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Funny: The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes

From the cartoon:

Poor Spidey never catches a break.

    open/close all folders 

     Season 1 
Micro-Episodes
  • From the micro-episode "The Man in the Ant Hill," when Hank asks Janet to make sure that the mercenaries he shrank don't get eaten by ants, he uses a tone that almost makes the task sound like an errand as typical as buying extra groceries after work.
    • By contrast, Jan's disgust at the thought of the ants eating people.
  • Three Words from "Hulk vs The World", "Tick, Tick, Boom!"
  • "Hulk smash rock, Einstein!"
  • In the micro-episode, "Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD", after Grim Reaper knocks Nick Fury off of the flying car they were on:
    Grim Reaper: "Hahaha! That's it, run! Run-" (looks up and sees the bomb that Fury planted on his scythe counting down to 3 seconds) "...oh."
  • Hulk just holding Hawkeye's head in his fist, watching him dangle uselessly.
  • Bucky to Captain America: "You always get me caught."
  • From "The Big House," Arnim Zola playing Pong.

Breakout

Some Assembly Required
  • At the beginning of the episode after the Avengers capture Mandrill (via his fearful surrender).
    Wasp: Well, that was easy.
    Thor: Verily. He bringeth shame to all monkeys with his cowardice.
  • Wasp and The Hulk have a "little sister/grumpy big brother" thing going, especially when she's making faces at him.
  • Iron Man explaining he came late to the Avengers' first gathering because he had a meeting, but then admitting that he missed that meeting too.
  • There's also one of Hulk's rare gems here:
    Thor: "T'would be wise to treat the lady with respect."
    Hulk: "Which lady do you mean, blondie?"
  • Hulk's annoyance at everyone being late for the first Avengers' meeting.
  • Wasp's eagerness to move into the Mansion, reasoning that firemen live at the fire station, and Hank's off-handed remark to Ultron's head about Wasp's excitement.

Living Legend
  • The faces Wasp makes at the blob monster.
    • That's nothing compared to the ridiculously big grin Cap gives when he sees that she's not hurt.
  • This exchange:
    Iron Man: Avengers, Assemble!
    Ant Man: We're all right here.
    Iron Man: ...
  • Also Wasp coming to after being knocked out by Zemo.
    Wasp: Huh? WhadImiss?
  • And this:
    Thor: Mortal technology... you would do well to trust your eyes and ears.
    Iron Man: I'm picking something up on my scanner. It's faint, but it's definitely a life form. That's so weird though, since I didn't see or hear anything.
  • Iron Man and Cap, in their respective civie identities of Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, share this exchange after defeating Armin Zola's Doughboy:
    Tony: Bio-engineered monsters. Freaky ooze creatures. Is that what it was like fighting evil the '40s?
    Tony: Did you just make a joke? Captain America has a sense of humor.
    Steve: Don't get used to it, solider. And please, call me Steve.
  • Tony's confused reaction after Steve asks if he can meet the Avenger wearing "the black cat suit."
  • Wasp's reaction to flying the Quinjet.
    Wasp: This is the coolest thing I've ever done! I'm driving a jet!
    Iron Man: [Over the radio] It's actually on auto-pilot, Wasp. Sorry.
  • After Doughboy is blown up, covering the team and even the Statue of Liberty in the messy residue.
    Thor: Victory... is ours.
    Wasp: Hooray.
  • After Jarvis welcomes Tony back, Thor explains Jarvis to Captain America:
    Thor: The building has it's own voice. *beat* It's very disconcerting.

Everything Is Wonderful
  • Wasp and Thor's entire battle with MODOC. As dangerous as he is, he ends up being nothing but their Butt Monkey.
    • Before that the Genre Savvy AIM Mook's horror when the other two reveal that they returned to base.
    AIM Mook: "The Avengers were chasing you, and you came here?!"
    (Wasp appears and casually leans against his head)
    Wasp: "Yeah guys, what were you thinking?"
    (Beat while the mook looks at her.)
    'Wasp: "Hi" (Zaps him).
  • After MODOC sees the transformation of Wonder Man was successful.
    MODOC: Amazing! I have created a being of pure ionic energy! I am science! I am a genius!
    *Mjolnir smacks him in the face and drives him through a wall*
  • The best part is Thor first spotting MODOC, where he drops his usual Shakespearean speech pattern and just goes "That... is a very big head." After a minute or so of MODOC bantering back, Thor is still sort of stuck on it and continues with "Like a Frost Giant's head on an infant's body."
    • It's even funnier because his psuedo-English accent disappears too.
    • Thor using Wasp's terminology and calling the AIM agents "Geeks".
  • Also, when Giant Man takes a moment to geek out over expanding ionic energy before getting hit by Wonder Man. His expression is priceless.

