Judeau: But I don't get it. One minute, Griffith is coming on to you like a fangirl backstage at a Backstreet Boys concert, and the next he's ordering a naked woman to share your tent.
Casca: Maybe he's just playing hard to get.
Guts: Yeah, or maybe he's hoping one night with you will turn me off of women altogether.
[Casca decks him]
Episode 3: The entire rematch, but especially Griffith.
Griffith: [in a hilariously effete tone] Now say you're my bitch, or I'll dislocate your shoulder.
Griffith: And now, by some alien logic, I own you, Guts.
Griffith: Hey, everyone! I own a human life!
The Band of the Hawk:*Hooray! Cheering!*
Episode 4: The homoerotic water-fight.
Guts: Well, I guess it's true what the Republicans say: All it takes is one homoerotic water-fight to turn ya queer.
Episode 5: "The porn! The porn! The porn is on fire! Everyone retreat, we'll just have to make do with Griffith's back issues of Cosmo!"
Episode 6: Zodd telling Guts' and Griffith' futures and comparing Guts to Naruto and Griffith to Sasuke.
Episode 7: Guts' mercifully short lived musical moment.
Guts: (As he kicks the crap out of some perfectly innocent guards in a Brock Sampson Comedic Sociopathy moment) I loooovvveee hurting people! I loooovveee beating people up!
Also Griffith's reaction to the Naruto comparison above.
Griffith: Wait, how come I have to be the emo freak? You're like eight times more emo than I am.
How can any one forget "Hey Griffith, put some pants on! Straight people are here!
Episode 12: Guts thinks menstruation is a myth, and that women steal men's bodily fluids to make leprechauns.
Guts: Hey seriously, you should take a look at that injury between your legs. I'm kinda starting to worry. I tended the rest of your wounds while you were asleep, but I couldn't get that one to stop bleeding.
"Governor, I brought you a Pogo Stick!" "Oh Thank you!" "NAUGHTY!"
"Oh, now this is just ridiculous! Is there anyone in this show who's not a prostitute?"
Episode 22: "Damn you demons and your diet pills.....DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!"