- In "The Scare in the Score", the episode opens with a woman running screaming through the woods. She is talking on the phone screaming that "He's still after me!" making viewer believe a killer is after her. Cut to a wide shot and it shows she is only being chased by a raccoon and is calling her boyfriend or husband.
- In "The Maggots in the Meathead", every time Bones starts talking about how the "Guido's" are acting from purely anthropological viewpoint.
- Brennan, while chasing a male suspect, tries a little cop-talk;
Brennan: Stop or I'll kick you in the testicles!
Suspect: What did you hit me with?
- "God is a little formal, Hodgins is fine."
- Angela introducing herself to a "bomb squad bombshell" who caught Hodgins' eye.
Angela: Hi, I'm Angela Montenegro. I do facial reconstructions (nods toward Hodgins) and him.
- Any time Booth is under painkillers and/or vaccines.
- The whole Fanservice saga in "The Goop on the Girl" (the 2009 Christmas episode). Was it really necessary to wheel Booth around in nothing but his funky socks and boxers on a lab cart? No. But it was hilarious.
Uh, are we doing experiments on Booth? Because if so, I'd love to help. Booth:
Go ahead, make fun of the naked guy
, knock yourself out.
- The kicker is Hodgins's statement: "Where's your chest hair?"
Booth: I'm highly evolved.
- "The Devil in the Details". Hodgins is conducting a test to see if nunchucks are the murder weapon. He literally knocks himself out - he nails himself in the face with them and spends the rest of the scene dazed, confused, and hanging onto the edge of the table until he passes out.
- Then Arastoo walks up, picks up the nunchucks, and demonstrates them effortlessly. Complete with kung-fu music. And a dramatic music cut when Hodgins gets KO-ed.
Hodgins: What are you, some kind of Persian ninja?
- Later in that episode, Bones is talking to one of the doctors at the asylum and finds that they have quite a bit in common, including a disdain for the less-than-empirical nature of psychology. Just as the doctor is about to give her a tour, Bones learns that the doctor is actually a patient there, who is under the delusion that he is a psychologist. The look on her face is priceless.
- Booth and Brennan, needing to get a form signed, walking in on Sweets and Daisy in a compromising position. Their reactions to one another are the best.
Booth: (casually) Can you sign this?
Sweets: Are you serious!?
- And later, when Daisy tries to explain to Brennan what happened:
Daisy: I don't want you to think that Lance and I are dating again, because we're not. That was purely accidental intercourse.
Brennan: You had intercourse accidentally? What were you trying to do, miss Wick?
Daisy: I was returning a book.
Brennan: And your pants fell off?
- Another Daisy one, in "The Skull in the Sculpture", when they need to find evidence of a murder or the body (in the sculpture) is taken away.
Caroline: Any ideas?
Daisy: (dead serious) I will think about it until my head explodes!
Caroline: (appraisingly) This one's a keeper.
- Even better is that you can still see Daisy thinking in the background as Caroline walks away.
- Hodgins and Sweets stealing Angela's Dad's car back for him. How can Sweets meowing like a cat to distract guard dogs, Hodgins trying to avoid angry bikers and Billy Gibbons sneaking up on him end any other way?
- "The Bones That Foam" is a crowning episode of funny. From the reactions to the titular bones, to Booth's interrogation technique involving a car, right on up to the entire bit involving the strip club and Strawberry Lust. Words fail to describe... at least until someone can provide specific examples.
- Brennan's interrogation scene. After taking "emotion reading" lessons from Sweets, Brennan tries to interrogate a suspect. Cue her "tough cop" act, Booth watching from behind the one-way glass, horrified, Sweets' constant repetition of "I'm so sorry." and one very scared suspect.
- The scene at the strip club. Booth goes to Strawberry Lust in order to talk to her, she starts to dance for him, sitting him on a chair so that she can dance on his lap... and Bones pays Strawberry $50 so that she can see it happening.
- Double Death of the Dearly Departed. The whole episode.
"This man was translated!"
- The alternate-universe nightclub episode had tons of 'em, such as the whole scene about Zack and Vincent finding the gun.
Vincent: "I wouldn't do well in jail. I'm lovely."
Booth: Did anybody touch it? *Zack raises his hand; Cut to Caroline looking at the gun.*
Caroline: Anybody touch it?
Booth: Zack did. *Cut to both Booth and Brennan looking at it.*
Booth: .38, right? Matches the murder weapon.