Panther's Quest
  • Captain America asking the "projectionist" to adjust the screen while he and the other Avengers watch some security camera footage.
  • While Ant-Man and Iron Man plan how to save Wakanda from Klaw:
    Ant-Man: The Vibranium should contain the sound from Klaw's sonic emitter. There's just a small chance that the vibrational shockwave could case destructive inference and then explode.
    (pause)
    Iron Man: I heard "destructive" and "explode."
  • Ant-Man's last ditch plan to stop Klaw's One-Winged Angel form of living sound is to have Iron Man strap on some Applied Phlebotinum and fly directly into him. Iron Man's This Is Gonna Suck reaction (and Hank only making a half-assed attempt to claim it won't) make the whole thing a very fun joke at his expense.
    Ant-Man: "It might... tingle. A lot."
    Iron Man: "Great..."
    • And later:
    Iron Man: "This is less like tingling and more like horrible pain!"
    • And afterwards, Iron Man's still feeling shaky after managing to trap Klaw: "Make me stop vibrating!"

Gamma World
  • Hawkeye telling the Hulk that he'd better do what he says, or else he'll take him out on his own. Also counts as a Moment Of Awesome since making Hulk laugh at that statement is how he makes Hulk turn back into Banner.
  • Absorbing Man absorbs the proprieties of Mjolnir, including that it's controlled by Thor. Cue Thor using Absorbing Man as a hammer.
  • Wasp to Black Panther: "I forgot you talked!"
  • After the Leader is defeated, we have this exchange
    Leader: (With his head more freakish than normal) "It would have been glorious. I was creating the perfect world all in my image."
  • Hulk referring to Hawkeye as "Cupid."
  • From "Gamma World Part 1":
    Captain America: (about Doc Samson) Why does that man have green hair?
    Iron Man: I have no idea.
  • The button Leader pushes to turn his podium into a robot suit has an angry face on it.

Masters of Evil
  • Thor not understanding the "assemble" signal.
    Thor: This card is troubling. Iron Man's technology is constantly making noises at me.
  • Hawkeye is a walking CMOF:
    His reaction to accidentally tasting a "poisonous" Wakandan skin cream. (As well as Black Panther's smirk afterwards.)
    Hawkeye: (being crushed by Abomination) Please... I'm begging you... brush your teeth.
    Hawkeye: (When Black Panther says he would meet death with dignity) I'll meet mine with kicking and screaming.
    Hawkeye: (after defeating the Masters of Evil) You know, I'm not so sure I wanna be part of a team I have to rescue every week.
    • Following the last moment mentioned in that list, Hawkeye's excitement after Black Panther sarcastically deems him worthy of becoming the new leader.
  • A tiny Ant-Man running towards Abomination, who thinks it'll be an easy win, only for Hank to grow into Giant-Man and punt Abomination through the roof.

459
  • For starters:
    Hulk: (Talking about Captain Mar-vell) I don't like him.
    Giant-Man: You don't like anybody.
  • After Captain Marvel says the Nega-Bomb will kill everything on earth.
    Hulk: I bet I'll survive.
  • After returning to earth after having thrown the Nega-Bomb into space.
    Thor: (To Iron Man) I would've woken before I hit ground. I did not need you to catch me.
    Iron Man: Of course you didn't.
    Hulk: Wimp!
  • And earlier:
    Wasp: Hulk, smash him.
    Hulk: Finally!
  • When Carol starts developing super powers:
    Carol: (levitating) Guys, why is the ceiling so low?
  • The look on Dr. Pym's face when Wasp calls out his apparent lack of romantic interests mid-battle.

The Man Who Stole Tomorrow
  • Cap repeatedly pwning Tony in a boxing ring. Hulk and Hawkeye enjoy it immensely.
  • Also, Wasp questioning the quality of one of her teammates' quotes:
    Thor: You wish to end a life, villain? Then try ours!
    Wasp: Yeah! Wait, what?
  • Wasp trash-talking Blizzard while they take him to the Negative Zone prison.
    Blizzard: This isn't fair! None of you could have taken me alone!
    Wasp: Man, you are a whiner! You've been complaining ever since we caught you, Blizzard. Which was really easy, by the way.

Come the Conqueror
  • Hawkeye and the Hulk hold off Kang's forces on a bridge. Hawkeye brags that he's taken down more enemies than the Hulk and Thor, then they are interrupted by another army of robots.
    Hawkeye: I'll take 'em all, you just get some rest, big guy.
    Robots then Combine into a mecha so big that it dwarfs Giant Man. Followed by an Oh Crap face from Hawkeye and Hulk.
    Hulk: Hmm. Maybe I will get some rest now. Good luck. (walks away)
  • When the Hulk leaps to help Giant Man and promptly gets sideswiped by a flying drone.

The Kang Dynasty
  • When Iron Man and Wasp try to break into Damocles:
    Wasp: We could pretend to be Girl Scouts. Everyone opens the door for Girl Scouts.
    Iron Man: You're not helping, Jan.
  • Also, Wasp's method for entering.
  • Another gem from Ant-Man.
    Ant-Man: Okay, so what now?
    Captain America: We take down Kang.
    Ant-Man: That's right, I forgot. Violence first.
  • Ant-Man insisting to Hulk and Hawkeye that Ultron is not creepy because he designed Ultron to resemble an ant's head.
  • Before Captain America boasts, "I don't think I can beat you, Kang...I think Iron Man can!", he quickly glances to his right, to make sure Tony found them.

