Funny / Dragon Ball Z Abridged
aka: Dragon Ball Abridged

Funny moments from DBZ Abridged. WARNING: You might be here a while.

Moments from Two Saiyans Play can be found here.

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    DBZ Abridged - Episodes - Other 

    DBZ Abridged - Cell Vs. 
  • Let's be real, the very fact that these exist is incredibly hilarious.
  • Cell Vs. Yusuke Urameshi Yusuke and Kuwabara drop in to challenge Cell... until he asks which one of them can vaporize an entire planet with their weapons. They wisely pack up and leave.
    Yusuke: (muttering) Pompous green asshole, I'll show you what my middle finger can do...
    • And after:
    Cell: (smirking) They're going to have to take the bus home. Because they're kids.
  • Cell Vs. Yami Yugi has the King of Games challenge Cell... and end up cutting the wind out of Cell's sails when Yugi's boasts end up building up to a card game. Cell actually thinks he's getting Punk'd!
    • When Cell realizes that Yami Yugi's challenging him to a children's card game, he almost immediately agrees to play and tries to learn the rules despite the Cell Games being a martial arts tournament.
      Yami: I'm trying to duel you! ...In "Duel Monsters"?
      Cell: "Duel Monsters"?
      Yami: It's a children's card game! Ancient Egyptians loved it!
      Cell: (cheerfully) F*ck, I'm down! How do we play?
    • Yami Yugi legitimately thought it was a Duel Monsters tournament and is sincerely confused that Cell doesn't have a deck of cards to duel him with.
      Yami: Where's your deck?
      Cell: My d-d-d-d-d-deck?
    • Cell applies a heaping dose of Reality Ensues on Yami Yugi by being a Rules Lawyer in actually dueling Yugi, citing real life Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading Card Game tournament rules that prevent him from playing all his overpowered cards like "Pot of Greed" and any of the God Cards.note  Then he starts pointing out their choice of venue when Yugi objects. Yugi gets fed up and leaves.
  • Cell Vs. Ryu and Ken shows Ryu and Ken picking a fight with Cell in a short guest animated by DasBoSchitt of The Gmod Idiot Box fame.
    • To reiterate the guest animation aspect, the video opens to Cell examining his now three-dimensional hands.
      Cell: Hmm? I feel different.
    • Ryu being the Comically Serious.
      Ryu: The only way warriors can truly communicate is with our fists.
      Cell: What about our... mouths?
    • Ken fights Cell. This goes as well as you'd expect.
      • The interface that appears during so names Cell Mr. P. Cell while Ken's named Weirdface Ken.
    • Ryu tapping into the Satsui No Hado is normally a serious matter, until we see it from Cell's view, where it just looks like Ryu is squatting and twitching awkwardly.
      Cell: ...Have you tried praying it away?
    • Evil Ryu attacks Cell, causing the screen to go black with impact flashes all over. The next shot is Evil Ryu on the ground unconscious.
      • Cell's reaction to the whole thing is hilarious since that means that he countered the Raging Demon accidentally.
    • Ken drops down in a cloud of dust as the announcer declares Perfect Cell the winner, with a perfect no less.
  • In Cell Vs. Sonic & Knuckles, the Blue Blur and Rad Red speed into the arena to take on Cell, again animated by DasBoSchitt.
    • The video begins with Cell humming "Escape from the City" to himself before the challengers arrive.
    • Cell defeats Sonic's speed with copious use of the Multi Form Technique and Instant Transmission, making it look like he's fast enough to even sell chili dogs while fighting people.
    • After Cell demonstrates his power by spiking Knuckles into the ground (and in an obvious turn of events), Sonic has little other choice but to use the Chaos Emeralds to go Super... only to end up pulling out nothing.
      Cell: (chuckles) You mean the Chaos Emeralds? (the Emeralds begin to rotate around him, set to Sonic CD's USA Boss music)
      • When Sonic tries to summon the Chaos Emeralds, there's a very faint Legend of Zelda "item acquisition" jingle that peters out when nothing happens.
