Funny: Dragon Ball Z Abridged

aka: Dragon Ball Abridged
Funny moments from DBZ Abridged. WARNING: You might be here a while.

Moments from Two Saiyans Play can be found here.

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    DBZ Abridged - Episodes - Other 
  • This is the best song ever.
  • Nappa's year-long Are We There Yet?, which at first seems to come to a rather anticlimactic end ("Yay!") only to be brought back in a wonderfully unexpected way: "Is he here yet?"
  • They turned Recoome into The Rock.
  • And then there's this:
    Gohan: I swear, I don't even know what's going on anymore.
  • Guru has two words for everyone.
    Guru: Drop it!
  • In their trailer for Dragonball Z Battle Of Gods, they pose the question of whether or not they will abridge it. No. No they won't. After citing the many characters that the abridged series hasn't gotten anywhere near (the entire Buu saga), they add that Toei would probably kill them.
    • However, maybe they can do the Hatchiyack special.

    DBZ Abridged - Specials 
  • Subscriber Special: After hearing there were at least 9k subscribers, the usual question was asked, however, this happens..
    Nappa: You mean
    Vegeta: It's....
    Nappa: It's(getting excited)
    Vegeta: It's over...
    Nappa: It's over? (really excited)
    Vegeta: It's over 8000
    Nappa: What 8..(gets confused), wait what? You didn't do it right.
    Vegeta: Yes I did, Nappa. Yes I did.note 
  • The Halloween Special:
    Professor: Well, what's your costume?
    Popo: Oh, I'm not in costume. Yet. Hold on. [cut to clip of the Cloverfield monster, with Popo's maniacal laughter]
    • From the same special Nappa's costume:
    Nappa [Dressed as Broly]: I'm Vic Mignogna! Ahh my poor vocal cords!
  • Four Words: Banana on a tricycle unicycle.
    • Heck, the entire FAQ is one big CMOF.
    • The obnoxious salaryman... er, fan. That is all.
      Obnoxious Fan: Can I be Cutter?
      Vegeta: No! Wait... who the hell is Cutter?
      Obnoxious Fan: You guys suck! I'm going to go complain on my LiveJournal page.
      Vegeta: Yes, I'm sure your mother reads it religiously.
    • Also-
      Obnoxious Fan: Can I be Oozaru?
      Vegeta: I DON'T KNOW! LET'S ASK HIM!
      Oozaru: ROAR! (Fires blast of energy from his mouth at the Obnoxious Fan.)
      Obnoxious Fan: Owww!
    • Finally, he wants to be Vegeta, so Vegeta finally humors him, and he emulates Brian Drummond of Ocean Group.
      Obnoxious Fan: Ahem... Let's see what you've got, Kakarot! Galick Gun FIRE!!!
      Vegeta: Oh, GO F*CK YOURSELF!
    • Nappa answering the question of who writes and edits the show.
      Nappa: Well, it's edited by the Tiger Kitty!
      Vegeta: Kaiser Neko, Nappa!
      Nappa: Kaiser Cat!
      Vegeta: Neko!
      Nappa: Meow! (pair of cat ears pops up on his head)
  • There's also the second FAQ special. Yamcha tries to answer a question, and is blown up by a saibaman.
  • The Blooper Reels.
    • Krillin may be motivated with the spirit bomb on the outside, but on the inside...
  • The AWA special:
    Nappa: Hey. Vegeta. Check out that cosplayer over there. They're hot!
    Vegeta: Goddamnit Nappa, stop breaking the fourth... whoa, wow, she is hot.
    Nappa: I'm talking about that guy over there! The L cosplayer!
    Vegeta: Nappa, that's just a guy in a white sweatshirt.
    Nappa: Yeah, like I said. L.
    Vegeta: Are you telling me that counts as a cosplay?
    Nappa: Yep!
    Vegeta: F***ing cop-out.
    • Later:
    Nappa: Does this mean we've offended everyone?