Brennan: Zack touched it.
Vincent: "Legally, if it's with my stuff, can I just claim it as my own and like, toss it into a volcano?"
- Alt!Angela's claims that she has no artistic skills or sensibilities whatsoever. My mom nearly died of laughter.
- This exchange from "The Knight on The Grid"
Archbishop Wallace: Somebody ATE Doug?
Booth: Only part of him.
- The Rapid-Fire Comedy in “The Man in the Wall” - which happens to keep slamming bulls-eyes despite the rapid fire.
- Bones yelling about the anthropology of dancing in a nightclub, played completely straight. Since she's comparing the largely Black club to tribal dancing, it's also an example of Crosses the Line Twice.
- Adding to it is a nearby Sassy Black Woman gets it and is supportive of her;
No, fool. She’s using Descartes’ philosophy to say she’s down with the music.
- ...Only for another woman to only hear the "fool" part. In the ensuing Bar Brawl, the DJ is smashed through a wall, revealing the titular Man... and a stash of crystal meth.
: (licks finger) ...Uh oh.
Furst: A cloud of meth covered the dance floor. I think they’ve inhaled quite a lot.
Booth: (laughs) Are you two high?
Angela: (twitching) Only by accident, so it doesn’t count.
- In the same episode, Booth wrings information out of a rapper by agreeing to put him in jail for a month and charge him with murder if he helps the investigation. Bones' complete inability to understand the idea of "street cred" makes it that much funnier.
Bones: What, am I in Backwards World?
- Sweets pulled a similar stunt with members of a death-metal band in "Mayhem on the Cross" in Season Four. That episode is also notable for Booth's reaction when he learned that Gordon Gordon Wyatt was once "Noddy Comet", a glam rocker who, in his own words, "wore spandex, pancake makeup, and played a guitar shaped like a spaceship." To put this in further context, Gordon Gordon Wyatt is played by Stephen Fry.
- Brennan's attempt at interrogation in that episode.
- In "Mother and Child in the Bay", a mannequin is set up in the lab. In order to make an estimate about the strength of the attacker, the cast takes turns stabbing it as though in a rage. HilarityEnsues.
- "Phalanges! Dancing phalanges!"
"You looooove spatial disorientation, don't you? Don't you?"
- "Elephants are not purple. This is wrong."
- Brennan's appearance on "Good Morning DC".
How do you juggle careers as a best-selling author, and a crime-solving anthropologist? Brennan:
First I do one, then the other. Host: ...
- Later in that same episode, a woman asks Brennan "Is that you I saw on television this morning?"
Brennan: How could I possibly know what you saw on television this morning?
>Woman: ...Yeah, it was definitely her.
- "Hot blooded!"
- The entire sequence where Brennan and Zack are trying to figure out the gesture given by someone judging his thesis. "Like this... not like this..."
- "Thanks for the... gum..."
- Caroline stating against all available evidence that she has "a puckish side that will not be denied"...Booth declaring it Officially the Worst Christmas Ever once they get to the point of sniffing individual Santa butts to see which one smells like bird's nest soup...and of course the entire plotline revolving around the death of someone who may or may not be Santa Claus, especially when Bones and Booth visit his apartment (above a toy store), where, for example, the fridge is filled with milk and cookies and the wardrobe consists of nothing but Santa clothes.
Booth: This guy was committed!
Bones: He should have been.
- Special mention should go to the scene where one of the professional Santas turns out to be the killer. As he's perp-walked out, the other Santas start singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town": "You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry..."
- Stewie's guest appearance toward the end of the fourth season, especially when he appears in the questioning room.
- The entire sequence after Booth faking his own death: Brennan barges in on him in his own bathroom in his own house while he's taking a bath wearing a beer helmet, smoking a cigar and reading Green Lantern to yell at him for not informing her that he wasn't really dead.
Brennan: Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution!
- Everything ever about Angela's father, who is played by ZZ Top guitarist Billy Gibbons. Him informing Hodgins that asking for Angela's hand in marriage is in fact a terrible idea, the SCARY GUITAR CHORD whenever he appears after they break up when he's stalking Hodgins to scare the piss out of him (and force him to get a tattoo of Angela Forever, and explaining how Texan Daddy justice works to Angela- "Then HIS daddy can come here and kick YOUR ass."
- I have a Texan Daddy. I can attest that really is how it works.
- The extremely strong implication that Angela's dad actually **is** Billy Gibbons.