      • Even funnier (or scarier) with the knowledge that Cell later transforms into Super Perfect Cell...
    • With that, Sonic realizes just how out of his league he is and bolts, leaving Knuckles behind.
      Knuckles: Wait, hold on! You're my ride! Aw, man! (looks up at the Cells and laughs nervously) Sorry, I'm, uh... not as... fast as him. Uh, hang on. (jumps, then glides before sliding along the ground; repeat until he finally leaves) I really... UGH!... wish I could do more than glide...
    • The ending? The start of the infamous Sonic Says PSA regarding sexual harassment. After he casually throws away the Chaos Emeralds.
  • Cell Vs. Kenshiro has the master of Hokuto Shinken briefly battle Perfect Cell.
    • Cell lampshades how Kenshiro is "a man of few words", only to get cut off in the middle of his sentence.
    • Kenshiro's shirt tears off when he flexes, but after Cell explodes the first time, it's magically back on.
      Cell: [watching his shirt rip off] Okay, but why though?
    • Kenshiro manages to use his signature "Hokuto Hyakuretsu Ken" attack on Cell, making Cell explode...only to quickly regenerate himself to express his pain.
      Cell: ARGH! CHRIST! Did anyone ever tell you you're already an asshole?!
    • It turns out that Kenshiro isn't interested in stopping Cell's plans, but rather, he just wanted to eat Cell's "bug meat". When Cell threatens Kenshiro, he explodes a second time.
      Cell: Make it your last meal, because after that, you're dead.
      Kenshiro: No, you are. Already. Again.
      Cell: (yells in pain as he explodes a second time)
    • This observation from the YouTube comments:
      Fun observation: in his past fights, Cell's opponents attempted to win using showy displays of sheer force (Final Flash, Spirit Gun, a children's card game, etc.). While possibly the weakest opponent so far, Kenshiro inflicts actual damage-and pain-by attacking when Cell's guard is down and striking pressure points for maximum effect. In short, Ken proves the most effective fighter in a martial arts anime because he fights like an actual freaking martial artist.
    • There is also Ken's Funny Bruce Lee Noises that end with what the subtitles onomatopoetically expresses as 'Awa-wa-wa-wa-wa' when he finishes his attack.
    • When Cell first explodes, Kenshiro (with his torn clothes regenerated) gets sprayed by all his gore, but is clean in the next shot... only to be sprayed by more gore when Cell explodes again.
    • This particular short has generated the fan theory that, if these shorts are canon, then it's Kenshiro's fault that Goku can't defeat Cell. note 
    • Thus far, Kenshiro, without any magical powers, super modes, ancient artifacts, or demonic energies, is the only person in the Cell Vs. series to defeat Cell. Hell, he's the only one that's made him feel any sort of appreciable pain. Way to go, normal guy.
  • Cell Vs. Light Yagami, A.K.A "Suicidal Overconfidence the Fight."
  • Cell is really losing his patience when Saitama and Genos show up.
    Cell: Oh my-I'm a sundial for pests!...I needed to be specific. I needed to be way more specific with my message.
  • Cell Vs. Ash Ketchum
    • Cell is at his wit's end as Ash and his friends approach, complaining about everyone else who dropped in.
    • Misty proves to be a major Deadpan Snarker here.
      Pokédex: (upon not figuring out who Cell is) Data not found.
      Misty: And technology has failed us again.
      • To add to that, the Pokédex displays a Missingno when failing to scan Cell. Technically he really is a "Missing Number", after all.
    • Cell's silent disgust at Charizard not being a Dragon-type Pokémon.
      • Even funnier since this seems to be implied to be the early Johto team (Squirtle and Charizard are still there, Brock knows what a Steel-type is, etc.), meaning they haven't discovered Mega Evolution, which would have made Charizard part Dragon-type.
