History Funny / AssassinsCreedSyndicate

* Once again, Shaun is responsible for writing the database. And once again, it is hilarious.

* Item descriptions can get downright {{lemony|narrator}} at times.

-->''Historical records document a scandal that took place in [St. Mary Matfelton] church around 1710. I know! A scandal in a church! Whatever next! Anyway, it seems like the rector of the church set up an altarpiece depicting the Last Supper, and had the figure of Judas made to look exactly like a personal enemy of his, the Dean of Peterborough. As far as passive aggression goes, I'd say that's pretty aggressive. It's also bloody brilliant.''

* The start of the Charles Dickens memories is priceless too. Dickens asks the Fryes if they believe in ghosts. Jacob scoffs at the idea, but then Evie gives a quite firm yes. Jacob then starts to make a remark, and Evie gives him a DeathGlare of such horrific intensity that it could have only come from one sibling to the other. Jacob backs down instantly.

* The start of the Charles Dickens memories is priceless too. Dickens asks the Fryes if they believe in ghosts. Jacob scoffs at the idea, but then Evie gives a quite firm yes. Jacob then starts to make a remark, and Evie gives him a DeathGlare of such horrific intensity that it could have only come from a sister to a brother. Jacob backs down instantly.

-->Born: [[ThePrecursors I have no earthly idea.]]

** While detailing the history of the Brotherhood, Shaun mentions how they were involved in the American Revolution, the French Revolution and [[RuleOfThree the Haiti Revolution]]. He adds "we're big on revolutions."

* When you meet the Disraelis, one of the new articles in the database happens to be about Mary-Anne's pet corgi, Desmond. It's a bittersweet moment.

** While detailing the history of the Brotherhood, Shaun mentions how they were involved in the American Revolution, the French Revolution and [[RuleOfThree the Haiti Evolution]]. He adds "we're big on revolutions."

* When Jacob assassinates James Brudenell he's subjected to a long, hammy speech that has him eyerolling the whole time. When it's finally done, he dryly remarks "What a prick."

'''Great Old One's Caress''': The knuckles's description reads that they "were hupadgh n'gha ng n'ghft" and are shaped like a tentacle that curls over the hand.\\

'''Darbie's Bear Paw''': Ever wanted to wrestle a bear? Wear these to even the odds. Also you probably don't want to wrestle a bear.
'''Great Old One's Caress''': The knuckles's description reads that they "were hupadgh n'gha ng n'ghft" and are shaped like a tentacle that curls over the hand.

---> '''Rebecca:'''I'd be grateful if we could come up with a new term for us that isn't "Brotherhood." Tens of thousands of years fighting for progressive and free thought, and we're still stuck with that?

--> '''Jacob Frye''': I don't suppose you'll be offered any more cake. (Evie walks off in a huff).

--> '''Rebecca:'''I'd be grateful if we could come up with a new term for us that isn't "Brotherhood." Tens of thousands of years fighting for progressive and free thought, and we're still stuck with that?

--> By the 2000s, in - ahem - certain countries I absolutely refuse to name, [[TakeThat much of the general public appears to have taken a big step backwards]]! *[[DontExplainTheJoke I'm talking about America]].

--> It was also one of the first truly "modern" wars, if large masses of men shooting each other over which toff got to call themselves Emperor of Wherever can be called "modern." Technology like the exploding artillery shell, the railroad, and the telegraph shaped the conflict, and the advent of photographic technology meant it was one of the first wars to be documented in the press. This was particularly delightful in that the great legacy of the Crimean war was [[GeneralFailure the rank incompetence and general mismanagement on the part of the leadership of all sides]]. Something to really be proud of there. [[EpicFail If you're going to be inept, be REALLY inept]]. For the citizens on the home front puffed up with [[PatrioticFervor patriotic fervour]], this was a bit like going to see your favourite band in concert only to realise that they only sounded good thanks to auto-tune and ruthless editing.

-->I didn't realize it was legal to patent pasteurized sheep urine. I'm starting to have second thoughts about this project.

-->Excuse me. I must just pop to the loo. For the seventeenth bloody time in an hour.

-->'''Database Entry:''' Not funny, universe. Not funny at all.
-->(Jeez, what'd you find in there? Shaun's locked himself in his room, [[INeedAFreakingDrink I can't find the whiskey]], and I think I hear crying. --RC.)

--> '''Evie''': I'd like to follow up a lead on... *Noticing Jacob's antics* Jacob? This is serious.
--> '''Jacob''': *As he holds up the broken grapple gun* [[SkewedPriorities I'm not doing anything until this gets fixed.]]

--> '''Henry''': *Handing Evie a [[KukrisAreKool kukri]]* Here. I'm sure you can put this to better use than I can.
--> '''Jacob''': *Taking the kukri for himself, eyeing it as if he's found the love of his life* ''What's this,'' Greenie? Assassin Christmas?

