Carl's story about being a "looper for the Dalai Lama".
Carl: So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one - big hitter, the Lama - long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? "Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-lagunga". So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that going for me, which is nice...
Rodney steals Judge Smails' wife and starts dancing with her:
Al: Hey, baby, I bet you were something before electricity!
Smails: You, sir, are no gentleman!
Al: Yeah, I'm no doorknob, either!