- The Shyguys and their antics are always good for a laugh. It helps that every single one of them sounds like Christopher Walken.
- Kamek's flying lessons.
Kamek: Now get on your brooms and think happy thoughts! Like titties!
Hal and Jeff: *jump off a cliff and plummet into the abyss* Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Kamek: What are you, gay?
- Anytime the Inaudible Thwomp speaks, Hilarity Ensues.
- Lemmy Koopa's Quirky Miniboss Squad in episode 3 was quite disfunctional. Mario easily mopped the floor with them on his way to Lemmy. In fact, only Lemmy himself put up a real fight.
- The Dry Bones told Mario to go suck a dick before being turned into a pile of bones.
- The Inaudible Thwomp shouted down at Mario to get under him for a good half minute before Mario went an alternate route. If you can understand what he's saying, it's even funnier.
- Hot Head is restricted to moving around a single platform. He has a short, humorous Heroic B.S.O.D. when Mario makes it past, which involves him letting go of the platform.
- Big Boo also suffers from the weaknesses of the other Boos. When Mario encounters Big Boo, he turns around to let it draw near, then faces it again while passing beneath it.
Well, that ain't fair. That's just mean-spirited
, that's what that is. YOU SUCK!
- Karate Duo Number 1 drops down from the ceiling to get the drop on Mario. They shout their battle cry with weapons drawn and then are set ablaze by two fireballs.
- Hell, the opening to the episode, where Hal is driving an injured Jeff to a doctor, is funny:
Hal: You're hurt! You're hurt really fucking bad but you ain't dying!
Jeff: All the blood is scaring the shit outta me... I'm gonna die, I know it!
Hal: Oh... excuse me! I didn't realize you had a degree in medicine... are you a doctor?! Are you a doctor?! Answer me please! ARE YOU A DOCTOR?!
Jeff: No... I'm not.
Hal: Ah... so you admit you have no fucking clue what you're talking about! So if you're through giving me your amateur opinion, lie back and listen to the news! I'm taking you back to the rendezvous, Joe's gonna get you a doctor, and the doctor's gonna fix you up and you're gonna be okay! Now say it... you're gonna be okay! *Jeff squeals* Say it! You're gonna be okay! *Jeff squeals again* Say it! SAY IT! YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY! SAY THE GODDAMNED FUCKING WORDS!! YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY!!
Jeff: ...I'm okay. I'm okay, Larry... I'm okay.
: Correct... correct... *Beat
* Wait... who's Larry?
- This exchange from Episode 7:
Hal: If I can take down a large gorilla wearing a tie, then I can definately take down some German turtle!
Chomp Bro.: I'm Austrian! HIYAAAH!
- From the same episode, the third place winners (Team Piranha Plant, which consists of Steve and his cousin Petey Piranha) get a lifetime supply milk. Then Steve points out that Petey is lactose intolerant, followed by Petey vomiting offscreen.
- Episode 6:
- Jeff going through a series of minion replacements, one of which is a Metroid. Jeff doesn't even know what that thing is.
- I WILL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!! ....As soon as I jump over these barrels!
- Ganon attempts to get welfare:
Ganon: I am Ganon! Lord of Evil! King of Darkness! Wielder of the Triforce of Power!
Rick: That's too long, I'll just put you down as "Angry Blue Pig." Abilities?
Ganon: I have apocalyptic powers, that can destroy Hyrule, and any lands that I wish to conquer!
Rick: I'm sorry, seems you don't qualify for welfare, you'll have to leave.
Ganon: WHAT!? I am the Lord of Darkness! You will not get rid of me like some pitiful moblin! I WILL BURN THIS WHOLE WORLD DOWN!!
Rick: Yes, that's all well and nice, NEXT!!
- Mouser steals Hal's sack:
Hal: Hey! He took my sack!
Kamek: What are you, gay?
- After Hal sees Jeff's new partner:
Hal: So this is what happens? I leave, and you replace me with a monkey, in a tie!
- After the credits, Hal acts as Donkey Kong's therapist:
Rick: So tell me, why do you eat these bananas? (Donkey Kong points at his banana) No thank you, I don't want a banana, can we talk about your problems? (Donkey Kong points at his banana again) These grunts you make. Is it because you're angry? (Donkey Kong shows Rick his banana) No, I STILL don't want a banana. (Donkey Kong points at his banana AGAIN. Rick grabs out his Geno doll) Listen, I have this doll. Point to this doll where your father touched you. (Donkey Kong, angered by this, pummels Rick)
- The entirety of the Halloween episode. Highlights include.
- Jeff trying to warn Hal of the zombies, but Hal doesn't listen:
Jeff: Dude, you're not gonna believe this.
Hal: I know, a blue hedgehog in shoes, can you believe that shit?
Jeff: No, there's a bunch of dead guys walking around eating people.
Jeff: They're eating them alive!
Jeff: And then they turn into more of them!
Hal: Ohhh, they gotta die!
Jeff: Yeah, let's go on a zombie hunt!
- Hal shooting the merchant at the gun shop because...
Hal: I don't have enough money to buy a gun!
- The zombie Koopa and Shy Guy approaching Hal, which leads into this:
Hal: Oh shit, there are some now!
