Funny: Dangan Ronpa

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     Chapter 1 
  • There are a few gems during the first dining hall meeting.
    • After Sayaka discovers the fridge and Yamada expresses concern about food supplies:
    Toko: Y-you can just eat sesame s-seeds or something...
    Hifumi: Huh? What am I, a parakeet?
    • After Chihiro expresses concern about Monokuma appearing before Sayaka in the kitchen:
    Aoi: But was everything okay? He didn't try to like, eat you or anything?
    Hifumi: E-Eat her...? Um, what do you mean by that? I mean, when you say "eat," what kind of eating are we talking about?
    Aoi: C-Come on, man!
    Leon: What the hell, fatty!? You're acting like some kind of sleazy drunk dude.
    Yasuhiro: Not like there's a good kind of drunk dude...
  • Toko resents being with Aoi and Sakura:
    Toko: S-Stop trying to drag me farther into y-your meat dimension!
    • Given their preoccupation with protein, one suspects that Aoi and/or Sakura may have been regular patrons of Aiya in better days.
  • Makoto and Sayaka run into Junko in the school store:
    Junko: Damn, Makoto! I never woulda guessed, but you're a total player, huh?
    Sayaka: No, no, it's nothing like that. I'm his assistant!
    Makoto: To be dismissed like that is somehow...
    Junko: Huh? His assistant? What is that, like some new kinda roleplay thing? Well, whatever. What you're into is your business. I don't judge!
  • Sayaka's cooking specialty? Chili oil.
  • Makoto's epic pratfall after Monokuma interrupts his moment with Sayaka.
    I aimed at Monokuma, and punched with all my strength.
    And then missed with all my strength.
    And then fell down with all my strength. And hit my back with all my strength.
  • The entire sequence during the investigation involving the trash room. From Leon accusing Hifumi of volunteering to be janitor because of untoward designs on the girls' trash, to Hifumi adding that his 2D exclusivity also includes 3D merchandising, to Byakuya suggesting they deploy Sakura to keep the boys on garbage duty honest, all the way to Hifumi speculating that the inexplicable fire in the incinerator is the work of elves (or fairies).
  • At one point in the first trial, after someone points out a suspicious lack of hair at a crime scene, suggesting the culprit was someone who had no legitimate reason to be in the room and cleaned up after themselves:
    Celeste: Maybe you cleaned up to erase traces of Sayaka visiting your room... ...isnít that also a possibility?
  • After it's revealed that Sakura and Aoi have alibis because they spent the night together, Kiyotaka attempts to reprimand them over the inappropriateness of a man and woman sleeping together. Sakura has to remind him that she, too, is a woman. It gets even weirder in the demo, where the sleepover part is cut out, so Kiyotaka takes issue with a man and woman drinking tea in the cafeteria together.
  • Hifumi says any man would've jumped at the chance to go to Sayaka's room at night... except him. Because he's only into 2D. In case you forgot.
  • During the trial, Hifumi blurts out the following when Oowada asks about the culprit:
    Yamada: I'm sorry, but I give up! Quit without saving!
  • During the trial, Monokuma answers a theoretical question by saying an accomplice to the culprit wouldn't have a shot at graduation. People start to assume this means there couldn't have been an accomplice since one would have nothing to gain. Chihiro points out that they didn't know this until now, so there still could've been an accomplice. Monokuma snaps that there is no accomplice! Oops...
  • Makoto, while far less of a First-Person Smartass than Hajime, gets a nice moment when it's .
    Toko: Then Makoto *c-coudn't* have done it...!
    Makoto: (thinking) That's what I've been trying to tell you...

     Chapter 2 
  • Monokuma attempts to motivate the students to commit murder by threatening to reveal their "darkest secrets" to the entire world unless one of them commits a murder. The funny one is Makoto's, simply because it's such a banal "darkest secret" compared to the eventual culprit and victim's secrets: Makoto used to wet the bed until 5th grade.
  • The segment in the beginning with Monokuma attempting to lead the students in a morning exercise session surely counts. Particularly the fact that Kiyotaka was not only going along with this unquestioningly, he was the only one doing it at all.
  • Hifumi and Toko's back-and-forth in the library after the second floor opens up.
  • Kiyotaka and Mondo have a willpower contest in the sauna, complete with matching battle auras.
  • During the contest, Kiyotaka is clad in nothing but a towel around his waist. Mondo, meanwhile, is fully clothed...with a towel draped on his hair.
  • Same chapter (and also the anime, episode 4), there's also Hifumi accidentally pressing Celeste's Berserk Button by serving her improperly prepared royal milk tea...
    Celeste: (cute smile) Even in cafes that offer proper milk tea, it is always more expensive than simple tea with milk. It takes more time to prepare, surely, but...why even bother creating a menu if you are not going to offer the highest level of quality!?
    Hifumi: Well, um...we don't actually have a menu...
    Celeste: (completely pissed off) That does not matter. Hurry up and bring me what I asked for, swine!
    Hifumi: WHAAAAAT!? O-Okay! Your little piggy will bring it right out!
    Celeste: Hmhm. I do so love coercion.
    • Punctuated by the sound clip used in the official English version: Celeste growling "You little BITCH!" without her French accent. Also doubles as Foreshadowing for Chapter 3... In any case, Makoto's inner monologue stating that Celeste is "one scary chick" is definitely an understatement.
  • Makoto finds Byakuya in the library:
    Makoto: Hey, uh...what are you doing?
  • Genocider Syo (alternately, Genocide Jack/Jill) is a goldmine for these; using Makoto as a punching bag during a Relationship Values moment, and describing Byakuya's underwear with a Godot quote come to mind.
    • Her rant about how she can't be the culprit. The very last reason? She doesn't know how to make tight knots.
    • Her extended analogy comparing murders to Italian food and ramen.
    • Also, the start of a brief Running Gag: Makoto becomes "Big Mac," and Chihiro becomes "Cherry."
  • From the official translation, Byakuya has the following response to Mondo during the trial, which somehow manages to be both a Gosh Dang It to Heck! and a Precision F-Strike:
    Mondo: Are you fucking with us right now...?
