  • Granny Weatherwax's lacking knowledge of how to treat children:
    She was never quite certain about children, thinking of them — when she thought about them at all — as coming somewhere between animals and people. She understood babies. You put milk in one end and kept the other as clean as possible. Adults were even easier, because they did the feeding and cleaning themselves. But in between was a world of experience that she had never really inquired about. As far as she was aware, you just tried to stop them catching anything fatal and hoped that it would all turn out all right.
  • "I think that, on the whole, I would prefer you to move your hands."
  • Granny is walking through the woods with a foul temper and a backache when she encounters a hungry bear. Said bear is amazed to suddenly find itself walking headfirst into a tree and waking up a few hours later.
  • Granny's reply when Cutangle wins several awards for bravery by asking if it would be better to give Simon the staff, because he is a wizard, and-
    'Over my dead body,' said Granny. 'Yours, too.'


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