Funny: Empowered

  • In one occasion, a guy managed to kidnap Emp... To use her suit. That works only for her. And he's not exactly in good shape. Hilarity Ensues (and Brain Bleach).
  • The villain known as "Rum, Sodomy and the Lash". It started out as a team (or, in Emp's words, "a trio of underinformed anglophile doofuses")... Then Rum was slapped with court-mandated rehab after his fifth DUI charge, Sodomy grew tired of explaining he represented strictly heterosexual sodomy and quit, and Lash decided to take on his former companions' names.
  • D-lister supervillain Killing Time. He has time-related abilities... As in 'throwing clocks at you': he really wanted to be a chronopowered supervillain, but couldn't make a time machine work, so...
    • Emp defeated him with the Elemental Power of Earth and the Power of the Plant Kingdom. As in 'hitting him with a rock' and 'bashing him with a large wooden stick'.
  • Supervillain Chloroformaster (or "The Notorious Chloroformaster"). Specialized in chloroforming superheroes and heroines. As a fetish (that's why they call him "Chloroformasturbator"). Who, in the end, is captured by Emp. You see, he chloroformed her, and was so turned on that he just had to masturbate right then and there. Getting off made him drowsy, so he fell asleep. Emp woke up first. Then there's the time he targeted Major Havoc, who awoke to find the following note on his chest...
    Dear Major Havoc:
    Thought I'd try chloroforming a guy for once, but it just felt really gay. Sorry.
    Yours truly,
    The Notorious C.F.M.
    P.S. Please don't tell anyone about this.
  • The guys of Advanced Restraint Research. At first they and their pirate costumes torment Emp to shoot some advertising videos... Then she points out she's notoriously easy to capture and that sex doesn't sell with supervillains (aside the fact 13% of them are women, it runs against the Unwritten Rules), and convince them to try with the Superhomeys. Hilarity Ensues, both due their many failures... And the one success: Sistah Spooky.
    • By volume 9, they've improved their products... And sell 60% of their stuff to superheroes.
  • Along with Crowning Moment of Awesome for Major Havok in Vol. 3. After Empowered listened to Major Havok, dWARf and Protean comparing (rudely) the super heroines' and supervillainesses' booty, Empowered got her revenge by supplying the entire base with Doujinshi about them. Gay Doujinshi. They were of course outraged and embarrassed. At first. It was when Havok realized it was done by female artists for women that...
    Major Havok: You know, this is actually flattering.
    Empowered: "What?"
    Major Havok: I mean clearly, me, dWARf and Glorpp here... we're a bunch of seriously compelling and intriguing ass HUNKS OF MANHOOD for these ladies aren' we?... Hey if you don't have plenty of HOT FEMALE ARTISTS fantasizing you INTO GAY SCENARIOS... I say you ain't shit son.
    Empowered: "Don't fucking believe this."
    Major Havok: Cute Asian cartoonist, I'm happy to be your Fantasy object.
    • And earlier, when she finds an Emp/Spooky fic.
  • The whole of ThugBoy's little 'Ode to Joyful Booty'
  • "Elephants, Cups and Canoes" in Vol. 4, which pushes unusual euphemisms to new, visual heights. *trumpeting* "He's gone rogue!" "Aieee! Me canoe be swampin'!". And said canoe is named "Va J J".
  • The doctor's nametag from the same volume (a Mystery Science Theater 3000 reference).
  • The bit where ThugBoy talks about working for a Nazi supervillain. "Yeah, sure I'm half-Japanese, but I'm also one-quarter Italian and one-quarter German! I'm All Axis Power, baby!" When the villain fired him, ThugBoy stole his Porn Stash.
    Captain Rivet: You cruel bastard!
  • Then there's a 17-page sex scene... with narration and dialogue supplied by the Caged Demonwolf.
  • When Major Havoc tries to write a fanfiction about himself, only for everyone to say it sucks... because he obviously doesn't know Major Havoc very well.
    • Made all the funnier when you realize one of the reviewers is Emp.
    • And the only reason why nobody liked it was because it wasn't a Slash Fic.
  • When Trolls edit Capitan Rivet's Wikipedia page.
    Capitan Rivet: How the hell could I have been involved in the Kennedy Assassination!? I wasn't even born yet when that happened, damn it!
  • The Superhomie cosplayers' Lotus-Eater Machine fantasies under the influence of Anglerfish's light... except for Emp's fantasy.
    • Capitan Rivet cosplayer: Meeting Jesus and finding he's white, blond, etc.
    • Major Havok cosplayer: George Lucas removing the elements of Star Wars that the fans hate, like the Ewoks, midiclorians, the Prequel Trilogy, etc.
