History Funny / BatmanBegins

* The look on that bystander's face as he comes upon Gordon sitting in the Tumbler, and says, "nice ride," and then sees Gordon promptly blow up a [[spoiler: support beam]] with surface-to-surface missiles.

--> '''Homeless Guy:''' Should've tipped better!

--> '''Falcone:''' You're taller than you look in the tabloids, Mr. Wayne.
--> '''Falcone:''' ''[after his men search Wayne]'' No gun? I'm insulted! [[DeadpanSnarker You could have just sent a thank-you note.]][[note]] For context, Falcone had just had Joe Chill, the man who killed Bruce's parents, killed because the man was about to turn state's witness. As far as Falcone was concerned, [[CrossesTheLineTwice he'd done both him AND Bruce a favor]][[/note]]

* Ducard's incredulous/snarky reaction to seeing Bruce's batsuit for the first time.

[[folder:Henri Ducard / [[spoiler:Ra's Al Ghul]]]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Others]]

'''Lucius Fox:''' You did. [[ReassignmentBackfire I got another job: yours.]]\\

''[[[AnswerCut Cut]] to Bruce Wayne reading the newspaper just before an obviously irritated Earle rings his limo's number]''\\

* Crane's deadpan "We are paying you for that..." when Falcone mentions helping him.

'''Gordon:''' ''[after accidentally grazing another car]'' Sorry...

** "You wanna know my opinion? You need to lighten up" ''[sets Batman on fire]''.

* Alfred is just full of funny one-liners. When Bruce is first exploring the cave under the mansion:\\
-->'''Bruce:''' ''[shouting across the cavern]'' Alfred! Come up here!\\
'''Alfred:''' I can see very well right from down here, sir, thank you very much!

* After Falcone's TheReasonYouSuck speech to Bruce Wayne, he has him thrown out of the bar into the street. There's a homeless guy watching:

** There's also something humorous about the idea that Falcone is so used to [[SeenItAll people wanting him dead]] that someone like ''Bruce Wayne'' might even come at him with a gun.

'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' [[RichIdiotWithNoDayJob Drive sports cars, date movie stars, buy things that are not for sale…]] who knows, Master Wayne? [[BecomingTheMask You start pretending to have fun, you might even have a little by accident.]]

** Just his whole behavior during that scene, taking RichIdiotWithNoDayJob up to eleven.

* Bruce dismissing his own alter-ego as a means of establishing his RichIdiotWithNoDayJob persona:

'''Bruce:''' ''[shouting across the cavern]'' Alfred! Come up here!\\

* To reward Fox for his work, Bruce designates him the new CEO of Wayne Enterprises, ousting Earle. But to make the changes and mess with Earle, there's the way they do it: they call an unscheduled board meeting, without contacting Earle. So Earle arrives late in the middle of the meeting, walks in, and finds Fox handing out documents to the other members.

''[turns to Earle, and [[GlassesPull takes off his glasses]]]''\\

* Rachel's first encounter with Batman - she doesn't see him take down one of the men that Falcone sent after her because she's threatening the other guy with her taser, and when the other guy [[OhCrap sees what just happened to his partner]] [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere and runs for his life]], [[ScaredOfWhatsBehindYou she thinks that it worked]]. Then she turns and sees Batman, and reflexively tries to tase him - [[NoSell emphasis on tries]].

-->'''Alfred:''' ''[shatters a sample headpiece with a baseball bat]'' It's a problem with the graphite, sir. The next 10,000 will be up to specifications.\\

'''Alfred:''' Quite. [[ServileSnarker In the meantime sir, might I suggest that you try to avoid landing on your head.]]

** Just his whole behavior during that scene, taking RichIdiotWithNoDayJob UpToEleven.

* The scene where Scarecrow is chasing Rachel on his [[HellishHorse Hellish Horse,]] with flaming eyes and an intimidating [[VoiceOfTheLegion Voice of the Legion.]] Now that's scary, [[NightmareRetardant at least until Rachel shoots him in the face with a taser, causing him to fall flat on his back on his horse, screaming goofily as it gallops away in the other direction!]]

