- "I'm chunky and funky! It's the new Merton!"
- "What'd you do? Eat the old Merton?"
- Also, Lori's rather, erm, interesting rendition of "Oh Holy Night".
- "Bat....Bat....A lonely boy, who failed to please his demanding father at every turn." "Oh, sorry, that one was upside down". "Bat..."
- "It's Vince, in the cafeteria...WITH THE SPORK!"
- "You can't 'blah, blah, blah' the Bible!"
- This hilarious exchange-
Tommy: From ground to air, and air to ground, the wheels on the bus go round and round! Round and round. ROUND AND ROUND! The wheels on the bus go round and round!Merton: (To Lori. Deadpan.) Been nice knowin' ya.....
- "Do you really think Michael Jackson VS Darth Vader is a fair fight?"
- Merton repeatedly shouting "Wrestling isn't real!" while being utterly thrashed by a demonic pro-wrestler.
- "Ok...buried alive...no need to panic..." (Beat) "HEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!"
- Tommy's attempts to help Lori relax before doing in oral report at school.
Tommy: The trick is to picture yourself...naked.Lori: Tommy, you're supposed to picture everyone else naked.
- And, in that same episode, Merton (unknowingly) playing with a bunch of Voodoo Dolls causing Tommy to start breakdancing during said report.
- This exchange-
Tommy: Naked?Merton: The spell doesn't turn clothes invisible, only people. Do you really want to be followed by a pair of haunted underpants?
- Merton's disappointed look about how he doesn't get to indulge the Running Gag when he has a robotic look-a-like wandering around because Tommy and Lori have seen the movie.
- "Why is it so difficult to believe that my imaginary friend is trying to bludgeon you to death with a piece from a board game?!. . . You can get back to me on that."
- Season 2 ended with a cliffhanger Merton being turned into a statue, with Tommy and Lori leaving him in the lair. Season 3 begins with them turning around and coming back in and comment on how their hair and clothes are different than they were before.