    Byakuya: No, I am not...effing with you right now. I'm telling you the truth.
  • From the Zetsubou Translation: Kiyotaka and Mondo's breakfast scene has them ramp up the obnoxiousness by replacing their "anikis/kyoudais" with bro puns.
    Ishimaru: You're wasting your breath, Broseidon... a woman could never understand the depth of two men's bonds...
    Oowada: Well said, Broski... mind if I get a tattoo of that somewhere,
    Ishimaru: Your parents only gave you one body, Browada. You should really take care of it!
  • During the trial, Kyoko is asked to explain why she concluded Mondo was the culprit. The player gets to answer for her, and one of the options is "Because I hate him."
  • Hifumi, Kiyotaka, and Yasuhiro have their own reasons for not inspecting a corpse:
    Hifumi: Examine her...carefully? Like, using our hands? Nowaynowaynowaynoway!
    Kiyotaka: It's...probably best if I don't run my hands all over a dead girl's body...
    Yasuhiro: I-It's not that I'm creeped out or anything. It's just...based on religious grounds, ya know?
  • Even Chihiro's Unsettling Gender Reveal has some of this. Kyoko won't come out and say Chihiro's a boy, instead telling the others to thoroughly pat down the body, which leads to an unwitting Sakura volunteering for the task and roaring in shock when she finds out. Then the others react.
    Hifumi: Ah, I see. So "she" was actually a he. Thank you for confirming this fact.
    (beat)
    Hifumi: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?
  • During the Machine Talk Battle against Kiyotaka, it's possible for him to say "Show me some evidence!" and "I won't listen!" in rapid succession, as if one moment, he's challenging you to defend your argument, and the other, he won't listen to anything you have to say. It's a bit of a tragically funny look at how in denial he is over Mondo being the culprit.

     Chapter 3 
  • Genocider Syo makes fun of Aoi's... assets throughout the chapter:
    Genocider Syo: Jeez, your knockers are HUGE! What the heck, did you convince them to double up on milk production?
    ...
    Genocider Syo: What's your top power level, like 35-22-33!? You start out big on top to try and look thinner down south!
    Genocider Syo: Look at your melons! They're seriously gargantuan! Do you dunk 'em in milk every night or something!?
  • Prior to finding the laptop in the changing room:
    • Slightly later, when Yasuhiro tries to reassure Aoi:
    Yasuhiro: As a matter of fact, one time I thought I'd spotted a Grey alien, but it turned out to be a tadpole!
  • Hifumi's initial reaction to Kyoko's technical description of the AI Chihiro built. Particularly Hilarious in Hindsight.
    Hifumi: So you mean... this is a program for the dumb users who canít even bother to open Google and search for things themselves?!
    • Slightly different in the official English translation, as Hifumi is reacting to Makoto's questions about the AI Chihiro built:
    Hifumi: If you wanna know more... just Google it, okay!?
  • Hifumi later declares Alter Ego to be "the most EXCELLENT 2D possible."
    Yasuhiro: But he's a guy! And also a computer program!
    Hifumi: Oh, that aspect is no problem.
  • Monokuma tries to figure out what everyone was doing in the changing room:
    Aoi: Y-Yeah, just because you demand something, doesn't mean we have to do it!
    Monokuma: Do it...? You mean, like *do it* do it?
    Aoi: Wait, what? What do you mean, *do it* do it?
    Monokuma: Ewww, gross! You said "do it"!
    Aoi: What!? You said it first!
    • Celeste successfully covers for them by saying the girls won rock-paper-scissors to see who gets to use the bathhouse. Monokuma tries to entice the boys to spy on the girls with talk of a "man's fantasy." Makoto convinces Yasuhiro and Hifumi to back down, but he later admits that he was reluctant to turn down Monokuma's offer. See also the Easter Egg mentioned further down.
  • Byakuya and Toko's reactions to the group being late to the gym:
    Byakuya: Did you forget how to walk? Is that why you're late? It's simple—right foot, left foot. Right foot...
    Toko: I hope you all win the l-lottery and get hit by a b-bus...
    • Right before that, Byakuya wishes he could go on a shooting spree.
  • Byakuya's reaction to Monokuma's bribe.
    Makoto: A figure like ten billion yen... that's...
    Byakuya: ... way too little.
    • The official translation changes it to $10 million, which Byakuya maintains "is not nearly enough."
  • Some of the things Kiyondo says, as Kiyotaka's politeness melds with Mondo's love of profanity. The word "dumbbutt" comes to mind.
    "Kiyondo": I'm gonna stick a banana up your tailpipe!
  • The scene where the others find out that Hifumi's developed a... thing for Alter Ego.
    Yasuhiro: I happened to do a psychic reading for a certain famous CEO once... And that guy was seriously head over heels for a mannequin. He had a wedding and everything! And your eyes just now... I saw the same look in HIS eyes!
    Hifumi: (shouting) Shut up! Sheís not a mannequin! Sheís an ANGEL!
    (beat)
    Hifumi: (composed) And don't bother telling me angels exist! What we have can't be defined by your petty "words"!
    • Followed shortly by:
    Hifumi: I found myself, y'know...liking her. Her face, her personality, her voice. Even her keyboard...
  • Kiyondo and Hifumi come to blows over Alter Ego:
    "Kiyondo": Moron! Talk down to me and I'll ram my fist right into all four of your vital points!
    Hifumi: Well *I* punch at the speed of sound! And I don't have any arm hair, so there's no drag!
    • Followed by Sakura promptly shutting them both down.
  • The picture of the 'strange person', and the nonplussed reactions it gets out of everyone.
    • And later in the trial when they're discussing what the two people in the photo were actually doing, two of your options amount to "They're drunk" and "They're dancing."
  • The search party discusses warning yells.
    Celeste: So... is something like "KYAA!" fine?
    Aoi: You can shout "KYAA" or "YOOHOO" or anything you want!! Just shout loudly so we can hear you!
    Celeste: Heh heh heh... "Yoohoo" is amusing. This is the first time I've heard someone suggesting that kind of a warning yell...
