Funny / Alvin and the Chipmunks

For The Alvin Show:

For Alvin and the Chipmunks/The Chipmunks:

  • One episode has Alvin suing Brittany on a parody of The People's Court. The best gag is how Alvin proved Brittany was faking her injuries.
    Alvin: Hey look, it's Don Johnson!
    (Brittany leaps out of her wheelchair & excitedly hops up & down)
    Brittany: Where? Where?
    Alvin: A-ha! See your honor, she was faking! note 
    • Earlier in the episode, as Alvin suddenly limps towards the courthouse.
    Simon: What's with the limp?
    Alvin: Just a liiiiittle insurance.
    Simon: What happened to "truth, justice, and the American way"?
    Alvin: This is the American way.
  • In "Snow Job", Alvin learns to ski but ignores Simon's instructions, and he ends up tumbling down and creating a giant snowball, which is heading toward Simon and Theodore:
    (Theodore runs around in a panic)
    Simon: (just stands there) Why can't he just listen for once?
  • The Running Gag with T-shirts the episode where Alvin and Simon help Theodore on his history test. The first is when Columbus (Alvin) arrived. Later the pilgrims came and offered T-shirts to the two indians already wearing the shirts Columbus gave them.
    "More T-shirts?"
    • Then in Custard's Last Stand.
    Alvin as Custard: How about some T-shirts, chief?
    Simon as Sitting Bull: No more stupid T-shirts!
    Alvin as Custard: Okay. Then how about some party favors? Whoopie Cushions?
    Simon as Sitting Bull: Let's charge him!
    Alvin as Custard: No problem. I take credit cards.
    Simon as Sitting Bull: No! We charge you!
  • From the episode "Snow Wrong":
    Brittany: Nobody, but nobody calls my sister a jerk!!!
    Jeanette: Uh... but, you do all the time...
    Brittany: That's different!
  • From "Thinking Cap Trap" when the Chipmunks appear on a game show:
    Host: Alvin, what is syntax?
    Alvin: Syntax... A tax the church collects from sinners?
  • From "The Gang's All Here," Jeanette falls down while roller skating, bringing Brittany down with her.
    Jeanette: Sorry, Brittany. I tell my feet where to go, but they just don't listen to me.
    Brittany: (Grabs Jeanette's foot) GET OFF THE RINK!!!
    Jeanette: But... maybe they'll listen to you instead.
  • In "My Fair Chipette," a bet arose between Alvin and Brittany that Alvin could turn Jeanette into beauty queen material; when he succeeds, Brittany calls off the bet, desperate to win the beauty pageant, but the funny part is when you really stop and think about the following exchange between the two, It Makes Sense in Context.
    Brittany: Please take the money, Alvin! I'm a desperate woman!
    Alvin: Brittany, let go of my leg!

For The Chipmunk Adventure:

For Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet Frankenstein:

For Alvin and the Chipmunks Meet the Wolfman:

For Little Alvin and the Mini-Munks:

For the live-action movie with Jason Lee:

  • Alvin’s deep voice when he sucks in the helium.
  • When Dave first meets the Chipmunks and lays down how things are gonna be run around his house. When..
    Alvin: Lemme ask you: have you ever written a song before?
    Dave: Yep.
    Alvin: And... is that your music stuff outside?
    Dave: Yep. (thunder rumbles, reminding Dave that his songwriting equipment is soaked in the rain) ...OH, NO!
    Simon: Hurry back!

For The Squeakquel:

  • That "purr" sound Simon makes in the second movie when he sees Jeanette.
  • When Alvin runs into Brittany at the lunch table
    Alvin: I just wanted to warn ya about Ian.
    Brittany: What? You should be grateful to him and you broke his heart!
    Alvin: Oh, really? How do I put this gently? He doesn't have one. Oh, and one of the things he did for us was put us in a cage!
    Alvin: Oh, I forgot. 'Cause you weren't there. Uh, Brit, you'd better watch out.
    Brittany: I don't need advice from you!
    Alvin: But, Brittany—
    Brittany: But nothing, Alvin. Ian's taking us straight to the TO-HO-HOP! [she and her tray slide off the end of the counter; the students laugh]
    Alvin: Got it. "Straight to the top." Ironic.
    Brittany: Yeah, funny! (fake laughter)
  • Simon drastically overestimates Ian's intelligence.
    Simon: All right, now the third number is always the toughest to crack... I'll assume it's a prime number, but we can't assume-
    Jeanette: Simon... the first two numbers were one... I'm gonna go with one. ([1]) Ah, it worked!

