Funny: Dragnet

Original Radio & TV Series

  • The constant ribbing they take in the Ginger episode-other guys keep sending dog food and chew bones to Friday and Gannon. And Friday's exchange with the officer who hasn't entered into evidence the pot in his pocket yet and Ginger grabs it.
  • The end of the purse-snatching dog ep and the policewoman saying she has to break the dog from grabbing her purse.

  • The interrogation. Put simply, it's between Pep Streebeck, Emil Muzz, Emil Muzz's balls... and repeated slamming of a desk drawer.
  • When the duo get assigned a Yugo as their official car, which Friday describes as the only car the department was willing to release to them after losing their two previous vehicles to theft and explosion and "reflecting the cutting edge of Serbo-Croatian technology."
    • Later, when trying to deduce Friday and The Virgin Connie Swail's whereabouts, Streebek briefly considers the idea of them having sex in said Yugo, before eventually declaring it to be impossible, complete with using hand motions to try and work out the logistics.
  • The punchline at the very end, which was being built up over half the film. You know what I'm talking about.
    • Da-da-DUN-dun!
  • "Oh thank God, vibrator repair!"
  • The amazing Brick Joke about Sylvia Wyss. During the opening, the narrator informs us Sylvia Wyss is in fact a man, his name and appearance having been changed "to protect the innocent". So when Sylvia bares her chest at Friday...
    Wyss: "Tell me, Detective: Do these look like the breasts of a 43-year-old woman?"
    Friday: "No, ma'am. They're actually quite lovely... bordering on spectacular."
  • Streebek trying to talk Friday out of eating his chili dogs.
    Streebek: You know the kinds of things that can fall into an industrial sausage press, not excluding rodent hairs and bug excrement?
    Friday: (Beat) I hate you, Streebek.
  • Friday's encounter with the street thugs:
    Friday: Are you threatening me, son?
    • And on a school night, too.
  • Friday lecturing Streebek after they accidentally bust an ordinary, law-abiding business...actually a decoy for a P.A.G.A.N. establishment.
    Friday: Just like the sign said on the building before you obliterated it! Fresh, wholesome milk!
    Streebek: You probably love this stuff, don't you?
    Friday: Vitamin D, calcium, essential for good, strong bones and healthy teeth...but I'll bet that's all Greek to you, Mr. Gingivitis!"
  • Enid Borden's filthy, filthy mouth.
  • Friday and Streebek find a lion's mane was butchered to the point the lion literally has a mohawk.
    Friday: Somebody must have wanted that lion's mane pretty bad to pull a twisted stunt like this.
    Streebek: Although, as mohawks go, it's not that bad. It'll grow back.
    Friday: Yeah? And how do you explain this to all these kids who have never seen a lion before, and now probably will never want to see one again?
    Streebek: Kids? It'll grow back.
  • Pep singing holiday carols in utter panic when told to "think of Christmas" while Joe Drives Like Crazy to rescue Connie.
    Streebek:"Good King Wenceslas went to town, on the feast of Stephen/When the snow lay round about..."
    Friday: "Deep and crisp and ee-ven!"
    Streebek: "Brightly shone the Moon that night, though the frost was cru-el/When and old man came in sight, gather—"
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