    • And then later she actually shouts "YOOHOO!"
  • Discussing Kiyotaka:
    Hifumi: Donít put me on the same level as that...that...virgin! I might catch his virginity!
    Yasuhiro: Nah, my guess is you're already infected...
    Aoi: (taken aback) Wait, can you really catch it!?
    Celeste: (smiling) Stop being vulgar. Let's eat breakfast.
  • Byakuya's response to one of Syo's romantic propositions:
    Genocider Syo: You don't have to play hard to get, Master! You can just play hard!
    Byakuya: That doesn't make any sense...
    Byakuya started to slowly back out of the room...
    He started picking up speed, and soon he was sprinting out of the dining hall.
    • Earlier, the revelation that Byakuya's hiding out with a stack of books in the pool changing room.
  • Genocider Syo announcing her mission is to redeem the reputation of alternate personalities everywhere who have been stereotyped as cheap plot devices, for justice!
  • When Kyoko finds Yasuhiro stuffed into a locker.
    Kyoko: He was fast asleep when I found him. I had to kick him a little to wake him up.
    Yasuhiro: That was too cruel! You should be more gentle when waking people up, 'right? Like, by pushing their belly or something!
    Kyoko: ...That's just gross.
  • When asked about who was in the Robo Justice suit, one of the choices is The Illuminati.
  • When Makoto questions how Kyoko could search a dead man's underpants when her examination of a body turns up some evidence hidden there she replies:
    Kyoko: They're just underpants. It's not like I put my hands inside his socks...
    • Once it comes up at the trial and others are understandably taken aback, Makoto ends up telling them with an awkward expression that the pants aren't the important part. Then when he has to answer a multiple-choice question about who something was sent to, one of the options is "Hifumi's pants." And then when he gets another question about something two people have in common, one of the options is "The paper hidden in Hifumi's pants."
    Makoto: That's right. We found it stuffed in his pants.
    Aoi: What!? In his...
    Genocider Syo: ...pants!?
    Sakura: Hm. Yes. His pants...
    Makoto: Okay, well, forget about the pants for now.
    • For bonus hilarity, in School Mode we get a visual on the underwear in question: it's a Justice Robo thong.
  • Continuing from the above, Aoi has the following to say when Makoto gives the pants as an answer:
    Aoi: His pants...? Are you saying his pants are...alive!?
    Aoi: Are pants people!? Are there PANTS PEOPLE!?!?
  • Genocider Syo continues nicknaming people: Kiyotaka becomes "Tick-Tock" and Hifumi becomes "Huffy."
  • During one of the Non-Stop Debates:
    Genocider Syo: Sounds like a Justice Hammer 5 is about to make its appearance! Check out murdergear.com/hammertime for more info!
  • Yasuhiro's attempt to try to dodge Celeste's accusation that "Yasuhiro" refers to him:
    Yasuhiro: W-Wait, but my name isn't really Yasuhiro! It's actually Taro!
    • Shortly thereafter, Celeste threatens to "burn (Kyoko) alive." It's somewhat Hilarious in Hindsight considering how Celeste gets executed, or would have been if not for Monokuma's fire truck.
  • Genocider Syo randomly blurts out the word "indecent" during Celeste's rebuttal against one of Makoto and Kyoko's arguments. Byakuya promptly tells her to shut up.
  • "°ʇᴉɯɯɐppoƃ 'ƃɹǝquǝpn˥ ɐᴉʇsǝlǝƆ"
  • "This is where my flashback ends." "Who are you talking to?"
  • Celeste describing her dream. Talk about Mood Whiplash.
    Celeste: I couldn't take it! I hated it from day one! More than anyone anyone ANYONE else in here! I wanted to get out! Every day was fresh torture! And you wanna know why? HUH!? Because...I had a dream.
    ...
    Makoto: And what was this dream of yours...?
    Celeste: To live in a European castle.
  • The "Man's Ambition" Easter Egg is mainly for Fanservice purposes. And then you notice Toko way in the back epically slipping on a bar of soap.
  • In the Climax Inference, Hifumi slinging blood around and looking like a magical girl transformation sequence.
  • Celeste's explanation of how she got Hifumi involved in her scheme involves making oblique references to Alter Ego. Monokuma wants to know what they're talking about. Kyoko tells him to shut up.
  • For that matter, Celeste's explanation for why she chose Yasuhiro as her fall guy: "Because you're stupid."
    Yasuhiro: That's it!?
    Celeste: And in that regard, I made the right choice. I'm so glad your stupidity surpassed my every expectation. Life must have been tough on your parents, though.
    Yasuhiro: I feel like I could cry...
  • Yasuhiro dashing Celeste's hopes of being reincarnated as Marie Antoinette:

     Chapter 4 
  • Yasuhiro's rant about how his fortunetelling has nothing to do with the occult, which then gets derailed into a discussion of his personal experiences with cattle mutilation, which involves an alien-abducted burger that turns out to be partially made of pork...
    Yasuhiro: Now do you see!? THAT is cattle mutilation!
    Makoto: I...kinda got lost halfway through...
    Aoi: I can't tell if you're for the occult or against it. You stink of stupidity...
    Yasuhiro: I stink of— How dare you!?
    Aoi: Well, you do stink, though.
    Yasuhiro: That's fine!
    • What's more, they actually devote a CG to the burger being beamed away.
  • Makoto is forced to beg to Genocider Syo for access to Alter Ego:
    Yasuhiro: Come on, Makoto! Give her the ol' one-two combo! One—drop to your knees! Two—beseech!
  • One of the breakfast meetings leads to Aoi accusing Makoto of...impropriety:
    Aoi: I know I said she wanted you to show some backbone, but you didn't need to show her THAT much!
    Aoi: You're dirty, Makoto! Dirty! President Dirty of Dirtlandia!
    Aoi: You're the type who takes the stairs of love three steps at a time, aren't you!?
    • Then Toko accuses Aoi of the same, only not as subtly:
    Toko: Night after n-night, you go out for your illicit c-club meetings...