For Chipwrecked:

  • When Alvin tries to get An amnesiac Simon's attention
    Brittany: "Alvin? You’re starting to sound like Dave."
    —>Cut to another part of the island as Dave wakes up from hearing the Alvin's echoing scream. Then shrugs and lays back down on the manmade nest. Then Ian tries to nab Dave's macaroni necklace that Theo made him. But Dave, without even opening his eyes, swats his hand at Ian.
  • After the kite incident and the 6 Chipmunks are drifting away at sea, Alvin has this to say:
    Alvin: In retrospect, this was a bad idea.
    • As Theo's floating on a donut as a inter tube at the end of the kite string
    Theodore: I don't think I can make it much longer! I'm so hungry! Just one bite?
    Simon: No.
    Theodore: A nibble?
    Simon: No nibbles!
    Theodore: Can I at least lick the glaze?
    Simon: The glaze is what's keeping you alive, Theodore! Its high-fat content is creating a water-proof barrier.
    Theodore: I'm gonna starve to death!
    Jeanette: Actually, there are many ways that would kill you before starvation: dehydration, sunstroke—
    Eleanor: [gasps] An island!
    Jeanette: No, an island would probably be helpful. So if you see one you should definitely say something.
    Brittany: Uh, Jeanette? [gestures towards the island]
    Jeanette: Oh!
  • When the exhausted chipmunks arrive on the island
    Alvin: We're alive! We're alive!
    Brittany: Good! 'Cause now... I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!
    Simon: Guys, guys, guys! Nobody is killing anybody! [grits his teeth at Alvin] No matter how much he deserves it.
    Alvin: Thanks, Si. Though I could've done without the passive aggression. (clears throat) Look, we've got nothing to worry about. Dave knows we're gone by now. He probably has the whole coast guard looking for us. Meantime, why don't we all just relax and have some donut?
    (Theodore has already eaten the whole donut. He faces the others with wide eyes.)
    Theodore: Did you guys want some?
    (All groan)
    • The terrified expression Alvin has on his face as the furious Brittany looms over him before Simon comes between them just sells it.
  • To make a fire, Simon demonstrates a magnifying glass by using his specs to reflect the sun's light. When Jeanette compliments him on it being impressive, Simon, distracted, redirects the beam to his foot.
    Simon: HOT! HOT! HOT! [limps around the beach & jumps into the ocean] Ah...
  • When the Chipmunks are fighting over a mango, Alvin swings right into a tree!
    Alvin: Ow! My acorns!
    • When Eleanor gets a hold of the mango, she imitates Gollum:
    Eleanor: My precious! My precious!
    • Culminating in Jeanette stopping the fight holding the mango above her.
    Jeanette: STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! Look at us! One day on this island, and we've become...ANIMALS!
  • As everyone escapes the island: Even after Ian Hawke's sincere Heel–Face Turn, the Chipmunks still don't quite trust him.
    Ian: 'Sup?
    [reaches out his hand to for a dap from Alvin; Alvin doesn't dap him]]
    Ian: What? No love for Uncle Ian?
    Brittany & Eleanor: YOU PUT US IN CAGES!
    Ian: What?! Seriously? Are we still talking about that?! New subject: I saved Dave's life!

For Road Chip:

