Funny / Berserk Abridged

  • Episode 2: Griffith's reaction to Guts fighting in battle and his attempt to cover up his feelings.
    Griffith: Such power and grace. I must have him.
    Red-Headed Member of the Hawks: What was that, sir?
    Griffith: In... my army. I must have him in my army. I covered that up well.
    • "I THOUGHT I SAID NO MUSIC!" "You said no Johnny Cash — this is Billy Joel!"
    • Guts's dream sequence. All of it.
    Guts: It's almost as if this is a metaphor for something too horrible to contemplate!
    (cut to manga panel of young Guts getting raped by Donovan)
    • Guts' first day with the Hawks:
      Judeau: But I don't get it. One minute, Griffith is coming on to you like a fangirl backstage at a Backstreet Boys concert, and the next he's ordering a naked woman to share your tent.
      Casca: Maybe he's just playing hard to get.
      Guts: Yeah, or maybe he's hoping one night with you will turn me off of women altogether.
      (Casca decks him)
  • Episode 3: The entire rematch, but especially Griffith.
    Griffith: (in a hilariously effete tone) Now say you're my bitch, or I'll dislocate your shoulder.
    Griffith: And now, by some alien logic, I own you, Guts.
    Griffith: Hey, everyone! I own a human life!
    The Band of the Hawk: (Hooray! Cheering!)
  • Episode 4: The homoerotic water-fight.
    Guts: Well, I guess it's true what the Republicans say: All it takes is one homoerotic water-fight to turn ya queer.
  • Episode 5: "The porn! The porn! The porn is on fire! Everyone retreat, we'll just have to make do with Griffith's back issues of Cosmo!"
    • The advertisement for the Dreamcast game.
    Oh...and Puck's in it. A LOT. ...Have fun with that.
  • Episode 6: Zodd telling Guts' and Griffith' futures and comparing Guts to Naruto and Griffith to Sasuke.
  • Episode 7: Guts' mercifully short lived musical moment.
    Guts: (As he kicks the crap out of some perfectly innocent guards in a Brock Sampson Comedic Sociopathy moment) I loooovvveee hurting people! I loooovveee beating people up!
    • Also Griffith's reaction to the Naruto comparison above.
    Griffith: Wait, how come I have to be the emo freak? You're like eight times more emo than I am.
  • "Hey Griffith, put some pants on! Straight people are here!
  • Episode 12: Guts thinks menstruation is a myth, and that women steal men's bodily fluids to make leprechauns.
    Guts: Hey seriously, you should take a look at that injury between your legs. I'm kinda starting to worry. I tended the rest of your wounds while you were asleep, but I couldn't get that one to stop bleeding.
    • "Governor, I brought you a Pogo Stick!" "Oh Thank you!" "NAUGHTY!"
    • "Oh, now this is just ridiculous! Is there anyone in this show who's not a prostitute?"
  • Episode 20: "See Guts, back then I wanted to become a kindergarten teacher. But it turns out all I was good at was hitting stuff with hammers. So after the lawsuits were settled, I became a blacksmith
  • Episode 22: "Damn you demons and your diet pills... DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!"
  • When Zodd finds out the show is cancelled due to, according to the vampire priest from Hellsing, personal reasons, it didn't go well on the abridger's end...
    Zodd: KNEEL BEFORE ZODD, BITCH! KNEEL BEFORE ZODD!
  • From one of the "War of the Abridged Series Creators" videos, when Guts works too well at getting a Cactrot upset.
  • As well as the Christmas episode done with a few other abridgers: NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY!
  • In the finale:
    "You, the big black guy. Would you like to sacrifice your friends to become an all powerful demon?"
    "Nah, if I ever kill these crackers it'll be with my bare hands. Thanks anyway."
  • The opening song of the first Golden Age movie.
  • When Guts discovers Casca is a girl.
    "A chick, huh. Now I feel better about that Raging Stiffie."
  • Rosine's messenger bee. All 13 seconds of him.
    Bee: Mortal! I speak for Rosine! Queen of the fairies! My mistress will reward you greatly if you-
    (Judeau throws a knife at the bee)
    Guts: What was that?
    Judeau: Just the wind.
    Bee: You will regret this insult mortal! On the day of the Eclipse I shall personally feast upon your testicl-
    (Knife to the head)


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/BerserkAbridged