    Toko: You m-midnight sextracurricular activities put us in e-even more danger...!
    Toko: You'd like me to s-stop, wouldn't you? Your sweaty h-hands gripping the big, fat chalk t-tight...
    Toko: Going for all that e-extra credit... Your screams are like the s-screech of a violated blackboard!
    • Finally, Sakura tires of Toko's bullshit:
    Sakura: So, would you rather have your black eye on the left or the right?
    • Toko understandably backs down, but when confronted afterwards, she then says that she wants Byakuya to be hit...and that she wants to watch.
    Toko: If you w-wanna hit someone, hit Master. Please h-hit him. Oh, please *please* let me w-watch you hit him!
    I think it's best if I stay far, *far* away from her...
  • Makoto then tries to ask Sakura if they can talk later assumedly to discuss Sakura being Monokuma's plant in the group, leading to him getting it from both Aoi and Toko:
    Aoi: Ah! Now that Kyoko's dumped him, Makoto's trying to win Sakura's heart!
    Toko: Are you in h-heat, Makoto? Don't care who they a-are as long as they've g-got the right equipment?
    Aoi: Watch out, Sakura! Makoto's transformed into a wild beast! Prime Minister Wild Beast of Beastopia!
  • Aoi gets into a fight with Genocider Syo during a breakfast meeting. Syo can't pass up the opportunity to take another jab at Aoi in her usual manner:
    Genocider Syo: Her giant balloons are a little too perfect, aren't they!? I might be flat, but at least mine are real! And look at my shapely collarbone! Doesn't it just totally set you on fire!?
    • Genocider Syo even makes siren noises as Makoto and Yasuhiro take Aoi to the nurse's office.
  • Monokuma's announcement of the fourth trial has a Shout-Out to Metal Gear of all things:
    Monokuma: Whoops, I feel asleep!
  • Prior to the ride down to the fourth trial, Monokuma claims to have discovered the power of emoticons, demonstrating how smiley faces make any negative thing sound happy and how sad faces do the exact opposite.
    Monokuma: The ultimate martial artist! ^_^
    Monokuma: A locked room murder mystery! ;)
    Monokuma: You're at a picnic and you find a dead body! XD
    Monokuma: Do you have a hundred friends? T_T
    Monokuma: Now then, please get on the elevator! o_O
    Monokuma: I'll see you all down there! <(*-*<) ^(*-*)^ (>*-*)>
    • Apparently Monokuma already knew of the power of emoticons beforehand, as he and Yasuhiro use them in an exchange prior to Monokuma instituting the rule against busting locked doors:
    Monokuma: I'm not mad! >_<
    Yasuhiro: You're totally mad! ;_;
  • Yasuhiro malaprops his way through the early part of the fourth trial, substituting "dying message" with "shining message" and "vienna sausage." Aoi doesn't even know where to begin with that latter one.
  • During the fourth trial, when Kyoko brings up the subject of the Monokuma bottles:
    Toko: What does ch-chess have to do with anything!?
    Yasuhiro: Yeah! Shogi is way better!
    Toko: Yeah! ...Wait, n-no! That's not what I mean!
  • Later during the fourth trial, Toko insists that she didn't disturb the crime scene, even though it becomes increasingly obvious that she did, leading to:
    Byakuya: Stop wasting my time. Just tell us the truth.
    Toko: *immediately* ...Okay. It's my hand print.
    • Right after that:
    Toko: N-no! I swear, there's no w-way!
    Byakuya: Out with it.
    Toko: *immediately again* I...I p-probably did kill her.
    • The voice acting in both instances just makes it better.
  • Going through multiple confessions from people who think they're the killer. Of course, Genocider Syo just so happens to be one of them, for which Byakuya has the following to say:
    Byakuya: Just go away and die your meaningless death alone. Don't drag me into it.
  • When discussing the sneaker prints in the chem lab, Makoto can imply that they were made by Leon's ghost. Yasuhiro promptly flips. Alternately, he can directly troll Byakuya with them.
  • The part in the Climax Inference where Sakura offers Yasuhiro a little wrapped candy with a totally somber expression. You can almost hear him thinking "Okayyy then..."
  • Aoi apologizes to Byakuya for the whole misunderstanding that led to the fourth trial, which he brushes off... and Syo accuses her of setting up an event flag.
    Genocider Syo: Did she just c-capture his flag...? No! No no no! I cannot suffer the existence of someone who would disturb the romance between me and Master!
    Aoi: Wh-What are you talking about!? That's absolutely NOT what's happening here! Why would I ever go for a sleazeball like him!
    Byakuya: *stunned* Sleaze...ball?
    Aoi: That's right! I called you a sleazeball! Cuz you are! Sleazeball!
    Byakuya: Apparently you still have a death wish.
    Aoi: Ohh, more biting sarcasm? No wonder you don't have any friends!
    Genocider Syo: Hey! Stop fighting with Master! You're making me jealous! *I* want the abuse give-and-take! ME!
    • The Project Zetsubou translation offers its own interpretation:
    Asahina: Who would ever fall for... that four-eyed lemon?!
    Togami: *stunned* Four-eyed... lemon?
    Asahina: Just calling it like I see it, you four-eyed lemon!

     Chapter 5 
  • Byakuya orders Toko not to open her mouth without his permission, which she complies with wholeheartedly. Yasuhiro has this to say to Toko:
    Yasuhiro: Man, you're so boring now! You just sit there, like a mushroom! Gonna call you Miss Mushroom!
    Aoi: What!? But if she can't open her mouth, she can't eat! Or drink water!
    Byakuya: I don't care.
    • After Toko "disobeys":
    Toko: S-S-S-S-Sorry! Please don't hate me! Whatever my p-punishment is, I'll accept it! I'll hang a s-sign on my neck that says "Bad Girl"! I'll clean your bathroom w-with my toothbrush...!
    Byakuya: If you stop making disgusting comments like that, *maybe* I can forgive you.
    Toko: Th-Thank you! I won't make any more d-disgusting comments, I promise...! If I do, you can stuff m-my mouth full of trash... As long as i-it's you and no one else, I d-don't mind...!
