Funny / Ender's Game

  • Bean delivers the funniest line in the entire film.
    Bernard: They probably cheated [on their test].
    Bean: Your mom cheated; that's why you look like a plumber.
  • Anything Rose the Nose says, specifically:
    Rose the Nose: As far as you're concerned, Dink Meeker is God.
    Ender What does that make you?
    Rose the Nose: The personnel officer that hired God.
  • In Shadow of the Giant, Fly Molo snarks at Bean long after most of the world has learned to take Bean very, very seriously:
    Bean: I'm here because I have a child in Manila. A boy. They tell me his name is Ramon.
    Fly Molo: And yet this is your first time here? Who was the mother, a flight attendant?
    Bean: The baby was stolen from me, Fly. As an embryo. In vitro fertilization. The child is mine and Petra's. It's especially important to us, because it's the first we know of that definitely does not have my condition.
    Fly Molo: You mean it isn't ugly?