    Vegeta: One second let me think... Dragonball the Movie.
    Nappa: (laughs) Ah, high school.
  • In the middle of the Conneticon 2011 announcement.
    Announcer: ...wait a minute, this is missing something. Hey Nappa, say something funny.
    Nappa: My parents died in a tragic space accident when I was only a child. That's why I can never grow up.
    Announcer: Ha ha, oh Nappa.
  • Nappa and the other bald characters' parody of Lady Gaga's Born This Way.
    • After the music stops, some of the reactions are priceless:
      Nappa: Tien, what are you doing?! That was your line!
      Tien: Yeah, I'm not doing it.
      Nappa: I thought we talked about this.
      Tien: Yeah. You talked. I said no.
      Nappa: Look. It took a long time to put this together. Piccolo's in the outfit!
      Piccolo: (covered in plush Yoshis) I'm in the outfit.
      Tien: That's because you have no friends.
      Piccolo: (stops smiling and sobs offscreen)
      Nappa: What the f***, Tien?
      Krillin: Oh, geez!
      Tien: I am. NOT. DOING. YOUR STUPID. SONG. PARODY.
      Nappa: Why?!
      Tien: F*** you, that's why.
  • Dragon Ball Kai Abridged, the entirety of season 1 condensed into two minutes and ten seconds of nonstop hilarity.
    Goku: I have a kid.
    Gohan: I'm socially awkward.
    Krillin: He's adorable! [Blasted through a wall by Raditz. The Krillin Owned Count rapidly rises before exploding.]
  • Kai Abridged 2 ramps it up even more, covering the Namek arc.
    • Freeza reads the disclaimer.
      Freeza: This is a parody. Buy the fucking show!
    • Freeza's introduction:
      Freeza: Hello, I'm Space Napolehitler. Give me the thing.
      Mouri: No!
      Freeza: Give me the thing!
      Mouri: No!
      Freeza: Kill his kid! (Kid dies with a Wilhelm Scream) Give me the thing.
      Mouri: Here.
      Freeza: Kill him!
      Mouri: But the thing! (Neck Snap)
    • Instead of Freeza or Dodoria in the shower, the Solar Flare gag instead has Lanipator dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter at TFS' first 18+ panel at Youmacon.
    • Vegeta's infamous scream is so powerful this time that it crashes the Adobe Flash plugin. And then he smashes through it.
      • Prior to this, Vegeta's continuous maniacal laughter as he breaks out of Freeza's ship, steals Freeza's Dragon Balls as he leaves, kills Zarbon, and takes the Dragon Ball the good guys had. With what I'm pretty sure is music from Johnny Quest as the background music.
      • Second place goes to Krillin, which manages to keep his scream going for the entire time Vegeta is at their cave.
        Krillin: AAAAAHHHHHHH-No seriously though. Where's Gohan?
    • Vegeta: Hey guys, you remind of some assholes I'm about to kill!
    • Goku's arrival takes out the Ginyu Force in a massive explosion. Unfortunately, his ship crashing on top of them also took him out of commission - what're the odds?
      Vegeta: Put him in... (turns head) THE POD.
      (cue zoom in as a dramatic musical sting plays before the scene abruptly cuts to Goku inside of the pod)
      Goku: (thinking) I wonder if this'll become a trend.
    • When Porunga is summoned:
      Gohan: So, what are we—
      Krillin: Bring Piccolo back!
      Piccolo: Yeah!
      Krillin: Now bring him to Namek!
      Piccolo: NOOOOO(POW! POW!)OOOOOOO!
    • Vegeta threatens to kill Dende's parents if he's not made immortal.
    Dende: Joke's on you.
    • Porunga dies right before Vegeta can get his immortality.
      Vegeta:...wait am I immortal?
      Freeza: I don't know! Let's see...
    • Goku and Vegeta when grabbed by Freeza:
      Goku and Vegeta: No, Freeza-dono, yamete!
