Funny / Dateline

"These are serious investigations, but, undeniably, there are moments that... y'know, border on the humorous."
Chris Hansen

  • The deadpan voiceovers reading the sexually charged transcripts on To Catch a Predator are funny enough, but doubly so when Hansen himself reads them back to the potential pedo:
    Hansen: You say, 'I'd love to [bleep] a young man, deep [bleep] and [bleep] him [bleep]'. Do you recall that?
    • The unbleeped line is "I'd love to suck a young man, deepthroat and drain him dry". Imagine those words coming out of Hansen's mouth.
  • The Conan O'Brien spoof. The dialogue is almost verbatim what's said in some of these segments. It's the context—Conan walked into the house by accident and his claims of innocence are true—that make it funny.
  • One man who arrived completely naked into the decoy house was allowed to leave... only to get busted for the same exact thing less than 24 hours later. Chris Hansen, understandably irritated, confronts him at a McDonald's, and the predator proclaims "I was only trying to get something to eat!" several times. He was clothed that time, in a "God Bless America" shirt.
  • The predator with the screen name "GenericWhiteMale" can be mildly amusing, considering that about 95 percent of the predators on the show are white males.
  • Most of Hansen's lines are Deadpan Snarker comedy gold. Some highlights include, "No hug for me?", "It's a little late for that, dawg", and, of course, "Marvin, you're naked!"
  • The guy with the sideways hat and the "dude" verbal tic in Fort Myers is a laugh riot.
    Schumacher: Hey, NBC, two words: roleplaying chatroom, dude.
  • One of the predators had a mild speech impediment, causing his "oh, crap" to come out as "aw, cwap".
  • "For sex I am not coming."
    Hansen: For sex you are not coming?
  • After being told that a predator was here to be a "big brother" to a 13-year-old boy.
    Hansen: So you were coming over to be a mentor...?
    Mcintosh: In a way, yeah. I'm sure you've heard that 20 billion times.