  • After completing their exploration of the fifth floor, Aoi notes that Yasuhiro was a lot different when they first came to the academy. His explanation? "Well back then my personality hadn't quite solidified yet...!"
  • Makoto calls out Monokuma in the middle of the night. Monokuma then accuses Makoto and Kyoko of having...ulterior motives for meeting in the bathhouse, and apparently gives a detailed account of what he suspects - but censors the text so the game's rating won't go up. Of course, he's far too decent to put cameras there and record such a thing. Makoto asks if it isn't because the steam from the sauna and bath fogs up the lenses, making it hard to see. Monokuma immediately goes silent.
    Monokuma: So warm and wet, so wet and warm... I bet you guys— [REMOVED TO CONFORM WITH LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL CENSORSHIP LAWS] —all over her, didn't you!?
    • Of course, Makoto had called out Monokuma so he could ask a few questions. Monokuma plays hard to get in his own way.
    Makoto: There's just something I wanted to confirm with you.
    Monokuma: Whether I'm a mademoiselle or a dudefella? But in the bear kingdom, there IS no male or female!
    Makoto: Um...actually, there is...
    Monokuma: Seriously!? Th-Then...what am I? My entire existence...
    ...
    Monokuma: You're not gonna ask something useful, like how to get the best honey, or ursine breeding tips? ... This is just crazy... Are all pubescent teen boys as nutty as you!?
  • Monokuma's description of the flower that bears his name:
    Monokuma: Try and touch it, and you're in for some real excitement! Your heart's all like whoa! and the plant's all like snap! and your flesh is all like bluuuggh I'm dead!
    In other words, it's a monstrosity.
  • Monokuma reminds Makoto not to play with the sprinklers in the greenhouse, obliquely referring to Makoto's "darkest secret" back in Chapter 2:
    Monokuma: But you're not a little kid, right? You're too old to go running through sprinklers anyway. ...Or do you have some kind of water fetish!? I'm gonna tell everyone! Ahh-hahaha!
  • Aoi and Yasuhiro muse about the Dwindling Party that is the Hope's Peak student body:
    Yasuhiro: But still...it's just the six of us. That's barely enough for a decent volleyball team...
    Aoi: Hey! Don't be a sourpuss! We gotta think positive! Besides, even if one more person dies, we can still field a basketball team!
    Yasuhiro: That's like...reverse positive thinking...
  • Aoi and Yasuhiro talk about the sprinklers in the greenhouse, which gets derailed into a discussion about Yasuhiro's stupidity:
    Aoi: Well, you don't have to worry. They say idiots never catch colds, ya know.
    Yasuhiro: Of course not! Cuz idiots never get wet!
    Makoto: Umm...I think you're talking about ducks.
    Aoi: I'm starting to worry about you, Hiro. Can you tell me what ten plus ten is?
    Yasuhiro: Hey, come on! You don't ALWAYS have to call me dumb! I may have been held back three times, but that doesn't make me stupid! But if it'll make you happy, I'll answer your dumb question...! So! Um...what was the question again?
    Aoi: Don't worry. You just answered it...
  • Yasuhiro suggests using the lawnmower in the greenhouse tool shed to call for help by making crop circles.
  • This exchange during the group's attempt to break into the headmaster's office:
    Yasuhiro: I'm all flubbust—no... I'm totally flabbag—flapstaf—
    Genocider Syo: Fapsauce!?
  • Toko's wonderful explanation of the wolf tattoo on Chapter 5's victim:
    Toko: Her master m-must have made her get it...to be like, "You're my b-bitch."
  • Yasuhiro's dogged insistence that Kyoko is a ghost, forcing Makoto to prove that she's still alive, with Byakuya washing his hands of the whole debacle and Kyoko standing right there.
    Aoi: But...she has legs and stuff.
    Yasuhiro: Well that's just because...
    Yasuhiro: ...she's like the latest evolution in ghost technology!
    Byakuya: There's a limit to how much ridiculousness I can tolerate...
  • Toko's freakout, which forces Makoto to resort to a Bullet Time Battle to convince her it wasn't the sprinklers that got the victim's corpse wet:
    Toko: Are you saying o-only the mouth down south was wet!? How dare you spew s-such indecent words!
    Toko: By d-denying the sprinkler...are you trying to deny my e-entire existence!?
  • Yasuhiro's explanation for the corpse blowing up:
    Yasuhiro: I'll tell ya! I bet some unknown quantum particle caused an atomic-level spontaneous combustion!
    Aoi: I might be dumb, but even I'm not dumb enough to believe that!
  • The bad ending. You're not getting a description here, go look for yourself.
  • In the Zetsubou Translation, Monokuma gets bummed that he didn't get to make Makoto pancakes to go along with his Mondo butter when Makoto's execution fails.
  • Ramen Head Kyoko. That is all.
  • Makoto's paranoia over the chickens in the greenhouse, coupled with Yasuhiro's paranoia over plants.
    Makoto: They're...just regular chickens, right? Like, they don't eat people, or lay bombs instead of eggs, or something crazy like that...?
    ...
    Yasuhiro: Don't you get it!? Don't you realize...the true horror of plant life!? It's just there, just beneath the surface. Beneath their calm exterior, they're always watching, and waiting... And when they decide they can't leave us in charge of Earth anymore...they'll put their plan for global human extinction into action!

     Chapter 6 
  • When first confronted by Makoto and Kyoko in the gym after their escape, Monokuma uses a ton of especially lame bear puns in conversation with them.
  • After narrowly avoiding his own execution by getting thrown down a garbage chute in chapter 6, Makoto returns to the cafeteria to reunite with the group. They're all delighted to see him... until Byakuya points out just how putrid he smells. When the cutscene ends, their overworld sprites are as far away from the camera as the game engine will allow. Even better? The only one who's not that far away is Kyoko.
    • Toko has this to say if you decide to talk to her:
    Toko: This smell is s-so...smelly...! Ahaha! Super smelly! You smell even w-worse than me! Way worse than me! ...I win.