Shy Guy: I'm a zombie now! Ughhhh!!!
Jeff: Wait a minute, zombies can't talk!
Shy Guy: Oh... okay! Ughhhh!
- Jeff destroys the Koopa and Shy Guy zombie by shooting a cannonball at them:
Hal: Now why didn't I think of that?
Jeff: Cause you're a frickin' idiot.
Hal: You ass... I think we should get outta here.
- Hal tells Jeff to use his head as in thinking of a plan to get rid of the zombies, but Jeff takes it literally and bashes the zombies with his head:
Hal: That's not what I meant!!
Jeff: Are ya... are ya serious?
Hal: Yeah man, shooting yourself out of a cannon into a horde of zombies! What are you, fucking retarded?!
Jeff: Well it worked, didn't it?
Hal: Alright, I'll give ya that.
- Jeff and Hal's conversation with the Dry Bones. Enough said.
- Geno, Big Boo, and the Inaudible Thwomp give their explanations as to why the zombie invasion is happening. All that needs to be said is that all three are hilarious.
You see, it all started with this company called "Parasol
- The zombified Steve the Piranha Plant eating Geno.
Steve: HI GUYS!!!! *eats Geno*
- Geno wiping out the zombies in one ending.
Geno: Miss me, motherfuckers?! Now you know why I'm awesome!
- The alternate ending, where Jeff and Hal are turned into zombies:
Hal: *while eating Luigi's corpse* Hey, you know it's not so bad. I mean look at the perks. Don't feel pain, eternal life, and all the flesh that we can eat!
Jeff: Yeah, well I just wish I wasn't decaying so much. We totally smell like ass!
* Are you gonna finish that leg?
- Also in the alternate ending, Mario is seen running from a zombified Wario.
- From The Movie: "KILL THE TRAITORS!!!"
- Episode 4
- When Hal tried to contact accounting about him never getting paid:
: (looking at laptop) Who the hell is Hal? DELETED!
- After Hal tells Steve that the world would be a better place if Steve put a bag on his head and killed himself, Steve takes his advice:
Steve: (with a paper bag on his head) HI GUYS!!!!
Hal: Hi, Steve...
Steve: So what am I supposed to do now?
Steve: Oooooohh...am I dead yet?
Hal: No you moron, you need to get a plastic bag. Man you suck so much you can't even kill yourself right!
Steve: I'm sorry, I'll try harder next time.
Jeff: Oh, you better. (he and Hal fly off)
Steve: Gee, those guys are swell.
- Jeff and Hal crash into Paul Hammerbro:
Paul: Ah, you gotta be kidding me!
Hal: Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I guess I didn't look where I was going.
Paul: Didn't look where you were going? You're in a giant flying clown face, how could you not look where you were going!?
Jeff: It's just that, we got distracted by a plant with a bag over its head.
Paul: Oh that's what they all say! You know you got a lot of nerve feeding me that kind of bull! God, it just makes me so mad I wanna throw hammers!
Hal: Hey, hey, hey, hey, there's no need to throw hammers over this, it's just a little ding, it can buffer out.
Paul: Yeah, but I still want some compensation, who insures you?
Jeff: Umm...I don't know, it's not our copter. We're just parking it.
Paul: Then who's copter is it? I wanna talk to him!
Hal: Uggghhhhh...(he grabs a Mechakoopa) It's his copter, you can ask him all about it.
Paul: Finally some answers. Hey, wait a minute! That's it! I'm throwin' hammers!
- After the credits, Rick Finkelstein is acting as Paul's therapist:
Rick: So tell me, when you are angry, why do you throw these hammers?
Paul: Well you see, I have an unlimited supply of hammers. And when I'm mad, said supply needs a throwing.
Rick: How many hammers do you throw?
Paul: Well it depends on how mad I am. Could be three, could be 436, like I said, I have an unlimited supply, so there's no need to be conserve.
Rick: Now when...when you throw these hammers, are you just really throwing yourself?
Paul: What the hell are you talking about?
Rick: (grabs a Geno doll) I have this doll. Point to this doll where your father touched you.
Paul: WHAT!? MY FATHER NEVER TOU—
Rick: There's no need to be sensitive, just to point the doll's butt, I already know that's where he did it.
Paul: Shut up! You know you're getting me angry! Hammer-angry!
Rick: You're angry because your dad touched you in the butt, aren't you?
Paul: Agggh, I'm about to throw some hammers! I'm thinking twelve!
Rick: C'mon, point to the doll.
Paul: AGGGGHHHH! (throws hammers at Rick)
- The alternate ending for Episode 10 presents a bloopers video of the Hammer Bro saying "That's it, I'm throwing X!" in lots of variations (e. mallets, screwdrivers, goombas), but these three are probably the best.
Hammer Bro: That's it! I'm throwing up! *barfs on the floor*
Hammer Bro: That's it! I'm throwing a tantrum! BWAAAAH, BWAAAAH. I WANT IT BWAAAAH, WAAAAAH.
Hammer Bro: That's it! I'm throwing a party! *epic music plays as background flashes*
- "Don't think that just because I'm old, that I can't still whoop your asses." —Frogfucius