Funny / DaThings1

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  • "Prawn Srars" (original taken down; link goes to flipped re-upload to prevent further copyright infringement problems)
    • "On this episode of Soda Stars:"
      • "What have we got here?" "I have a sas—saass—sadaaasss—seddhledesse—"
      • (shown on the reupload): Seddhledesse: n. entity relating to a horseback seat, particularly as it pertains to Kovin Kestner (actor, "Dances with Svlolves".)
      • "—from Kevin Costner from Dances with Wolves. Dances with Saddles. Dances with Kevin Kostner. Dances with Saddles. Dances with Svloles."
    • "That's not my tattoo set. That's not my tattoo set."
    • "Circling, circling, circling—"
    • "We have a Cs188 rifle. This is a sick American rifle. The nun that won the nun well...."
      • And then Rick points the rifle to his forehead.... BANG!!!! "And that's why we always check to see if they're loaded." (click) "LOL!"
      • The gunshot incident was also done again in a few minutes later. "This gun is the real deal. Now all I gotta do is test it...." BANG!!!!
    • "I'm Garrison, and this is my paunch. And this is my poncho. And this is my pawn shop." (cue picture of chess pawns)
    • "Every item here has a story, and a price, and a pawn shop, and an old man."
    • Dances with Wolves Saddle.
      • Owned by Kovin Kestner.
      • Used in the film Dances with Dancers.
      • Edible
    • "Earlilrae—early this morning a guy came out with a classic American rifle—" (pause) "I mean the guy came out with a saddle: bib—BIG money, so I called up my BIG buddy Mark."
      • "My name is Mark. [Beat] I'm an expert on Western AlieilA."
    • The entire powder and your ball sequence.
    • "Well, it's definitely a saddle."
    • "Do I want this gun? YESSSSSSSS. I mean, it's a nice gun, it's a nice gun, it's a nice gun—
    • "Everyone knows I'm into tattoos around here. I mean I got no brain."
    • "Mum, this guy wants to tattoo your chum!"
    • "I wanted to be a tattoo. But then, uh, something."

  • Hot Dogs, LSD and Hot Dogs
    • The title changes from "CASE STUDY: LSD" to "CASE STUDY: DSL", "EASY STUDS ON LSD", and "CASEY SAYS LOL".
    • "This guy I went to school with asked me if I want to try some acid, and I took off screaming down the street." *The End*
    • "I was pretty jacked up on sauce, so I decided to try it, and I dropped it. (sound of shattering glass)
    • "I don't know what I was doing, whatever. But I kept sitting there waiting, and waiting and waiting, and waiting and waiting, and waiting and I don't know what I was waiting, and waiting for, a flash or a rush. WOWOWOWOWWOW"
    • "I was very hung. And I had put mustard and ketchup and relish and ketchard and retchup and mulish the usual. I put the hotdog into my dog's mouth, and somebody started screaming..."
    • "I got the hotdog up to my mom. And I looked down on the hotdog and there was a hotdog." (girl goes terrified, vendor goes Nicolas Cage rageface)
    • "And I stood there with this hotdog and asked Terry, 'You know this hotdog?' And he says, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH""
    • "I realized I had murdered my friend Terry. Lol."
    • And I was jumping on this hotdog in the middle of Hotdog Street...

  • Postman Tap Delivers Fake Letters
    • "Postman Cat, Postman Cat, PostmanamtsoP-"
    • "Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat in Black and White!"
    • "He picks up his van..." followed by Tap lifting his van and throwing it as Mrs. Goggins watches through her window.
    • "Toastman Pat, Toastman Pat..."
    • "All the letters are fake, Tap feel he's a Postman!"
    Title Card: Pastman Pot
    Mrs Pottage: We've made cake.
    Postman Tap: It's my cake now! (Steals cake) Thank you very much!
    [extended Beat as Tap and Thompson look over their suspiciously identical-looking canes]
    Thompson: You should go.
    Tap: [as he returns to his van, which has a hammer and sickle emblazoned on its rear-end, cane in hand] Whatever.
    • "Granny Dryden was busy cooking poo. 'Gross,' said Tap."
    • "ERR AAH ERR"
    • "There was a glass of red wine waiting for Tap. 'Cheers!' She gave him a glass of Arsenic. Miss Hubbard drank and drank and drank-"
    • "She gave him a steering wheel covered in poo. 'That's just lovely.'"
    • "Lucy was on the lookout for Tap at the village school." *Lucy looks out for Tap with a sniper rifle. Tap rounds the corner of the schoolyard wall, a red dot between his eyes and...*
    • "Tap had presents for the children: A picture of him on a card each, and a piece of chalk."
    • "Tap was amazed. There was an article about him, headed: "WANTED: Postman Tap - Uuhyeahuh". It told all about his work, how he f**ked everyone, where he was born, and... his bounty. 'Well,' said Tap, 'Time to run away!'"
    The Article: WANTED: Postman Tap - Uhhyeahuh. Basically this guy goes around in a red van, delivers fake letters, and Trolls the community. We're thinking maybe we should do something about it. Also, he *** everyone. Most often against their will. That's kinda illegal. He was born in Battle Creek, MI. Not that it matters. Last I checked the areas of people's birth aren't enough to go on as far as catching criminals. BOUNTY: 15 frarfs
    • Tap's not the only fellow wanted in Greendale: There's a Freeze-Frame Bonus bit for a man named Garyrary.
    That Article: WANTED: Garyrary. Garyrary is veryrery scaryrary. He and larryrarry eat berrirerries on the ferryrerry. Be waryrary. We're thinking he's probably also a furryrurry.