Widow's Sting
  • We have this exchange:
    Mockingbird: I've come a long way since the days of driving you around.
    Hawkeye: That was like, three months ago.
  • From the beginning of the episode, the tiny-armed MODOC straining to remove one of Hawkeye's arrows from his head.
    MODOC: Can't reach... Retreat! Retreat!
  • Panther telling Cap that if Hawkeye betrays the Avengers, he will find a way to exploit Hawkeye's "weakness" for pretty women.
  • After Iron Man scolds Cap and Panther for helping Hawkeye disobey SHIELD:
    Iron Man: I told Hawkeye to let it go! Maybe you remember that?
    Captain America: It sounded more like a suggestion than an order.
    Black Panther: Wakandan elders teach that the line between "revenge" and "avenge" is easily blurred.
    Iron Man: (to Ant-Man) You see what I have to put up with?

The Casket of Ancient Winters
  • Magical blizzards engulf the entire world. Up until then, it was around 100 degrees out, so Hulk, Jan, and Clint were hanging out at the mansion's pool. Afterwards, the pool was frozen with the Hulk inside it.
    Hulk: You left Hulk in the pool. IT FROZE!
  • Prior to the blizzard, Hawkeye's hilarious tan lines. The dude has a farmer's tan.
  • After the storm begins, Clint tells Jan to look at the bright side. Jan asks him how they can do that, causing him to pause, then admit he can't find the bright side.
  • There's something to be said about the inherent funniness of the Hulk gently swimming back and forth in a swimming pool.
  • When Tony argues with Thor about how magic can prove as equally dangerous as science.
    Tony: You always complain about technology and science creating monsters, and now some magic box from Imaginationland has frozen the planet!
    Thor: Do you really wish to take this path? How many times have we faced danger created in a lab?
    Tony: I don't know, but I remember your little blond Enchantress taking down the whole team twice. And who was the guy with the axe, another Asgardian? Oh, right, he was gonna chop off my head.
    Thor: Amora and Skurge will be dealt with!
    Tony: Oh, so you're on a first name basis with them! Nice. You should form your own team, the Crazy Magic People.
  • This:
    Tony: I'm starting to think Wasp and Hawkeye are the smart ones.
    Black Panther: I did not realize there was any question.

Hail HYDRA!
  • The look on MODOC's face when the Cosmic Cube is almost fully uploaded.
    • Apparently Marvel thought this was funny too, and made the image into a promotional desktop wallpaper:[1]
  • This exchange:
    Hulk: I say we let 'em fight, enjoy the show.
    Pym: There's nothing to enjoy about fighting.
    Hulk: You're doing it wrong, then.
    • And then later, after Hulk saves Ant-Man from some Dreadnoughts.
    Hulk: See? Fighting is fun!
  • After Ant-Man watches Hawkeye admit to Black Widow that he has grown to understand and accept her reasons for framing him of betraying SHIELD, and Widow assure Hawkeye that she didn't enjoy betraying him, he comments, "And I thought Jan and I had issues."
  • And there's Hawkeye Lampshading the fact that he is usually the one to pull a Big Damn Heroes moment when the Avengers are in trouble.
    Hawkeye: Don't panic everyone, I'm here to save the world. Again.

Ultron-5
  • At the beginning of the episode, Black Panther and Hulk bring in the Red Ghost and his Super-Apes for custody.
    (Hulk busts down the door and tosses the unconscious villains into the room)
    Hulk: Called themselves the Super-Apes. Didn't seem so super to me.
    Iron Man: Why would you do that? The doors open automatically!
    Thor: Well done, Hulk. 'Tis surprising how many monkeys we face in battle.
  • After Ultron makes the computer systems in the Avengers' Mansion go crazy and attack the Avengers.
    Black Panther: The mansion's systems have been compromised.
    Hawkeye: No kidding.

The Ultron Imperative
  • After the Avengers took down the Ultron-controlled Iron Man armors and learned about the attack on the helicarrier, Hawkeye told Iron Man that he and Black Panther could finish up at the mansion while the others went to the helicarrier. After the other Avengers leave, cue all of the suits of armor powering back up and surrounding Hawkeye and Panther.
    Black Panther: (stares at Hawkeye)
    Hawkeye: Yeah, I know. I'm dumb.
  • While the Avengers and Maria Hill are battling Ultron aboard the helicarrier, Wasp points out that Hank didn't design Ultron with built-on guns, to which the robot responds that his model was modified by Tony Stark. Maria Hill glares at Tony and Hawkeye quips to Ultron:
    Hawkeye: That's just perfect. What did Hulk contribute; your bad attitude?

This Hostage Earth
  • Hawkeye has one:
    Hawkeye: Can anyone tell me how to stop this... whatever it is? There's an elf giving me a dirty look.
    Elf: >:|
  • Also his exchange with Chemistro.
    Chemistro: How could you not remember who I am? You punched me in the face!
    • The best part of this is that it's a long time Brick Joke. Back in "Breakout" part 1, Chemistro was gathering his stuff and Hawkeye did punch him in the face. Just makes the line more funny to show the ways Hawkeye socks it to the villains.
    • Even better, he guesses he's Paste-Pot Pete or the Hypno Hustler, two of the most ridiculously named villains Marvel's ever published.
  • During the battle between Wasp and Abomination, the latter catches the former between his hands. When he peers inside to see if she was crushed, he sees Wasp stick her tongue out at him like a little kid and then blast him right in the eyeball.

