Funny: Down Periscope

  • The first scene.
    "Fire one!"
    *whacks a golf ball off the submarine deck and onto the nearby putting green*
  • "Great. We just chased down a boatload of beered-up fishermen."
  • Nitro singing along with a Frank Sinatra song while working on the radio, while Sonar watches him in bewilderment. One shock later, and he's switched to repeating a baseball game's commentator.
    Dodge: "That boy's absorbed a lot of voltage."
  • Sonar's faking a whale song to trick the Orlando into thinking they had detected whales, not the Stingray.
    • And, immediately beforehand, Dodge attempting to silently instruct him to do that very thing, mostly by way of mime - to Sonar's considerable confusion. And then Nitro joins in, with no indication that he has any clue what Dodge is actually trying to say...
  • Pascal walking the plank.
  • Lt. Lake's Moment of Awesome: "Balls to the wall, boys!"
  • Jackson: Be all that you can be!
    Dodge: That's the Army song, Jackson!
  • "Sounded like... an explosion."
    • Followed by the crew of the Stingray trying desperately to avoid making a noise as they struggle to deal with the sudden influx of methane into the ship's air supply...
      Jackson: (in a choked whisper) "Somebody needs to sew his damn ass shut!"
    • Once the crisis has passed, among the orders Dodge issues:
      Dodge: Someone find Buckman and launch him out a torpedo tube.
  • Before the start of the ending credits, the crew of the Stingray act in a video of Village People's "In The Navy". While the scenario as a whole is somewhat silly, the various expressions on their faces knocks it out of the park, so to speak.
  • Admiral Winslow's response to Dodge's initial lack of enthusiasm for the wargame and his gloomy prediction that he's going to get his ass kicked:
    Winslow: Damn it to hell, don't go by the book, think like a pirate! I want a man with a tattoo on his dick! Have I got the right man?
    Dodge: [wryly] By some strange coincidence, you do, sir.
    • Just the line by Graham itself revealing the tattoo:
      Graham: Now call me a prude, but I don't think it's a good reflection of Navy policy to hand over a billion dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome aboard!" tattooed on his penis!
  • In the beginning, when Dodge has been told by his CO that he's been given his own sub to command;
    Dodge: That's not funny.
    Knox: I know, that's why they decoded it twice.
  • Captain Knox handing cash over to his new first officer after Dodge wins the war game. The XO bet against his own crew.