Funny / Black Lagoon

    • "Not really."
  • "Never underestimate a Japanese businessman!"
  • The Running Gag for the first few episodes of the hawaiian shirt that Revy bought for Rock, who thinks it's horrible and refuses to wear. (Something of a Noodle Incident too since we never see the shirt.)
    • Episode 7 of Second Barrage has a freeze frame bonus that suggests what the shirt looks like. With rather eloquent language that's to be expected from Revy. You can't blame Rock for refusing to wear it.
  • Dutch asks Benny's thoughts on the Neo-Nazis:
    Benny: I'm part Jewish, "Fuck the Nazis" is pretty much my family creed.
  • Revy's sound advice to a Too Dumb to Live Neo-Nazi.
  • The conversation between Dutch and their Nazi client, which rapidly alternates between praise for each other and Dutch dissing the ideology while the client says variations of "you and your race are going to die."
  • Balalaika is editing her syndicate's porn videos and is bored out of her skull when Revy and Rock walk in.
    Balalaika: I gotta finish 15 of these today, so I won't be getting out anytime soon. Yup, I should've gotten a part-timer to do it. I'm seriously losing my mind. I have a meeting tonight, too. Some more idiots selling drugs without permission again. What a pain in the balls...
    Revy: Hold on a sec! Is she taking it up the ass?!
    Balalaika: Sure is.
    • And after Revy and Rock leave:
      Balalaika: Somebody shoot me.
    • Notice that Rock has his hands over his groin the entire time...
      • ...and in the previous scene, at Rowan's S&M club. The ladies inside were wearing see-through garments. Rowan eventually asks, "What's up with your friend who looks like he ain't never seen a pair of titties before?"
  • The negiotations between Lagoon Company and the Church of Violence. Eda and Revy are standing up and pointing guns at each other while Rock and Yolanda sit down, not a single foot away, and calmly drink tea and politely conversing.
  • In the ninth episode, after Roberta uses her Parasol of Pain (on somebody else).
    Revy: Dutch? I know what I want for Christmas.
  • The preview for episode nine, in which Rock delivers the following in the most dramatic tone possible.
    Rock: I see it now. That maid is a killer robot from the future.
  • Earlier there was the moment where Garcia tells Revy to her face that Roberta is stronger than her. Revy's to laugh her ass off. Through her hysterics, she mocks the notion that Roberta could beat her. (And seeing as the two end up evenly matched, she's partially right.) And the scene randomly cuts to Roberta, as if she knows someone is talking about (and laughing at) her right then.
    • Even better, when Roberta kills a random Mook who just walked in a very flashy style, cue a Mass "Oh, Crap!" from the entire Lagoon Company, while Garcia remains perfectly calm. Even Dutch was surprised!
      Garcia: That's Roberta!
      Lagoon Company: WHAAAAAAT?!
  • 10th episode. Right before Roberta and Revy's all-out, no holds barred fistfight, Roberta says that Revy's shoelaces are untied. It works. What makes it even better is that Revy initially scoffs. And then looks anyway.
    • Even better is that it's true, her shoelaces actually are untied, in fact they're always untied.
    • Revy and Roberta then proceed to beat the ever-loving crap out of each other, while the rest of the cast take bets on who will win. Being the only one concerned about this, Rock tries to stop their fighting by suggesting they sit down and talk about their problems. Their response is unsurprising:
      Revy and Roberta (simultaneously): STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS!
      • Bonus points as Roberta's Hypocritical Humor due to a previous line:
        Roberta: I have no need for filthy language.
    • Dutch and Benny's thoughts on Revy, Roberta, and Balalaika in the same place?
      Benny: Those are the three scariest women on the planet.
      Dutch: Yeah, this feels way too close to ground zero....
  • In the "Baile de la Muerte" arc of the manga, Rotton spots a possible vantage point in their hunt for Roberta. He then asks "Would it look cool if I made an entrance from there?"
  • In "Greenback Jane", the eponymous Jane calls Eda and Revy "people who grew up watching NYPD Blue", or words to that effect. Revy responds "Would it be so surprising if I told you I watched Oprah?"
