Ray could probably fill this entire page.
Dave: Buon giorno, papa!
Ray: I'm not your 'papa', I'm your goddamned father. And she's your goddamned mother.
Ray: He's never tired. He's never miserable.
Evelyn: He's young.
Ray: When I was young, I was tired and miserable!
Ray: What is this?
Evelyn: It's sauteed zucchini.
Ray: It's I-tey food. I don't want no I-tey food!
Evelyn: It's not. I got it at the A&P. It's like...squash.
- And then there's when he goes to yell at Dave for playing his music too loud, only to come back looking stunned:
Ray: He's shaving.
Ray: His legs. He's shaving his legs!
- And near the end, when Ray reveals Evelyn is pregnant:
Dave: You mean we might be a father?
Ray: No. I might be a father. And your mom might be a mother. And you might be a brother. See, that way I keep it all in the family.
Moocher: Wow, that's great! Hey, I didn't think people your age...
Ray: Uh, the next word may be your last, kid!
Then there's Cyril:
Cyril: I sure miss playing basketball. I got depressed as hell when my athlete's foot and jock itch went away.
- Then there's when Mike's brother warns Mike not to hot-rod around the campus. He then asks how the others are doing:
Cyril: Well, we're a little disturbed by the developments in the Middle East, but...
Mike: That's the place to be right there, Wyoming! Nothin' but prairies and mountains and nobody around. All you need is your bed roll and a good horse.
Cyril: Don't forget your toothbrush; you're still in your cavity-prone years.
Cyril: You know what I'd like to be?
Mike: Smart. (laughs at his own joke)
Cyril: A cartoon of some kind. You know, like when they get hit in the head with a frying pan or something, and their head looks like the frying pan, with the handle and everything? They they just go *booiing* and their head comes back to normal. Wouldn't that be great?
Mike: How'd you get to be so stupid, Cyril?
I don't know. (Beat
) I guess I just have a dumb heredity. What's your excuse, Michael?