    • And what follows...
    Freeza: I'm sorry, what was that?
    Vegeta: *wheezed* I'm a Super Saiya*CRACK* *WUNCH*
    Freeza: Couldn't quite make that out?
    Vegeta: I'MMA SUPER SAI—*More beatings, Goku arrives*
    Goku: Leave that Vegeta alone!
    Freeza: What the hell is this?
    Vegeta: He's a super saiya— *Death Beam*
    • Another reference to the infamous Big Green dub.
      Goku: Hey, let that Vegeta alone!
    • When Goku starts charging the Spirit Bomb:
      Freeza: Stop it.
      Goku: No.
      Freeza: Stop it.
      Goku: NNNO.
      Freeza: STOP. IT.
      Goku: (blows raspberry)
      Freeza: That's it, stoppin' it myself. (Goku throws the Spirit Bomb) What the-
      Unreal Tournament Announcer: DOMINATING!
      Freeza: Eep.
    • After the spirit bomb.
      Gohan: We did it, dad!
      Goku: And we didn't even lose Krill... **Krillin explodes** aw swizzlesticks.
    • Piccolo gets shot by Freeza ("Agh, right in the tit!"), leaving Gohan to say Piccolo's line instead.
      Gohan: Piccolo... Why... didn't... you... DOOOOODGE?!
      • In the Episode Breakdown, Kaiser Neko refers to the line as "the biggest missed opportunity in the entire series".
    • The running gag of referring to the Dragonballs as "things". Which may or may not be a reference to Krillin's off-hand comment about Freeza's metaphor about Old Space Yeller.
    Krillin: How is that a thing?!
    Freeza: How!?
    (Freeza's dismembered body lands on the ground)
    Goku: ...Soooo, which way's your ship?
    (Freeza's severed left arm lands next to him, pointing)
    Freeza: (weakly) That... way.
    • The ending in which Goku uses the Muffin Button so much, he turns Namek into a giant muffin.
      Goku: (Giggles) Yay!
    • Dodoria's death scene.
      Vegeta: 'Sup, Chubs McKenzey, any last words before I kill you?
      Dodoria: I have a THICK. MEATY. VAGINA. (She's blasted by Vegeta, who begins to gag.)
    • Cui's appearence.
      Vegeta: I'm on Namek now!
      Cui: Hi, Vegeta.
      Vegeta: Hi, Cui. (blasts him) Bye, Cui.
    • Dende getting a Borderlands-style intro screen which says "Little Green: White Mage", and then saying "My parents are dead!"
    • Goku turning Super Sayian:
      Goku: This! Ruffles! My! Jimmies! AAAAAAAH— (Turns Super Sayian with the rib-crushing squeak)
    • The Reveal that Nappa had watched the whole thing.
      Nappa: Aaaaaaand unsubscribed.
    • Zarbon says only two things - rather effeminate "mmm" sounds, and this:
      Vegeta: Hey, it's the gay one.
      Zarbon: Maybe I'm gay. Or maybe stereotypes are bullshit. MMM. (Transforms) PUSSY!
      Vegeta: OH NO. (Gets his ass kicked)
    • After Freeza lost his chance at immortality thanks to Dende.
      Freeza: You **Bark**ed me. You **Chicken sound**ed me you monkey **Monkey sound**ck!
      Goku: Well I'll be a monkey's uncle.
    • Their summary of King Kai's part in the Namek Saga:
    Yamcha: Hey King Kai, can you teach us the—
    King Kai: NO!
    • When Dende brings back Piccolo on Earth:
    Piccolo:' Welp, I'm confused.
    Gohan: It looks like the dragon brought every person on Namek to Earth!
    Piccolo: ALL OF THEM?!
    • Since there was a secret backwards message in the special, some kind soul decided to post a reversed version of the entire episode. Besides being able to hear the backwards message, you also get to see Freeza knit his body back together, Goku squeaking as he goes from Super Saiyan to regular Saiyan and then he starts screaming, and Vegeta's Evil Laugh, only it sounds like he's barking.