The Fall of Asgard

    Season 2 
The Private War of Dr. Doom
  • Johnny Storm boasting during the poker game that he and the other members of the Fantastic Four saved the world before breakfast.
  • Johnny acting shocked that Captain Americanote  would forget about him being the Human Torch. This becomes especially funny for those who can recall Chris Evans portraying Johnny and Steve in two different movie franchises.
  • The constant fighting and back and forth insults between The Hulk and The Thing.
  • When Sue welcomes Tony and Jan to the Baxter Building:
    Sue: Hi, Tony. Reed's in his lab. He's expecting you.
    Tony: What? Mr. Fantastic in his lab, ignoring you? Shocker. Why are you still hanging around with that guy, when you could be with me?
    (Jan elbows Tony)
    Tony:Uh, you know, as the Invisible Woman. Joining the Avengers.

Alone Against A.I.M.
  • Tony is working on a replacement for Cap's shield when Pepper walks in:
    Tony: Pepper, throw your shoes at me!
  • Although you could see it coming from a mile away from the recap, when Tony asks who his 7'o clock appointment is, it cuts to a very impatient Maria Hill remarking, "You're late."
  • Pepper Potts has a couple of pretty funny sarcastic quips to A.I.M.'s Scientist Supreme while she is held captive by him.
    Scientist Supreme: Do you know who I am?
    Pepper: *smirks* An angry beekeeper?
  • Tony Stark gets chewed out by Maria Hill just like every single other time she appears on screen. His reaction?
    Tony: "So I'm guessing dinner is out of the question"

Acts of Vengeance
  • Zemo and the surviving Masters of Evil approach the Avengers for an Enemy Mine against the Enchantress, but before he can explain anything, the Hulk does what he does best, tackles Abomination, and starts beating him up. And then keeps punching him in the background while Zemo and Captain America talk things out. Nobody seems to notice (or care) for a solid minute until Zemo points out, "Your monster attacked our monster," and Cap calls him off. Hulk stands down...but not before giving Abomination one last parting shot.
  • When the Avengers are in a huddle, discussing their alliance with the Masters of Evil:
    Hulk: We should just smash 'em!
    Hawkeye: Really? How long did it take you to come up with that plan, genius?
    Hulk: I can smash you too!

Welcome To the Kree Empire
  • The scene with Tony, Cap, and Hulk in the mansion contains such moments as the Hulk scarfing a whole chicken, Cap asking Tony if he's sure that Tony only blacked out once during their latest boxing match, and Hulk completely failing to give a crap:
    Tony: I'm gonna go rebuild JARVIS for the hundredth time.
    Hulk: No. Need you here. SHIELD called. (nonchalantly keeps eating)
    Tony: And...?
    Hulk: Aliens are invading. (still totally calm, keeps eating)
    Tony: (shares a look with Cap, then with strained patience) Did they say where?
  • The introduction of Abigail Brand, which ends with her threatening to shoot a non-cooperative computer.
    Brand: Access computer.
    (Nothing Happens)
    Brand: Access Please?
    (Nothing Happens)
    Brand: (Unholsters pistol) Access right now or I will shoot you in your stupid A.I. face!
    (Agent Danvers and Gynrich show up)
    Danvers: Uh commander, this is Henry Gynrch, our liaison.
    Brand: Not now, I have a computer to shoot.

To Steal an Ant-Man
  • After Iron Fist says it sounds exciting for him and "Power Man" to work with an Avenger:
    Luke Cage: Man, knock that off. And I told you never to call me, "Power Man," Danny!
  • After Crossfire mockingly asks Hank Pym, Iron Fist, and Luke Cage if they're supposed to be the Avengers:
    Luke Cage: Yeah, we're the Avengers. I'm Captain America and my friend in the pajamas is Thor. Now let the girl go before we avenge you upside the head.
  • After beating all the thugs and saving Scott Lang's daughter, we get this gem from Luke.
    Luke Cage: "Yo, Pym! Where do we send the bill?"
  • When Luke and Iron Fist first run into a couple of Cross's super-thugs, one of them repeatedly tries to punch out Cage, who just stands unmoving and unfazed for a few punches before cracking the guy's arm and tossing him into a dumpster, quipping,
    Luke Cage: It's called unbreakable skin, fool. *punch*

