Funny: Dragon Ball Z Abridged

aka: Dragon Ball Abridged
Funny moments from DBZ Abridged. WARNING: You might be here a while.

Moments from Two Saiyans Play can be found here.

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    DBZ Abridged - Episodes - Other 
  • This is the best song ever.
  • Nappa's year-long Are We There Yet?, which at first seems to come to a rather anticlimactic end ("Yay!") only to be brought back in a wonderfully unexpected way: "Is he here yet?"
  • They turned Recoome into The Rock.
  • And then there's this:
    Gohan: I swear, I don't even know what's going on anymore.
  • Guru has two words for everyone.
    Guru: Drop it!
  • Kaiser Neko's ENTIRE angry snippets in the Movie Breakdown: Cooler 2, pointing out absolutely every logical fallacy in the movie. Oh it was glorious.
    Kaiser Neko: F*ck this movie.
  • In their trailer for Dragonball Z Battle Of Gods, they pose the question of whether or not they will abridge it. No. No they won't. After citing the many characters that the abridged series hasn't gotten anywhere near (the entire Buu saga), they add that Toei would probably kill them.
    • However, maybe they can do the Hatchiyack special.

    DBZ Abridged - Movies 
Bardock - Father of Goku Abridged
  • Bardock is only slightly better a parent than Goku:
    Bardock: Hey there, Kakarrot. It's your daddy! Let's see what kind of power level we've got here... Alright, whoa ho ho ho! Ten-thousand! That's my boy! *sees name plaque* ...Wait, Broly...?
    • Even better is the set-up to that. Bardock at first doesn't give a damn when the doctor asks if he wants to see Goku, noting that he never paid attention to Raditz when he was growing up. The doctor answers, "And we all know how he turned out," followed by a Gilligan Cut to the above line.
  • Another from the Bardock special:
    Gohan: Someone threw out a perfectly good baby! I think I'll name you... Clark.
  • Bardock witnessing the future of his son Goku... in a scene from Dragon Ball GT. "...And now I welcome the sweet embrace of death."
    • "Well, I'd say I should've seen this coming, but that would be ironic."
  • The Running Gag of Bardock's psychic powers kicking in at the wrong time.
    Bardock: [fighting Dodoria's henchmen, thinking] I can't believe [my team] lost to these guys! What a bunch of- OH SWEET CRAP NOT AGAIN!
    Goku: Kaio Ken!
    Bardock: (Back in his own time) Kaio what? (Punched in the face by something completely different)
    • Mr. Popo's cameo as Bardock first gets his ability to see the future.
    • This exchange
    Dodoria: I think that Bardock's a pretty cool guy.
    Zarbon: He conquers planets and doesn't afraid of anything.
    Freeza: Doesn't afraid of anything indeed.
  • The whole exchange between Nappa and young Prince Vegeta.
    Nappa: Vegeta!
    Vegeta: What is it, Nappa?
    Nappa: Well, I've got good news... aaaaand bad news. The bad news is... *rushed* reports say our entire planet has been destroyed by a gigantic meteorite along with all its inhabitants.
    Vegeta: Ah- But- What about-?!
    Nappa: Aaand your father.
    Vegeta: My. Whole. Family. My race!
    Nappa: But the good news is we're going to Dairy Queen!
    Vegeta: My entire race is gone!
    Vegeta: ...Just take me to the damn queen, Nappa.
    Nappa: Yaaay! This seems like the beginning of a bee-yootiful friendship.
  • The special addresses something that was overlooked in the original. As Bardock declares their independence from Freeza, hundreds of Freeza's men are behind him. In this version, they have the presence of mind to object to his all-inclusive terminology.
    "This man does not speak for us. [...] Seriously, we're not with him."
  • A cameo after Planet Vegeta is destroyed.
    Sauza: Monsieur Cooler! It seems that your brother is destroying the planet Vegeta!
    Cooler: Very impressive, killing off a bunch of monkeys. Any liquored-up hillbilly with a shotgun could've done that at the zoo.
    Sauza: [sees Goku's pod] Wait, sir! It seems he has missed one ship! We are in range to intercept-
    Cooler: No. Let it go.
    Sauza: But, why?
    Cooler: Because, I'm a prick.
  • When Bardock's fighting the last two of the group that killed his teammates, he pulls off some Deadly Dodging to get one to bury his fist in the other, prompting the injured one to call the other a "Team killing fucktard!"
  • When Bardock is fighting his way to get to Freeza and he's gang piled by a couple of mooks, one of them actually shouts out during Bardock's shouting "Hey yo Bardock, I'm really happy for you and Imma let you finish but-" before he and the others are killed.

Christmas Tree of Might
  • The entirety of "Christmas Tree of Might". Especially the end.
    Vegeta: This is so non-canon, it hurts.
    Ghost Nappa: Vegeeeeeeta! Tonight, you will be haunted by three ghoooooosts! (Appears) And they're all me. (Soon, two more Ghost Nappas show up.)
    Ghost Nappas (simultaneous): Hi!
    Vegeta: Goddamnit, I hate Christmas.
    • The "mouth present" thing.
      Goku: Well, what am I getting for Christmas?
      Chi-Chi: The same thing as last year, Goku.
      Goku: Oh, so that thing you do with your mouth...
      • And later...
        (Gohan is transformed into a Great Ape)
        Goku: Oh, man! If Chi-Chi finds out about this, I might not get mouth present.
  • The wish Krillin makes which causes the events of the special. Thank you, Krillin and thank you Shenron.
  • Shenron's jackassness is hilarious.
    Shenron: No! No way! No, not you again! HAS IT EVEN BEEN A YEAR?!
    Oolong: It's been one year, 2 months and 50...
    Shenron: SHUT THE HELL UP!
  • Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell ROCK THE DRAGON, DRAGON BALL Z!
  • This:
    Piccolo: Bitch, you look like Goku.
    Turles: And you look like a Yoshi.
    Piccolo: I get that. Now hand over the kid [Gohan].
    Turles: You want this kid?
    Piccolo: I want him!
    Turles: You want this kid?
    Piccolo: I want him!!
    Turles: You want this kid?
    Piccolo: I want him!!
    Turles: You want-you want?
    Piccolo: I WANT THAT KID!!
  • Goku singing while Chi-Chi is lecturing Gohan.
    Chi-Chi: Goku, stop that or I'll deck you in the halls!
  • This particularly dark exchange.
    Krillin: "What'd you do?"
    Daiz: "Something so evil, that I am forever on Santa's naughty list!"
    Yamcha: "Geez! Compared to these guys, what could you have possibly-"
    Dramatic slow zoom into Daiz's eyes as evil laughter and the pained cries of a reindeer are heard
    Tien: "Dibs on not fighting that guy."
  • "Did I just smash the Krampus?"
  • "FalalalalalalalaDIE."
  • "YOU NEVER WASTE FIGGY PUDDING!" *beatdown ensues*
  • Goku's attempt to reason with the tree.
    Goku: Big tree, if you don't leave right now, I'm going to beat you up.
    Yamcha: Goku, trees can't talk.
    Amond: (Offscreen) Why don't you come up here and try it.
    Yamcha: Ya know what, f*** it, I don't care anymore.
