- "Lend me your eyes! Lend me your ears! Lend me your hea— seriously, Sally, put that down."
- Artix's misunderstanding of a Yet Another Christmas Carol plot. You and Chilly speak to the ghosts of Frostval Past, Present, and Future (whose character models are from MechQuest, DragonFable and AdventureQuest, respectively). Just before Present reveals what MacGuffin you need to retrieve, Artix jumps in, completely out of nowhere, exorcises them all, says there's no need to thank him, and runs off.
Your character: Not in that order, but yes.
- Artix during the Gate Keeper quest cutscene (the one where you're trying to get into the Necromantic University with Zorbak's student ID): "Must... resist... urge... to... vanquish... evil!"
- Even better: The plan to get in almost works. The Gatekeeper just blindly accepts the idea that you're Zorbak and Artix is your minion because of, you know... magic. That's the only explanation you give, and, if his unfazed reaction to it is anything to go by, no elaboration is neccessary.
- "You've earned the title Princess Slayer!"
- "The Clashening" gives us "Eucalyptus!"
- When the Mysterious Stranger eats the sun, Lim and Cysero have this little exchange:
Cysero: Look! It's an eclipse!
Lim: I don't think that's how it works—
Cysero: Shut up.
- Cysero has a billion other hilarious lines and easter eggs.
- Artix's toilet paper advert in "Falconreach Idle".
- Artix's list of undead puns.
- Galanoth's reaction when The Hero tells him that s/he is a DragonLord.
Your character: Well, I suppose this is the best time to tell you. Galanoth... I am a dragonlord!
Galanoth: WHAT?! YOU?! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!
- In Thankstaking 2009, when Oishii invites everyone to the Welcomegiving Feast, including Dr. Voltabolt.
Dr. Voltabolt: Oh! I am zo happy I could keezz zomeone!
Valencia: Don't even think about it.
Dr. Voltabolt: Am ztill happy.
- Cysero attempting to eat the Elemental Bacon Orbs because he skipped breakfast.
- "The Worst Prank Ever", if you're a soulless jerk.
- Four words: San Robin and Roblos.
The Hero: OK, I give. Why does your costume have cheese on it?
San Robin: I don't understand the question.
The Hero: You're dressed like Cheese Man or something. Why would you do that?
See? I told you it was weird.
Roblos: CHEESE IS NOT A FRUIT!
San Robin: HEY, MISTER! DON'T YOU GO INSULTING CHEESE LIKE THAT!
- The player's character on the dining habits of one particular antagonist. The fact that they say it to another antagonist they're trying to get information from, who agrees that this is just terrible makes it even funnier.
"She tried to eat me, and she didn't even have the decency to use ketchup!"
- Lets just say that your attempts to hatch your dragon's egg doesn't really go anywhere..........Except for giving more or less the exact same method of "Hatching" things When you're stuck in a block of ice.
- In Book 3, Dragon Hatches YOU.
- In Book 3 Ravenloss, while exploring the town there's a Clawkin Wanderer called Yu Noho. The following exchange occurs with the Hero.
Yu Nohu: Hello!
The Hero: Erm...hi.
Yu Nohu: I'm Yu!
The Hero: 'Scuse me?
Yu Nohu: I'm Yu!
The Hero: You're me?
Yu Nohu: No, I'm Yu! Yu Nohu!
The Hero: I'm sorry, but I don't.
Yu Nohu: Don't what?
The Hero: I don't know who you are.
Yu Nohu: I'm Yu!
The Hero: This... isn't going anywhere.
Yu Nohu:' I'm Yu Nohu!!!
* Tomix luring the player to a catapult and launching them both towards Atrea under the siege of Rose in Chapter 3.
The Hero: But you saaaaiiiidddd...
- The Hero's revenge in the next quest. He/She makes Tomix carry the loot, a sack of Trithril so big, it's actually bigger than Tomix himself. Their grin just sells it.
- Player saving undead from Artix, not the other way around.
- Drakath trying to catch Flying eye (a monstrous winged eye) with camera-like spying device attached. Considering that Drakath is a Minion with an F in Evil for most of the Book 1, Hilarity Ensues.
- "Impersonator" quest is about a man, who mixed all classes without knowing how to use any of them and glued wings on tog's back claiming to be the Hero with his dragon. Seeing him announce himself is funny in itself, but it can get outrightly ridiculous if the player character is female.
- During one of quests for Verlyrus in Book 3 Amityvale, called "Fishin Impossible", the Hero tries to catch a talking fish. The Hero changes into his/her angler armor using the phrase "Angler Hero, ACTIVATE!!!" and does a weird dance. However the fish swims away, before one fish randomly falls from the sky. A giant fish who happens to be the Fish Lord then appears, explaining the Hero summoned him using the "righteous ritual of summoning" and explains the fish is a token of gratitude, before dozens of fish then drop from the sky.
- After the quest finishes, the game goes and trolls the player with the text box: "Well, that happened. And now you have to re-equip everything again!"
- Bloodwork: Okay, so, the previous main entry in the Book 3 Blood and Roses storyline saw a werewolf-bitten Raven and The Hero returning to Amityvale empty-handed and completely unaware that the last place they checked for signs of Thursday is where she's been the whole time. They have no real leads on where she is, and finding her and making sure she's okay is important partly because her blood is the key to a cure for lycanthropy. So, what happens next? Why, a "Fantastic Voyage" Plot involving penguin shrink-ray technology, of course!
- The Hero finally gets around to tracking down M.O.P. and curing them of their cat transformations (the Mogloween this happened was 3 years ago for reference, not including the Time Skip). When the Hero asks why they didn't head to Croft the year after their transformation and get cured earlier, they apparently got lost and couldn't find Croft. The Hero then angrily points out they could have gone to Falconreach and asked the Hero to bring them.
- "Ready the table!"