    • dWARf! cosplayer: Scarlett Johansson, Gisele Bundchen, and possibly other lovely ladies giving him a blowjob.
    • Sistah Spooky cosplayer: Meeting Al Gore, who is President.
  • Ninjette's introduction: She captures Emp, ties her up, and calls for some thugs to pick them up. The thugs never show despite Ninjette's repeated calls until she finally says "Fuck it," unties her and goes out drinking. Bada bing bada boom, Heel-Face Turn.
  • Practically everything that comes out of Caged Demonwolf's mouth.
  • The Willy Pete Yaoi doujinshi. Also, the "I'll fuck a robot" remix song.
  • Daisycutter revealing how much she used mind control as an excuse for cheating on her boyfriend when she was alive.
    Daisycutter *on the cellphone*: "Oh, honeybunny, l'il ol' Daisy only hooked up with Horsepower 'cause skeevy ol' Psychoblast was mind controlling the both of 'em! Uh huh!"
    Daisycutter *on the cellphone*: "Oh, honeybunny, l'il ol' Daisy only hooked up with Slamma Lamma 'cause pervy ol' Suggestion Boxer was mind controlling the both of 'em! Uh huh!"
    Daisycutter *on the cellphone*: "Oh, honeybunny, l'il ol' Daisy only hooked up with Horsepower and Slamma Lamma again 'cause that creepy ol' Browbeater was mind controlling all three of 'em at once...! Not buying it this time, are you?"
  • The Caged Demonwolf singing "Baby Got Back." Also doubles as a CMOA for such an impressively long rhyme-scheme:
    Verily, the Caged Demonwolf does delight in toothsome rumps of appreciable volume! Prevaricate he surely cannot!
    Hark! You other figurative male siblings are utterly incapable of any form of denial, oh doltish dullards!
    For, when a winsome wench does perambulate forth before you besporting not merely a midriff of exceedingly miniscule dimensions, but also flaunting an entity Callipygian of overwhelmingly orbiculate character before your very face, then soon bekindled unto your loins is a raging inferno of direst arousal!
    For, luckiest of mortals, you have borne awestruck witness to the incontrovertible fact that the well-upholstered rump in question was bounteously plethoric and chockiblockily surifeted! (Or in words other, stuffed.)
    The blazing-eyed devilgoat finds himself ensnared within the denimy depths of wenchly tight-clinging pantaloons!
    Indeed, he cannot surcease himself from gazing unto- (Etcetera, etcetera).
  • The intermission break just before the big finale of Vol. 3, where Empowered uses her "meta-awareness" to highlight her artist's previous track record of gruesomely killing off huge swaths of characters... and freaking out that she's working for a sadistic prick who's gonna kill her off any second.
  • Doubles as a CMOA: Ninjette once consummated another ninja's marriage disguised as the groom. Other ninja are still trying to figure this out...
  • While the situation itself is very serious, Spooky's "what the hell" expression when she first sees Emp's suit's wings is hilarious. Her eyes are bugging out and her mouth is just hanging slightly open. It's great.
    • Similarly, after a last-second rescue from dismemberment, Ninjette took in Emp's floating, winged, & sparkling suit (along with the path of destruction her energy bolt left); and only had one response:
    (still gagged) "Wh... whh thh fhhk...?
  • How does Emp deal with a parasitic infestation in a babyship without killing the mother parasite nor causing the babyship's mother to annihilate the whole West Coast? Easy: move the mother parasite in the structurally infected floor.
    "May the Darwiniest biohazard win, right?"
  • Volume 9 may be one of the darkest issues of the series to date, but has a few moments too:
    • One you don't notice the first time you read the volume: during the initial report on Emp's activities as a superhero, supervillain Free Floating Fury thanks her for her discreption as a captive, as he once got blackout drunk in her presence and started talking shit about everyone but Emp didn't screw him by telling everyone whatever he was babbling about... Except he told her the command phrase to activate his capeteam-killing drone, and it's one of the many pieces of intel she entered in the Superhomeys' villain database, and the wider superhero community's by extension.
    • While under testifying to the superheroes' executive council about her various troubles, Emp couldn't help but mock the fake accent of Country Strong.
    • Emp's way to kill time while waiting for the council's decision.
    • The superheroes' executive council buys restraintware from Advanced Restraint Research. Apparently, superhero customers represent 60% of their total sales...
    • The poor supervillains' spooked reactions when Emp uses all the information her past captors spilled in her presence to kick their asses. Especially the Flat "What." from the Brawn-E Boyz and a sentient missile when Emp orders the latter to self-destruct, plus the sheer coincidence that Cephalopunk's superstitious teammates leave their new lair after Emp convinces them it's haunted... And thus narrowly avoid Deathmonger.