Funny / Don Juan DeMarco

  • DR. MICKLER: (irritated about JOHN being assigned to another therapist) "This kid is gonna do a flamenco number on Billís head, until it looks like a tortilla. And itís gonna be on your watch." (Cut To: JOHN performing a flamenco dance in the middle of BILL's office.)
  • John finds an abundance of erotic imagery in an ordinary Rorschach ink blot. Dr. Mickler glances at the next blot- which really does look suggestive- and announces, "Let's move on."
  • Young Nurse Gloria escorts Don Juan to Dr. Mickler's office for his therapy session, and is in no hurry to leave. "I can return, um, at the end of the hour and see him back. Itís really no trouble- Iíll be passing by this door in exactly one hour, right on the nose! I have a break coming upÖ" Mickler finally cuts her off by closing the door in her face. "What are you doing to these girls?"
  • Mickler's supervisor complains about the effect John is having on the female staff. "Officially, in his hacienda, there are more nurses on valium than patients." Mickler tries to solve the problem by assigning a sizable male nurse, Rocco, to serve as John's escort. Despite his initial annoyance over Rocco calling him 'Casanova', John's inherently friendly and romantic nature has every bit the effect on the Scary Black Man; within three days, Rocco has moved to Madrid to learn flamenco dancing.
  • Needing information about his patient, Mickler pays a call on John's grandmother. She describes her first meeting with John in fifteen years: "I opened the door (laughs), and there was Zorro!"

DONA ANA: "I will accept that I am not the first (woman you made love to), if you will tell me, with the same honesty, how many others there have been."
(VO: This would have been a very good time for me to lie, but truth is a terrible habit.)
JOHN: "Including you, there have been, exactly, one... thousand, five hundred and two."
(VO: I could see that this was a sum substantially greater than the one she had in mind...)