- Gru, trying to flatter Ms. Hattie by speaking Spanish. She has no idea what he's saying, but she thinks it's a compliment. However...
- "You have a face... como un burro."note
- And when Ms. Hattie buys a Spanish dictionary to notice what it means - and slapping Gru across the face with it.
- Most of Margo's constant sarcasm, especially when she mimics Gru when he wanted her, Edith and Agnes to "skip the dance class" during their ballet practice. And the shrink ray. The whole theater was laughing so hard when she didn't care about Vector asking her, Edith and Agnes who ordered more cookies than him.
Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, uh, two caramel clumpies, aaaaand fifteen boxes of coco-nutties.
Vector:: Exactly! I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies! Not likely! Name one person who ordered more cookies than me!
Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl in our ears and lay eggs in our brains.
Great. Thanks for that image, Edith.
Gru: Rule number one: Do not. Touch. Anything.
Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor?
Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor.
Margo: What about the air?
Gru: Yes, you may touch the air.
- The glowstick. (A minion Lampshading New Powers as the Plot Demands).
- There's just something about Vector screwing around with the shrink ray, and the idiotic one-liners he shouts while shrinking his BATHROOM.
Vector: Booyah! You got shrunk, tiny mouth wash!
- Also, what happens when Dr. Nefario mishears "cookie robots." Gru's expression just sells it.
- Made even funnier by the end of the movie.
- The "Boogie Robots" scene:
Gru: (to Dr. Nefario at the Boogie Robots presentation)
'Cookie robots.' I said 'cookie robots.' W...Why are you so...so old
) Ok. I'm on it.
- The girls messing with Gru's presentation. "I fly to the moon... I shrink the moon... I grab the moon... I sit on the toil...et - what?"
Gru: Now, where were we?
Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet.
- Gru's two imagine spots.
- The whole midway game sequence.
- "Cotton candy!"
- "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!!"
- "I said DART gun!"
- "Oooooh... yes, well, I was wondering... under what circumstances... we would ever use something like this."
- Becomes a bit of a brick joke in the second movie when Nefario uses it on El Macho.
- From a sign: "Bank of Evil (formerly Lehman Brothers)"
- After Gru reads the Sleepy Kittens book to the girls:
Agnes: I like him, he's nice.
Edith: But scary...
Agnes: Like Santa!
- The fact that Vector camouflaged the Pyramid of Giza right next to his house by spray painting it blue and painting clouds on it.
- Gru's facial expression and pointing over his back at hearing Vector was the one who stole the pyramids gets a giggle.
- Early on in the movie, there's a game at an amusement park where you have to knock over a tiny spaceship prop. The reward is a stuffed unicorn (Agnes' was destroyed earlier). After around 1 or 2 tries, Agnes hits the spaceship... but the vendor decides to be a dick and invoke Exact Words, saying that she didn't "knock over" the spaceship. Gru proceeds to bring out his More Dakka gun, and blast the stand. The entire stand is obliterated... except the planet and spaceship. The vendor stares at the wreckage, and the ship disintegrates.
- "...who's Debbie?"
- Agnes holding her breath.
Gru: ...that's freaking me out, what is she doing?
- The little shadow puppets during the end credits can make one giggle.
Minion (talking through shadow puppet of Gru): "Hello! I am Gru. Back to work. Back to work!"
- When Gru goes into the bank, the teller is fast asleep. Behind him, a sign which declares, "We are always alert to your needs!"
- Agnes singing at the orphanage while they were about to sleep.
- Two of the Minions altering Gru's credentials while Ms. Hattie is reading them. Then getting into a slap fight over what to add, and then one Minion starts forcing the other to slam his head against the keyboard repeatedly, causing the credentials to turn to gibberish and confusing the hell out of Ms. Hattie.
- "Yes, mine's shaped like a dead guy!"
- One of the side effects of stealing the moon... a werewolf turns back to normal.
- "Rule number three: You will not cry, or whine, or laugh, or giggle, or sneeze or burp or fart."
Agnes: Does this count as annoying? (Puckers mouth and smacks puffed-out cheeks, making a popping sound)
- Jorge (the short plump minion with the spiked hair) xeroxing his rear end on the photocopier, much to Stuart and Jerry's amusement.
- The girls and two minions throwing TP around the house. Gru sees this and he is not amused.
Edith: Umm ... (Points to the minions) It was your cousins' idea!
- "AAARRGH, there's a squid on my face!"
- And just before, the look in that squid's eyes. It clearly has no idea what's going on...
- And then the second one rolls his eyes at Vector's boasting.
- This scene:
Agnes: Aw! My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly!
Edith: That's a Cheeto.
Agnes: Oh. *eats cheeto*
- And Margo's and Edith's reaction just sells it.
- The gag with Nefario's mobility scooter.
Nefario: We have to get to him... AND FAST!
- Gru's odd "good night" to the girls during their first night there.
"All right, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed-bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them." *turns off lights, starts to leave, but pauses* "Oh, and there's probably something in your closet."
- That part with the balloon.
- The minions go shopping for a new unicorn toy for Agnes.
- "When we got adopted by a bald guy...I thought this would be more like Annie."
- The Brick Joke in which Ms. Hattie mentions the offscreen box of shame, then when the three girls leave the room, they say hi to the girl imprisoned in the now-visible box. Later when the girls are returned to the orphanage, they are each put in one of these boxes for their sizes. Except this time, it's not funny.
- Edith's face when she sees Gru for the first time.
- Agnes eating candy from a dog bowl.
- The reference to The Godfather with Gru finding the makeover doll head in his bed and freaking out.
- Gru speaking to Dr. Nefario over the video intercom, and acting as if everything is normal... despite having Kyle hanging off his arm, and eating his muffin, having sunk his teeth into it.
- When Gru brings the girls home; Agnes spots Kyle, shrieks "Ooh, fluffy doggie!" and runs up to give him a hug — whereupon he yelps in fright and runs away. Priceless.
Gru: "Kyle, these are not treats, they're guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my...dog."
- "Oh, can we get stuffed crust?!"
"Ooooooh, stuffed crust."
"I'll stuff you ALL in the crust!"
Edith: "(laughing) You're funny."
- After the pyramid is stolen in the opening, various governments around the world protect their landmarks... such as one guy with a shotgun defending "The Big Beer (16000 fluid oz)" and a platoon of tanks in China guarding the Great Wall and all swiveling their turrets to shoot a passing bird!
- Kevin (the minion who gets shrunk later on) reacting to Gru shaking his hand like he just met Elvis and fainting.
- "Da da da, papoy. Pfft!"
- When the girls first find the secret lair, Edith finds a strange-looking solution:
Edith: Can we drink this?
Nefario: *equally cheery voice* Do you want to explode?
Edith kicks him instead, while he shouts out Gru!!!.