  • Yamcha's "fight" with Cacao:
    Cacao: Singing: Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit.
    Song: But do you recall, the most useless fighter of all...
    Yamcha: Go to hell! *throws a Spirit Ball, which misses*
    Yamcha: *trying to redirect the Spirit Ball, and still missing* Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn. You.
    Song: Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit, always beaten by his foes...
    Cacao: Do you require assistance?
    Yamcha: *still trying to redirect the Spirit Ball* Shut. Up. You. *the Spirit Ball finally hits* YES! TAKE THAT MOTHERFU- *Cacao knocks Yamcha to the ground*
    Song: ...and if you saw this guy fight, you would even say he blows.
    Cacao: Agreed.
  • Related: Yamcha the Scar Faced Bandit in full. Particularly when Krillin manages to smack talk him.
  • Turles' rant against Christmas in front of Gohan, mainly because of the voice, the way he was speaking, and who he is quoting.
    • Also the previous, nefarious misdeeds of his mooks, including raping Rudolph.
  • As horrible as the implications are, it just crosses so many lines it ends up on funny.
    Slay: You know, you look like one of the kids I let sit on my lap once. 'Course, he was a cancer patient. Asked me if I could get rid of his cancer.
    Krillin: Oh God, this is going exactly where I think it is, isn't it?
    Slay: So I blew him up! No more cancer!
    Krillin: God, you are one of the worst mall Santas ever. Right behind those ones that molest kids.
    Slay: *Beat* So, I'm the worst mall Santa.
    Krillin: Oh come on!

Lord Slug Abridged
  • From the Lord Slug movie, we have Piccolo's interaction with Slug's minions.
    Piccolo: Alright, what's your gimmick?
    Minion: Gimmick?
    Piccolo: Yeah, like the last guys, they were all misfit minions and crap, what're you?
    Angira: We're just here for your planet. Though if I had to choose, I'd say I'm the pretty one.
    Piccolo: Eh, 6 out of 10.
    Angira: You sassy bitch.
    Piccolo: That makes you the weird one with the freaky power.
    Medamatcha: I can spawn mini-mes'!
    Piccolo: (sarcastically) Spectacular. And that would make you no doubt the big, tough, stupid one.
    Dorodabo: You take that back or I'll kill you!
    Piccolo: Alright, alright, you're not tough.
    Dorodabo: That's better.
    Gohan: Didn't you just...
    Piccolo: Give him a minute.
    * Dorodabo thinks to himself...*
    Dorodabo: HEY! You son of a bitcccccccccccch!
    Piccolo: Now, now, that truck is not your eating disorder.
    Dorodabo: You're a penis!
    Piccolo: So long since you've seen yours, you don't even recognize one do ya?
    Dorodabo: *Gets hand broken and the right arm is grabbed* Please don't break my arm.
    Piccolo: No. *Breaks the arm*.
    • The truck returns in this gem delivered after Goku has been impacted into the ground like a vegetable.
      Slug: You know, there's a certain sport I excel at.
      Goku: *muffled due to being underground* What's it called?
      Slug: *plucks Goku out by the leg* Competitive BITCH TOSS! *hurls Goku into a truck*
  • Lord Slug gets his youth back. His response is priceless
    Slug Lord Slug the Almighty has returned! My youth, my Strength, my impeccable singing voice
    • Scenechange to a dark cloud going over the world
      Slug "I see trees of brown, and skies of black, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world!"
  • And of course, the Running Gag regarding the movie's Recycled Script, complete with Lord Slug's own minions mistakenly referring to him as King Piccolo.
    • The parallels are so obvious that even Goku manages to figure out the connection.
  • After Piccolo rips his own ears off in order to avoid being affected by Gohan's whistling, he keeps yelling "WHAT?" every time he thinks someone is talking to him, even when nobody's talking back. He later combines it with the Kaio-ken Running Gag:
    Goku: Kaio-ken!
    Slug: Kaio—
    Piccolo: WHAT?
    • It's doubly funny coupled with the fact Piccolo's Big Damn Heroes moment was accompanied by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's theme music; later in his career "WHAT?" became something of a catchphrase for him.
    • Also comes back during the credits.
  • Vegeta watches Krillin get pasted on TV and records the moment.
    Krillin: Don't worry, Goku. Just sit on back and let Krillin handle this one.
    Vegeta: Oh my god, this is going to be amazing! Aaand... record.
    {Krillin, predictably, gets slapped out of the way by Lord Slug}
    Vegeta: And the Emmy goes to...
    Goku: KRILLIN!
  • Goku thinking it's Christmas for most of the movie. Because it's snowing!
  • Goku getting crestfallen when he realizes it's not Christmas.
    Slug: "What are you talking about? It's July!"
    Goku: "DON'T LIE TO ME!!! IT'S SNOWING!!!"
    Slug: "I froze over your planet, ya mook!"
    Goku: "WHA...but...aww..."
  • Piccolo and Nail's conversation at the beginning of the movie. (Nail is in Piccolo's head, even though he wouldn't have been at the time, but the movie doesn't really fit into continuity anyway.)
    Piccolo: The Kamehameha doesn't drill things!
    Nail: Last time I checked, neither do cannons.
    Piccolo: That's what makes it special.
    • And
      Nail: Who's that?
      Piccolo: It's just Gohan. If you ignore it, it'll go away.
    • Also
      Nail: So you just ignore all of your problems?
      Piccolo: No, some I invite to live inside my head.
  • How Goku seems more worried about trivial things when landing on Iguana Street, than the actual fight.
    Goku: Aw great Iguana Street, now I'm gonna get mugged. But the joke's on them! I have no mo-*Gets punched through wall.*
  • The Overly Long Gag where Dorodabo repeatedly gets knocked off a building by Piccolo.
    Dorobado: Alright, come in from the left... he'll never see th- *POW!* Ah, he saw it coming! Alright, I'll just wait for him down here!
    Piccolo: Hey, how's it going?
    Dorobado: Hey, I'm just waiting for that green jerk to come down here so I can surprise him!
    Piccolo: Neat.
    Dorobado: Yeah! He'll never see it co- oh. *POW!*
    • And shortly afterwards:
      Dorodabo: All right. Look. I know we said some things... I'll bet if we just talk to each other a little, we can become friends. Whadda ya say, high-five?
      Piccolo: {quickly} Down low.
      Dorodabo: Uh—
      Piccolo: Too slow. *ZAP!*
  • Goku's song while charging the Spirit Bomb.
    Goku: Sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun, kill my enemies!
  • Piccolo's master plan against Lord Slug:
    Piccolo: *standing on Slug's head* Hey. Name's Piccolo. I've got your antennae! Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?
    *Slug grabs him*
    Piccolo: Aha! I knew you would do that! Now for phase two of my master plan! *tears off ears* AAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!
    Lord Slug: What the hell is wrong with everyone on this planet!?
  • Medamatcha in general.
    "Papa Medamatcha gonna make you his bitch!"
    "What, bitch! I am talking to you! I will smack you with my dick!"
    • Everything he says is hilarious.
      Medamatcha: What the hell's a Christma— {gets thrown into a ship, which then explodes} Oh, I don't give a sh*t what Christmas is now! I just know I'm going to kill it, and then my little Matchas are going to RAPE IT!