- Also, the whole sold his soul at the crossroads thing Vincent mentions about blues musicians. And the fact that all of them believe Angela's dad did it.
- Brennan and Angela accidentally inhaling meth and getting high at the beginning of "The Man in the Wall".
- In the episode "The Science in the Physicist", Angela accidentally gets hit in the face by a frozen, bouncing turkey.
- Anytime Hodgins and Zack/intern-of-the-week engage in an experiment. Notably, they once sent a pig through a wood chipper, outside the Jeffersonian, to the delight of several employees. Among those NOT delighted? Doctor Goodman, their boss.
- At the end of "The Feet on the Beach", Sweets throwing a bowl at Doctor Filmore's head, expecting his arm to resume function after Brennan apologized for disregarding his field of research. It doesn't exactly go as planned.
- A Brick Joke related to the above. Dr. Filmore's arm paralysis was noted to be rooted in feeling utterly humiliated professionally by Dr. Brennan. When he reappears on "The Suit on the Set," he notes, upon hearing about her professional and personal developments, that he sometimes thinks she shows up to demonstrate how meaningless his life is. She obliviously notes that he's quite capable of doing that without her. The scene ends with his arm going limp again, with him just staring at it.
- Hodgins and Mr. Nigel-Murray's "T-Rex vs. Man" arm-wresting match.
- A woman, Samantha Pickering, from the state department is interviewing everyone, getting Brennan last. When she asks Brennan a question, Brennan picks up the phone, calls someone and passes it to Pickering. After hanging up, she reveals that the interview has been suspended. And her notes are to be destroyed.
- Any entry from Sweets' Character Blog, he's quite the little Deadpan Snarker when given the opportunity. Special mention goes to the ones from "The Finder", which were written in a haze of sickness.
"I just want it to be noted that Agent Booth and Doctor Brennan totally love the hell out of each other ant they totally want to do it together. And the only reason they haven't is because of me. Because they think it's too funny to torment me. Well, HA FRICKING HA to the both of you! Punks. Wow, I think I may have taken too much cough medicine..or maybe not enough."
- "The Man with the Bone" is all about pirates, with lots of anecdotes from pirate fan Hodgins. They find a bone. They find out it's a pirate bone. They go on a Treasure Hunt. They think they might actually find some treasure! Cue tables turning as the Jeffersonian gets a little pirate raid on their exhibits - that is, someone stealing pirate bones from them. Twice. The same set.
Okay, Let Me See If I Get This Straight.
The pirate bones you recovered came from the Jeffersonian to start with... Brennan:
300-year-old bones stolen from our own pirate exhibit. Cullen:
...and then recovered by one of your own people... Booth:
Doctor Hodgins. Cullen:
...who brought them back to the Jeffersonian... where they were stolen again? Booth:
Re-stolen... sir. Cullen:
You got a security problem, Doctor Goodman. Goodman: And when I find out who did this, you may have a murder problem.
- In "The Change in the Game" one of the bowlers making a crude remark about Brennan in front of Max, then assuming that the reason Max is pissed because he's interested in Brennan.
- And in the same episode, the other bowlers suggesting that Booth and Brennan shouldn't bother arresting the killer, because the victim was such a dick that he basically did them all a favor.
- Angela's increasingly frustrated attempts to assemble a toy in "The Prince In the Plastic". Hodgins comes in and tries to help.
Angela: Don't even look at me. Don't even look over here.
- The scene in "The Hot Dog in the Competition" where Booth and Sweets are talking to the husband of the victim. They believe she's a prostitute but she's actually a competitive eater. Double entendres abound.
- In the opening scene of "Prisoner in the Pipe," a girl (and her dad) are forever traumatized to toilet training. The next scene with Brennan and Booth touring the hospital with Brennan carrying a UV light around didn't help matters.
- In "The Do in the Don't", the entire scene in the lingerie store. Sweets knows a little too much about women's undergarments.
- Booth doesn't know what bra size Bones has after the pregnancy. So, the store owner tries to help:
Store Owner: (gesturing) Are we talking apples or melons?
Booth: (angrily) You looking at her fruit?
Sweets: I... am a doctor. Just accept the help.
- Sweets catches Bones and Booth in a compromising position:
Sweets: Comparing body parts, what else do people do in snowstorms?