--> '''Henry''': *Giving a pistol to each twin* Here, you might be able to use this.
--> '''Jacob''': Oh, God, I hope so!

-->''[[AllAnimalsAreDogs Who's a good horse? You are!]]''

--> '''Blighter''': What the hell is going on?!
--> '''Jacob''': [[BlatantLies I'm the sanitary inspector.]] This man is dead.

--> '''Mary Anne:''' What do you intend to do about [[UsefulNotes/WilliamGladstone Gladstone]], young man?
--> '''Jacob:''' I assure you, madam, Gladstone is innocent in this.
--> '''Mary Anne:''' [[TautologicalTemplar But he tried to kill my husband]].
--> '''Jacob:''' Well, [[BlatantLies we'll look into Gladstone]].

--> '''Evie''': We will free London from Starrick, you have my word.
--> '''Jacob''': (Butting in, visibly annoyed) And my Rooks!
--> '''Henry''': [[JustIgnoreIt Miss Frye, your passion is inspiring.]]

--> '''Evie:''' "Jacob! Careful!"
--> '''Jacob:''' "What is it?"
--> '''Evie:''' "It's PAPERS, Jacob. Documents. Research!"
--> '''Jacob:''' "What are we supposed to do with PAPERS?"
--> '''Evie:''' "READ THEM."

-->'''Earl of Cardigan:''' Now then, let's discuss this like gentle-([[OhCrap suddenly realizes it's Jacob]]) Good God! Who the bloody [[CurseCutShort he-]]
-->'''Jacob:''' Oh, shut up. (slashes the Earl's throat with his Hidden Blades)

--> '''Grammatica:''' Sigma Team's been disbanded. You've both been reassigned to the Phoenix Project, and yet here you are, defying orders by breaking into '''my''' facility and trying to interrogate a Precursor! [[ArsonMurderAndAdmiration I knew I liked you for a reason, Berg.]] Proceed.
--> '''Berg''': Thank you. ''(silenced gunshot)''

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* After completing the [[spoiler:World War I memories]], you unlock a few database entries about certain characters, including one for Juno.

* During the mission to assassinate [[spoiler:the Earl of Cardigan]], Jacob can speak to a politician who can lead him to straight to the target's office. What's Jacob's cover?

** And if you access [[spoiler:the Earl's]] room with the password, you'll find he has his back to you. Rather than simply stab him, Jacob waits for him to finish his paperwork, resulting in this hilarious interaction:
-->'''[[spoiler:Earl of Cardigan]]:''' Now then, let's discuss this like gentle-([[OhCrap suddenly realizes it's Jacob]]) Good God! Who the bloody [[CurseCutShort he-]]
-->'''Jacob:''' Oh, shut up. (slices [[spoiler:the Earl's]] throat with his hidden blades)
* The final mission is just a consecutive string of [=CMOAs=] and [=CMOFs=]. The Frye twins are in formal wear; the game outright tells you: "Evie's movements are RESTRICTED by her dress", and she HATES it. [[spoiler:When Starrick snatches the key to the Shroud of Eden,]] she sends Jacob to [[spoiler:stop him]] while she "get[s] out of this... [[OfCorsetHurts infernal contraption]]!" After [[spoiler:Jacob handles the first round of the FinalBoss fight]], we cut back to Evie as she steps out of a hiding curtain, unceremoniously discards the dress, ''sheathes her Hidden Blade'', and gives the garment a very relieved-sounding "[[SeriousBusiness Requiescat in pace]]."

--> '''Grammatica:''' Sigma Team's been disbanded. You've both been reassigned to the Phoenix Project, and yet here you are, defying orders by breaking into '''my''' facility and [[spoiler:trying to interrogate a Precursor]]! [[ArsonMurderAndAdmiration I knew I liked you for a reason, Berg.]] Proceed.

* If you collect the Helix glitches, you can get a few hints of humor from the modern day Assassins. Arend Schut-Cunningham consoles Galina [[spoiler:for not killing Berg]] because he called dibs. Kiyoshi Takakura's search list reads like a travel food guide. Also, that Berg's big move in VideoGame/AssassinsCreedRogue, to video bomb the Assassins with Shay's demoralizing story had ''zero'' effect on morale. You get the feeling that Bishop closed communications not only for security, but to just get the others to ''shut up.''

* [[spoiler:Galina]] gives Shaun the fright of his life when she suddenly appears behind him. She also teases him that he screams like a little girl on their previous assignment.

* A minor point, but the OneSteveLimit is thoroughly defied with [[Creator/CharlesDickens a man named Charles whose last name begins with a D]] and [[Creator/CharlesDarwin a man named Charles whose last name begins with a D]].

** The earnestness of Evie's tone and expression followed by Jacob's stunned FlatWhat is what sells it. The Queen's bemused and sarcastic response is also hilarious. After Queen Victoria and Disraeli leave in an awkward silence, Jacob slips in one last quip