    • In a meta-sense, consider that this episode is twice as long as the previous Kai while going at the same pace. That is how long the Namek arc takes.
  • The Anime Evolution 2010 promo;
    Guru: Nail... Naaaaaail!
    Nail: What is it, Lord Guru?
    Guru: Do you know what I love about Canada?
    Nail: ...Sir, there's nothing to love about Canada.
    Guru: Nail...
    Nail: No, seriously, it's the only place more boring than here-
    Guru: Nail! None of that.
    Nail: (Sighs) What is that you love about Canada, sir?
    Guru: I love... their moose!
    Moose: Hurr!
    Nail: (Makes a surprised yelp)
  • Ladies and gentlemen. I present to you: "Captain Ginyu Style!"
  • The video advertising upcoming episodes and new T-Shirts is hilarious with Nappa and Vegeta arguing over doing the commercial (Nappa wants him to do it, Vegeta doesn't). But, the real icing on the cake of hilarity is Vegeta VS Alucard at the end.
  • Takahata101 attending a Dragon Ball Kai panel at Sakura-Con:
    Takahata: Dragon Ball Kai is Dragon Ball Z essentially, right?
    Chris Sabat: You could say that.
    Takahata: It's shortened, correct?
    Chris Sabat: Right.
    Takahata: It's redubbed, right?
    Chris Sabat: In a way, yes.
    Takahata: It's partially rewritten, correct?
    Chris Sabat: It is completely rewritten, yes.
    Takahata (Nappa voice): Way to be four years late to that party!
  • The alternate takes of Krillin's death at the hands of Freeza.
    Krillin: YOLO! (boom)
    Krillin: Someone set me up the bomb! (boom)
    Krillin: I've heard of an explosive temper, but this is ridiculou-(boom)
    Krillin: Hey, guys! Look! It's my Chiaotzu impression! Goodbye, Tie-(boom)
  • The alternate take from episode 30's ending.
    Dr Briefs: Finally, we're rid of all those dang yo-
    Bulma: DAD!!!
    Dr Briefs: I was gonna say Namekians...
    Bulma: **Beat** ...No you weren't.
    Dr Briefs: No I wasn't. **He was about to say Yoshi.**
  • The alternate take of Goku escaping Namek. He presses the muffin button, but gets a cookie instead. The result is a Big "NO!" as the planet explodes.
  • The alternate take of Yamcha's suicide. The rope he hung himself with? It was Puar using his shape-shifting.
  • A deleted scene from episode 43, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea tries to save the day with their military. Keyword being tries. Their missiles launched and... proceeded to all malfunction at the same time and fall back down, causing the PRK army to run in the name of the glorious People's Republic.
    • Cue jokes from from the fandom that North Korea's weapons are so out of date that this is exactly what would happen in real life.
  • The deleted scene from Episode 44 had Yamcha take the Idiot Ball in full by saying that, yes, Goku and Gohan both would go fight the evil, killer androids in the presence of resident Mama Bear Chi-Chi. Oolong tries to get him to stop.
    Oolong: Yamcha, as the man-pig that's known you longer than everyone else in this room... shut up!!
    • There's also Gohan's reply to Chi-Chi telling him that they're not going to fight the androids, but instead go back to living their nice and peaceful life while Gohan becomes a doctor/lawyer/scientist.
  • Celloween: Krillin using the false ultimate attack, SOLAR FLARE.
    Kid: We on a plane, mama.
    Krillin: *Smiling, then realizes, thinking* Wait, that's not my ultimate attack, I thought the Kienz...AH GODDAMMIT EVERY TIME.
    • And the ending, it turns out to be a dream, and guess who is at Kame HouseNote .
    Krillin: Oh man, I had the craziest dream! Cell was there!
    Piccolo: Well the androids are here! *points towards 16, 17, and 18*
    17: Yo.