  • Postman Tap 2: Double Tap.
    • "It was another hot day in Green Day. A very hot day. Everything was hot. The village was hot. The van was hot. Tap was hot. Green Day was terrible!"
    • "Mrs. Goblins was trying to get cool."
    Mrs. Goblins (as Tap drives by): You suck!!
    • "'They're going to turn the water off this morning!' 'I know,' said Tap. 'Hah, but they can't turn off the lemonade!'" *Gilligan Cut* "'They're going to turn off the lemonade! Whatever will we do? HaH! But they can't turn off the Tea!'"
    • "'Hey, don't forget Granny Dry-' 'I won't.'" *Tap leaves without Granny Dry's parcel, leaving Mrs. Goblins confused* "He met Granny Dryyyy and told him about his **** being cut off."
    • "It's a pity the old pump's not working. Wew, wewew. There were plenty of dry times in my young days-" "ERR AAH ERR"
    • "Tap, isn't this terrible! We haven't got a drop of water left!" "Cool, whatever."
    • Ted Glen sings "Mary Had A Little Lamb," ending his bit by saying "Dedede!" That clay figure of King Dedede's pretty cute, too...
    • The dubstep section.
    Peter Farm: I wonder if I can fish it out with this sook! [Beat] Ah, got it!
    Tap: At least I didn't drop this! (Cue bass drop)

  • "My Little Pwn: Friendship is Frerfship"
    • Pinkie Pie: Glance EEEEEEEEE!
    • Apple Bloom: Applejack, I'm a baby! I can take care of my sus!
    • This:
    Twilight Sparkle: Now, tell me, what exactly have you actually seen Zecora do?
    Rainbow Dash: Well… (long silence, fidgets and rolls her eyes, starts to say something but goes quiet)
    Twilight: Ooh… (starts talking backwards)
    • Applejack: That filly little silly!
    • Rarity: Ugh, I look like a bull! Nice decorations...if you like pee!
    • The TBS logo showing up when Appletini says "Very funny."
    • This:
    Pinkie Pie: Don't you agree, Fluttershy?
    Fluttershy: (deep voice) I don't wanna talk about it.
    (everypony laughs)

  • Ernie calls Rubber Duckie Fat
    • "Arab! Arab! Arab! Arab!"
    • Ernie rapidly and forcefully squeezing Rubber Duckie, accompanied by "ANIMAL ABUSE" on screen.
    • Ernie: Hey, Rubber Duckie, would you like me to scrub your BUTT?
      Rubber Duckie (with Mario's head): No.
      Ernie: Would you like me to scrub YOUR FACE?
      Rubber Duckie (with Dr. Robotnik's head): NO!
      Ernie: Would you like me to scrub, scrub, scrub all the floors in Hyrule, scrub, scrub, scrub all the floors in Gamelon, scrub, scrub, scrub my ship in the morning, scrub, scrub, scrub my Wii?
      Rubber Duckie (with M. Bison's head): YES!
      Ernie: Oh. Okay. How's this?
      Rubber Duckie: IT BURNS!
      (Ernie makes an evil laugh)
    • Ernie: Rubber Duckie, you're so tubby and chubby!
      Rubber Duckie: Did you just call me fat?