-->'''Mr. Earle''': Bruce! I thought you were dead.\\
'''Bruce Wayne''': Sorry to disappoint.

-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' ''[as Alfred opens the curtains]'' Bats are nocturnal!
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' Bats may be, but even for billionaire playboys, three o'clock is pushing it. The price of leading a double life, I fear. Your theatrics made an impression. ''[shows the newspaper to Bruce]''
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' Theatricality and deception are powerful weapons, Alfred. It's a good start.
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' If those are to be the first of many injuries to come, it would be wise to find a suitable excuse. [[CutHimselfShaving Polo, for instance.]]
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' ''[disgusted]'' I'm not learning polo, Alfred.
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' Strange injuries, a non-existent social life. These things beg the question as to "What ''exactly'' does Bruce Wayne do with his time and his money?"
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' And what does someone like me do?
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' Drive sports cars, date movie stars, buy things that are not for sale… who knows, Master Wayne? [[BecomingTheMask You start pretending to have fun, you might even have a little by accident.]]

-->'''Maitre'd''': Sir, the pool is for decoration, and your friends do not have swimwear.
-->'''Bruce''': Well, they're European.
-->'''Maitre'd''': I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
-->''Bruce starts to write a check''
-->'''Maitre'd''': It is not a question of money.
-->'''Bruce Wayne''': ''[gives him the check]'' Well, you see, I'm buying this hotel, and uh, setting some new rules about the pool area.

-->'''Henchman:''' "[[LargeHam WHERE ARE YOU?!?!]]"
-->'''Batman:''' ''[appears hanging upside down right behind the mook's back]'' "''[[JumpScare Here.]]''"

--> '''Bruce''': Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat ''clearly'' has issues.

--> '''Bruce''': Everyone. Everybody. I, uh...wanna thank you all for coming here tonight and drinking all of my booze. No, really. There's a thing about being a Wayne that, you're never short a few freeloaders, like yourselves, to fill up your mansion with so, here's to you people. Thank you.\\
'''Partygoer''': That's enough, Bruce. \\
'''Bruce''': Mm-mm. I'm not finished. To all of you, uh...all you ''phonies''. All you… two-faced friends, you sycophantic ''suck-ups'' who smile through your teeth at me, ''please'' leave me in peace. ''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Please. Go]]''. Stop smiling, it's not a joke, please leave. The party's over, ''GetOut''.

-->'''Bruce Wayne''': What's that?
-->'''Lucius Fox''': The Tumbler? Oh, you wouldn't be interested in that.
-->''[Cuts to Bruce driving it on the open floor of a big warehouse, with Fox in the passenger's seat describing the functions]''
-->'''Lucius Fox:''' She was built as a bridging vehicle. During combat, two of these would jump over a river, towing cables. Over here on the throttle, flip that open and throttle up. This will boost you into a rampless jump. ''[Bruce goes to flip the throttle. The Tumbler accelerates]'' Not now! Not... not now, sir!
-->'''Tumbler AI:''' Afterburner disengaged.
-->'''Lucius Fox:''' We never could get the damn bridge to work, but this baby works just fine.
-->''[Bruce brings the Tumbler to a stop. He's visibly impressed]''
-->'''Lucius Fox:''' So, what do you think?
-->'''Bruce Wayne''': …Does it come in black?

-->'''Alfred''': [[NotWhatItLooksLike A little worse for wear, I'm afraid.]]

--> '''Alfred''': ''(shatters a sample headpiece with a baseball bat)'' It's a problem with the graphite, sir. The next 10,000 will be up to specifications.
--> '''Bruce''': At least they gave us a discount.
--> '''Alfred''': Quite. [[ServileSnarker In the meantime sir, might I suggest that you try to avoid landing on your head.]]
* Alfred is just full of funny one-liners. When Bruce is first exploring the cave under the mansion:
-->'''Bruce:''' ''[shouting across the cavern]'' Alfred! Come up here!
-->'''Alfred:''' I can see very well right from down here, sir, thank you very much!

