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Funny: CSI: NY
  • The failed Police Brutality Gambit that a random suspect tries (he bashes his forehead into a table top). Mac tells the suspect that he beat himself up for no reason.
  • The scene in 'Super Men' with Danny and Lindsay...Lindsay's rattling off football trivia about the vic, and Danny says it's dangerous that she knows about football because he might ask her to marry him. Jump ahead two seasons and...
  • Similarly, Mac and Danny's exchange in 'Until Death Do Us Part'.
    Mac: It could happen to you, you know
    Danny: What, marriage?
    Mac: Love.
    Danny: Come on, Mac, don't scare me that way.
    • I dare anyone to watch that now without laughing like crazy. I bet Danny never expected he'd get married in 5 years.
  • The giant doll.
  • The episode Child's Play was a downer, but it had one very funny scene with Lindsay and Flack going back and forth being ripped off by Laughing Larry. It all culminated in an even funnier scene where Larry squirt's Flack's tie. Flack tells him "Do that again I'll have you brought in for assaulting a police officer"
  • Flack has many great one liners.
  • Getting a reflection off an eyeball.
  • The Robospanker...it generated a lot of fan jokes.
  • "Grand Master":
    DJ Francais: What, am I under arrest?
    Mac: Oui.
  • "Tri-Borough":
    Mac: *silence*
  • "The Closer":
    Mac: It sounds so much better in Greek.
    Stella: Most things do. note 
  • "Blacklist":
    (Det. Taylor and Det. Flack have just burst into a perp's apartment; said perp begins running and steps right on one of his heroin needles)
    Junior Mosley: Ow! No! Let me take it out first!
    Don Flack: Afraid I can't let you do that.
    Junior: Why?!
    Mac Taylor: The syringe is evidence of drug use. We'll have to document it where we found it.
    Flack: *snaps a picture of the syringe stuck in Junior's foot* Now one for the Jackass of the Year Award. *snaps a picture of Junior's face*
    (Flack's expression in the last line really sells the gallows humor of this scene)
  • "It Happened to Me":
    (At the "sploshing party")
    Flack: This takes place every day at lunch?
    Party Coordinator: Yes. We've just added dinner parties on Friday and Saturday nights. I can get you a membership application.
    Flack: (Horrified look) God, no. Thank you.
  • "Pot of Gold": Adam Ross sniffing the bar of gold and getting a disapproving stare from the Federal Reserve guard.
  • "Unfriendly Chat":
    Mac: No, no, no, no, no. You, uh, you do your own homework and turn this thing off.
    Kid doing Homework: You must not have kids.
  • "The Untouchable":
    Lindsay: How much of a pompous ass you and your club pals are? Do you think money can get you out of murder?
    Keith De Young: No. Look, I don't know anything, okay? I just do what I'm told.
    Lindsay: Oh, so you're a pompous lackey ass?
  • "Do or Die":
    Headmaster: Our school crest... a symbol of our history. Founded in 1918, the Archford Academy has always been a beacon for academic integrity.
    (Montage of high school students having sex, dealing drugs and cheating on tests ensues)
  • "Air Apparent": Flack is mocking the veracity of the suspect's alibi.
    Flack: Your Honor, I'd like to call my next witnesses - Two Tooth Willy and Crackhead Pooky.
  • "No Good Deed": After a bird drops a human eyeball into Stella's coffee cup.
    Flack: Did you get a description of the bird?
  • "Food for Thought": At a crime scene, Lindsay complains about how hungry she is, and proceeds to recite to Danny a long list of food items that she wants. As Danny turns to walk away, he suddenly has a thought and slowly turns back to face her, wondering if Lindsay's hungry because she's pregnant again; she assures him that she isn't.
    • Later, Lindsay is in the lab, examining evidence from the crime scene. Danny comes to the lab entrance, dangling a paper bag containing the burger that she earlier had said that she wanted. When Lindsay tells him to bring her the burger, he reminds her that they can't have food in the lab. Lindsay then proceeds to bring Danny her findings so far, and then when Danny remarks that more lab work will be needed, she tells him that he'd better get busy, grabs the bag from him, and runs.
    Danny (calling after Lindsay): Hey, wait! Come on! (waggles a finger) Save me a French fry.
  • The fake polygraph scene in "Damned if You Do", from Adam posing as the official administering the test to Jo counting down how fast it takes the suspect to crack and confess before Adam even starts asking questions.

CSI: Crime Scene InvestigationFunny/Live-Action TVCurb Your Enthusiasm

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