      Goku: Nobody rakes Christmas.
  • Squeaky Toy!Goku returns!
    Slug: This is amazing!
    Goku: Why does everyone laugh when they do that...? That's my ribs crushing my lungs...!
  • Along with the Call Back when Lord Slug reveals himself to be a Namekian.
    Goku: Hold on a minute. I know now! I know what he is! He's a-
    King Kai: Do not say Yoshi!
    Goku: ...I'mma still think it.
  • This exchange.
    Popo: *Hums* What?
    Kami: Mr. Popo, are you torturing a cat?
    Popo: Oh come on Kami, I don't torture cats.
    Jynx: Jynx! Jynx!
    Popo: Bitch, shut up!
  • Slug's Famous Last Words.
  • And then we have The Stinger, when we find out that not only is Lord Slug the result of a split from Guru, but Guru is Lord Slug's EVIL half.
    Guru: Naiiiiil! Come and maaail this for me.
    Nail: Sir, we don't have a mail service.
    Guru: Naaaiil. Gather the Dragon Balls.
  • Slug joining the fight was funny too after killing the soldiers running away.
    Slug: God we go through soldiers here like copy paper. *To Goku and Krillin* If you're with the government or the church, get the f*ck off of my property. Which, considering that I now own this rock, is effectively everything.
  • After Slug is back to his younger state, he now can shoot lasers from his eyes, in which we get this from Goku:
    Goku: *Dodges eye-laser* "He's an X-Men!!"
  • Yajirobe appears and explains the situation to Goku.
    "That meteor kicked your ass. Turns out it was fulla bad guys too, who knew."
  • When Slug's army disembarks the ship, the crowd, rather than reacting in fear, assumes that it's Jesus.
    Crowd Member #1: What the heck do you think's inside?
    One of Slug's soldiers steps out of the ship
    Crowd Member #1: Hi Jesus!
    • And once Slug's army has disembarked the ship:
    Slug Soldier: Inhabitants of Earth, prepare to be conquered in the name of Lord Slug.
    Crowd Member #1: (with a cheering crowd) We love you, Jesus!
  • Let's not forget when King Kai checks in with Goku:
    Goku: Oh, hey King Kai. My nipples are rigid right now!
    King Kai: Well that's...anyway...

Revenge of Cooler Abridged
  • An awkward moment involving Krillin's cooking:
    Oolong: Wow, that smells fantastic! What's in there?
    Krillin: Oh, just some essentials: carrots, potatoes, porrrrrrrrr-[looks straight at Oolong]-poise.
    • Then the punchline, when Sauza spills the beans:
      Oolong: Rot in hell, Krillin, I almost ate that!
  • The fish:
    Magic fish: Halt, stalwart stranger! If you let me go, I shall grant you one wish.
    Goku: I wish for you to be my dinner!
    (screaming and beating noises)
  • Goku continues to be a terrible parent:
    Goku: [talking to a pair of mooks] You get away from my food, my friend [Krillin], my two emergency foods [Oolong and Icarus], and my son! In that order.
    • Then there's his "if I ever have a son" line to Cooler.
  • Krillin pointing out that Gohan and Goku don't need his help.
    Krillin: Wait why do you need my help? Can't Goku bench press a planet?
    Gohan: Krillin, move the damn rocks!
  • Cooler's response to learning Freeza's dead:
    Cooler: Well I sure hope somebody picks up that phone. [beat] Because I f***ing called it!
  • Sauza is from Space France. This results in lines like:
    Sauza: Monsieur Cooler! Your brother... Lord Freeza... he has been... le killed!
    • Or, when he tries to blast Goku:
      Sauza: Le suck it, bitch!
    • And, this gem:
      Sauza: Qu'est-ce que fuck.
    • And, after leveling a forest:
      Sauza: And now, ze perfect place for a shopping mall! It will have a cigarette shop, a baguette restaurant, ze Napoleon Museum, and a movie-theatre only showing films starring Jean Reno. Ho-ho! I'm French!
    • Finally, the punchline when Sauza is killed
      Sauza: ''I will see you in space hell... Cousin Jeice."
  • When the villains ambush Krillin, Gohan, Icarus, and Oolong:
    Krillin: *referring to Doore* Gohan! Look out! Its the Hul-! *gets knocked out* - Lololololoo... *thud*
    Gohan: Krillin! *tail gets grabbed* Goodbye, muscle control.
  • When Cooler's Armored Squadron do their Super Sentai poses:
    Goku: [Beat] I am having the worst case of Deja Mustard right now.
  • Right after Cooler shows up, Gohan and the others are flying in to help Goku when:
    Gohan: Dad! We're coming to help!
    Cooler: (to Goku) Oh, is that your son?
    Goku: ...Yeaaah?
    Cooler: Imma kill it.
    Goku: Don't you do it.
    Cooler: Imma do it.
    Goku: Don't you do it.
    Cooler uses Eye Beams at Gohan
    Goku: DANG IT! *flies in to take the hit for Gohan*
  • Icarus and Oolong waking up Krillin.
    Sound Effects of Icarus licking Krillin's face
    Krillin: Oh. Oh yeah. That's right Maron... Lower... Lower...
    *Krillin suddenly wakes up*
    Krillin: Wha?! Icarus?! [Beat] I didn't say stop.
    [then later]
    Goku: Krillin, what smells like dragon's breath?
    Krillin: Shame, Goku. Lots and lots of shame.
  • When Krillin tells Gohan to fly to Korin's tower on Icarus to pick up some Senzu beans for Goku:
    Gohan: Wait, why am I going?
    Krillin: Because the last time I hung out with him, I completely forgot what his name was and kept calling him "Whiskers the Wonder Cat" the whole time... It was really awkward. Explanation 
  • Yajirobe and Korin's entire argument, especially the end. "I'm not ready for kids!"
  • Goku's dream, which rivals Krillin's in its weirdness:
    Goku: Oh yeah. That's right Chi-Chi... Pour that maple syrup... All over my breakfast. You beautiful lady who lives in my house...
  • When Piccolo confronts the three villains.
    Piccolo: OK, I think I got this one. *points at Sauza* Pretty one. *points at Doore* Stupid one. *points at Neiz* One with weird powers.
    Doore: Oi! I appreciate that, but I say I'm more handsome than pretty.
    Sauza: And my powers are not that weird.
    Neiz: *Roars unintelligibly*
    Piccolo: *Beat* OK, I take it back, you're all stupid.
  • Nail gives color commentary during Piccolo's fight with Sauza (still living in his head), primarily with a lot of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi references.
  • Goku goes Super Saiyan, and we get a Call Back:
    Goku: Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Snickers.
    Cooler: ...I can't help but think we're both missing some context here.
  • Goku destroys the sun. But that's okay.
    Mr. Popo: Uh, hold on a sec... *The sun flickers back into existence*
  • And then there's this:
    Cooler: I'MMA PLANT ME A DUMBASS TREE! (Punches Goku into the ground)
  • Right before Cooler lobs his Supernova at Goku...
    Cooler: By the way, before I throw this thing, did my brother do this?
    Goku: Yeah but his was smaller.
    Cooler: KNEW IT! HA!
  • Cooler's introduction counts as well:
    Goku: FREEZER!
