Funny / E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

  • Elliott's "It was nothing like that, penis breath!"
    • The fact that Elliott's mom laughs as she tries to reprimand him.
  • Elliott's reaction to seeing E.T. dressed up.
    • "You should give him his dignity. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen."
  • When E.T. falls into the bath tub... He doesn't drown, of course.
  • E.T. laughing at the Tom and Jerry cartoon on the TV and throwing a beer can at it.
  • The botched frog dissection scene is full of these.
    • When Elliott first releases his frog, "Run for your life! Back to the river, back to the forest! Run! I gotta save you!"
    • The fact that none of the other students are trying to help or hinder, they just sit at their lab tables chanting "back to the river, back to the forest!".
    • When he tries to free the "big kids" frog, and the boy naturally resists.
    • One pigtailed girl just standing there holding a frog in each hand while chaos erupts around her.
    • The two boys scaring the one girl by placing their frogs on her feet.
    • Elliott's reenactment of the John Wayne movie E.T. is watching.
    • Two words: Drunk E.T.
  • Big brother Michael needs to get his priorities straight.
    Michael: We're all gonna die and they're never gonna give me my license!
  • The whole "Most Excellent Promise" scene.
    Elliott: Come on, Michael, he came back.
    Michael: (feigning shock) He came back? He came back? (pretends to be attacked) Oh, my God!
    Elliott: One thing. I have absolute power. Say it. Say it!
    Michael: What have you got? Is it the coyote?
    Elliott: No. Look. O.K. Now, swear it. The most excellent promise you can make. Swear as my only brother on our lives!
    Michael: Don't get so heavy. I swear.
    Elliott: Okay, stand over there. And you'd better take off your shoulder pads.
    Michael: WHAT?!
    Elliott: You might scare him. And close your eyes.
    Michael: Don't push it, Elliott.
    Elliott: I'm not coming out until your eyes are closed.
    Michael: Okay, they're closed. Mom is going to kill you. Eeeeghh!
    Elliott: Okay, swear it one more time. I have—
    Michael: (Interrupts, impersonating Yoda) You have absolute power, yes! Eeheeheehee!
  • When poor drunk E.T. gets hit with the refrigerator door.
    Gertie: Here he is!
    Mary: Here's who?
    Gertie: The man from the moon, but I think you've killed him already.
    • Gertie is like a walking funny moment. Everywhere she goes something hilarious happens.
  • Elliot tries to keep E.T. concealed after his revival:
    E.T.: ET phone home! ET phone home! ET phone home!
    Elliot: (whispering) Will you shut up!
  • It's Halloween and E.T. sees a kid dressed as Yoda... and recognizes him.
    (waddling after the kid) Home! Home!
  • Gertie being scared of E.T. the first time she sees him, with E.T. being equally scared of her.
    • When Michael and Gertie go to hide in the closet, she screams at E.T. again, but Michael quickly covers her mouth. E.T. follows into the closet, screaming with his arms raised above his head.
  • ET trying to fix the costume knife in Michael's head, then being knocked over by the camera flash.
  • ET crashing the bike after Elliott hopes he won't.
  • It's really subtle and hard to hear, but when Elliott is grabbing his jar with the frog in it, you can hear a kid say "Let's put some chloroform on the teacher."
  • Gertie's reaction when Elliot claims only kids can see E.T.:
    Gertie: Give me a break!
  • When Elliot tells Michael that E.T. is alive again, he gets so overwhelmed with joy that he jumps up and accidentally hits his head on the ceiling.
  • Elliot belching after E.T. chugs a can of Coors.
  • After the boys steal the van, Mary tries to follow in her car with Gertie. Keys stops them, asking where they're going.
    Gertie: (as Mary shoves her into the passenger seat) We're going to the spaceship! We're-we're going to the spaceship!
  • The Uranus Is Showing scene.
    Boy: "Where's he from? Uranus? Get it? Your anus?"
    Other Boy: "He doesn't get it."
    First Boy: "Your anus?"
    Second Boy: "He doesn't get it"
    Elliot: "You have zero charisma!"
    First Boy: "And you're such an absoluta simia!"