- When trying to figure out cause of death in "The Predator in the Pool" Brennan has an idea and shoves Clark's face underwater with no warning. His arms flail wildly while she calmly explains the scenario, and when he finally surfaces, he simply towels himself off, seemingly adapted to the chaos of the lab.
- The moment Hodgins and Angela discover that Cam played a role in a Z-movie, "Invasion of the Mother Suckers".
- Even funnier if you pay attention to the corpse of "Cindy the Mother Sucker". Cam gave an "Are we done yet?" eye movement while the film is still running and the wood used to stab her heart is placed on a classic armpit position.
- Also, when they question the victim's assistant, there's a poster on the wall about an airplane movie called "Air Force Juan". I still haven't decided if that's brilliant or terrible.
- The lead is probably Juarisson Ford. I'm sorry, I just had to make that joke...
- "You shot my clown!"
- Nigel's inability to hide that he already knows Angela & Hodgins are having a baby.
"I beg of you not to look at me directly. Just say what you have to say".
- Booth getting nailed in the face by a gelatin bullet in "The Doom in the Gloom".
- The Word Association Test from "The Critic in the Cabernet":
: Hunger. Brennan
: Sex. Booth
: Whoa! Brennan
: Horse. Booth
: Cowboy. Brennan
: Child. Booth
: Baby. Brennan
: Booth. Booth
: What, what do you think, I'm a baby? Brennan
: You're a father. Booth
: Oh. Mother. Brennan
: Birth. Booth
: Happy. Brennan
: Sperm. Booth
: Sperm? Isn't this getting a little weird? Sweets
: No, keep going. Booth
: Ok. Egg! Brennan
: I want a baby. Booth
: Whoa! Brennan
- "Mayhem on a Cross": Booth, Brennan and Dr. Gordon go to an abandoned slaughterhouse to bring in a death metal band that have been using it for rehearsals. When Booth shows the guitarist his badge, the guy just spits at it and hisses. Booth, with a face that just screams "screw this", empties his gun into their speaker to shut them up.
Gordon: Yes, now if you recall, it was shooting at inanimate objects that had brought you to me for therapy in the first place.
- Season 5 Episode 11, "The X in the File''; Brennan was using an early model MRI to examine a corpse (which resembled a traditional Grey alien due to how the body decomposed), when the dead body suddenly jerked up(due to electromagnetic fields from the MRI yanking on steel ball bearings embedded in its skull), prompting Brennan to scream in shock. Booth immediately pulls a gun, which gets yanked out of his hand by the MRI's magnetic field. Brennan then shuts off the MRI, causing both corpse and gun to fall.
Booth: You know I won’t say anything about the scream if you don’t say anything about the gun.
Brennan: Those terms are satisfactory.
- At the end of the episode, Booth accuses Bones of thinking the aliens are just like her. She plays along, pretending to be an alien scout.
- Just two word. Jesus. Zombie.
- To elaborate, Bones is arguing that Voodoo is no different than any other religion. Booth, a devoted Catholic, naturally disagrees. The resulting exchange has to be seen to be believed.
Booth: Voodoo. Who's going to believe that stuff?
Bones: It's a religion. No crazier than... well what are you?
Bones: They believe in the same saints you do, in prayer. What they call spells you call miracles. They have priests.
Booth: We don't make zombies.
Bones: Jesus rose from the dead after three days...
Booth: Jesus is not a zombie!
- In "The Mastodon in the Room", the Jeffersonian team, brought back together after being apart, go back to their old lab and discover that the room has been converted into an Ice Age exhibition, with a huge, stuffed mammoth in the center where the forensic platform was.
Caroline: Totally not my problem.
- A suspect flees into a kitchen and manages to get the jump on Booth, disarming him of his gun. What follows is a duel of Improvised Weapons—first kitchen knives, then frying pans. Bones also throws a head of lettuce at the suspect, missing, and tosses Booth a colander to use as a shield when only the suspect has a knife. Finally, after Booth has knocked out the suspect with a frying pan:
Bones: There's nothing more attractive than a man who knows how to handle himself in the kitchen.
- Booth feeling the hallucinatory effects of the drug the group took in "The Man in the Fallout Shelter."
: Bones! It's Christmas Eve Day! Both an Eve and a Day. It's a Christmas miracle!
- What really sells it is how he just jumps up behind her, bounces for a beat, and then starts talking, while wearing Angela's elf hat.