Michael Korvac
  • As Tony begins explaining the readings from studying Michael in detail to the Hulk, Tony realized the Hulk (who, like in "Welcome to the Kree Empire," is calmly eating chicken the whole time) probably doesn't understand or care about any of this. Cue the Hulk correctly identifying Michael's strange readings as cosmic energy before even Tony could come to that conclusion. Guess Tony forgot that Hulk shares his skull with a genius.
  • Hawkeye's quip during the Avenger's staredown with the Guardians that kind of calls back to Season One, "This Hostage Earth":
    Hawkeye (To Iron Man): There's a tree and a raccoon scowling at us, man. Are we firing?
  • The stand-off between Hulk and Rocket Raccoon, as the two hold their ground and try to intimidate the other.
  • Hawkeye noting that Korvac, being a former alien abduction victim and all, probably isn't going to react well to waking up Strapped to an Operating Table.
  • As the fight between the Guardians and the Avengers ends and everyone starts listening to the other side, Hulk comes crashing down from the ceiling, holding Groot's head, to grab Rocket Raccoon. As Hulk holds the two, Groot's head solemnly declares "I AM GROOT!" causing a reaction from both Rocket Raccoon and the Hulk.
  • As Iron Man analyzes Quasar, we get this.
    Iron Man: I have shields too, lady. Your sword isn't going to do much.
    Quasar *Uses her quantum bands to completely surround Iron Man with weapon constructs*
    Iron Man: (completely deadpan) Okay, those might do something.

Who Do You Trust?
  • Tony messing up the "welcome toast" meant to begin the pizza party.
    Clint: Wow, you're really bad at this.
    Tony: Well, I'm really good at "you just got fired" speeches, Hawkeye, if you catch my drift.
    • And then afterwards:
    Janet: I'm just happy there's finally another girl on the team.
    Tony and Clint: Hear, hear!
  • Hulk and the Black Panther are on monitor duty at the Avengers Mansion. When Hulk is getting restless at Panther's complete and utter silence, we get this gem:
    • To be more accurate, Hulk is on monitor duty. Black Panther is on Hulk duty.
  • Also, Hawkeye and Janet standing around heckling Ms. Marvel ("the new guy") while she's fighting Griffin. Captain America then rolls up and grimly notes that in his day, they didn't treat rookies like this. He adds they treated them a lot worse, then sits back to watch the fight.
  • Carol boasts that if Clint were still a SHIELD member, she'd outrank him. He responds by creating a little bow and firing a toothpick at her, which she promptly vaporizes.
  • Tony's rather blunt method of finding out who the Skrull is.
    Tony: ...Is anyone here a shape-shifting alien?
  • And after that. Fury on him doing that.
    Fury: This is a man that kept his identity secret for all of five minutes. Can't say I'm surprised.

Nightmare in Red
  • After Bruce Banner insists that as part of the Avengers, he should get a chance to help face Red Hulk:
    Hawkeye: You're not an Avenger, the Hulk is. Calling you an Avenger is like saying my bow is a member of the team.
  • After the team discovers that Red Hulk has captured Bruce Banner, Jan reminds everyone else that they can trace the signal of Banner's ID card to find out where the two of them went, then comments that they must really be in trouble if she had to come up with that plan.
  • Dr. Banner in his fishing hat and vest.
  • Stepping into an elevator, Bruce mentions that Hawkeye is making it hard to not just Hulk out and tear everything to pieces. Hawkeye sensibly edges to the side.

Prisoner of War
  • :As the ragtag group of prisoners attempt to escape the Skrulls that imprison them, we get this gem:
    Henry Gyrich: Captain, if we need to sacrifice the others to get me on that shuttle, I give you full authorization to do so.
    Dr. Lyle Getz: Who are you?
    Henry Gyrich: Henry Gyrich, Director of S.W.O.R.D.
    King Cobra: What's S.W.O.R.D.?
    Henry Gyrich: We're the agency responsible for dealing with alien threats.
    Dr. Lyle Getz: Well, I hope they fire you.
  • Mockingbird's distaste and annoyance at Cobra's lack of scruples.
    • When Mockingbird and Cobra are fighting Skrulls...
    Captain America: Go! Get to the ship!
    (Cobra turns and runs away to the ship)
    Mockingbird: Come on, let's... go? (sees Cobra running away) Psh.. supervillains...
    • After they board the escape shuttle...
    Cobra: What are you waiting for? Go!
    Mockingbird: (knocks him out) We're waiting for Cap and Viper, jerk!
  • When Cap and Viper board the plane, Clay Quartermain is behind the controls.
    Captain America: Go! Do it!
    Henry Gyrich: Hit the thrusters or something!
    ( Clay responds by smashing the console with both fists. The plane dematerializes and materializes far away.)
    Clay Quartermain: ...Okay, then.
    ( Clay looks up to see Viper, Mockingbird, and Gyrich glaring at him, while Cap is grinning)
  • Susan Storm's Mandatory Line:
    Hi, Cap. I'm gonna sleep now.

Infiltration
  • Carol probably didn't find it funny, but when she asks Jan how she's supposed to know she's not a Skrull, Jan answers, "Because I'm the awesome one!"
  • Wasp's quip after she punches Skrull!Ant-Man in the face.
    Wasp: That felt kinda good!
  • Iron Man: "JARVIS, I think we have to put Doctor Doom on the Christmas card list."