    • Cell sends Team Rocket blasting off again before they finish their intro scene. Misty and Brock don't actually care if they're okay.
    • Cell is completely in the dark about Pokémon, wondering what they are and how their name, Pocket Monster, doesn't really make sense as they are on Ash's belt and should therefore be called ball monsters or duel monsters. Which leads to him directly comparing Pokémon to Duel Monsters.
    • At the very end, when Mewtwo flies by:
      Cell: Is that f*cking Freeza?
    • And then there's Ash Ketchum vs Cell. The difference? This one's a bit more... purple.
      • Brock going Super Saiyan. With eight eyes.
    • On that note, what ends up happening to Cell in this version. Ash catches him in a Master Ball but it ends up going to Professor Oak because Ash's party is full. Oak mistakes Cell for Celebi and alters the Master Ball into the infamous GS Ball, leaving it in his storage room, presumably forever.
      Oak: One day. One day... Or not!

    DBZ Abridged - Specials 

     T-shirt Commercials 

    Dragon Ball Kai Abridged 
  • Dragon Ball Kai Abridged, the entirety of season 1 condensed into two minutes and ten seconds of nonstop hilarity.
    Goku: I have a kid.
    Gohan: I'm socially awkward.
    Krillin: He's adorable! [Blasted through a wall by Raditz. The Krillin Owned Count rapidly rises before exploding.]
  • Kai Abridged 2 ramps it up even more, covering the Namek arc.
    • Freeza reads the disclaimer.
      Freeza: This is a parody. Buy the fucking show!
    • Freeza's introduction:
      Freeza: Hello, I'm Space Napolehitler. Give me the thing.
      Mouri: No!
      Freeza: Give me the thing!
      Mouri: No!
      Freeza: Kill his kid! (Kid dies with a Wilhelm Scream) Give me the thing.
      Mouri: Here.
      Freeza: Kill him!
      Mouri: But the thing! (Neck Snap)
    • Instead of Freeza or Dodoria in the shower, the Solar Flare gag instead has Lanipator dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter at TFS' first 18+ panel at Youmacon.
    • Vegeta's infamous scream is so powerful this time that it crashes the Adobe Flash plugin. And then he smashes through it.
      • Prior to this, Vegeta's continuous maniacal laughter as he breaks out of Freeza's ship, steals Freeza's Dragon Balls as he leaves, kills Zarbon, and takes the Dragon Ball the good guys had. With what is most likely music from Jonny Quest in the background.
      • Second place goes to Krillin, which manages to keep his scream going for the entire time Vegeta is at their cave.
        Krillin: AAAAAHHHHHHH-No seriously though. Where's Gohan?
    • Vegeta: Hey guys, you remind me of some assholes I'm about to kill!
    • Goku's arrival takes out the Ginyu Force in a massive explosion. Unfortunately, his ship crashing on top of them also took him out of commission - what're the odds?
      Vegeta: Put him in... (turns head) THE POD.
      (cue zoom in as a dramatic musical sting plays before the scene abruptly cuts to Goku inside of the pod)
      Goku: (thinking) I wonder if this'll become a trend.
    • When Porunga is summoned:
      Gohan: So, what are we—
      Krillin: Bring Piccolo back!
      Piccolo: Yeah!
      Krillin: Now bring him to Namek!
      Piccolo: NOOOOO(POW! POW!)OOOOOOO!
    • Vegeta threatens to kill Dende's parents if he's not made immortal.
    Dende: Joke's on you.
    • Porunga dies right before Vegeta can get his immortality.
      Vegeta: …wait am I immortal?
      Freeza: I don't know! Let's see…
      Krillin: Oh ho ho, he's pissed!
    • Goku and Vegeta when grabbed by Freeza:
      Goku and Vegeta: No, Freeza-dono, yamete!
    • And what follows...
    Freeza: I'm sorry, what was that?
    Vegeta: *wheezed* I'm a Super Saiya*CRACK* *WUNCH*
    Freeza: Couldn't quite make that out?