- In "The Princess and the Pear", Booth's reaction to painkillers, best described as Mushroom Samba, reaches a new high. First, he claims that the furniture feels friendly. Then, he more or less confesses to agent Perrota that his feelings about Brennan are not strictly professional.
- The above scenes are not so funny after "The End in the Beginning", when Booth falls into a coma because he reacts poorly to medication.
- Booth, in his bathtub wearing his beer hat and reading a comic book, in "The Pain in the Heart." Add in Bones barging in and Cam calling and Hilarity Ensues.
- "No, I will be speaking from my mouth."
- The Victim of the Week in "The Lady on the List" had a bucket list compiled. Angela decided to put together a bucket list for the most recent intern Dr. Wells.
Number 1: Don't be a douche.
Number 2: Seriously, don't be a douche.
Number 3: Work and play well with others so [you're] not perceived as a douche.
- "The Nazi on the Honeymoon": whenever someone in Argentina meets Booth, they immediately recognize him as Agent Andy Lister from Bones' books.
- "The Dude in the Dam": Angela's face when she learns that Hodgins is planning to play host for a South American larvae that is growing in his neck.
- Likewise, there's Wendell finding himself caught up in Hodgins treating it almost like the birth of his child.
- "The Mystery in the Meat": The team is investigating the murder of a food scientist and Hodgins and Oliver are sampling snacks he was working on. Among them is something tube-packaged called "Hot Bacon", which tastes just like fried bacon. They eat heartily until they look through the victim's notes and learn that Hot Bacon is not a condiment, but a flavored sexual lubricant. Cue the tongue-wiping.
- Any occasion where a body still has flesh when Brennan gets called in - flesh is not her area of expertise. However, like in "The Gamer in the Grease," when the flesh falls off the body, she is more than willing to immediately go to work.
- Bones is a new mother in "The Bump in the Road", because she could get the daycare director fired, she (likely rudely) requested a photo of Christine every half hour. Just after receiving one during a crime scene investigation with a headless corpse:
Bones: Uh oh.
Booth: What, something worse than her head getting cut off?
Bones: I sent the photo [of the corpse] to the daycare director.
Cam: Uh, day one - not a good first impression.
Bones: How...is there an unsend button?
- Clark succumbing to Not So Above It All tendencies in 'The Male in the Mail' and gleefully taking up Hodgins' selection of medieval weaponry to discover the murder weapon. He looks particularly fond of the scimitar.
- While investigating the murder of a stripper, Hodgins breaks into a (work-safe version of) strip tease in Angela's office. As Angela cheers him on, Cam walks in, gets a look at the situation, and immediately turns around and leaves.
- When Daisy is in labor and finally turns on the doula who has been encouraging her to go all new-agey in giving birth against the advice of her friends.
Daisy: I don't want darkness! I don't want candles! I want shiny machines that go "beep"! I WANT AN EPIDURAL!
- Hodgins has a betting pool going on about whether or not the Brennan-Booth wedding will actually happen, given the case that falls into their lap days before it's supposed to take place. He asks Cam if she's interested in placing a bet.
Cam: No. (beat) Doctor Hodgins? Twenty bucks says it's cancelled by one tomorrow. Oh god I hate myself.
- The utterly blank stare on Hodgins' face when Clark reveals that his book has been published, after Hodgins, Angela, and Cam couldn't suffer getting through it. Flat "What." does not begin to cover it.
- One episode has Booth at a party and, being Booth, the women are all over him to his discomfort, then one gooses him leading him to shut the party down.
- Sweets provides 2 in The Hole in the Heart. The first involves a new agent being mentored by Booth telling him that he should stay behind her while they're searching for Broadsky. He replies "That's okay; I don't measure my manhood by the same standard you do...That Came Out Wrong." Not long after that, Booth and his mentee notice a camera sending feed to Broadsky and Booth orders them both to take cover. As Sweets obeys, he claims that he hates it and wishes Broadsky had just started shooting; he then lampshades how wrong that sounds.
- In "The Movie in the Making", there's several chuckle-worthy scenes.
- Bones derides Booth's "gut", stating that the only time a gut should be part of an investigation is when it contains poison. Aristoo then gets Sidetracked by the Analogy, to her obvious annoyance.
- Booth claims that "Sometimes our [him and Bones] debates are so healthy that I end up sleeping on the couch."
- Bones is a terrible Parent's Day guest. Her video makes a kid throw up (he's later seen saying he doesn't want to have her job) and she derides the intelligence of the teacher of the class.