  • Every single Omake.
    • Balalaika being cast as Hansel and Gretel's long-suffering mom. Hilarity Ensues as the twins get up to all kinds of Troubling Unchildlike Behavior, including bringing home-made pipebombs to school and performing some kind of undisclosed, but obviously traumatizing sex-crime on poor Garcia Lovelace involving several sharp medical instruments.
    • Special notice should be given to the scary story one, where Rock's story managed to terrify Revy, Balalaika and the twins, to the point where Balalaika won the narration's Scaredy Cat award and was seen in her pajamas demanding that her sergeant escort her to the bathroom.
    • It's Magical Girl Radical Revy-chan!
      Who needs magic when all your problems can be solved... with guns!
    • The sixth omake, where everyone is de-aged. Also, how the others react to Bishonen Boris. [1].
    • Also notable in the sixth omake, Dutch figuring things out and ditching the omake before we see his de-aged self.
    • At the end of the seventh omake (about Yukio and Maki trying to form a manzai comedy duo) Revy and Balalaika show up in front of Rock to convince him to join them in a manzai comedy trio called 'Trios Los Panchos'. Their ponchos, sombreros, guitar and maracas, combined with their utterly deadpan expressions, will kill you laughing.
  • Rock on his first mission of piracy.
    Rock: (on loudhailer) Testing, testing...(Feedback Squeal)...ahhh...Good morning to everybody on board the St. Joan. I apologize for the sudden request, but would you please stop your engines right away?
    Rock: My own personal opinion is that at this point (sees a pissed-off Revy loading an RPG-7 rocket launcher and begins to talk faster) complying with this request as quickly as possible would definitely be the best course of action!
    • And then, after the first rocket is launched, Revy takes over in characteristic fashion:
      Revy: Listen VERY CAREFULLY, you dipshits! My rockets are much faster than any of your lame distress signals! So unless you want to end up a corpse-filled shipwreck, then I suggest you stop moving! YOU GOT IT?!
  • Upon encountering a shy, stuttering cleaning-man of the hotel Balalaika was in, in the second season:
    Balalaika: I think that boy's just about reached the peak of his adorableness! <3
  • At one point during the "Goat, Jihad and Rock and Roll" arc, the group flees in a van with the Protectors of the Islamic Front in hot pursuit, and they all get high on cocaine after thinking they were smoking normal cigarettes and the driver starts hallucinating that they're being attacked by Playboy Playmates.
    • Slightly altered in the anime where instead the driver is smoking Marijuana and Revy at one point gets the idea to give Rock one to help him chill out. All it winds up doing is making him depressed.
  • This interaction between Revy and Eda after the deal with Hotel Moscow goes south.
    Eda: We could've just taken the deal. But that would've been too easy, wouldn't it? Now I gotta go back to the church empty-handed!
    Revy: Whiny bitch! (steps on a turned-over garbage can) The only reason you didn't get your fucking balls shot off is because I saved you from those guys at Hotel Moscow! Remember that?
    Eda: Last I checked, I ain't got a set! But maybe you do, you nasty she-male!
    Revy: (Kicks the garbage can away) You asked for it, bitch! Go for your gun!
    Eda: When I'm done with you, you're gonna have to pick which asshole you wanna shit through! You got that!?
    (The two growl and stare at each other for a moment, then decide the other is Not Worth Killing and just slump down, dejected.)
    • Afterwards, Eda nervously asks Revy to walk her to her car.
  • And for that matter, all of Revy and Shenhua's interactions.
  • And who can forget this little gem after Rock's first Crowning Moment of Awesome?
  • Eda's reaction when Gretel starts throwing money in her face.
  • And what does Revy say when Yukio takes Rock hostage? "Great! Now he's been kidnapped by a schoolgirl!"
  • After the Yakuza arc, Eda asks in no uncertain terms if Revy "did it" with Rock while both of them in Japan. Revy's reaction? A sullen, mumbled "I don't wanna talk about it..." (She did and doesn't want Eda bugging her; tried and failed; doesn't want to admit that it's been going on for a while; or doesn't want to admit that she didn't have the nerve to try. Either way, any kind of answer would ask for merciless teasing.)