    Vegeta: I'MMA SUPER SAI—*More beatings, Goku arrives*
    Goku: Let that Vegeta alone!
    Freeza: What the hell is this?
    Vegeta: He's a Super Saiya— *Death Beam*
    • Another reference to the infamous Big Green dub.
      Goku: Hey, let that Vegeta alone!
    • When Goku starts charging the Spirit Bomb:
      Freeza: Stop it.
      Goku: No.
      Freeza: Stop it.
      Goku: NNNO.
      Freeza: STOP. IT.
      Goku: (blows raspberry)
      Freeza: That's it, stoppin' it myself. (Goku throws the Spirit Bomb) What the—
      Unreal Tournament Announcer: DOMINATING!
      Freeza: Eep.
    • After the spirit bomb.
      Gohan: We did it, dad!
      Goku: And we didn't even lose Krill— **Krillin explodes** aw swizzlesticks.
    • Piccolo gets shot by Freeza ("Agh, right in the tit!"), leaving Gohan to say Piccolo's line instead.
      Gohan: Piccolo… Why… didn't… you… DOOOOODGE?!
      • In the Episode Breakdown, KaiserNeko refers to the line as "the biggest missed opportunity in the entire series".
    • The running gag of referring to the Dragonballs as "things". Which may or may not be a reference to Krillin's off-hand comment about Freeza's metaphor about Old Space Yeller.
    Krillin: How is that a thing?!
    • The title for the episode is DragonThing Z Kai: Episode 2.
    Freeza: How!?
    (Freeza's dismembered body lands on the ground)
    Goku: …Soooo, which way's your ship?
    (Freeza's severed left arm lands next to him, pointing)
    Freeza: (weakly) That… way.
    • The ending in which Goku uses the Muffin Button so much, he turns Namek into a giant muffin.
      Goku: (Giggles) Yay!
    • Dodoria's death scene.
      Vegeta: 'Sup, Chubs McKenzey, any last words before I kill you?
      Dodoria: I have a THICK. MEATY. VAGINA. (She's blasted by Vegeta, who begins to gag.)
    • Cui's appearence.
      Vegeta: I'm on Namek now!
      Cui: Hi, Vegeta.
      Vegeta: Hi, Cui. (blasts him) Bye, Cui.
      • As a bonus, Krillin can still be heard in the background, screaming "We're all gonna diiiiie!"
    • Dende getting a Borderlands-style intro screen which says "Little Green: White Mage", and then saying "My parents are dead!"
      • Said intro screen also had The Heavy's "Short Change Hero" playing in the background.
      • With a few exceptions, all of his lines being, "Hey" in the same tone of voice, with half-lidded eyes. Usually directed at Gohan.
    • Goku turning Super Sayian:
      Goku: This! Ruffles! My! Jammies! AAAAAAAH— (Turns Super Sayian with the rib-crushing squeak)
    • The Reveal that Nappa had watched the whole thing.
      Nappa: Aaaaaaand unsubscribed.
    • Zarbon says only two things - rather effeminate "mmm" sounds, and this:
      Vegeta: Hey, it's the gay one.
      Zarbon: Maybe I'm gay. Or maybe stereotypes are bullshit. MMM. (Transforms) PUSSY!
      Vegeta: OH NO. (Gets his ass kicked)
    • After Freeza lost his chance at immortality thanks to Dende.
      Freeza: You **Bark**ed me. You **Chicken sound**ed me you monkey **Monkey sound**ck!
      Goku: Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.
    • Their summary of King Kai's part in the Namek Saga:
    Yamcha: Hey King Kai, can you teach us the—
    King Kai: NO!
    • When Dende brings back Piccolo on Earth:
    Piccolo: Welp, I'm confused.
    Gohan: It looks like the dragon brought every person on Namek to Earth!
    Piccolo: ALL OF THEM?!