    • Yasuhiro asks Makoto if he went to the spirit world and spoke with Miss Cleo. Makoto expresses bewilderment.
  • Aoi thinks the door to the Monokuma control room is booby-trapped. She tells Makoto to go in first.
  • Aoi briefly assumes direct control over Monokuma: "Groooar! Gimme all yer donuts!" Then she finds the self-destruct button on the control panel. Makoto has to convince her not to push it.
  • When Genocider Syo reverts back to Toko prior to the start of the trial (right after declaring intent to kill the mastermind, no less):
    Kyoko: No human language can describe the disappointment I'm feeling right now.
  • During one of the Non-Stop Debates:
    Toko: You didn't d-deny me this timesy wimesy! Agh! You made me go all cutesy!
    Yasuhiro: Don't worry. There wasn't anything cute about it.
  • At one point in the final trial, Monokuma's shouts out two of Creator/Falcom's titles successively as an Oh Crap! reaction, which is Xanadu and Faxanadu. Even better? Those lines are voiced. Unfortunately, it loses some of its impact in the NISA translation, but "Xanadu times two" still has a ring to it...
  • Monokuma calling Celeste "Celestia Lu-whatever" (when he would otherwise refer to the other dead students by their full names) while listing the names of the dead students who could possibly be the mastermind.
  • What the Big Bad says after The Reveal. Also doubles as Mood Whiplash.
    If you swear your fealty to us, we will reward you with half of the entire world!
    We've even drawn up the deed already! We will grant you honor, status, and some of our home cooking!
  • The Big Bad's constant mood swings and tone changes in general. Of note are the angry, royal, Moe, and Monokuma personas. Even the Creepy Monotone persona has a few moments:
    "What's wrong with my beautiful face? People have told me I'm cuter than a hundred chihuahuas combined." (said completely with the aforementioned Creepy Monotone)
    • The sad persona also keeps repeating the word "super" when describing the despair she felt when she betrayed Mukuro. Even more Mood Whiplash.
    "It's like super super super super super despair. No, more than that... Super super super super super super super super super super super super super super super despair..."
  • While also pretty nightmarish, the reveal that society has turned into a dystopian Monokuma-themed world is incredibly surprising and kind of hilarious. Makoto's simple "What the..." response sums it up best.
  • Genocider Syo meets the Big Bad:
    "Who the hell are you!?"
    "Oh, um...I'm the mastermind."
    "Oh! Nice to meetcha!"
    "Ah...nice to meet you too."
    • Even better are their expressions. Syo goes from "pissed off" to "Nice to meet you!" in an instant, while the Big Bad is depressed and has mushrooms sprouting from her head.
    • Given how irreverent Genocider Syo is in general, her testimony regarding the Tragedy is a source of unintentional hilarity.
    Genocider Syo: Miss Morose saw it all play out in real-time, so why don't you ask her?
    Byakuya: We already did, and she didn't know anything! That's why we're asking you!
    Genocider Syo: Ahh! I couldn't live up to Master's expectations! To die, to die...! This is the true tragedy!
    Big Bad: *Creepy Monotone* Okay, okay, that's enough of your little lover's quarrel.
  • The Big Bad, on successfully baiting Byakuya by mentioning the Togami Corporation:
    "You bit into it like a middle-aged secretary at an all-you-can-eat cake buffet."
  • Yasuhiro's consternation on realizing that, if the revelations are correct, he's twenty-two (twenty-three in the NISA translation) and still in high school.
  • One of the pictures that Monokuma gives the characters showing their school life before their memories were erased includes Sakura pulling a Shoryuken on an inflatable shark with Hifumi thrown into the air.
    • Junko's face being accidentally covered up by Kiyotaka during a group photo is kind of funny, too. Until you find out it's a plot point.
    • Even better: In two of the other photos, Junko's face is hidden because she has her back turned to the camera. In the pool photo, however, it's hidden because she's getting splashed in the face by Leon. This goes further in the anime, where in Toko's wintertime picture she's being smacked in the face by a snowball.

    Epilogue 
  • After the final trial, Toko expresses her desire to have a child with Byakuya. Byakuya being, well, Byakuya, he has this to say in response:
    Byakuya: Please, stop. That would be a greater horror than anything I've encountered so far.
  • Nothing will get in the way of Aoi's preoccupation with donuts. NOTHING. Also pretty heartwarming and awesome, as it's a perfect demonstration of the hope that Makoto and the others had fought so hard for.
    Yasuhiro: And what're you gonna do if there *are* no donut shops? Or donuts?

     Free Time Events 
  • Yasuhiro's first scene in his social link has this little gem when he attempts to predict Makoto's future:
    Yasuhiro: It would appear that the mother of your children, and the mother of *my* children, are the same woman!
    Makoto: I refuse! Denied! Don't like it!
    • Since Yasuhiro says it was a "trial run," the "discount" he tried to give Makoto earlier doesn't apply. Said discount is just $100 off his usual going rate of $1000 for two hours, at least in the official English translation. Then Yasuhiro offers to do a second reading to check the veracity of the first one. Additional fees apply, of course. Given his self-proclaimed accuracy rate of 20%...
    • In any case, Makoto's desperate prayers afterwards sell it even further. Also want to know something funnier? Make the wrong choice and this ends up happening at the end of chapter 5.
  • In Yasuhiro's third Free Time Event, when he asks Makoto about UMAs, Makoto can reply with "Thurman."
    • And in his last scene he asks for Makoto's kidney, or failing that his identity.
  • In Celeste's free time events, you can listen to her talk about her gambling exploits, all of which seem to be ripped straight out of various manga. One of them, she describes as the greatest crisis she ever went through... only she suddenly diverges from the story to talk about how she accidentally spilled tea on her dress during the tournament. The rest of her tale is about how she barely managed to get to the dry-cleaners in time to remove the stain.
  • In Celeste's last Free Time event, she asks Makoto to come to her room to talk about something. Once there, she immediately announces that she is carrying his baby.
    Makoto: *to himself* You can't just say stuff like that!
    • There's also Celeste's ranking system. Makoto now ranks as a C, which Celeste claims is a great honor. Makoto's inner monologue isn't too impressed, though.