Secret Invasion
  • Maria Hill commenting on how often the Helicarrier gets trashed. Better yet, this line was lifted straight from the comics.
    "I've had the same car since I was nineteen years old and never had a problem, yet this thing falls out of the sky every other Thursday."
  • After Maria saved Tony Stark's life in a Wire Dilemma for his arc-reactor...
    Iron Man: That one. Thanks.

Along Came A Spider...
  • Tony Stark arguing with J. Jonah Jameson. And JJJ keeping his smugness throughout.
  • Hawkeye complaining that Peter Parker is "Ten years old." Peter retorts "I'm seventeen," to which Hawkeye replies "Respect your elders."
  • After running off as Peter Parker and coming back as Spiderman:
    Spiderman: *In impression of Christopher Nolan Batman voice* I'm Spiderman!
    Clay Quartermain: What's wrong with your voice?
  • When the car is attacked and the serpents free their leaders, Dr. Getz can be seen slowly getting out and running away.
  • When Spider-Man is fighting Bushmaster, he breaks off one of the villain's cybernetic arms, then casually rips off the other much to Bushmaster's surprise.
    Spider-Man: Whoops. Sorry about that. Hey, at least now you're more snake-like.
  • Spider-Man wondering why Death Adder, a snake-themed villain, has claws.
  • Spidey explaining to Iron Man that he's okay before passing out on the floor.
  • At the end of the episode after Spider-Man and Captain America fight the Serpent Society, J. Jonah Jameson unsurprisingly blames it partly on Spider-Man, while Cap was reported as the hero. Spider-Man reading the paper with Captain America next to him, is mad. Captain America then repeats the aesop that he said ealier in the episode. Spidey takes it to heart, saying that as his actions define who he is, he will web up JJJ's mouth. Captain standing there smiling simply says, "I'm okay with that."

Behold... the Vision!
  • Hawkeye challenging Black Panther to be King of Wakanda.
    • And at the end of the episode, Hawkeye tries to pull a fast one on Panther in the arena and throws a punch at him, but T'Challa simply spins him around and twists his arm behind his back.
    Hawkeye: Okay, okay! You can be King of Wakanda!
  • Jane Foster's embarrassment when Janet slyly asks if she keeps coming back to the Avengers Mansion just to see Thor.
  • When Panther, Hawkeye, Cap, and Thor are attacking Vision en masse towards the end of the episode, Vision consistently states the probability of his mission's success, with the number growing lower and lower with each attack.

Powerless!
  • When the Avengers arrive to take on the Wrecking Crew:
    Thor: Only the lowest of mortals would attempt such an assault in broad daylight.
    Iron Man: Well, that's the Wrecking Crew for ya; not exactly stand-outs in the thinking department. But they do pretty well in the "I'm about to take a repulsor blast to the face" department.
  • The Big Three and Hawkeye are walking through the subway station after Iron Man, Cap, and Thor lost their powers.
    Cap: We have to keep moving, we can't risk placing civilians in jeopardy.
    Hawkeye: Plus, they probably have a better shot at taking down the baddies than you guys do at this point.
    (All three glare at him)
    Hawkeye: Okay... Senses of humor, also gone.
  • Hawkeye fires his last arrow at Bulldozer, which hits him in his armored chest.
    Bulldozer: Ha! Ya missed!
    (the arrow explodes in a gas cloud, choking Bulldozer)
    Hawkeye: Psh, like I ever miss!
  • After the Cap, Thor, and Iron Man get their powers back and defeat Loki's Destroyer armor:
    Hawkeye: (throws a brick at the back of the empty Destroyer's head, knocking it over) I don't know what you guys would do without me.

Assault on 42
  • At the beginning of the episode when the Avengers are taking Whirlwind to 42.
    Wasp: It's off to prison again! You must be so psyched!
    Whirlwind: *annoyed grunt*
    Wasp: And not just any prison. You've got your own cell waiting for you in 42.
    Ms. Marvel: Jan, do you think it's necessary to tease the prisoner like that?
    Wasp: Yeah, pretty much. Especially when it's Dave; we go way back.
  • It's sort of a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, but after Blizzard freezes a wave of Annihilation bugs and makes a sheet of ice on the ground, for a split second you can see an alien bug sliding along the ice on its back, trying to steady itself and with a rather humorous expression.

Ultron Unlimited
  • When the Cap and Hawkeye robots show up in the mansion training room to take on Cap and Hawkeye, Clint makes a remark that really calls back to the Skrull invasion:
    Hawkeye: Okay, just to get this outta the way... I'm me.
  • After Hawkeye blows the Ms. Marvel robot to pieces:
    Hawkeye (to Ms. Marvel): (grins) Nothing personal!
    Ms. Marvel: (annoyed glare)
  • A moment of both Awesome and Funny happens during the fight with Ultron at the end, after Vision disconnects Ultron's head from his body. It's even funnier as a Call Back to a previous episode.
    Thor (flying in towards Ultron, Mjolnir raised): Ultron!
    (Thor smashes Ultron's head off his shoulders)
    Hawkeye: Nice shot.
    Thor: It was indeed satisfying.