    • Since there was a secret backwards message in the special, some kind soul decided to post a reversed version of the entire episode. Besides being able to hear the backwards message, you also get to see Freeza knit his body back together, Goku squeaking as he goes from Super Saiyan to regular Saiyan and then he starts screaming, and Vegeta's Evil Laugh, only it sounds like he's barking.
      • Plus, amidst the babble that is backwards-speaking, some words can still be made out, and are hilariously appropriate for the situation. Examples include Goku talking to Freeza and apparently calling him a "wwuuuusss", while Guru re-appears from the dead with a "yeees?", and Gohan meowing shortly after (before?) Piccolo dies.
    • In a meta-sense, consider that, despite cutting out the entire Ginyu Force sub-arc, this episode is twice as long as the previous Kai while going at the same pace. That is how long the Namek arc takes.

    Dragon Ball Super Abridged shorts 
  • The team has done a few minis based on Dragon Ball Super: Wannabe, Black to the Future, Deadly in Pink, and Burning Blue.
  • Vegeta's reaction to Trunks' new blue hair.
    Vegeta: You think you're f—king smart?! I've become Super Saiyan Blue and you just dye your goddamn hair?! I'LL SLAP YOUR SHIT, BOY!
  • The entire conversation between Goku and Black Goku:
    Black Goku: You're good Goku. And I'm Black Goku. Goody-goody two shoes. Goody-goody two—
    Goku: You're not black.
    Black Goku: *Confused* Huh?
    Goku: You're, like, white. Or Asian. Or whatever we are, I dunno.
    Black Goku: You're taking it too literally. Or not literally enough?
    Goku: I'm just saying, I expected Black Goku. [image of a dark-skinned Black Goku with an afro] And what I got was Dark Goku. Nega Goku. Ukog.
    Black Goku: You done?
    Goku: Goku is the new black. *Gets punched in the stomach*note 
  • When Goku Black stabs Vegeta:
    Vegeta: HOW?! How are you so much more powerful than me?!
    Goku Black: Because Vegeta, "A rose by any other name...
    [Vegeta is stabbed]
    Goku Black: is still Goku."
    [Vegeta falls]
    Goku: Huh, different timeline, same result, eh best buddy?
    Vegeta: Fu—*blood spurts from stab wound*—ck you!!
    * What makes this even better is that the above was a Romeo and Juliet reference. Which means that Zamasu hates humans but enjoys their literature.
  • Finale to the Zamasu fight + G Gundam. It fits a little too well…
    Trunks: The future… the future is burning blue! THIS SWORD OF MINE BURNS WITH AN AWESOME POWER!!
  • Goku and Vegeta receive "Fight Counseling" from Whis. It's played like marriage counseling and it is HILARIOUS.
    • as a commenter put it:
      Timothy Davis: I don't know what's more ridiculous, the fact that Goku's a worse husband to Vegata than he is to Chichi, or that he's more willing to go to counseling with him than he is with Chichi.
    • Goku hiring Hit to kill him being played like a man meeting another woman.
  • "Pineapple Pizza": Goku, Beerus, and Whis talking pizza. Turns out Beerus isn't fond of the concept of pineapple on pizza.
    Beerus: Why would you put sweet and juicy fruit on top of a salty, delicious pizza?
    Whis: Well to be fair, Lord Beerus, tomato is a fruit.
    Beerus: Don't you play Dabura's advocate here, Whis! Lest you suggest we start filling cal-zones with raspberry jam.
    Goku: That sounds delicious.
    Beerus: Of course you'd say that! I'm an epicurean. You wolf down Big Macs like Tic Tacs!
    • Beerus is so offended by the concept of putting pineapple on pizza that he briefly insinuates that Zamasu was in the right for wanting to kill mortals. Only mortals would do something like that.
    • Goku suggests switching to burgers, then wants grilled pineapple on his.
      [Beerus screams; Earth is blown up]
      Beerus: Ah, damnit, I want a fajita plate now. Whis, rewind.