  • During Aoi's last free time event, she asks Makoto to pretend to be her boyfriend so she can have some practice when she finally finds a partner. When Makoto asks what to do, Aoi pauses, and then announces they should "begin":
    Aoi: Oh, darling! You're home! Are you ready for dinner? Or should I get a bath going?
    Makoto: Wait, Hina... That's more like a stereotypical 1950s married couple than anything...
    • But then it gets even better:
    Aoi: Oh... Different approach, then? W-Well...You lied to me! You said you left your wife!
    Makoto: That's even worse...
  • In one of Leon's events, he loudly expresses his dream of becoming a punk rock star, and Makoto thinks that he can't criticize that passion... and then the background music cuts out with a slam as Leon reveals it's all because he's trying to get a date. His last event has him claiming he's been "brainwashed by baseball" in an attempt to deny that he actually misses playing.
  • When Mondo asks whether Makoto prefers cats or dogs, he can Take a Third Option and reply "Bears." Mondo is not amused.
  • Makoto manages to keep Kiyotaka from confiscating his trendy hoodie by claiming the hood doubles as a safety helmet.
  • Hifumi's third Free Time Event involves him going through Diet Coke withdrawal, complete with hallucinations.
  • Genocider Syo's nicknaming tendencies go Up to Eleven in Free Time Events. Apart from Big Mac in the trials, Makoto gets saddled with the names Mahkyutie, Mackie Chan, Macoco Chanel, and Macarena.
    • Pretty much anything to do with Syo results in some hilarious line, most often just from passing time with her. This post highlights a few of them.
    • A highlight of highlights: Makoto and Syo chasing Byakuya around the school together. It's a tremendous pity they don't have CGs for free time.
  • Some of the details on who likes what presents (full descriptions here). Chihiro's into punk rock. Byakuya likes the game where you play a wrathful smite-happy god as well as the underwear made for those with nice derrieres. It's possible to troll everyone with presents they absolutely hate. Then there's the Yonkoma where Makoto spams Celeste with rose whips until she wonders if he's insinuating something.
  • Kyoko's third free time event. Makoto attempts to tease her by saying her smile is pretty, and she pretends to get flustered over it (even blushing on command). After gloating over the reaction he got, she freaks out at him and calls him cruel for being emotionally manipulative. When she's finished listening to him apologize to her, she tells him his attempts at manipulation are easy to read, and walks away calm as ever (teasing and manipulating him back).
    "I'm no match for her... not a chance...

     School Mode 
  • In the new set of free time "trips", Mukuro Ikusaba has an increasing amount of trouble keeping her secret, as she absently lets slip details like her camouflage suit and her knife-throwing skills. Backpedaling follows.
    Makoto: Do you know how to cook?
    Junko: Well... I know how to build a fire to heat up rations. Er-! What I meant to say is, I make a mean beef stew!
  • A possible exchange on a "trip" to the dining hall:
    Makoto: What are you into these days...?
  • Kyoko becomes pretty competitive when Makoto challenges her to a game of Othello.
    "But to be so cavalier with your invitation... Do you think you stand a chance? I won't go easy on you, you know. I'm not a big fan of losing. But you should know, Makoto... your face always reveals what you're thinking, plain as day."
    • She also goes into thought over the implications of the chicken coop's presence.
    "Indeed, it's a chicken coop. But who's been taking care of them? It would be difficult to get them to breed without at least a little help. It couldn't be Monokuma... could it? Why would a bear bother taking care of a bunch of birds...? Hmhm, I must admit, the thought is rather funny."
  • The default ending. Possibly with a side of Fridge Horror, as the students all leave alive but appear to have no idea what happened to the outside world.
  • Genocider Syo trolling Makoto.
    Makoto: Doesnít your tongue ever feel dry?
    Syo: Oh, how good of you to realize! The truth is... if I donít constantly drench my tongue in fresh blood... Iíll end up dying! Such is my fragile life! Because I was born with such a condition, I was forced into the tragic fate of repeated killings...
    Syo:... like hell thatís true, dumbass! If it gets dry, Iíll just use the sprinklers here or some shit.
  • The second Monokuma backup: the Monokuma Entertainment System. More accurately: the Monofurby. Upon being booted up, it immediately claims that its life is a travesty and, upon being smashed by Monokuma, yells "Sweet release!"
    Looks like the MES is blasting off...again?
  • The back-up for Monokumadult is plenty amusing.
    Monokuma: Huh? This thing looks just like me. Wait... what's this on the back? A zipper? And... is that a voice I hear coming from inside?
    (banging noises) Help me... Someone... help me...
    Makoto: (I think I just heard something I don't think I wanted to hear...)
    Monokuma: ... Listen, is everyone present and accounted for? Nobody missing? Okay, just making sure...
    (more banging noises)
    Monokuma: I guess I'll just pretend I didn't hear anything!
  • The gift of underpants following a character's School Mode ending is pretty funny, but Junko Enoshima/Mukuro Ikusaba's is particularly hilarious given her unique background. It's plain, durable, bullet-proof and blade-resistant... but apparently not spear-proof.
  • When one thinks about it, the fact that it was the students themselves that put together all those dysfunctional Monokuma models, culminating in a replica of Usami. So it was someone's idea to build multiple bickering heads to "multitask", the Monofurby, solar panels for the Ecokuma when they're shut in the school with no access to sunlight... And considering a number of them talk and possibly have rudimentary AI, maybe Chihiro is more of a smartass than we thought.
  • In Chihiro's ending, he finally reveal that he's a guy but Makoto assume he's joking. What does Chihiro do? Force him to touch that certain place. No not where Sakura touches but Chihiro forces him to touch his chest.

     Anime 
  • Monokuma dancing in the opening song. It's been compared to the dancing girls in the opening credits of James Bond films.
  • Monokuma in episode 2 'portraying' some possible executions like electric chair, poison gas or slashing hurricane. It was very fun and you'd probably wish it happens FOR REAL to that little ***er...