Yellowjacket
  • This exchange:
    (Hawkeye is watching TV)
    Black Panther: You Westerners and your obsession with television. Wouldn't you be better served tracking down Dr. Pym's assailant?
    Hawkeye: Hey, you do research your way, I do it mine. Check it.
    (News bulletin about Yellowjacket comes on)
    News Announcer: And what do the Avengers have to say?
    Hawkeye on news interview: No comment. Hey, get that camera out of my face!
    Hawkeye (to Panther): *sigh* When it's good news, Tony always gets interviewed looking like a movie star. When it's bad news, ambush me. Never fails.
  • When the Avengers and Yellowjacket are trapped in the rapidly shrinking prison, Tony and Yellowjacket are trying to figure a way of escaping.
  • Honestly, most of Yellowjacket's snark though the episode results in these.
    Yellowjacket (during a chase sequence with Thor): Getting mad and throwing lightning bolts. A real tough strategy to crack.
    (Yellowjacket flies inside a building)
    Yellowjacket: Next, he'll probably brag about his hammer.
    (Thor crashes in, pointing his hammer at Yellowjacket)
    Thor: Taste the wrath of Mjolnir!
    (Yellowjacket simply gives a Psychotic Smirk)
  • Wasp demands to be in on fighting Yellowjacket:
    Wasp: (to Iron Man) If you say I should sit this one out, I'll zap you in your stupid metal face!
    Iron Man: *beat* Actually, I was going to suggest you hit him with everything you've got.
    Wasp: ....oh.
  • Cap returning Hawkeye's fist-bump.

Emperor Stark
  • After Vision has awakened, he finds all of the Avengers are missing. He reactivates JARVIS and asks where they are.
    Vision: Who is in New York?
    JARVIS: Thor serves as Iron Man's bodyguard. Hawkeye oversees the Iron Men. And Captain America is behind you.
    (Cap attacks)
  • After quickly disposing of an army of Iron Man armors, Hawkeye gives Vision a lesson in genre savvyness.
    Vision: That was of minimal difficulty.
    Hawkeye: Did you just say this was easy? You never say it was easy, ever!
    Vision: Why?
    (A brainwashed Thor appears)
    Thor: Your end has come, betrayers!
    Hawkeye: That's why.
  • Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel and Vision have just stolen a Quinjet and are flying into space to destroy the satellite that's controlling the world when JARVIS alerts them of impending danger.
    JARVIS: Warning. Sensors indicate multiple Iron Men are guarding the satellite.
    Hawkeye: That's bad.
    JARVIS: Warning. Long-range sensors indicate that Thor is in pursuit.
    Hawkeye: That's worse.

New Avengers
  • After the Avengers disappear, Tony sends out emergency messages to several of the New Avengers, including Spider-Man and Wolverine, who had just taken out some dinosaurs. The general gist of the message is "you've proven yourself heroes, so now we need you to replace us".
    Holo Iron Man: The world is depending on you. So go save it.
    Wolverine: I'm pretty sure he was talkin' to you.
    Spidey: Well, what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what's going on!
    JARVIS: Hello, Spider-Man.
    Spidey: Gaaaaah!
    • "Well, the weird British computer guy in my head..."
  • Spider-Man introducing Wolverine to the others as his sidekick.
    Wolverine: Don't push it, web-head.
  • The Thing explaining that he stayed behind when the rest of the Fantastic Four were in another dimension to watch the game. He then asks War Machine if his armor can pick up the score for the game while they save the world.
  • The Thing asking if he's in some alternate universe in reaction to seeing War Machine unmask his armor and not be Tony Stark probably caused some fans of the Ultimate Spider-Man comics to chuckle.
  • While Iron Fist is beating up ninjas, he speaks to them in Japanese. Luke Cage asks him what he said to them:
  • Luke Cage deciding to help Iron Fist save everyone on the grounds that they send the Avengers the bill for his heroics since the temporal distortions are something they should be handling. Becomes a brick joke when Iron Man points out that Luke sent him a bill at the end of the episode.
  • Spider-Man's feeble attempt at an "Avengers Assemble!"
    Thing: *awkward pause* That coulda been better.
  • At the end of the episode after Iron Man gives Spider-Man an Avengers ID card, Spidey asks if it can get him a discount anywhere.
    Iron Man: (turns to Cap and Thor) Are we sure about this?
    • Especially funny for those who have read the comics and know that She-Hulk once said they do get you 10% off at Starbucks.

