Funny / Bad Boys

  • The Reggie scene.
  • Marcus getting Shot in the Ass near the end of the first shootout.
  • The attempted private talk about Marcus' erection problems (after getting Shot in the Ass) in the store... where everyone heard them anyway.
    Angry mother: (to the store manager) "In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows up in here? What kind of freak-ass store is this?!" (to Marcus and Mike, as they're walking out) And you two motherfuckers need Jesus!" (to her children) "Cover your ears, baby."
    • Especially since...well, having one's erectile dysfunction aired out in public isn't fun. But the way they are talking about it, out of context, makes it sound like they are a gay couple and it came from some really rough sex, Marcus is pouring his issues out to Mike, who's acting like an emotionally abusive boyfriend.
    Camp Gay Bystander: That poor man is just pouring his heart out!
  • "Whoosah."

  • Marcus accidentally getting high on X in the sequel.
    Marcus: This is a nice fish. Big fuckin' eyes, but a nice fuckin' fish.
  • The end of Marcus's rant at his sister after the massive car chase. After she won't tell him any information about her undercover case investigating Johnny Tapia, he threatens her with this:
    Marcus: "Oh, I'm Miami PD now? You'd forgotten I'm your big brother, huh? You know what, Syd, that shit you did was reckless, it was stupid, and it was dangerous. 'K? I'm telling mommy."
  • Granted, it was after losing the coffin and killing their only lead in self-defense after a very loud and very public firefight, but Captain Howard's rant at the two when he pulls up on the scene is somewhat hilarious.
    Capt. Howard: "I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning, call each other up - 'Good morning, Marcus.' 'Good morning, Mike.' 'How you doin'?' 'A'ight.' 'So, how are we going to fuck up the captain's life today?' 'Gee, I don't know, I don't know... Ooh, look! Over there. Let's kill three fat people and leave them on the street?'
    • The captain discovering a boat is on the list of damages.
      Howard: 22 cars...and a boat...totalled?! How did you sink a boat?!
      Mike: ...We didn't sink it...
      Howard: *Cue quick tantrum*