    Sauza: Ha! You sink this is Freeza? No. He is... Cooler
    Goku: Cooler than Freezer? You must be ice cold!
    Cooler: No, that would be my father.
  • Sauza mistakes Goku's Power Level as Oolong's
    Sauza: What? Who's power level is that? It's going off the scale! But the only one in there was the giant monkey and the pig. Sacre Bleu, could it be... the legendary Super Swine!?
  • Goku telling Gohan that he wants to eat Icarus.
    Gohan: You won!
    Goku: Yep, and we all pitched in. Cept' Icarus. C'mere, Goku's hungry!
    Gohan: Wait, what are you-
    • Later on
      Goku: ...No seriously, give me your dragon.

Episode of Bardock
  • Bardock has a delayed realization. During his fight with Chilled.
    Bardock: Hey! What year is it!?
    Chilled: 2222!
    Bardock: BC or AD?
    Chilled: ...the hell are those?
    Bardock: (deadpan) I'm in the f***ing past.
    • The sheer shark-jumping of this moment causes him to go Super Saiyan.
      Bardock: Of all the STUPID! (head-desks on the ground) ASININE! (punches ground) SHARK-JUMPING BULLSHIT! (head-smashes again, and turns Super-Saiyan in rage.)
  • During the opening, Freeza and co bring up callbacks from the earlier movie. Bardock's reactions are beautiful.
    Freeza: You know, the funny thing is, Bardock, even if you had seen this coming, there's nothing you could have done about it.
    Bardock: You don't... you have no goddamned idea.
    Zarbon: Mm, and even if you'd told every single Saiyan, none of them would have believed you.
    Bardock: Just... please stop talking.
    Dodoria: And you never got a chance to say goodbye to your son.
    Bardock: I have one of those? *realization* Oh god, I have TWO of those!
    • Bardock also shows that he is in fact Gohan's grandpa.
      Freeza: Consider this downsizing on a global scale! You can pick up your unemployment checks wherever you end up.
      Bardock: Go to hell! *throws energy blast*
      Freeza: See, that was my first guess. *throws Death Ball, which absorbs Bardock's attack*
      Bardock: Aw, crab-baskets.
  • Every single primitive Saiyan is named for a different rapper. And they all sound like Kermit the Frog. And Bardock's sheer unbridled hatred for them knows no bounds.
    Dr. Dray: Hi ho! We found you near death and in a valley not far from here. We helped bring you back to health with our magical healing S.P.U.G.E.
    Bardock: *shocked and disgusted gasp*
    Dr. Dray: Super Polymorphic Unleashing Gel. We brought you to our town on our pleasant, serene little planet. My name is Dray, and this is my child Twopock. Say hi ho, Twopock.
    Twopock: Hi ho! Where are you from?
    Bardock: (calmly) There is nothing about this whole scenario that doesn't make me so disgusted I want to violently vomit out my own internal organs. I despise you both so intensely that I can't tell if my vision is blurry from my near-death experience or from my unforgiving rage. If allowed, once I am back to full health, I will gut you with an honest-to-god smile on my face, and then proceed to paint the home I build with your bodies with your very blood.
    Dr. Dray: You hear that Twopock? You've made a friend.
    • What makes this one even funnier is that Twopock's line is Jump Cut directly into an explosion so for a second it feels like Bardock actually did kill them before shown otherwise.
  • And later, after saving the village...
    Saiyan: Hooray! Everyone give praise to our new violent savior!
    All: Dah who dor-aze! Fah who dor-aze...
    Bardock: NO! None of that! Shame on you!
    • This is repeated later when Chilled and his minions arrive in the village asking for Bardock.
      Saiyan: All hail the violent saviour!
      All: Dah who dor-aze...
      Chilled: NO! None of that! Shame on you!
    • The look of sheer shock the Saiyans show when Chilled tells them "None of that!" is absolutely hilarious.
  • Later, when Dr. Dray can be seen healing another resident.
    Rizza: Thank you Dr. Dray, your S.P.U.G.E has cured my syphilis.
    Dr. Dray: *happily* You are welcome, Rizza.
    Rizza: Well, back to what I was doing before!
    Dr. Dray: Oh, you are just incorrigible.
    * Chilled and his soldiers walk into the village.*
    Soldier: Hello, we are the Space Police.
    Aice Qube: *offscreen* Man, BLEEP the police!
    Dr. Dray: *annoyed* Not now, Aice Qube!
    Soldier: We are here to catch evil space criminals and various other ne'er do wells.
    Dr. Dray: I can assure you that we have already exiled Khris of the clan Brown from our planet.
  • Bardock schools Chilled's minions on how to intimidate a village.
    Bardock: Seriously? This is how you intimidate a village? Blow up a house or two? I don't even think you killed anyone with those pea-shooters. Speaking of which, what models are those, they look ancient.
    Soldier: Heeey, we were gonna kill one of the sick ones if they didn't comply.
    Bardock: *sarcastically* Oh, kill one of the sick ones. What're you going to do next, waterboard the elderly?
    Soldier: Look buddy, we didn't come here to be judged by you.
    • This is again revisted during the Stinger during the credits, where Bardock actually instructs the villains on how to do PROPER villainy! It also includes a joke from the Ocean Dub.
      Bardock: Seriously, you want to learn how to traumatize a village? Ok. See that kid over there? Bardock is shown blowing him up.
      Saiyan: RDP, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
      Bardock: You hear that mother? THAT... is distraught.
      Soldier: ...You should write a book. You're like a brilliant scientist!
      Bardock: Well, I am working on this fake moon thing.
      • To explain, the Ocean Dub has Vegeta credit Bardock for the creation of the Saiyans' false moon technique, even though this has no basis in canon.
  • Chilled's hamminess is enough to send anyone into hysterical laughter.
    Chilled: And nooow yououou diiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!
  • And when the future Pineapple is informing Chilled of his two soldiers' deaths...
    Pineapple: Lord Chilled! The vital sensors and the blasters of the two soldiers you just s-
    Chilled: Shh, shh, shh.
    Chilled: Continue.
    Pineapple: ...have ceased transmissions. We believe they're dead!
    Chilled: (gasps) Hooow outragggeous! In honor of their deaths, my men shall now and forever more be given the names of fruits! Pineapple! Briiing us to Planet Plant!
    Pineapple: ...So, am I Pineapple?
    Chilled: Yesssssssssssss!
  • The whole thing was a story Goku made up to tell Gohan, then when he questions it... he wakes up to Piccolo watching him.
    Piccolo: Go back to sleep Gohan.
  • The blue mook shooting up the Saiyan village: "Inhabitants of Planet Plant: we are here on a diplomatic mission in the name of your new emperor, Lord Chilled. Pamphlets will be passed around to you to introduce you to your new, exciting lives as slaves to his almighty horniness."
  • Bardock's reaction to Twopock coming to him for help: "Oh, Space Christ, what now?"
    • This results in the second of Bardock's creeping realizations that he's in the past, which again is interrupted. He kicks Twopock away and flies off which leads to this gem.
      Twopock: I am now bearing your child.
  • This exchange between Chilled and Dr. Dray is as funny as it is full of innuendo.