  • While in Japan, a Yakuza goon tries to appease Revy. The scene is especially funny in the original Japanese version, as said appeasement ends up getting lost in translation.
    Goon: Wait! I give up! Give! Give! Give give give!
    Revy: Give? Give me what?
    Goon: I cannot speak...!
    Revy: You're gonna give me something, right? Well, c'mon! What the fuck are you trying to say, huh?!
    Goon: SERIOUSLY! Give! Give! Give!
    Revy: Quit yapping, you goofball! You wanna give it to me or not? C'mon! (shoots the goon)
  • After completely trashing the Yellow Flag, Fabiola collapses on the bar and says, "Ah, I'm tired. Bartender, gimme a beer."
  • In one instance during the Roberta revenge arc, Rotton intervenes between Fabiola and some FARC soldiers by standing in front of her and giving a long speech about his guns, completely with dramatic wind. The FARC soldiers are so confused that they don't notice Sawyer coming along and cutting them in half, cackling happily, until it's too late.
  • The Greenback Jane arc is pretty much the "lightest" arc in the anime, with "lightest" being in quotations given the nature of this show. It's still incredibly colorful anyway since it concerns Jane, a perky computer hacking expert, in the distressed role, and she's wanted by an entire medley of outlandish bounty hunters.
    • This is best demonstrated in the episode in which Jane premieres: she runs to the Church of Violence, begging Eda for help. When one of the thugs chasing her shoot at her, damaging a church door and breaking a glass of liquor Revy was drinking, all hell breaks loose: Revy and Eda open fire on the thugs and are joined by Rico, a priest-in-training with a heavy machine gun; and even Yolanda, who busts out a gold-plated Desert Eagle!
  • In Chapter 78, Rock, Benny, Jane, and Feng are sitting in a motel room when Rock suddenly brings up how much the room stinks. Just as Benny starts to explain why, Sawyer barges in, causing Jane to freak out since the former had tried to killed her the last time they met. After Jane calms down, Sawyer starts explaining through Rock that the room had been inhabited by a couple of wannabe crooks until two weeks ago, when they were shot dead in the very same place. By the time she had arrived for clean up, the bodies were in an advanced state of decomposition and were a bit runny; she tells them they had to be carried out in buckets, at which point everyone starts feeling nauseous.

    The worst was yet to come though, as the reason why Sawyer came back was to finish the job: she had yet to remove the mattress which was the cause of the awful smell. Rock comes over to help and as he touches a stain on the mattress, notes that "it has something like oil on it" and wonders what it is. Sawyer then draws a picture of a buttered slice of bread on a grimy window by way of explanation, and then everyone starts to gradually make the horrifying connection: the "bread" is the mattress, and the stains on the mattress are "butter". In other words, what Rock had just touched and what they had been smelling the whole time was melted body fat. Everyone starts vomiting except for Sawyer, who is looking positively delighted at their discomfort.
  • Almost every line out of the high-as-a-kite Irishman Leigharch in episode 12, including this pair of gems: "I've got to get to Liverpool! Jimi Hendrix is calling me back! He got my message! He wants me to defeat the Klingons ASAP! C-Captain Picard!" and "My application to the Black Panthers was denied again!?" (In the dub)
  • The end of chapter 81 has Feng, who is in a panic because the PLA has abandoned her, try to carjack Rock while he is parked in front of the Yellow Flag. Unfortunately for her, Revy is in the passenger seat, and she doesn't take kindly to people pointing guns at Rock. They both start shooting at each other at point blank range and every bullet misses. Unfortunately for Rock, he's sitting in the middle of two pissed off women and all the hot brass is landing in his lap. Ouch!
  • In chapter 83, in order to thank Rock for helping her, Feng kisses him. Revy's reaction is priceless.
    • Even better, the end of the chapter has Revy obviously irritated..... whether or not this is about the kiss or Feng's situation itself remains to be seen.... oh, and note that she's showing her irritation around a bunch of mugs. Won't be long till somebody gets the wrong idea regardless of what Revy's true intentions are....
