Funny: Boris Johnson
- Pick a Boris quote. Any Boris quote.
- “The French looked at a dining table and saw the opportunity to have dinner. We looked at the dining table and saw the opportunity to play Wiff Waff!!”
- "Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3."
- "My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive."
- Boris gave a speech to an audience of (mostly young and female) Olympic staff thanking them for their work, and attempted to make the wry comment "Now let's have an orgy of celebration", only for the microphone, with a great sense of comic timing, to cut off in exactly the wrong place...
- After getting angry at council members not posing questions to him directly, he called them "great supine protoplasmic invertebrate jellies".