Funny / Dragonheart

Dragonheart (original film)

  • Near the beginning of the film, we have have this little gem of an exchange:
    Einon: The peasants are revolting!
    Brok: They've always been revolting, prince. Now they're rebellin'.
  • The scene where Brother Gilbert sits on Draco, who has disguised himself as a white boulder. Gilbert is attempting to write a song about Bowen, and taps his quill on Draco's head to sharpen the point. The "boulder" opens one eye in surprise and annoyance, creating a bit of visual hilarity.
  • And when the villagers decide to sacrifice Kara (who is a rebellious troublemaker) to Draco in order to get him to leave. The following exchange happens between Bowen and Draco.
    Draco: Who's the girl?
    Bowen: A nuisance, get rid of her!
    Draco: Why?
    Bowen: They're trying to placate you with a sacrifice!
    Draco: Oh, and who ever gave them that bright idea?
    Bowen: Just get rid of her!
    Draco: How?
    Bowen: her!
    Draco: Oh please, yuck!
    Bowen: Are we squeamish? You ate Sir Eglemoor, hypocrite!
    Draco: I merely chewed in self-defense! But I never swallowed.
    • Especially as that's likely a dragon's version of "I didn't inhale".
    • Later on when Bowen comes to check up on them, Draco admits to being... distracted.
    • Distracted is an understatement; Draco is charming the hell out of Kara. Which takes on a bit of meta-hilarity when you remember Sean Connery's turn as James Bond, ladies' man extraordinaire.
  • Draco diving out of the lake after being "killed" by Bowen and seeing a herd of sheep: "Well... hello." Dinner ensues.
  • The third attempt at fake dragon slaying, with Kara trying to reason to the villagers they're frauds and Brother Gilbert suddenly coming to Bowen's rescue of his daring fighting prowess (who has no idea of their bargain after their standstill).
    Kara: Don't you see? He's in league with the dragon!
    (everyone stares at her, before bursting into full blown laughter)
    • Then there was the actual crossbow attempt, which goes well... until Draco hits shallow water head first.
      Bowen: *whispers* Come on sink! SINK!
      Draco: *whispers* I can't, it doesn't get any deeper.
      • And the amused look on Kara's face upon seeing this.
      • And the piece of resistance: all the villagers chasing the dragon for 'meat', prompting him to fly away for his life (and in turn blowing the ruse)
      • And while the Power Trio are attempting to escape, Bowen swinging Brother Gilbert up onto his horse causes BG to accidentally cop a feel on Kara.
      • There's a very quick bit when he's running across the shallow water, and suddenly stumbles and falls into a dip in the lake bed. The snarl he lets out seems to be about half, "Dammit, I fell!" and half "Oh, sure, here it's deep!"
      • It gets even better: After Draco flies off, the villagers turn and start advancing on Bowen and company, while still chanting the word "meat."
      • You can't forget Brother Gilbert's congratulations!
        Brother Gilbert: What a brute! Why, he's even bigger than the last one!
        Bowen: Actually, he's about the same size...
  • Draco and Bowen's Mexican Standoff.
  • Brother Gilbert suddenly coming up with a good verse. "Wait, that was good...what did I just say?"
  • At one point, Bowen is having a hard time lighting a cooking fire, and Draco offers to help. Never mind that the result is like taking a flamethrower to a tissue - "I hope you like it well done..." - but the way Draco lights it is good for a laugh; with almost a bored expression on his face, Draco pinches one nostril shut and exhales out the other, as if he's blowing his nose.
  • When Draco rescues Bowen, Kara, and Brother Gilbert from the cannibalistic villagers, we are then treated to several fantastic shots of Draco flying through the evening sky. And what do we hear?
  • During the scene where Bowen is training the villagers to fight against Einan's army, he teaches Brother Gilbert how to shoot a bow and arrow. Brother Gilbert manages to shoot the dummy right in the head on the first try. Hewe simply chalks it up as Beginner's Luck, and tells him to try again. He does, and where does the arrow hit the dummy this time? Right in the crotch.
    Bowen: Brother Gilbert... You're a natural!

Dragonheart: A New Beginning

  • There's a scene where Lian is fighting a bunch of soldiers. She knocks one guy's sword out of his hands, and it flies straight as an arrow and sinks into a post next to Geoff. A few moments later, a second sword flies at the pole and sticks into it as well, next to the first. And if that isn't enough, one of the soldiers has a decorative point on the top of his helmet, and ends up getting thrown headfirst at the pole and getting stuck in it as well.

Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer's Curse

  • In the forest, Gareth introduces himself to Drago and describes the Picts, only for an unamused Drago to say his first words.
    Gareth: Me, Gareth. Me, strong. Good. Good human. Uh...The others, savages. Bad. Really awful, evil, smelly...
    Drago: I shared my heart with the village idiot.
    • When Lorne speaks to Drago in the same manner:
    Lorne: Me, human. You, dragon.
    Drago: Been through that, thank you.
  • Drago and Gareth hurting themselves in order to hurt the other. Ending on an especially funny note when Gareth punches himself in the groin, only for Drago to be unaffected by it.

Dragonheart: Battle for the Heartfire

  • Edric tries to figure out how Mehgan stole Drago's heartfire:
    Edric: So, just to be clear, she just walked right up to you and took your fire? ...I mean, do you even count as a dragon anymore? You're more like a worm. Like a leggy worm.
  • Mehgan is given a tour of the castle with some nice dramatic shots, and then she is shown the royal bedchamber... and discovers it completely trashed, with a clucking chicken sitting on the table. Her only comment is "Boys."