- "It was the smelly ledge monster!"
- "Don't you wave your hairy bottom at me!"
- Lord Rutledge's conversation with Grant:
Rutledge: I beg your pardon. Are you the manager?
Grant: Yes, I am. Robert Grant. (offers handshake)
Rutledge: Lord Rutledge. Tell me... where do you keep the champagne? Near the furnace?
Grant: Is there a problem, Lord Rutledge?
Rutledge: No. It's just that your room service brought me a bottle of champagne that I could have quite comfortably bathed in, had there been any soap.
Grant: Well, I'm terribly sorry.
Rutledge: Yes. You should be. (walks away)
- When Kyle spots Dunston and can't sleep, Robert doesn't believe him, so he tells him to watch an old black and white movie: "You'll be out in no time." Said movie happens to be King Kong (1933), freaking out Kyle.
- Robert Grant has a meeting with two old lady clients, and suddenly he spots Dunston in the greenhouse behind them. He shouts, "HOLY SHIT!" Then, when he goes searching the greenhouse, Dunston jumps on Robert, who emits a scream. But the two old ladies (who are patiently waiting for him to come back) don't hear it from behind the sound-proof window. Also funny is how Robert, after a tussle with Dunston, comes back into the meeting looking disheveled, is about to speak, but gets a call from security, and, without saying a word, leaves again.
- During the scene when Kyle, Brian, and Dunston are having fun in a hotel room, Dunston throws a Frisbee out the window; it flies into Lionel Spalding's room, hitting his tea set. The way Spalding reacts is hilarious.
- At the Crystal Ball, Buck is approached by a waiter:
Buck: Is it free?
(Buck grabs one glass, pauses, then grabs a second glass)
- When Buck is searching the party for Dunston, he emerges from underneath a table:
Man: Can I help you?
Buck: I'm looking for a "pongo pygmaeus."
Man: If I catch you looking at my wife's pongo pygmaeus once more, I'm gonna break you in half.
- Lionel Spalding freaks out over having Dunston in his lap:
Lionel: MONKEY HEAD! MONKEY HEAD!
(Buck slaps him)
Lionel: Why is everyone in this hotel always slapping me?!
(Buck slaps him again)
- When Grant finally stands up to Mrs. Dubrow:
Grant: Have you tried the cake? (hits her in the face with a piece)
Dubrow: You're... fired. Go home, and burn your resume, because you'll never work in the hotel business again! (Grant walks away) Don't you walk away from me! I'm still firing you! (throws a piece of cake, but it hits Lionel Spalding in the face instead)
Lionel Spalding: Mrs. Dubrow, I'm Lionel Spalding, from the "Le Monde" Travel Organization. Congratulations. You've managed to go from a five-star hotel... to a one-star hotel. Good night. (faints on her)
- After the climax, Buck apologizes to Dunston for trying to shoot him. Dunston retaliates by punching Buck in the face. Buck: "I deserved that."