    Chilled: That's right! Continue to blow up the houses, we will avenge my men AND TAKE CONTROL OF THIS PLANET... Also we want your healing medicine.
    Dr. Dray: How did you hear about our S.P.U.G.E.!?
    Chilled: BECAUSE OF RAISINS! ...Raisins is my intel guy.
    Soldier: Now give us your S.P.U.G.E, or we'll beat it out of ya.
    Chilled: (holding a camcorder) And I'll record the whole thing!
    • Bardock jumps in and saves the good doctor, commenting on the conversation as he's snapping one of Chilled's mook's neck.
      Bardock: I'm sorry I had to step in, but that was just getting obscene.
  • There's one final rap reference, and it's a clever one. When Chilled attacks Twopock and injures him, Dray utters this line:
    Dr. Dray: No, Twopock! Damn you... big... small guy!
    • So the villain of the movie? Biggie Smalls. Hilarious if you remember that Tupac and Biggie were feuding with one another before their deaths.
  • As it turns out, Bardock DOES hate one thing more then the past Saiyans...
    Bardock: *upon seeing Chilled* Freeza? Freeza! *sees Chilled as Freeza* FREEEEZA! *punches Chilled*
  • Chilled's last decree to his men.
    Chilled: Before I die... I have... one final decree. All of our most elite warriors must learn dance... choreography. *takes off breathing mask and leans up* Got... to... style... all over our opponents'... baaaaaaaaallllssss. *dies*
    • Even more funny when you catch that it's a None Piece shout out... or a Take That at the Ginyu Force.
  • Even the post-death scene is funny.
    Pineapple: Well, call it Blueberry.
    Blueberry: Do I still have to call myself Blueberry?
    Raisin: I'm going to keep calling you Blueberry.
    Blueberry: SHUT UP RAISIN!
  • Chilled's reaction to Bardock going Super Sayian, as well as that of the Past Sayians is pure genius.
    Chilled: Oh i'm sorry, I only fight natural blondes.
    Bardock: I... am the legendary Super Saiyan...
    Sayians: Yay! We're all Super Saiyans!
    Bardock: I will EAT YOU!
  • The narrator in the beginning, who explains that Freeza destroying planet Vegeta should have been the end of Bardock... if not for a thing called merchandising!

Dead Zone Abridged
Note: This is not to be confused with the pre-TFS Dead Zone Abridged.
  • Garlic Jr realizing that the kid his minions kidnapped is the son of Son Goku, strongest man on Earth.
    Garlic: Oh god, your father's Goku. Oh my GOD, you morons stole Goku's kid?! How? How did you steal Goku's kid?!
    Garlic: Oh my shit.
  • Goku isn't allowed to swear.
    Goku: Maybe they just want a good old-fashioned Goku fanny-whupping!
    Bulma: "Fanny"?
    Goku: Chi-chi doesn't like us to swear.
    Bulma: Butt isn't a swear.
    Goku: ...The HFIL you talkin' about?
  • "...Son of a bitch just ate my pears."
  • The dragon is amazed that someone just went straight ahead and wished for immortality.
    Shenron: Wow, I can't remember the last time someone actually nutted up and asked for that. Congrats! Can't wait to hear how you f**k this up.
  • The glorious amount of Lampshade Hanging. From trying to kill Piccolo to Garlic's immortality, they never miss an opportunity.
    • The discussion of how they brought Gohan in.
    Garlic Jr.: So let me get this straight. I send you shipdits off to find me a Dragon Ball, and you bring back a toddler.
    Pepper: Well, we did bring back the Dragon Ball.
    Garlic Jr.: And a toddler. Did you try, I don't know, taking off the hat?
    Cinnamon: Well, we thought about it on the way back, but it really brings the whole Chinese prince look together.
    Ginger: And he's your size. You can rock that shit!
    Garlic Jr.: ...Fair enough.
    • Then there's this gem between Kami and Popo:
    Kami: Mr. Popo! I believe... that Piccolo may have been slain!
    Popo: ...I think you'd know if he were. You still there?
    Kami: Yes.
    Popo: Then he ain't dead, is he, Drama Queen?
    • Garlic's immortality (granted after Piccolo's "death")
    Kami: Wait, so you tried to have me killed, then you used the Dragon Balls.
    Garlic Jr.: Huh, what? Yeah, why? *beat* Oh, shit. Wow I dodged a bullet on that one! Thank god my minions are so incompetent!
    • Then Goku points this out to the minions!
    Ginger: Oh wow, yeah! Thank god we're incompetent!
  • Krillin getting pissed on by a hungover Gohan.
  • Krillin trying to dodge the rubble falling from the ceiling to the tune of Tetris while saying "crap!" in time with the notes.
    • Which is a nice and subtle tip to the pre-TFS version, where Krillin referenced the game during the same scene.
  • Goku's obsession with finding the meatery.
  • The ending. It was all Krillin pitching the idea as a movie to Nappa, explaining the numerous plot holes and inconsistencies as Krillin being Krillin.
    Nappa: First question: why would he summon the Dead Zone? The only thing that could defeat him?
    Krillin: OK, I wrote myself into a corner with that whole immortality thing. Pretty much regretted it immediately after.
    Nappa: Second question, and I mean no offense... why exactly were you there?
    Krillin: I do bring a certain humanistic edge to the setting.
    Nappa: And why did you write yourself getting peed on?
    Krillin: The better question is - how much would you pay me to get peed on?
    Nappa: ...You're gonna go far in this business!
  • Garlic Jr. boasts that he's immortal and wonders what a kid can do. Gohan screams and Garlic Jr. falls into the Dead Zone with a simple "Aah".
  • Gohan's Mushroom Samba from the apple he steals in the court yard.
    Cinnamon: Well, I hope you packed your bags kid, cause you're about to go on a triiiiiip *Gohan spaces out*
  • When the minions have been taken care of.
    • In the Pre-Team Four Star version (by Neighborhood Cluck Productions), "Ginger" had his name changed to "Douchebag," and would constantly reference this.
  • This gem:
    Goku: Oh, come on you guys, that's not fair. I can't pull swords out of my body...
  • Garlic Jr.'s extremely out-of-context line here:
  • The "linner" gag, eventually coming full circle at the end:
    Goku: Now let's go han Gohome. It's almost time for dikfast.
  • One of the Spice Boys getting behind Goku is met with a "STRANGER DANGER!" and a Power Pole to the gut.
    Ginger: That shit gets longer?!
    Cinnamon: *weakly* Oh yeah it does!
    • Which leads to this line:
    Cinnamon: Friggin' hell. Last time I take on a guy with a pole that big.
  • Piccolo's last line.
    Piccolo: ...I'm gonna steal that kid.

Cooler 2: The Return of Coolers Revenge The Reckoning
  • Goku's reaction to finding out the Namekians don't eat.
    Goku: That's weird. They're weird.
  • The entire exchange on the ship, really, particularly Master Roshi wanting to "Get with some fine Namekian ladies".
  • Oolong asking if planets can get cancer when he sees the Big Gete Star.
    Roshi: If it needs inspectin', I'm your man! I've done my share of mammograms in my day if ya catch my drift!
    Oolong: When I do them, they're called hammograms.
    Yajirobe: That'll do, pig.
  • Goku's line upon meeting the robots.
