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troperville

"...I don't like lollipops..."
When Butler goes against his training and makes as much noise as he can (he's making a diversion). His shame over performing a spinning kick is just icing on the cake.
"This building has been hit by more lasers than the Millennium Falcon."
"It's not a lemur, it's a monkey!"
Orion since he's an expy of Don Quixote mixed with a Hormone-Addled Teenager.
Holly: Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals.
Orion: Not me! I'm just a teenager with hormones running wild. And I must say, young fairy lady, they are running wild in your direction.
Holly: This had better not be a game, Artemis. If you do not have some serious psychosis, you will be sorry.
Orion: Oh, I'm crazy, all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality disorder, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.
Foaly: That's not a bad line. He is definitely not Artemis.
"Look, I scraped an F for Foaly."
Artemis in jeans and a dumb t-shirt..
Just about every scene in the third book involving Pex and Chips.
We should make a bivouac.
"Quantum zombies. I'd like to get a copy of that program."
Everything N*1 says. EVERYTHING.
No.1: I like swear toads. I have two at home named Bleep and D'Arvit. They are often very rude to me, but I know they don't mean it.
Then there is this gem concerning the Kraken from the Time Paradox:
Holly: So... you're saying that Shelly is going to light a fart?
Foaly: No, I'm saying that Shelly is going to light THE fart!
- Foaly then goes on to say that the last time this much bodily gas was in one location was at the last dwarf tribal gathering.
"Peace be inside me, tolerance around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so I may feed him his organs"
"One, don't call me Julius. Two, do what I say, horsey boy, or I'll have your budget slashed. And three, what in Frond's name is the cancan?"
"That proves it... This must be a hallucination." (Mind-wiped Artemis' reaction to the Bizarro Episode culminating in being saved by a talking rear end (Mulch Diggums hanging from a rope).
The entire conversation between Gobdaw (possessing Myles' body) and Artemis in The Last Guardian. Artemis essentially trolls Gobdaw into revealing himself after pretending his spirit had left Myles' body.
This bit from early in The Last Guardian:
"Hey," snapped Holly. "This is not the time to blame Artemis."
"Thank you," said Artemis."Finally."
"There will be plenty of time to blame Artemis later, when this is resolved."
- Especially funny because, for once, Artemis has done nothing wrong and is not even slightly at fault for the current situation.
"I am Butler. Everything I say sounds tough. Now, get out of the lake, fairy."
Myles and Beckett's reactions to Artemis putting a combination lock on his lab door - Myles works out the combination after three days of work and several rolls of toilet paper, and Beckett digs a bear trap for Myles and gives him the ladder in exchange for the code.