Funny: Con Air

  • "Why couldn't you have put the bunny back in the box?"
  • Poor Malloy's face as he watches his car flying away.
    "Isn't that your car, Malloy?"
    "Can't be. I left mine at the office".
    • And then he looks at the license plate after it lands roughly back on the ground, and realizes that it was his car.
  • "On any other day, that might seem strange. . ."
  • Cyrus's above song to Larkin, after he shot the undercover agent.
    "Oh... Nothing makes me sadder than the agent lost his bladder in the airrrrrrplane!"
  • Cyrus laying out the plan:
    Cyrus: (pointing to different makeshift models) This is the boneyard. This is the caravan. And this is our plane.
    Convict: (pointing) What's that?
    Cyrus: ...That's a rock. (flicks it off the 'map')
    Convict: ...Okay.
  • Pinball's body crashing into a moving car.
    "I don't think he's an astronaut."
  • He's got the whole world, in His hands, He's got the whole wild world, in His hands, He's got the whole world...
    • (When Garland starts singing "He's Got The Whole World in his Hands") "Shut the fuck up, you freak! We're gonna die!"
      • Another inmate makes the sign of the cross while Garland is singing.
  • "Define 'irony'...a bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash..."
  • Cyrus trolling Larkin.
    Larkin: Where are you going with my plane, Cyrus?
    Cyrus: We're going to Disneyland.
    Larkin: You're lying, Cyrus.
  • "Hi, Garland."
  • "You know what I am?" "Ugly all day".
  • "New shooter coming out, new shooter. Does the new shooter feel lucky? Well, does he?"
    • "Yes. Yes, he does."
  • Cameron vs. Sally Can't Dance. He winds up as if to throw a punch, stops, and uses an open-handed slap to the face instead.
  • Casey sends a letter telling Poe all about her daycare. She says that when they go outside, they all have to hold hands. Poe's reply is "We don't have a play time like you. We do get to go outside, though, but we don't hold hands."
  • Pinball's response to finding out that Swamp Thing knows how to fly planes: "It's amazing the shit you white trash know."
  • Cyrus' surprise that Baby-O is diabetic.
    Cyrus: "You have been near death the entire trip?"
  • "Swamp, where is the transponder?" *gasp* "Where indeed?"
  • "I hope he likes sand."
    • And the payoff to a Brick Joke. When the plane takes off again and flies overhead, he's still running.
  • Poe and Baby-O getting startled when Garland talks for the first time.
  • Billy asking Cyrus if he's lost his mind.
    Cyrus: "According to my last psych evaluation, yes."