-->'''Batman''': I need your help.\\
'''Gordon''': What do you need?.\\
'''Batman''': [[spoiler: Can you drive stick?]]

-->'''Gordon''': [[BrickJoke I couldn't find any mob bosses.]]

--> '''Falcone:''' ''(after his men search Wayne)'' No gun? I'm insulted! [[DeadpanSnarker You could have just sent a thank-you note.]][[note]] For context, Falcone had just had Joe Chill, the man who killed Bruce's parents, killed because the man was about to turn state's witness. As far as Falcone was concerned, [[CrossesTheLineTwice he'd done both him AND Wayne a favor]][[/note]]

--> '''James Gordon:''' ''[carrying an unconscious Rachel]'' She's fading! We've gotta go! ''(Batman walks offscreen with Rachel)'' I'll get my car.\\

-->'''Cop in Crushed Cruiser''': He is in a vehicle!\\

'''Cop in Cruiser:''' It's a black… ''(looks at his partner, who gives a shrug and face of "Don't look at me!")'' …[[SureLetsGoWithThat tank]].

-->'''Rachel Dawes:''' What are you doing?!
-->'''Batman:''' [[{{Roofhopping}} Shortcut.]]

-->'''Cop 1:''' What street is he taking?\\

-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' When you told me your grand plan for saving Gotham, the only thing that stopped me from calling the men in white coats was when you said that it ''wasn't'' about thrill-seeking.
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' It's not.
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' What would you call ''that''?
-->''[points to a TV report showing a helicopter shot of the Tumbler being chased down the freeway by police cars]''
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' ''[fixing his tie]'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Damn good television]].
-->'''Alfred Pennyworth:''' It's a miracle no one was killed.
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' I didn't have time to observe the rules of the road, Alfred.

-->'''William Earle:''' Fox? I seem to remember firing you.
-->'''Lucius Fox:''' You did. [[ReassignmentBackfire I got another job: yours.]]
-->'''William Earle:''' On whose authority?
-->''[[[AnswerCut Cut]] to Bruce Wayne reading the newspaper just before an obviously irritated Earle rings his limo's number]''
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' Bruce Wayne.
-->'''William Earle:''' What makes you think you can decide who's running Wayne Enterprises?
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' Well, the fact that I'm the owner.
-->'''William Earle:''' What are you talking about? The company went public a week ago.
-->'''Bruce Wayne:''' [[MeaningfulEcho And I bought most of the shares, through various charitable foundations, and trusts, and so forth.]] [[IronicEcho Look, it's all a bit technical, but the important thing is that MY company's future is secure.]] ''[speaks slightly louder]'' Right, Mr. Fox?
-->'''Lucius Fox:''' Right you are, Mr. Wayne.
-->''[turns to Earle, and takes off his glasses]''
-->'''Lucius Fox:''' [[IAlwaysWantedToSayThat Didn't you get the memo?]]

* Rachel's first encounter with Batman - she doesn't see him take down one of the men that Falcone sent after her because she's threatening the other guy with her taser, and when the other guy [[OhCrap sees what just happened to his partner]] [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere and runs for his life]], [[ScaredOfWhatsBehindYou she thinks that he's scared of her]]. Then she turns and sees Batman, and reflexively tries to tase him - [[NoSell emphasis on tries]].

* Rachel's first encounter with Batman - she doesn't see him take down one of the men that Falcone sent after her because she's threatening the other guy with her taser, and when the other guy [[OhCrap sees what just happened to his partner]] [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere and runs for his life]], she thinks that he's scared of her. Then she turns and sees Batman, and reflexively tries to tase him - [[NoSell emphasis on tries]].