- Aliens seems to have the most in the way of funny moments. Almost all of them are provided by surprise surprise, Hudson.
Hudson: What are we supposed to use, judo? What if they haven't got any arms?!Ripley: They've got arms...
- Here's a good Hudson line.
Gorman: Hicks, meet me at the south lock. We're coming in.
Hudson: He's comin' in. I feel safer already.
- One of his best is even earlier than that.
Hudson: Is this gonna be a stand-up fight, sir, or another bughunt?
Gorman: All we know is that there's still no contact with the colony, and that a xenomorph may be involved.
Frost: Excuse me, sir, a what?
Gorman: A xenomorph.
Hicks: It's a bughunt.
Hudson: Man, this floor is freezing!
Apone: What do you want me to do, fetch your slippers for you?
Hudson: Gee, would you, sir? I'd like that.
Apone: (Apone points at his own eye with his middle finger) Look into my eye.
- After Gorman's briefing, the sergeant tells Hudson he wants to have a little "chat".
Sgt. Apone: Hudson, come here. COME HERE!
- Also speaking of Hudson on the receiving end:
- Who could forget his best one?
Hudson: That's it, man! Game over, man! Game over!
- "Yeah, right, man, Bishop should go. Good idea!"
- And from the novelization, when Gorman orders everyone to unload their weapons.
- Here's a good Hudson line.
- Apone is almost the original Sergeant Rock. He pops a cigar in his mouth even as he wakes up.
Apone: (smiles broadly) A day in the Marine Corps is like a day on the farm. Every paycheck a fortune. Every meal a banquet. Every formation a parade. I LOVE THE CORPS!
- Bishop pulling his knife trick on Hudson. The latter's expression throughout is absolutely priceless. Made even better because when Lance Henriksen told people on set what he was going to do, he failed to discuss it with Bill Paxton. Bill's look of terror is very real.
- Oddly enough one of the funniest lines goes to Burke of all people. Of course he's just doing it to be sarcastic, but still.
Hudson: What are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?!
Burke: Maybe we could build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh? Why don't we try that?
- On the dropship down, Hudson swaggering in front of Ripley. His swaggering makes his later breakdown all the better — and then he picks up again.
Hudson: We got sonic, electronic ball breakers! We got nukes, we got knives, sharp sticks...
- On the dropship, Gorman is visibly nervous, and many of the Marines are swaggering and boasting. Hicks falls asleep. The camera returns to him a couple of times just to show it.
Sgt. Apone: Somebody wake up Hicks!
- Bishop is about to crawl through a tunnel alone to the Comm Relay in order to remotely call down the spare drop ship from the Sulaco. Vasquez hands him a pistol to protect himself with. He takes it, turns it over in his hand briefly, and promptly hands it off to Ripley, evidently finding it entirely useless to him.
- Then, as they're lowering the plate they cut back onto the pipe, he reminds them to "Watch your fingers." Apparently, he takes that whole "through inaction, allow a human to come to harm" thing seriously.
- Newt provides a couple of small ones.
- When Ripley has driven the car out of the first alien attack, she asks if Newt's okay. Newt gives her the thumb's up with the most deadpan expression on her face.
- Newt has found a marine's helmet and is wearing it while Hudson is having a freak out. When Ripley reminds him how long she survived, she says "am I right?" and Newt salutes Hudson. Again her expression is hilarious.
- And this leads to another Hudson CMOF: "Why don't you put her in charge!"
- "She thought they said illegal aliens and signed up." Not that funny on its own, but definitely gets there when you learn it was put in as a reference to Jeanette Goldstein actually making that mistake when she saw the casting sheet, causing her to show up dressed as a poor Mexican immigrant surrounded by people in army fatigues. This also adds a lot of context to her response: "Fuck you, man!"
- A surprisingly funny moment in the middle of a very tense situation: When Ripley has nonverbally convinced the Queen to let her and Newt go, an egg near them starts to open. Ripley responds with a look that basically says, "Are you fucking kidding me?"
- Apone and Hicks are positively amused when Ripley shows her skill with the power loader, proving them she's more than meets the eye.
- Upon hearing about the deadliness of the xenomorph, Hudson immortaly snarks "How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?"