Funny / Alfa Legion

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     The Upper Hive 
First Sessionnote 
  • The introductions and setup from the very first episode of The Upper Hive set the game's tone pretty well.
    Voytek: Hi I'm Voytek, nobody knows me.
    Larry: Nobody loves me! No fuck off!
  • While Alfa gives the players their respective roles he decides to have an unwashed hobo and a sociopath recount Harry Potter to the viewer. It's a bout as a good idea as it sounds.
    I'll show you what you've don to my friends, I cast PTSD!
    I cast leprosy!
    I cast unborn fetus.
  • Corpsing*
    Somebody: For fuck's sake, Karl stop
    I'll show you Malfoy! I cast AIDS!
    Nurse Garrot: Lets Not Do This Again.
  • The game proper starts with the cast wondering just how they know Genestealers have infested the hive city, with Mako hanging a pretty heavy lampshade on it.
    Mako: I'm an Imperial Citizen, I dunno what the fuck that is.
    • Moments later Karl makes history with a bit of improv.
    Karl: Fuckin' they, they put up a flyer or something, look it's right here on the wall! It says-
    Failsnake: Damn Genestealers stealing our Jeans!
    Karl: It says, It says misspelled in fuckin' cut out letter from a newspaper: "FUK U WE gEnEsTEALERs My nAME Is KARMA KAsTIITARRIKAARI I cOME FROM FInLAnD"
    Voytek: Genestealers are from Finland? I KNEW IT!
  • And then on the first night, when asked it they want to put anyone on trial, Mako makes a rather unusual suggestion.
    Karl: (Immediately) I would like to watch Mako hang himself.
    Mako: (Holding back laughter) I'll hang my- I vote me.
    Karl: Remember, it was- it wasn't I who wanted to murder him. I just want to watch him die.
    • And as Mako is accusing himself he has to play both sides of the court. His accusation and rebuttal make the whole farce.
    Mako: (Accusing) Because yesterday I ate a turkey sandwich for breakfast. Who does that?
    Mako: (Rebuttal) Fuck you, ur gay!
    Turbodunker: *starts giggling uncontrollably*
    • Ultimately only Karl votes to kill Mako, causing Alfa to dump the case in the most graceful way he can.
    Alfa: K' fuck it.
  • The next morning Alfa take quite a while to announce the fatalities, causing Karl to quip
    Karl: WHAT IS THIS, FUCKING AMERICAN IDOL? JUST TELL ME ALREADY!
    Alfa: It is...
    Mako: After this commercial break!
    (The video cuts to a rapidly shaking ad for "R.A Veldt's Snake Oil Miracle Elixir" set to Running in the 90s sped up)
    Alfa: Garrot and Failsnake!
    Garrot: (Deadpan) Oh, you fucker.
    Mako: Oh god! He killed Garrot and Failsnake.
  • Later after executing Larry, Karl proposes a strategy.
    Karl: We need to suspect all the quiet ones. Who's th- Voytek are you dead? Are you DEAD VOYTEK?
    Voytek: No, I'm st-
    Karl: ARE YOU ALIVE?
    Voytek: Yeah, I'm still-
    Karl: YOU'RE A FUCKIN' GENESTEALER!
    • Hilariously, out of all the people he could've accused, he picked the only one who wasn't a Genestealer.
  • The next morning, Karl's paranoia didn't protect him.
    Alfa: I'm uh. I'm sorry to say this but uh... Karl? You were licked in the ear, and something touched your butt and then you... You suddenly died.
    (Text shows up on screen that reads "RIP KARL 1298-2015)
    Garrot: That's what you get Karl.
  • When Mako accuses Voytek for being a genestealer due to being a very quiet. We get some pretty good gems from their trial.
    Mako: He's been really quiet, and now he's just trying to think of a reason to shift blame to other people.
    Alfa: Ok, Voytek your rebuttal?
    Voytek: First of all I'm always quiet no matter what the situation is.
    Mako: You're always suspicious!
    Voytek: I am always suspicious! Thus me being suspicious is not being suspicious. *switches into Joseph Joestar's clothes* Now Mako's next line is: "I'm gay LOL."