    *Krillin lets out a terrified scream*
    • Made funnier in Episode 45 where it turns out the dream is influenced by the news that Piccolo was watching while the others were sleeping. Krillin even murmurs some of his dialogue from the short in his sleep.
  • I AM THE HYPE And So Can You! is full of them despite being a shirt commercial. But what else could you expect from a commercial starring Vegeta and Alucard?
    Vegeta: Also, where the hell's the producer?
    Alucard: Oh, he says he's got a "Full Day".
    Nappa: Welp, this coke won't snort itself! (Snorting noises)
    • Vegeta's worry over the line "When you wish upon a star" being owned by Disney and Alucard's response.
    Alucard: Nope! Totes public domain! Trust me, even I don't have the patience for Disney lawyers.
    Eren: Alright guys I'm here! And I'm ready to record for shirts!
    Vegeta: Oh... Shit.
    Alucard: (Panicking) Get out of here! YOU DON'T EXIST!
    Eren: Wha-
    Alucard: YOU DON'T EXIS- (static followed by a broadcast error screen that says "VIDEO PULLED BY JAPANESE COPYRIGHT OWNERS".)
    • In the background a picture can be seen that reads "WEN BROLI"
    • The Stinger: Armin joins Nappa in the coke-snorting.

    Episode Breakdowns 
  • In the Breakdown for Episode 40, KaiserNeko reveals a cut scene where Krillin has a cocker spaniel's head for his reply to the "cocker spaniel" line.
  • KaiserNeko's reasoning in the Breakdown for Episode 44 why one of the football players has a censored head:
    KaiserNeko: If I remove the mosaic, my video gets taken down for obscene content.
  • In the Breakdown for Episode 45, Kaiser accidentally gives Mr. Popo Blank White Eyes and starts screaming at the sheer creepiness of it.
    Kaiser: In this shot, I posted a shot of Goku from an earlier scene. And moved Mr. Popo's eyes, making a separate laye—
    (Popo's pupils disappear)
    Kaiser: OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! THAT IS SO MUCH WORSE! THAT IS SO MUCH WORS—
    (Scene shifts to Kaiser speaking normally about another scene)
  • KaiserNeko's breakdown during the... episode breakdown for Cooler's Revenge about how the movie has so many plotholes and inconsistencies with the canon, as well as horrible artwork and inconsistent key frame animation, leads him to repeatedly state "F*ck this movie!"
    • And at the end, he starts gushing at The World's Strongest, and mentions wanting to abridge that as well.
      • A little soapbox appears during his rant
    • Arguably the funniest use of the phrase came in the opening, with him saying "Fuck this movie" over and over, each time punctuated by a particularly Off Model screencap.
  • His reason for Freeza flipping the bird in DBZ Kai Abridged Episode 2
    '''I did this because I'm twelve years old...
  • According to the History of Trunks Breakdown, the team was that close to actually having Gohan accept Bulma's proposition. And they recorded the lines anyway. Seems Saiyans have similar sex habits. note 
    Future Bulma: Right there, yes, yes, YES—
    Future Gohan: *grunting* MASENKO... HAA!!!
    *laser beam pierces the roof*
    • Also from the History of Trunks Breakdown, KaiserNeko wonders why he decided to edit out Yamcha out of both his scenes. And at the moment where he remembers why he did such edits:
    KaiserNeko: (has seen the corpse of Yamcha hanging on the ceiling) Oh... Oh, right... b-because in this timeline... huh...
    • Again from the History of Trunks Breakdown, KaiserNeko's, uh, increasingly hysterical reactions to the length of the breakdown.
    • Kaiser letting us know that the moaning sound in TJ and The Wombat's scene was created by the same actress that voiced 18.....then doing a montage of clips of 18 making that sound.
  • Episode 48 Breakdown: "Hey look! It's the KOC!"note 

Alternative Title(s):

Dragon Ball Abridged