  • This Hilarious Brick Joke Alvin has arranged a wild birthday party for Dave (without his permission of course)
    Alvin: When I say "party," you say "Alvin!" PARTY!
    Crowd: ALVIN!!!
    Alvin: PARTY!
    Crowd: ALVIN!!
    Alvin: PARTY!
    Dave: (unplugging the music) 'ALLLVIIIIINNNNN!!!!!!'
    Alvin: He-he-he! Whoa! Buzzkill!
    • Gets an even louder reprise when Dave finds out the boys left the house, seeing them on TV performing in the Mardi Gras parade
  • Miles is holding a coke can in his hand when he sees Ashley for the first time, he gazes so smitten that he unwittingly spills his can of coke—all over Theodore!
  • This little exchange
    Dave: I thought you were mature enough to take care of yourselves!
    Alvin: That's insulting. We're very mature!
    (A loud fart is heard)
    Theodore: Heheh! Sorry. Pizza toots.
  • The first confrontation with Agent James Suggs after Theodore causes the cargo pets to go loose on the plane. Suggs then reveals to the Chipmunks that he hates them for one of their songs causing his girlfriend dump him in favor of his fandom towards the Chipmunks.
    James Suggs: You provided the soundtrack to my heartbreak! But now it's payback time! I'm putting you three on the No-Fly List!
    Chipmunks: What?! But we gotta get to Miami!
    James Suggs: See, I'm an air marshal. I'm all-powerful, I'm all-seeing and I'm all-knowing.
    Alvin: Then you obviously know that you just made that entire speech with your tie in a cup of coffee.
    (Suggs pulls his tie out of the mug. Miles tries not to laugh.)
    James Suggs: D'oh! I'll be back in two minutes.
    Alvin: You also still have a little parrot poop on your shirt.
    James Suggs: 10 minutes. And one more thing. Don't even think about leavin'. I have a very particular set of skills. Skills that I've acquired for a very long—
    Alvin: You just put your hand on an ink pad.
    (Suggs lifts his hand. His palm has ink on it.)
    James Suggs: 15 minutes. (leaves)
  • As Suggs chases the Chipmunks and Miles out of the bar saloon!
    Alvin: Whoopsie!
    Suggs: ...take a little nap... (passes out)
  • The Chipettes spend most of the movie on a tour to judge American Idol, to the the Chipmunks' (well, mainly Alvin's) jealousy.
    Brittany (on TV): You're going to Hollywood!
    Alvin: Aw! I always wanted to say that!
    • Later, Alvin gets his chance to say the phrase as he rallies the girls for his plan to make things up with Dave.
  • When Suggs confronts the Chipmunks in New Orleans.
    (Theodore looks in a hat set for tips)
    Theodore: Alright! A tater tot! Looks like our luck is finally turning around!
    Suggs: It's not.
    Simon: Oh, no! Suggs?!
    Suggs: Hello, boys!
    Simon: How'd you find us?!
    Suggs: Ahaha! I'm an air marshal! Law enforcement's my life. Now we can either do this the easy way or the hard way.
    Alvin: My brothers and I would like to discuss our options!
    Suggs: You only got one option: Chipmunk Jail! With tiny little bars, a tiny little barbed wire fence, a tiny toilet, and a tiny yard where you can lift your tiny little weights!
    Theodore: It sounds adorable.
  • Suggs gives chase to the Chipmunks, only to get hit in the face with a trombone, and getting absolutely drunk during the Mardi Gras parade. The next morning, he wakes up in a hotel room with other passed out people.
    Suggs: Oh... Where am I? What's this? (moves a carnival mask aside to find a man underneath) YAAAAAAH!
    Vito: Suggs!
    Suggs: Who are you?
    Vito: It's Vito, the band's manager, remember?
    Suggs: The only thing I remember is being attacked by a trombone.
    (Vito helps Suggs up to his feet)
    Vito: Oh, right, yeah. You got that crazy bump on your head. You didn't care, though. You just wanted to party! We hit every jazz club in the Quarter.
    Suggs: What do you mean, "We"?
    Vito: You, me and those dope Chipmunk dudes.
    (Suggs stares at Vito in horror)
    Suggs: I partied with those tree-skunks?!
    Vito: They're the ones who dared you to get that sassy tattoo!
    Suggs: What? What? (unbuttons his shirt and gasps at a tattoo that reads "sugg life" on his chest) How could I have let them talk me into this?!
    Vito: Oh, no, you asked for that one. The other one was their idea.
    (Suggs slowly turns to Vito)
    Suggs: What "other one"? (There's a huge tattoo on his back displaying the Chipmunks with the phrase "Munks for Life". Suggs looks in the mirror and shrieks in horror.) YAH! Aaaah....
  • Suggs is equipped with a yellow cab, to his extreme disappointment.
    Suggs: Are you kiddin' me right now? Ya know what this is? This is a roller skate with wheels!
    Rent-A-Car Employee: Pretty sure roller skates come with wheels.
    Suggs: Ah! (snatches his rental agreement and gets angrily into the car) It's like Tweety Bird!
    Rent-A-Car Employee: Buckle up!

For ALVINNN!!! and the Chipmunks:

  • From the episode "Clowning Around":
    Simon: Alvin, turn off your electronics! There's a new thing - it's called the energy crisis!
    • From the same episode: Apparently Theodore's second-worst fear is the theme song for The Brady Bunch.
  • In "Secret Admirer", Alvin thinks a classmate named Kevin has a crush on one of the Chipette triplets:
    Simon: Which one?
    Alvin: I'm not sure, but I've narrowed it down to three possibilities.