- Woody Allen as Jimmy Bond. All of it.
Jimmy Bond: (as he's being led to a firing squad) You can't shoot me! I have a very low threshold of death. My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- The main villain's diabolical plan: to release a virus that would make all women beautiful and kill every man taller than he is. Considering Jimmy Bond is the shortest character in the whole movie, this is a dangerously lethal diabolical plan.
- During the Mind Screw Le Chiffre imposes on Peter Sellers' Bond, Bond imagines himself marching about with Scottish bagpipers. When one of the bagpipers asks Bond if he is Richard Burton, Bond replies "No, I'm Peter O'Toole." To which the bagpiper answers "Then you're the finest man that ever breathed!"