- The "penis cookie" scene.
Smoochy: (gears in his head spinning rapidly as he sees just what the cookies are shaped like) ...IT'S A ROCKET SHIP!!!
- Randolph's enraged rant in which he tosses around euphemism after euphemism for "penis" like grenades. In front of children who just laugh.
- Immediately after he gets escorted out, Randolph remarks, "I'm Rainbow fucking Randolph, and I know the way out-", before immediately falling down the stairs and slamming straight into the wall.
- There's also Randolph crash-tackling the man asking for donations to "Save the Rhinos!"
- "Hey, little nipple-nibbler! The rhino's a Nazi!"
- "When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker." Totally different caliber of joke from the rest of the movie.
- "You got da hammer, Roy?" "I always got me hammer, Tommy."
- Also pretty much every line from the Irish mob.
Randolph: She's right, you've got to keep your dignity intact — (spills coffee on himself) — OWW! MY BALLS! They're on fire!
- Tommy: "You must know some fairy tales then. Hey, Danny! Tell him the one about the worthless prick who gets his head chopped off with an ax!"
- Randolph's surprise phone call to Sheldon (who doesn't recognize his voice):
Randolph: You better grow eyes in the back of your fucking head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until worms are crawling up your foam-rubber ass! I'm goin' on safari, motherfucker! SAFARI! (mimics elephant trumpeting)
Sheldon: ...well, how do you like that!
- When the cops assist a rather shaken Randolph:
Cop: Sir, are you alright?
Randolph: I dunno; I'm pretty fucked up in general, so it's difficult to gauge...