  • Sadam Avagenote , Jamie Heinienote , Arahamaharanote , Tori Cheenote , and Karirarinote  proudly present The Mythsters.
    • The numerous changes to the title card, including "MythbubhtyM" and "Mythsusters".
    • "They don't test the myths, they just tell the myths"
    • "We're testing that women are men"
    • "Up steps the first walker to take the watching dead challenge"
      • "This is gonna be a test" *the guy gets up and walks out*
    • "How many times did they pass the basketball?" "Yellow."
      • "Anything else interesting about the video?" "Mmm... 12?"
    • "Xbox One." "I'm not buying it." "Yeah, really?"
    • "Which can cause Koffing and Vomiting"
    • "What are we gonna blow up today?" (balloon animal appears)
    • "On Backing Braid"
    • "So the good stuff is very very good stuff"
    • "Woah, this is a squid."
    • "It may look nothing like Stevie Wonder, but Stevie doesn't even know how he looks."
    • "Now what we need to do is test this myth." (you don't say) "And we're gonna have to create a TV show. And we're gonna have to reek."
    • "The Leela Effect"
    • "With the one and only ingredient: a mammoth."
    • "It's about seven degrees." "That's about a hundred degrees."

  • The Price is Rice (And Other-Type Game Shows)
    • It's The Price Is Rice!
    • The female contestant who always says "No."
      • The other female contestant, Nicole, who is brokennote .
        Nicole?
    • "Shadow, what's our first prize?" "A Chaos Emerald?!"
    • This exchange:
    Contestant: Seven-oh-one.
    Craig Ferguson: Say it again?
    Contestant: Seven-oh-one?
    Craig: Say it again?
    Contestant: Seven-no-one.
    Craig: Say it again?
    Contestant: No.
    Paula: Yes.
    • "What bird is Mexico?"
    • The Wheel of Fortune segment:
      Tommy Wiseau: What a story…
      Pat Sajak: …mark, and let's get you working on this puzzle. The category tonight is "Puzzle."
      (A single letter lights up; Vanna just stands and shrugs instead of revealing it)
      Pat: Vanna? Vanna? Hello, Vanna?
      Contestant: Oh.
      Pat: Well, uhhhhh…
      Contestant: Oh.
      Pat: …hhhhhU
      Contestant: .yggub ybab weN-Oh.
      (board reveals "FHQWHGADS")
    • The host of Family Feud, in the Fast Money intro: "THE GAME!"
    • "If you can't thing of anything, just say "Feuf-fef-feef-feuf-feuff-feeuf-feuf-fueeeee!"
    • A disastrous Fast Money:
      • "Name something." "Reading"
      • "Name something in their homes that people always keep in a movie theatre." [seagull sounds]
      • "A word that rhymes with 'movie theatre'." "Cease"
      • "Give me a large popcorn, please." "No!"
      • "When you're fu—" "Phone numbers."
      • Every given answer scores zero points.
    • "Welcome to Who Wants To Be A Bee."
    • And I want to fight you and all the Irish and a pea.
    • Which of the following is best pony?:
      • A) Twilight
      • B) Applejack
      • D) Rainbow Dash
      • 8) Pinkie Pie
      • It's Fluttershy
      • (That pony joke was a bit over the top...)

  • The Price is Rice Jr.
    "If you want money, make the money. 1-800-NINE. We are injured. The law says you should get injured. If you want injured, you deserve the free burger. Whoa."
    • One of the teams in Double Dare 2000 has three team members whose names begin with "Chris."
    • "I'm gonna ask the blue team a question. If they know the answer, that's great, they'll answer it. If they don't, I don't care, they have to answer it. If they don't answer the question, goes a little bit like this: I'm gonna put a chokehold on the blue team, at which point they have to get a physical."
    • One of the answers in the "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" segment is "idk lol."
    • "I need to be a smart chicken." *He gradually turns into a smart chicken.*
    • The montage of contestasts at the end:

  • Bill Nigh Cells Himself For a Profit

  • "The Ground Roundup"
    ♪Myyyyyyym
    ♪I used to wonder what could be
    ♪Bench, nun, fart, notch
    Karing shindness, it's an easy feat
    ♪Myyyyyym, don't you know you're all my very best frieeeeeeeirf♪
    • Twilight Sparkle: Jack, you're a failure.
    • This exchange:
    Apple Bloom: What's it say?
    Twilight Sparkle: It's from Jack. "Family and friends. Soon." That's all there is.
    Apple Bloom: Jack's Jack?
    Rainbow Dash: What do you mean, Jack? She luls!
    Granny Smith: And she luls.
    Apple Bloom: And she luls!
    • "I'm glad we're finally gonna get some applejacks." (Old joke is old, I know.)
    • Twilight Sparkle: "Look, girls!" (picture turns swirled) "Swirls!"

  • "The Sharkshank Redemption" (edited and re-uploaded on DaThings1's alternate account as "Who are the Sarksh?)"
    • The introductions of the sharks:
    "Kevin O'Leary is a cat who turned a $10 loan into a sauce business worth $4."
    "Lori Greiner, the Queen of Bruce, holds over half a dollar."
    "Daymond John is Mowgli."
    "Robert Herjajerc, the son of an immigrant factory worker.
    "And Mark Cuban, the outspoken owner of Kevin O'Leary."