  • During the first class trial Celestia asks who Sakura is because she has forgotten what she looks like, when Sakura introduces herself all sounds stops at once for a couple of seconds so we can absorb her character design.
    • The game also adds up how Aoi said that she invited Sakura into her room... and then there's still someone in denial:
    Kiyotaka: It IS a problem! A boy and a girl spending the night together!? It's... it's unwholesome!
    Sakura: But... I'm a girl.
    Kiyotaka: Wh-!? You are!? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!!
  • Mondo and Kiyotaka tell Makoto to forget about their "battle", because now they are bros. Then Kiyotaka does THIS:
  • The opening to episode 4 in the Anime. Crack doesnt even begin to describe it.
  • Byakuya's facial expressions in The Animation are absolutely sidesplitting, particularly when Genocider Syo insults him and when he finds out Chihiro is a guy. Not to mention how on certain occasions when he's insulted, he repeats the insult (i.e. "ugly glasses") in an apparent state of disbelief.
  • When Yasuhiro sees the Bloodbath Fever message.
    Yasuhiro: It's a shining message!
    Aoi: I don't think that's the right wordÖ
  • Genocider Syo explaining why she wishes she was the one who killed Chihiro during episode 5.
    Genocider Syo: (After Chihiro's crossdressing has been revealed) Damn, that's freaking hot! I wish I killed him.
  • Episode 5's execution turns into Black Comedy when watching it on Hulu, because it can cut from Mondo being fried and turned into pancakes to a commercial where a family is being serenaded by The Flaming Lips as they eat pancakes.
  • In Episode 6 of the anime Yasuhiro can be seen giggling and poking the breasts of a Venus de Milo-esque statue.
  • Again from Episode 6, when Genocider Syo appears randomly out of the infirmary curtain during the investigation. It has to be seen to be believed.
  • Episode 8: the reaction shots to Byakuya apparently chugging down a bottle of poison. Shock, horror... and an utterly blank-faced Kyoko, then a dozing Monokuma waking up with a start.
  • Episode 9, when the students are disassembling Monokuma, Yasuhiro pulls out its bomb... which has a vibration sensor that can set it off.
    Byakuya: I forgot to mention this, but I already shut the sensor off.
    Everyone: [breath of relief]
    Yasuhiro: Eh eh... eh eh eh- DON'T GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK!
  • Monokuma beating a fish.
  • In episode eleven, Makoto tries to wake Toko who is passed out on the floor, only for her to leap up and reveal that she's currently Syo with some cackles and flamboyant poses... and when we cut back to Makoto, he's just standing there, and says "Genocider Syo..." with the most bored, unaffected face. This is commonplace to him by now.
  • Episode 12 has Toko show the others her group picture, taken during the winter. Leon's adapting his baseball talents to rapid-fire snowballs against Mondo, Kiyotaka, Hifumi and Yasuhiro all at once, Byakuya appears to be giving orders regarding Sakura and Aoi's giant snowman-in-progress, and in the instant of the picture another snowball nails Junko in the face.

     Various 
  • Very darkly funny, but during every one of Monokuma's executions, Monokuma deliberately inserts a humorous event into it. Chapter by chapter, here they are:
    • In chapter 1, after Leon Kuwata is executed, we get a montage of everyone having shocked faces at how cruel the execution was, and Monokuma's own shocked face appears in the lineup. Furthermore, Monokuma spinning a bat like a whirlwind with a baseball cap on is absolutely sidesplittingly hilarious.
    • In chapter 2, Monokuma begins Mondo Oowada's execution with his own copy of Mondo's "corncob pompadour" hairstyle. As a matter of fact, the entire execution is just a mix of horror and hilarity, with Monokuma goddamn hula hooping during the execution, and the product being Mondo butter. "2X the fat!"
    • In chapter 3, before Celestia Ludenberg can burn to death at the stake, Monokuma turns the whole thing into a ridiculous farce by sending a fire truck to put out the fire, complete with big honking sign shouting "Help! Help! Help!" and after the fire truck rams Celes to death, Monokuma puts out the one tiny remaining flame with a fire hose.
    • In chapter 4, as Monokuma is using a bulldozer to crush Alter Ego's laptop into a ball, we get some brief shots of Monokuma joyfully messing with the controls as though he's playing a video game.
    • In chapter 5, the chalkboard professor-Monokuma is using to teach the about-to-be-crushed-Kyoko-or-Makoto a lesson changes midway through. It starts off as a diagram of the crushing machine the conveyor belt is pulling them towards, but midway through the execution video it changes to a sexual education lesson on conception.
  • Pretty much any time Toko indulges in her one-sided S&M relationship with Byakuya is either creepy or hilarious (or hilariously creepy).
  • Byakuya himself has a wonderful sprite for instances of discombobulation.
  • If you're the sort of person who compulsively examines everything in the game world, some of Makoto's interactions with the objects can be quite funny, especially if you keep checking them as the game progresses. Things to look out for include (but certainly aren't limited to) the school swimsuit in the laundry room, the pile of veggies and the deli counter in the kitchen, and the vending machines. Makoto also likes to snark about the ubiquitous monitors and surveillance cameras all over the school whenever inspiration strikes.
    Makoto: *looking at the school swimsuit* Despite everything, seeing it still makes my heart beat a little faster. That feeling is eternal.
    Makoto: *looking at the pile of veggies* Are these supposed to get me excited? What am I, some kind of hippy-dippy all-organic celebrity type?
  • In the manga, Celeste's Imagine Spot of the surviving boys as her butlers. Makoto has a monocle!
  • A number of the wrong answers during the multiple-choice sections of the trial can be these. Examples include, but aren't limited to, claiming you knew Mondo was the culprit because you hate him, claiming that a pair of pants were the intended recipient of a note, and implying that some mysterious sneaker prints are the work of Leon's ghost.
  • This official crossover art with Super Dangan Ronpa 2 and Dangan Ronpa Zero features Kirigiri Jin playing mahjong... against two Ultimate Lucks and the Ultimate Gambler. And if you look closely at Komaeda's hand, it is the Pure Nine Gates, probably the single rarest hand possible in mahjong.