Funny / Battlefield 3

  • If you are unfortunate enough to fail the Quick Time Event involving the rat in the sewer, you cause enough noise to attract a PLR soldier who blows you away. Just before you die, you manage to flip the bird at the offending rat.
  • In "Rock and a Hard Place", while riding on the back of a transport vehicle, one of your squadmates, Matkovic, gets woken up, prompting this response:
    Matkovic: "...Thirty-four minutes. I've been asleep for thirty-four minutes. Drinking a vanilla milkshake." [He squints his eyes.] "...That mean something?"
  • Some of the American soldier's multiplayer dialogue is hilarious:
    Soldier (upon spotting an enemy Support): "Yeah- yeah I see you, ya little fuck! We got a machinegunner in the area."
    Soldier (upon spotting an enemy Engineer): "Roger, umm... We have spotted- Yeah no shit, umm, We've spotted anti-tank troops, repeat, those are anti-tank troops, over."
    Soldier (upon requesting a ride from a passing vehicle): Pick me. The fuck. Up.
    Soldier: Get the fuck off me now- GOOOODDAMN! Get off.
    Soldier (upon killing an enemy support): Look at that cocksucker with that machinegun!
  • BirgirPall's multiplayer videos are hilarious. Notable characters include Manuel the Mexican repair bot. *boop*
  • This gem:
  • Meta-example: 2011 game of the year award on every game review websites are tense with Battlefield 3 and Modern Warfare 3 just asking for a final showdown we're all waiting for. Gamespot's best shooting game of 2011 award goes to Gears of War 3.
  • A bit of party banter early in Operation Swordbreaker:
    Montes: You ever ask yourself how this part of the world gets so fucked up all the time?
    Campo: I just work here, Dave.
  • In Operation Guillotine, the Marines hop on a Humvee convoy to get to the Financial District.
    "Obstacles on the road. I know what it looks like."
    "Bypassing an ambush is exactly what ambushers expect us to do. We're not going to surprise the enemy by waiting. We need to seize the initiative."
    "Why don't we just shoot ourselves and save them the trouble?"
    "Seriously, we're gonna get jacked."
    "Frankly, gentlemen, I'm not hearing any aggression I'd like. Keep scanning."