  • This may not necessarily be laugh-out-loud funny (more like Dark Humor actually) but in the episode where Chaka finds out that Revy is Rock's bodyguard, he asks her if she's ever killed anyone then brags about how he's already killed about 9 people already. Whether his claim is true or not, Revy has already shot and killed 128 people if not more before by the time they get to the story arc when Revy and Rock are in Japan (in fact, she tells Fabiola she's been 'working' for ten years so her body count could easily reach four digits). Whether Chaka was trying to hit on Revy, scare her, or rile her up, the fact the audience is aware of just how truly dangerous she is and the fact that this two-bit reckless thug clearly has no idea he's dealing with death on two legs is almost hilarious.
  • Chapter 87 has a moment when Rock & Revy take Feng to an Internet cafe so she can backtrack her hack route and find out what Janet was really after by framing her. Unfortunately for Feng, she's decked out in some rather Stripperific clothing (It Makes Sense in Context) and some jerks try to get touchy-feely with her. She manages to shoo off the first two on her own, but the third guy requires a little more persuasion from Revy and her gun. After he's gone, Revy turns around and notices the whole cafe was watching that scene.
    Revy: "What the hell are you looking at? This ain't a peep show! Get your asses back in your seats and go watch some grandpa fuck a horse!"
  • At the end of episode 3, when Dutch tells the crew that they're going out for drinks, Revy gets all excited, acting like a kid who just found out they're going to McDonald's.
  • "Did they finally drop an A-Bomb on Roanapur?"
    • "I wish, Benny-boy. Then I wouldn't be the only one getting fucked! They're burning down my dock! MUTHAFUCKER!"
  • In the second episode of Roberta's Blood Trail, Bao's bar gets destroyed again, this time by Fabiola. When Rock, Benny, Garcia and Fabiola show up asking about Roberta, he's chilling in a kiddie pool outside the wreck with a bunch of bikini clad girls from his brothel. Rock and Benny are appropriately just as confused as the audience, Garcia stares with a Luminescent Blush, and Fabiola is sweating with her eyes constantly darting towards Garcia, as if she's worried about him seeing a bunch of bikini girls.
    Rock: Uh, say, what's the story here?
    Bao: My shop wasn't the only place wrecked! The whorehouse upstairs was also toast thanks to that crazy little maid there! I thought I'd chill with the girls for a while!
    Garcia: You destroyed this man's bar?
    Fabiola: I-I didn't mean to!
    • Then, after Rock and Fabiola go off to have a private chat with Bao, all of Bao's bikini-clad prostitutes can be seen surrounding little Garcia, presumably because they think he's just so cute. He just looks up at them shyly hiding his groin, while Benny looks on with an amused grin on his face.
  • Roberta gets ambushed by Shenhua and Sawyer. In two absolutely badass moments, she blocks Shenhua's knife with her mouth, then breaks it with her teeth. Then blocks Sawyer's chainsaw with her guns, and breaks that too. Then Rotton the Wizard slides in, pulling off a silly pose and ready to shoot. Roberta just kicks him square in the nuts, complete with a hilariously out of place cartoon metal clang sound effect. Rotton freezes and falls over with his legs pointing straight up.
  • During the Greenback Jane arc, Rotton makes a dramatic entrance complete with In the Name of the Moon speech, only to get shot immediately by Revy. She comments afterwards that she has no idea who he was and shot him out of reflex. Again, Rotton survived (he also wears a bulletproof vest).
    • When they meet again during Roberta's Blood Trail, Revy mistakes him for a gigolo.
  • Jane offhandedly mentions grabbing Rock for a threesome. Revy grabs her by the shirt and threatens her with lesbian sex so intense she'll forget all about Benny. Clearly she is not interested in Rock at all...
  • Dutch and Benny are driving toward the Yellow Flag when several vehicles race by them, one of which is an SUV with a 50 caliber machine gun on the roof. Benny comments on this as though talking about the weather.
    Benny: I think it's going to be tough to get a drink at the Flag tonight.
  • A Colombian mook snatches up Fabiola and comments about how heavy she is. This is Fabiola's first scene, but any viewer familiar with the other maid of the Lovelace household knows exactly what's going on.