    Episode Breakdowns 
  • In the Breakdown for Episode 40, KaiserNeko reveals a cut scene where Krillin has a cocker spaniel's head for his reply to the "cocker spaniel" line.
  • KaiserNeko's reasoning in the Breakdown for Episode 44 why one of the football players has a censored head:
    KaiserNeko: If I remove the mosaic, my video gets taken down for obscene content.
  • In the Breakdown for Episode 45, Kaiser accidentally gives Mr. Popo Blank White Eyes and starts screaming at the sheer creepiness of it.
    Kaiser: In this shot, I posted a shot of Gokū from an earlier scene. And moved Mr. Popo's eyes, making a separate laye—
    (Popo's pupils disappear)
    (Scene shifts to Kaiser speaking normally about another scene)
  • KaiserNeko's breakdown during the… episode breakdown for Cooler 2 about how the movie has so many plotholes and inconsistencies with the canon, as well as horrible artwork and inconsistent key frame animation, leads him to repeatedly state, "F*ck this movie!"
    • And at the end, he starts gushing at The World's Strongest, and mentions wanting to abridge that as well.
      • A little soapbox appears during his rant
    • Arguably the funniest use of the phrase came in the opening, with him saying, "Fuck this movie" over and over, each time punctuated by a particularly Off Model screencap.
  • His reason for Freeza flipping the bird in DBZ Kai Abridged Episode 2
    I did this because I'm twelve years old…
  • According to the History of Trunks Breakdown, the team was that close to actually having Gohan accept Bulma's proposition. And they recorded the lines anyway. Seems Saiyans have similar sex habits. note 
    Future Bulma: Right there, yes, yes, YES--
    Future Gohan: *grunting* MASENKO… HAA!!!
    (laser beam pierces the roof)
    • This is also preceded by his using a bit of quote mining.
      KaiserNeko: You know that scene where Bulma propositions Gohan for his, uh…
      Gohan: Mister Gohan would!
    • Also from the History of Trunks Breakdown, KaiserNeko wonders why he decided to edit out Yamcha out of both his scenes. And at the moment where he remembers why he did such edits:
    KaiserNeko: (has seen the corpse of Yamcha hanging on the ceiling) Oh… Oh, right… b-because in this timeline… huh…
    • Again from the History of Trunks Breakdown, KaiserNeko's, uh, increasingly hysterical reactions to the length of the breakdown.
    • Kaiser letting us know that the moaning sound in TJ and The Wombat's scene was created by the same actress that voiced 18… then doing a montage of clips of 18 making that sound.
  • Episode 48 Breakdown: "Hey look! It's the KOC!"note 
  • Episode 50 Breakdown: Kaiser, continuing the joke of Cell's ass talking which he found hilarious, decides to give him a new line. And him switching to the next scene of Tien with a sweatdrop on his face may or may not have been intentional since you can still hear Cell scatting.
    Skabadebaldbabababababab *suddenly switches to imperfect Cell's voice* I'm a scatman! Skobedelapabababa.
    • Early in the breakdown, Kaiser is completely flabbergasted when he realizes that the series has been going on for seven years.
      • After listing all their creations over that time period with a title card for each flashing, Kaiser pauses to take a breath. At the same time a title card for Attack on Titan flashes briefly with a note that it is cancelled and never coming back.
  • The Super Android 13 Abridged breakdown has a quick bonus as Kaiser talks about an animation error concerning Trunks's nose. If you look closely at the left side of the screen you can see the image name pop up as "Fix That Fucking Nose.png".
  • In the breakdown for Episode 52, KaiserNeko accidentally mispronounces Goku's name as “Cuckoo” at one point. This mistake is amusing when considering the fact that the previous breakdown began with him talking about some people getting upset over how he usually insists on pronouncing the name as “Son Gokū”note  because it's more accurate to the original Japanese.

Alternative Title(s): Dragon Ball Abridged