Random

Funny: Batman: The Dark Knight Returns

aka: The Dark Knight Returns
  • Alfred and Bruce in the Wayne Infirmary:
    Alfred: "If it's suicide you're after, Master Bruce...I have the recipe for an old family potion, It's slow in working, and quite painful. You'd like it."
    • And later in the same scene.
    Alfred: "You know, sir, that there is precedent for wheelchair detectives..."
    Bruce: "Shut up, Alfred."
  • Batman takes a phone call, and obviously plans to jump back into action immediately. An exasperated Alfred is seen pulling the Batsuit out of the washing machine.
    Alfred: (grumbles) "He'll just have to wear it wet...."
  • "Property damage. Automotive." (A voice command to the reprogrammed Batcopter to fire a missile at a car)
  • Batman leaves Carrie in the batcopter and specifically tells her not to touch the controls, or she's fired. She does anyway, reprogramming the voice controls to use cooler commands. Afterwards:
    Carrie: I'm not fired?
    Batman: *grins* You're not fired.
  • For his final fight with Superman, Bats leaves Carrie to drive the Batmobile. When Supes rips it open, there she is, aiming her slingshot at him.
    Superman: Isn't this a school night?
  • "Rubber bullets. Honest."
  • This exchange:
    Plainclothes cop: "O'Halloran, ma'am, sixth precint. What've got?"
    Commissioner Ellen Yin: "It's not suicide, lieutenant. The girl with him is from Kyle Escort. She's been drugged. Shut the joint down... And pick up Selina Kyle."
    O'Halloran: "Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am."
    *O'Halloran goes away*
    Another cop coming from another direction: "Commissioner... O'Halloran, ma'am, sixth precint."
    *The commissioner looks at O'Halloran with jaw dropped and realizes she just talked with Batman*
    Commissioner: "STOP THAT MAN!"
  • From the animated movie, this Joker line. Doubly so if you think he was serious and wasn't joking.
    Wolper: He's a victim of Batman's psychotic obsession.
    Joker: (looks confused) ...I thought I was Batman's psychotic obsession.

Alternative Title(s):

The Dark Knight Returns
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