  • Even The Evil Bernstain Rascals, probably his weakest poop, has its moments:

  • Sorry, Ross.

  • Wow! It's Made!
    • "Hey. M-M-Most commercially made paper is made from paper."
    • "Paper is made from wood, trees, and paper. Chemicals, slals, sos..."
    • "Covert tooth."
    • "But the main ingredient remains the same: a mammoth."
    • "This machine beats the workers to a pulp. Begin the beating. After eight hours of beating, they may also die, depending on the desired effect."
    • "At this point, the paper is 99 cents." "It was 99 cents!"
    • "Holland is filling with water." "Holland. OH NO, the windmills."
    • "To make a sheet of cheetah paper, the Batman plunges a wooden mold into the mold. Hee hee hee."
    • "It's a lighter. LOL. Spin the wheel!" "It's a Combusken!"
      Well, that was weird.
    • "An Electrode welds the hinge to the case, then a mechanic inspects the welding joj. Mechanized arms then place a tutu and plate in the cake. The tube will hold The Flintstones and the plate will form The Jetsons."
    • "Sonic screwdrivers drive the screws."
    • "Molding of the pills is done by Flo."
    • "Two stampers, one above and the other above, crush Dr. Phil."
    • "Then the door of the coating unit is caaaaaaaaarefully closed." SLAM
    • "They are lined up in grooves to make filling groovier. Then they snort powder."
    • "And the final step is PVP."note 
    • "This plant also makes pills—" (Beat) "Wait. Never mind."
    • "Years ago, people went down alleyways. This technique was called a walk."
    • "This rope is fuuf, yet flulf."
    • "…that applies a protective coating of urine. This machine is called the machine machine".
    • "IT'S- over 9000 kilograms." "WHAT NINE THOUSAND?!?- That's the weight of a killer whale!"
    • "Double powerful ultra high performance thermal high tech fancy hydraulic rope."
    • "So now, you really know the Pope."

  • The sequel to "Wow! It's Made", Wow! It's Made: Revelations:
    Narrator: Americans are number one. Germans should be on the street. Black people are to be sold as pieces of meat. I really hate all people in different regions.
    • "...the length of one soccer field, twice. That's close to two soccer fields!"
    • "Big fat rolls of cellulite are loaded into this big death machine. *The screen goes red and the video slows down.*
    • "A machine then vacuums out any hot dogs." (The clip of the machine is played backwards to achieve the effect, and the worker looks quite upset to see her hot dogs disappear.) *Sad music starts to play and the scene fades to black and white before being interrupted*
    • "An inspector eats 3500 hot dogs a minute."
    • "This factory manu-factors an incredible 3 hot dogs an hour. That's close to two!"
    • "...or pathetic materials, such as Floam, or huge densely packed bales weighing almost 6 pounds."
    • "This polyester fiber is made from polyester fiber.
    • "Fans push the fibers to another opening machine called 'The Other Opening Machine'."
    • "Brrr..."
    • "Ssspray a ssspecial sssolution to reduccce ssstatic electricccity."
    • "After the garnet hopper, the fibers look like complete crap. Unacceptable. They need to be thrown out. (A pile of fibers is tossed into a bin, making a Wilhelm Scream.)"
    • "I'm the king. The workers must be taught to OBEY!"
    • "A technician punches out the other workers, and they are now turned into loose synthetic fibers."
    • "The first machine separates the workers with a large steel spiked roller. This maims them considerably, but not completely."
    • "Everyone is a telephone operator."
    • "To make high-end headphones, an injection molding machine first makes high-end headphones, to produce a critical component: The headphones."
    • "A technician turned on her computer and logged into Youtube. She then trolled the entire Youtube public hundreds of times. (Various Youtube comments with offensive, stupid, or Flame War inducing statements from "Fleelfmeister471" are displayed.) RUDE."
    • "The next technician positions the plastic bag around the Danger Zone for a wide and flat Audi."
    • "The next technician's a freak. Must be in her brain. One very strange individual."
    • Kids React to... bread.
    • "The dough will eventually rise. (Very long beat) ...Eventually..."
    • "The machine can handle 3 per second, for a total of 11,500 per second."
    • "And now, ready for shipping. (Cue two lumps of dough preparing to kiss as romantic music plays.) Dough pieces must not touch one another!"
    • "So now, you're really dope!"note 

  • Wow! I'm Hungry! (Wow! It's Made! 3)

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