    Goku: I don't wanna have to solve this with violence ... but I also reeeeally wanna punch you. (more robots show up) And your friends.
  • Beep.
  • Kami doesn't know about what happened to the albino Namekians. Nail and Piccolo are in no hurry to tell him.
  • Goku still has trouble differentiating between Freeza and Cooler.
    Goku: So, you return once again, Freezer.
    Gohan: Cooler.
    Goku: Cooler.
    Cooler: Yes, I have returned, dumbass.
    Goku: Goku.
    Cooler: Dumbass.
  • Cooler is not happy to find out that he's basically doing what Freeza did.
    Cooler: Kill the bald one.
    Krillin: [As he gets smashed into a mountain] Freeza did it!
  • Piccolo figures out how to defeat robots: hit them really hard. He's annoyed that it sounds like one of Goku's plans, but it works...
    • This was built up to by Kami and Nail pounding his Berserk Button about never being able to beat Goku.
  • Then comes this fun exchange when Piccolo's arm is caught and starts getting nailed by bullets.
    Piccolo: Ow, ow-ow-ow-OW! Dicks! Dicks!
    Nail: They're just bullets, they're hardly even- (The rest of the robots aim Arm Cannons at Piccolo) Oh cool, cannons! Those'll hurt!
    Piccolo: They do-oo-oo-oo-hooo!
  • Cooler has Goku by the neck - and apparently has for an entire separate scene.
    Cooler: My god you take an eternity to choke.
    Goku: [strangling] Is... that all you've got?
    Cooler: As a matter of fact... [chokes him harder]
    Goku: Regret, regret!
  • Beep.
    Krillin: That one's asking for it!
  • Cooler repeatedly punches Vegeta over the horizon, and he keeps coming back. Seven times on-screen.
    Cooler: He's quite persistent.
    Goku: You have no idea, (Vegeta gets punched off screen again)...He's actually a really nice guy after you get to know him
    Cooler: I doubt that.
    • Goku saving Vegeta twice in a matter of seconds. Vegeta gets pissed, to say the least.
      Goku: Don't worry, saved you again best buddy.
      Vegeta: THAT'S IT, KILLING YOU BOTH! (raises palm) BIG BANG ATTACK!
      (Vegeta fires, but neither Goku or Cooler are on screen. Moments later, Vegeta takes a shot to the nuts so hard that he goes super slow-mo and Ave Maria briefly cues up. He then lands in Goku's arms)
      Goku: Aw... he's all tuckered out.
      • What makes the moment all the funnier however is Vegeta's ultra high pitched shrieking during the Ave Maria cue.
      • To put this in perspective, he's kicked so hard you can not only hear a sickening crunch but can see the outline of Cooler's foot on the other side of Vegeta's body.
        Vegeta: He keeps kicking me in the dick. WHY? Why does he keep kicking me in the dick?!
        Goku: Wait, I think I may have a way to beat him—
        Vegeta: If you say "hit him really hard", I swear to god, I will kick YOU in the dick!
        Goku: (hesitantly) I guess...we could hit him...really hard...
        Vegeta: (angry growl)
        Goku: ...together?
        Vegeta: ...whatever.
    • Then, when it's revealed that Cooler has an army of himself:
      Goku: You take the five hundred on the right, I'll take the five hundred on the left.
      Vegeta: Screw you, I'll take five hundred and one!
      Goku: That's the spirit!
      (The two go Super Saiyan, followed by a Smash Cut to them captured)
      Goku: Wow. I can't believe every single one of them kicked you in the dick.
      Vegeta: [high-pitched whine]
    • And the final payoff, as Vegeta slices off the final Cooler's arm.
      Vegeta: That was for... m'dick.
  • The origin of Cooler's union with the Big Gete Star
    Cooler: I bet you're dying to know the story.
    Goku: I'm really not intereste-
    Cooler: You see...
    [Cut to the charred remains of Cooler's head floating through space. A microchip flies by and embeds in his forehead, reviving him.]
    Cooler: What the fu-[The flashback ends abruptly] And that's how it happened.
  • Beep.
    Cooler: And you're just brown nosing.
  • Goku constantly misprononouncing the name of the Big Gete Star, such as The Spaghetti Star, The Ghetto Star, the Serengeti Star....
    Cooler: Not dignifying that.
  • After Goku and Vegeta overloads the Star's systems, Cooler tries to mount a last offense by summoning his robotic bodies. However...
    Big Gete Star: Beep.
    Cooler: I know! I can't stop them! Where are the mes?! Send in the mes!
    Big Gete Star: Beep.
    * Cut to outside where all the Meta Coolers are exploding*
    Cooler: Oh f...
    Big Gete Star: Beep.
    Cooler: Mes!
  • CL4P-TP is the voice of one of Cooler's robots.
  • It turns out that Dende invited them, but NOT to Namek.
    Dende: [on Kami's Lookout] WHERE THE F*CK IS EVERYONE?!
  • As Piccolo makes his appearance at the base, the Terminator theme plays.
    Piccolo: Come with me if you want to live.
    Gohan: Eh. Wrong Sci-Fi, but it'll do.
  • Just as Krillin is about to take on a robot:
    Krillin: I've prepared my whole life for this: IT'S KRILLER TIME!
    * robot elbows him*
    Krillin: ...is never gonna be a thing. *falls to the floor*
  • After Goku and Vegeta destroy the Big Gete Star by overloading its systems.
    Cooler: How?! It literally doesn't make any sense! It took everything you had to defeat a single me. Yet you had enough power to overload the Big Gete Star?! HOW?! HOW DID YOU DO THIS?!
    Goku: It looks like... you underestimated our power. Just like-
    Cooler: Don't you DARE—
    Goku: you did on Earth.
    Cooler: Oh. Fair enou—
    Vegeta: And just like Freeza.
    [Cooler flies into an inarticulate rage as he forms a massive body for himself.]
  • Goku's Pre-Mortem One-Liner to Cooler.
    Goku: Time to put you.....on ice! (Throws an energy ball inside Cooler's chest)
    Cooler: ...Really?
    • Even funnier is his really deadpan tone as he says it, then a simple sigh just before he explodes. It's as if he just decided that it wasn't worth the effort to get worked up over anymore.
  • Vegeta introduces himself with a Badass Boast. Cooler doesn't care and ignores him during most of it.
  • Master Roshi has many things... A best friend that's a turtle, an island, chlamydia... The situation he is in is not one of them.
  • When the gang is first cornered by Cooler's robots:
    Oolong: I'm going to die on an alien planet. Dammit, I'm becoming Krillin!
  • The title.
  • Beep.
  • The oh-so-fitting song that plays during the credits: Monkey vs. Robot
  • KaiserNeko's breakdown during the... episode breakdown about how the movie has so many plotholes and inconsistencies with the canon, as well as horrible artwork and inconsistent key frame animation, leads him to repeatedly state "Fuck this movie!"
    • And at the end, he starts gushing at The World's Strongest, and mentions wanting to abridge that as well.
      • A little soapbox appears during his rant
    • Arguably the funniest use of the phrase came in the opening, with him saying "Fuck this movie" over and over, each time punctuated by a particularly Off Model screencap.

