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Funny: Californication
  • The Apartment. A little blue kimono. Enough said.
  • Season 4. Episode 4. That is all.
    • THAT MONKEY WAS A DEVIANT AND A COCKBLOCKER!
    • SILENCE AGENT!
    • "I want to shoot you in the dick with a paintball gun."
    • "Anyone else want to get high?" Cue Hank, Charlie, and Stu raising their hands.
      • And later on:
      Abby: How high are you right now?
      Hank: Significantly.
  • Season 5, episode 7:
    Bates: Why must two men be confined to handshakes and hugs? What happens when that's not enough?
    Hank: You come out of the closet!
    Bates: For such a fine man you're so damn limited.
  • When Hank's alleged son is born and happens to be black, Hank celebrates it like a football player after scoring a goal. The moustached man "Dalí" is also content.
    Wooohooya, the baby is black Karen! Baby is black! Goddamit I knew I didn't knock her up!
  • "Charlie, are you inside that woman?"
  • Almost every appearance of Crazy Awesome Eddie Nero. Special mention to his "I put a man in my mouth" Method Acting speech.
    • Particularly amusing is his insistance on greeting Hank by coming out of nowhere and tackling him to the ground. After he does this in front of Atticus in season 6 the following conversation takes place:
    Atticus: Can I have a go at that? I quite like the idea of tackling Hank.
    Eddie: No man, that's MY thing!
  • The real estate agent's "role-playing fantasies" with Charlie.
  • When Charlie is fired, he barges in ready to go down with a fight, only to be presented with devastating evidence of his jerking around. His "one time" defense doesn't fly and finally leaves from where he came. Runkle is ankling, huuuuuuh!!!
  • Charlie jizzing in his pants during a lap dance; he first tries to justify it "You were grinding!" and then tries to pass it off as a compliment.


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