Operation Galactic Storm
  • The interactions between Yellowjacket and Abigail Brand, especially when trying to take out the bomb that the Kree planted on the SHIELD ship.
    Yellowjacket (completely deadpan): Yeah, I've got nothin'. It's going to explode. You've got about twenty-five seconds.
    Agent Brand: I can't evacuate two million people; there's not enough time. You have to do something!
    Yellowjacket: It's going to detonate, I can't stop it. (looks at bomb) Ten seconds.
    Agent Brand: (stares at him in shock and despair) Pym...
    Yellowjacket: My name is Yellowjacket. (shoots the bomb with his Pym-disc gun and it shrinks into nothing) Two seconds.
    Agent Brand: I don't- Wha... what did you do?!
    Yellowjacket: I sent it to the microverse. It just wiped out a few molecules.
    Agent Brand: Why didn't you do that in the first place, why'd you wait?!
    Yellowjacket: (grins) I just wanted to see the look on your face.
    Agent Brand: *beat* *Death Glare* *punch*
    • Piece of advice, don't troll Agent Brand. It's hazardous to your health.
  • In a quite similar situation on one of the Kree ships, Cap, Wasp, and Hawkeye are fighting a Kree Sentry while Black Panther calmly works at the ship's computer. After curbstomping the other Avengers, the robot sees Panther and approaches from behind, ready to blast him, but he simply types in a code and the Sentry is teleported into the sun.
    Hawkeye: What was that?!
    Panther: I teleported the Sentry out of the ship and into the sun. Thank you for distracting it while I learned the ship's systems.
    Hawkeye: (holds his aching back) I seriously hate you.

Live Kree or Die
  • After taking down an alien monster on Hala, Hawkeye comments that they should be okay after they took the first one down easily. Cue dozens of the creatures, most larger than the one they took down, rising from the ground and surrounding the team. Vision then reminds Hawkeye what he said about Tempting Fate in "Emperor Stark".
  • At the end of the episode...
    Thor: Verily, for as much as I enjoy your company, friends, five-weeks journey through subspace is a very long time. Especially when forced to endure Hawkeye's complaints.
    Hawkeye: Hey!

Avengers Assemble
  • As Terrax attacks New York, Iron Man questions why his tower is always the first target when things like this happen.
  • Yellowjacket, Mr. Fantastic, Doc Samson, Iron Man, and Ms. Marvel head to one of Galactus' ships, with Mr. Fantastic mentioning that they need to approach with caution. Yellowjacket proceeds to use his shrink gun to make a hole in the ship for them to enter through.
    Yellowjacket: What's he gonna do, eat us more?
  • Poor Johnny Storm got put on the team that fought Stardust, the water-elemental herald.
    Human Torch: Why did I have to be on the water team? I hate water!
  • Spider-Man's banter towards Terrax.
    Spidey: 'Scuse me, but you've got a little something on your face!
    (shoots webbing into Terrax's face)
    Spidey: Although frankly, it's an improvement!

     Misc 
  • There's a Running Gag in several episodes, starting in "Some Assembly Required", where Hulk keeps smashing through the gates/doors/walls/ceilings of the Avengers Mansion (even when there's an easier way through), always to Tony's chagrin.
    Iron Man: Why would you do that? The doors open automatically!
  • The In-Character Commentaries on one of the DVDs contains at least a few.
    Tony: Oh, look. Me with a robot face. Still handsome.
    • When Steve has to type in his password at the beginning of the extra, he types in seven characters, causing some fans to guess his password as "America".
    • Hulk claims that the battle against Galactus could have gotten resolved more quickly if the team just asked him to smash Galactus.
      • This leads to Hulk fighting Thor and Iron Man, and during the fight, they break the computer (IE, the screen the audience is watching) and cause it to reboot.

From the comics:

     The Limited Series 
  • From "Trust", after Hawkeye and Black Panther have taken down Whiplash when Panther jumped him in the dark, he mentions his suit lets him see in the dark. Hawkeye responds typically with, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?!?" Panther's response: "I trusted you already knew."
  • When Janet fails to gather her teammates for a group picture during the start of the tie-in comic "Team", Tony probably takes the cake when he tells Jan to Photoshop him into the picture so he could continue working.

     Marvel Universe 
  • Black Panther quipping in "Enter the Mandarin" that the animosity between Mandarin and Tony Stark confirms that each continent has someone who hates him.
  • After Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor capture Grey Gargoyle, Cap assures Thor that a Midgard prison could hold him as well as an Asgard dungeon can.
    Captain America: He's already caused too much trouble here. And as much as the Gargoyle wanted to be immortal, he's just a man.
    Iron Man: A man who loves crepes.
    Grey Gargoyle: Very funny, Stark. (softly) I do love crepes.
  • Both sides of Gemini contradict each other whenever they talk in "Did You Hear the One About Scorpio?" Eventually, Wasp demands in vain for Gemini to make up his mind.
  • Hawkeye dismissing the backstory of King Solomon's Frogs:
    Panther: (paraphrased) The origins of the golden frogs are shrouded in mystery...They were given to King Solomon over 3000 years ago as a gift...The frogs were stolen by Aladdin himself, and are even said to be responsible for the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland.
    Hawkeye: ENOUGH! Look, Panther...if you don't know what these things are, just say so. You don't have to make things up.
  • The Vision becomes a Mr. Exposition/Captain Obvious in "The Serpent Crown", constantly annoying the other Avengers.
    • Ms. Marvel later threatens one of the Serpent Society members that she can release him from custody, then beat him back into custody. The Vision then tries to tell her, "That does not make sense."
  • "They Came From Inner Space!" ends with Wasp remembering that she had enough extra Pym Particles to shrink Iron Man and Captain America, but not to change them back to normal size afterward.
    Iron Man: ...Aaaaaaand you're fired.
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