    DBZ Abridged - Specials 
  • Subscriber Special: After hearing there were at least 9k subscribers, the usual question was asked, however, this happens..
    Nappa: You mean
    Vegeta: It's....
    Nappa: It's(getting excited)
    Vegeta: It's over...
    Nappa: It's over?(really excited)
    Vegeta: It's over 8000
    Nappa: What 8..(gets confused), wait what? You didn't do it right.
    Vegeta: Yes I did, Nappa. Yes I did.
  • The Halloween Special:
    Professor: Well, what's your costume?
    Popo: Oh, I'm not in costume. Yet. Hold on. [cut to clip of the Cloverfield monster, with Popo's maniacal laughter]
  • Four Words: Banana on a tricycle unicycle.
    • Heck, the entire FAQ is one big CMOF.
    • The obnoxious salaryman... er, fan. That is all.
      Obnoxious Fan: Can I be Cutter?
      Vegeta: No! Wait... who the hell is Cutter?
      Obnoxious Fan: You guys suck! I'm going to go complain on my LiveJournal page.
      Vegeta: Yes, I'm sure your mother reads it religiously.
    • Also-
      Obnoxious Fan: Can I be Oozaru?
      Vegeta: I DON'T KNOW! LET'S ASK HIM!
      Oozaru: ROAR! (Fires blast of energy from his mouth at the Obnoxious Fan.)
      Obnoxious Fan: Owww!
    • Nappa answering the question of who writes and edits the show.
      Nappa: Well, it's edited by the Tiger Kitty!
      Vegeta: Kaiser Neko, Nappa!
      Nappa: Kaiser Cat!
      Vegeta: Neko!
      Nappa: Meow! (pair of cat ears pops up on his head)
    • Krillin may be motivated with the spirit bomb on the outside, but on the inside...
  • There's also the second FAQ special. Yamcha tries to answer a question, and is blown up by a saibaman.
  • The AWA special:
    Nappa: Hey. Vegeta. Check out that cosplayer over there. They're hot!
    Vegeta: Goddamnit Nappa, stop breaking the fourth... whoa, wow, she is hot.
    Nappa: I'm talking about that guy over there! The L cosplayer!
    Vegeta: Nappa, that's just a guy in a white sweatshirt.
    Nappa: Yeah, like I said. L.
    Vegeta: Are you telling me that counts as a cosplay?
    Nappa: Yep!
    Vegeta: F***ing cop-out.
    • Later:
    Nappa: Does this mean we've offended everyone?
    Vegeta: One second let me think... Dragonball the Movie.
    Nappa: (laughs) Ah, high school.
  • In the middle of the Conneticon 2011 announcement.
    Announcer: ...wait a minute, this is missing something. Hey Nappa, say something funny.
    Nappa: My parents died in a tragic space accident when I was only a child. That's why I can never grow up.
    Announcer: Ha ha, oh Nappa.
  • Nappa and the other bald characters' parody of Lady Gaga's Born This Way.
    • After the music stops, some of the reactions are priceless:
      Nappa: Tien, what are you doing?! That was your line!
      Tien: Yeah, I'm not doing it.
      Nappa: I thought we talked about this.
      Tien: Yeah. You talked. I said no.
      Nappa: Look. It took a long time to put this together. Piccolo's in the outfit!
      Piccolo: (covered in plush Yoshis) I'm in the outfit.
      Tien: That's because you have no friends.
      Piccolo: (stops smiling and sobs offscreen)
      Nappa: What the f***, Tien?
      Krillin: Oh, geez!
      Nappa: Why?!
      Tien: F*** you, that's why.
  • Dragon Ball Kai Abridged, the entirety of season 1 condensed into two minutes and ten seconds of nonstop hilarity.
    Goku: I have a kid.
    Gohan: I'm socially awkward.
    Krillin: He's adorable! [Blasted through a wall by Raditz. The Krillin Owned Count rapidly rises before exploding.]
  • Kai Abridged 2 ramps it up even more, covering the Namek arc.
    • Freeza reads the disclaimer.
      Freeza: This is a parody. Buy the fucking show!
    • Freeza's introduction:
      Freeza: Hello, I'm Space Napolehitler. Give me the thing.
      Mouri: No!
      Freeza: Give me the thing!
      Mouri: No!
      Freeza: Kill his kid! (Kid dies) Give me the thing.
      Mouri: Here.
      Freeza: Kill him!
      Mouri: But the thing! (Neck Snap)
    • Instead of Freeza or Dodoria in the shower, the Solar Flare gag instead has Lanipator dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter at TFS' first 18+ panel at Youmacon.
    • Vegeta's infamous scream is so powerful this time that it crashes the Adobe Flash plugin. And then he smashes through it.
      • Prior to this, Vegeta's continuous maniacal laughter as he breaks out of Freeza's ship, steals Freeza's Dragon Balls as he leaves, kills Zarbon, and takes the Dragon Ball the good guys had.
      • Second place goes to Krillin, which manages to keep his scream going for the entire time Vegeta is at their cave.
        Krillin: AAAAAHHHHHHH-No seriously though. Where's Gohan?
    • Vegeta: Hey guys, you remind of some assholes I'm about to kill!
    • Goku's arrival takes out the Ginyu Force in a massive explosion. Unfortunately, his ship crashing on top of them also took him out of commission - what're the odds?
      Vegeta: Put him in... (turns head) THE POD.
      (cue zoom in as a dramatic musical sting plays before the scene abruptly cuts to Goku inside of the pod)
      Goku: (thinking) I wonder if this'll become a trend.
    • When Porunga is summoned:
      Gohan: So, what are we—
      Krillin: Bring Piccolo back!
      Piccolo: Yeah!
      Krillin: Now bring him to Namek!
      Piccolo: NOOOOO(POW! POW!)OOOOOOO!
    • Vegeta threatens to kill Dende's parents if he's not made immortal.
    Dende: Joke's on you.
    • Porunga dies right before Vegeta can get his immortality.
      Vegeta:...wait am I immortal?
      Freeza: I don't know! Let's see...
    • Goku and Vegeta when grabbed by Freeza:
      Goku and Vegeta: No, Freeza-dono, yamete!
    • Another reference to the infamous Big Green dub.
      Goku: Hey, let that Vegeta alone!
    • When Goku starts charging the Spirit Bomb:
      Freeza: Stop it.
      Goku: No.
      Freeza: Stop it.
      Goku: NNNO.
      Freeza: STOP. IT.
      Goku: (blows raspberry)
      Freeza: That's it, stoppin' it myself. (Goku throws the Spirit Bomb) What the-
      Unreal Tournament Announcer: DOMINATING!
      Freeza: Eep.
    • After the spirit bomb.
      Gohan: We did it dad!
      Goku: And we didn't even lose Krill... **Krillin explodes** aw swiddlesticks.
    • Piccolo gets shot by Freeza ("Agh, right in the tit!"), leaving Gohan to say Piccolo's line instead.
      Gohan: Why... didn't you... DOOOOODGE?!
    • The running gag of referring to the Dragonballs as "things". Which may or may not be a reference to Krillin's off-hand comment about Freeza's metaphor about Old Space Yeller.
    Krillin: How is that a thing?!
    Freeza: How!?
    (Freeza's dismembered body lands on the ground)
    Goku: ...Soooo, which way's your ship?
