Funny / Death to Smoochy

  • The "penis cookie" scene.
    Smoochy: (gears in his head spinning rapidly as he sees just what the cookies are shaped like) ...IT'S A ROCKET SHIP!!!
    • Randolph's enraged rant in which he tosses around euphemism after euphemism for "penis" like grenades. In front of children who just laugh.
    Rainbow Randolph: What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a PENIS! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough.
    • Immediately after he gets escorted out, Randolph remarks, "I'm Rainbow fucking Randolph, and I know the way out-", before immediately falling down the stairs and slamming straight into the wall and spitting out a tooth.
  • There's also Randolph crash-tackling the man asking for donations to "Save the Rhinos!"
  • "Hey, little nipple-nibbler! The rhino's a Nazi!"
  • "When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker." Totally different caliber of joke from the rest of the movie.
  • The looks Stokes give Burke when Buggy goes all narcoleptic at the salsa bar. It's like "Seriously? This it the guy we're counting on?!"
  • "You got da hammer, Roy?" "I always got me hammer, Tommy."
    • Also pretty much every line from the Irish Mob.
      (Bang bang bang bang bang)
      Randolph: (laying on the couch with an ice pack on his head) I'm trying to sleep, asshole! Read the fucking meter another time!
      (The Irish Mob kicks his door down)
  • This:
    Randolph: She's right, you've got to keep your dignity intact — (spills coffee on himself) — OWW! MY BALLS! They're on fire!
  • Tommy: "You must know some fairy tales then. Hey, Donny! Tell him the one about the worthless prick who gets his head chopped off with an ax!"
  • Randolph's surprise phone call to Sheldon (who doesn't recognize his voice):
    Randolph: You better grow eyes in the back of your fucking head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I'm goin' on safari, motherfucker! SAFARI! (mimics elephant trumpeting)
    Sheldon: ...well, how do you like that!
  • When the cops assist a rather shaken Randolph:
    Cop: Are you okay?
    Randolph: I dunno; I'm kinda fucked up in general, so it's hard to gauge...