Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?
"We stole countries; that's how you build an empire. We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" And they're going "You can't claim us, we LIVE here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a FLAG?"
His imitation of the British fighting World War II before the Americans came along. Like so:
Get the tanks out, get the — we haven't got any tanks, then get that ice cream van out there. Get that out there... [points] Kill! Oh, fuck it — [mimes making and throwing ice cream cones] ...fuck off... everything! Just throw everything at them! Just... that's not... harder! Orange fruities — Zooms! Throw the Zooms! Fuck off, you bastards... pots and pans, get pots — just throw the pots and pans at them!
His bit on Wikipedia, from his Stripped tour. "Run by Mr. and Mrs. Wikipedia... who live in a toilet somewhere, I think, they have no money..."
The bit on "Definite Article", recorded live at the Shaftesbury Theater, where he goes off on a tangent about the TV show "Highlander" — more specifically, when he interacted with an audience member while struggling to remember the name of the show, and said audience member yelled out "Izzog Man" as the probable name of the show.
The other bit off "Definite Article" about shopping at supermarkets, from the benefits of hand baskets vs. trolleys to what 85-year-old women typically get there.
"The First Battalion Transvestite Brigade! Airborne wing!"
At British Comedy Awards 2013, he came to the stage to read the nominations for Best TV Comedy Actor. Before reading the nominations, he starts talking about how the winner is the funniest person in the world and literally a god, and than says that he doesn't know who the winner is, and that he hopes that the winner is actually good, because otherwise Eddie will look stupid.