    (Freeza's severed left arm lands next to him, pointing)
    Freeza: (weakly) That... way.
    • The ending in which Goku uses the Muffin Button so much, he turns Namek into a giant muffin.
      Goku: (Giggles) Yay!.
    • Dodoria's death scene.
      Vegeta: 'Sup, Chubs McKenzey, any last words before I kill you?
      Dodoria: I have a THICK. MEATY. VAGINA. (She's blasted by Vegeta, who begins to gag)
    • Cui's appearence.
      Vegeta: I'm on Namek now!
      Cui: Hi, Vegeta.
      Vegeta: Hi, Cui. (blasts him) Bye, Cui.
    • Dende getting a Borderlands-style intro screen which says "Little Green: White Mage", and then saying "My parents are dead!"
    • Goku turning Super Sayian:
      Goku: This! Ruffles! My! Jammies! AAAAAAAH— (Turns Super Sayian with the rib-crushing squeak)
    • The Reveal that Nappa had watched the whole thing.
      Nappa: Aaaaaaand unsubscribed.
    • Zarbon says only two things - rather effeminate "mmm" sounds, and this:
      Vegeta: Hey, it's the gay one.
      Zarbon: Maybe I'm gay. Or maybe stereotypes are bullshit. MMM. (Transforms) PUSSY!
      Vegeta: OH NO. (Gets his ass kicked)
    • After Freeza lost his chance at immortality thanks to Dende.
      Freeza: You **Bark**ed me. You **Chicken sound**ed me you monkey **Monkey sound**ck!
    • Their summary of King Kai's part in the Namek Saga:
    Yamcha: Hey King Kai, can you teach us the—
    King Kai: NO!
  • When Dende brings back Piccolo on Earth:
    Piccolo:' Welp, I'm confused.
    Gohan: It looks like the dragon brought every person on Namek to Earth!
    Piccolo: ALL OF THEM?!
    • Since there was a secret backwards message in the special, some kind soul decided to post a reversed version of the entire episode. Besides being able to hear the backwards message, you also get to see Freeza knit his body back together, Goku squeaking as he goes from Super Saiyan to regular Saiyan and then he starts screaming, and Vegeta's Evil Laugh, only it sounds like he's barking.
    • In a meta-sense, consider that this episode is twice as long as the previous Kai while going at the same pace. That is how long the Namek arc takes.
  • The Anime Evolution 2010 promo;
    Guru: Nail... Naaaaaail!
    Nail: What is it, Lord Guru?
    Guru: Do you know what I love about Canada?
    Nail: ...Sir, there's nothing to love about Canada.
    Guru: Nail...
    Nail: No, seriously, it's the only place more boring than here-
    Guru: Nail! None of that.
    Nail: (Sighs) What is that you love about Canada, sir?
    Guru: I love... their moose!
    Moose: Hurr!
    Nail: (Makes a surprised yelp)
  • Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you: "Captain Ginyu Style!"
  • The video advertising upcoming episodes and new T-Shirts is hilarious with Nappa and Vegeta arguing over doing the commercial (Nappa wants him to do it, Vegeta doesn't). But, the real icing on the cake of hilarity is Vegeta VS Alucard at the end.
  • Takahata101 attending a Dragon Ball Kai panel at Sakura-Con:
    Takahata: Dragon Ball Kai is Dragon Ball Z essentially, right?
    Chris Sabat: You could say that.
    Takahata: It's shortened, correct?
    Chris Sabat: Right.
    Takahata: It's redubbed, right?
    Chris Sabat: In a way, yes.
    Takahata: It's partially rewritten, correct?
    Chris Sabat: It is completely rewritten, yes.
    Takahata (Nappa voice): Way to be 4 years late to that party!
  • The alternate takes of Krillin's death at the hands of Freeza.
    Krillin: YOLO! (boom)
    Krillin: Someone set me up the bomb! (boom)
    Krillin: I've heard of an explosive temper, but this is ridiculou-(boom)
    Krillin: Hey, guys! Look! It's my Chiaotzu impression! Goodbye, Tie-(boom)
  • The alternate take from episode 30's ending.
    Dr Briefs: Finally, we're rid of all those dang yo-
    Bulma: DAD!!!
    Dr Briefs: I was gonna say Namekians...
    Bulma: **Beat** ...No you weren't.
    Dr Briefs: No I wasn't. **He was about to say Yoshi.**
  • The alternate take of Goku escaping Namek. He presses the muffin button, but gets a cookie instead. The result is a Big "NO!" as the planet explodes.
  • The alternate take of Yamcha's suicide. The rope he hung himself with? It was Puar using his shape-shifting.
  • A deleted scene from episode 43, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea tries to save the day with their military. Keyword being tries. Their missiles launched and... proceeded to all malfunction at the same time and fall back down, causing the PRK army to run in the name of the glorious People's Republic.
    • Cue jokes from from the fandom that North Korea's weapons are so out of date that this is exactly what would happen in real life.
  • The deleted scene from Episode 44 had Yamcha take the Idiot Ball in full by saying that, yes, Goku and Gohan both would go fight the evil, killer androids in the presence of resident Mama Bear Chi-Chi. Oolong tries to get him to stop.
    Oolong: Yamcha, as the man-pig that's known you longer than everyone else in this room... shut up!!
    • There's also Gohan's reply to Chi-Chi telling him that they're not going to fight the androids, but instead go back to living their nice and peaceful life while Gohan becomes a doctor/lawyer/scientist.
  • Celloween: Krillin using the false ultimate attack, SOLAR FLARE.
    Kid: We on a plane mama.
    Krillin: *Smiling, then realizes, thinking* Wait, that's not my ultimate attack, I thought the Kienz...AH GODDAMMIT EVERY TIME.
    • And the ending, it turns out to be a dream, and guess who is at Kame HouseNote .
    Krillin: Oh man, I had the craziest dream! Cell was there!
    Piccolo: Well the androids are here! *points towards 16, 17, and 18*
    17: Yo.
    *Krillin lets out a terrified scream*
    • Made funnier in Episode 45 where it turns out the dream is influenced by the news that Piccolo was watching while the others were sleeping. Krillin even murmurs some of his dialogue from the short in his sleep.
  • I AM THE HYPE And So Can You! is full of them despite being a shirt commercial. But what else could you expect from a commercial starring Vegeta and Alucard?
    Vegeta: Also, where the hell's the producer?
    Alucard: Oh, he says he's got a "Full Day".
    Nappa: Welp, this coke won't snort itself! (Snorting noises)
    • Vegeta's worry over the line "When you wish upon a star" being owned by Disney and Alucard's response.
    Alucard: Nope! Totes public domain! Trust me, even I don't have the patience for Disney lawyers.
    Eren: Alright guys I'm here! And I'm ready to record for shirts!
    Vegeta: Oh... Shit.
    Alucard: (Panicking) Get out of here! YOU DON'T EXIST!
    Eren: Wha-
    Alucard: YOU DON'T EXIS- (static followed by a broadcast error screen that says "VIDEO PULLED BY JAPANESE COPYRIGHT OWNERS".)
    • In the background a picture can be seen that reads "WEN BROLI"

Alternative Title(s):

Dragon Ball Abridged