    Mako: I'm gay LOL! Huh!?
    Alfa: (Laughs)
    Mako: Bakana!
  • This whole ordeal leaves only Voytek, Mako, White, and Turbo left alive, allowing the Genestealersnote  to rig the vote at the trial and get a clean sweep.

Second Session note 
  • Just the way ThunderPsykernote  introduces himself.
    Thunder: Hello everyone, I'm the guy who voiced and ruined your favorite talking banana and you will always refer that to me.
  • Right out the gate, Karl suspects Dr. White on the grounds that during the setup he had said that he was going to die, which Mako had done last game leading Karl to believe that White was trying to use reverse psychology on the group. He's right.
  • The trial of White proves very quickly that he's not very good at defending himself.
    Alfa: White, your rebuttal?
    Fresh: Dr. White, defend yourself you fucking chode!
  • And then during White's accusation of Karl, Karl doesn't give any defense to his case because he was distracted by building a Guillotine for use in executions. He also remains on the Guillotine for the entire rest of the game.
  • During Larry's accusation of Fresh, Larry gives his case but is interrupted by Fresh's rebuttal. Larry being Larry however.
    Larry: You have a bottle? What's in there?
    Fresh: (Sighs heavily) Arsenic. It smells like al- It tastes like almonds!
    Larry: (Loud Gasp)
    Thunder: He, He's got poison!
  • And then Fresh's golden rebuttal
    Fresh: Okay, my rebuttal is: Larry are you fucking stupid?
  • When the time comes to vote on if they should hang anyone, Failsnake votes yes on all three votes, prompting this lovely interaction.
    Dr. White: Failsnake just wants to commit murder.
    Failsnake: (Distorted) THE MURDERBONER
  • Come the next morning, Alfa reveals the casualties of the night.
    Alfa: Uh... Failsnake? It's not you, it's Voytek.
    Failsnake: (Malicious Chuckling)
    Fresh: DOUBLE SHOCKU
    Thunder: Rest in peace Voytek, his potions were too strong for us.
    Voytek: (Strangled) My potions are too strong.
  • And then comes the investigative skills of Karl
    Dr. White: Nooooo, really?
  • Right in the middle of Larry dramatically revealing himself to be the Espionistnote  in an attempt to at least take Fresh with him Karl pipes in.
    Karl: OH MY GOD, IT'S FRESH! I HAVE THE GUILLOTINE RIGHT HERE, LET'S MURDER FRESH.
  • The next morning after failing to execute Fresh, Larry expects to be the casualty. Instead...
    Larry: Bye!
    Alfa: Nostalgia!
    Larry: What? Ahhhh.
    Nostalgia: Well fuck you too.
  • During the accusing process, Thunder accuses Sierra on the grounds that Sierranote  is a Tyranid in the first place.
    Sierra: Wooooooooow. Typecasting much?
    Fresh: Thunder has a point. I mean, okay it is racist. It is very racist. But! Look at Sierra.
    Sierra: 'Ey!
    Fresh: He wants. To eat us.
  • And then there's Karl and Larry's interaction
    Karl: I say we strangle Larry, the fucking Hasselhoff loving German motherfucker.
  • Thunder's accusation brings us this.
    Thunder: He's a fuckin' Tyranid and before you accuse me of being racist, I will have you know I've had a very intimate relationship with a Tyranid I mean what?
    Alfa: (Long wheezing laugh)
    Failsnake: Such details, I did not hear that.
    Fresh: In Thunder's defense, so have I!
    • For bonus points, a picture of an anthropomorphic female Tyranid shows up near Thunder during this scene.
  • Sierra proves almost as bad at defending himself as White.
    Sierra: Thunder, you're a good friend of mine. We have been friends for almost a minute and-
    Karl: Shut up Sierra, you're a liar. Burn him! Boo!
    Larry: Wha-?
  • Ultimately the group votes to kill Sierra, resulting in this little bit.
    Fresh: Hold on! Gentlemen, this means that this is the first public lynching! Get the mariachi band!
    Bloxerbot (?): Let the Dark Angels come in!
    Sierra: On my final words I say Kristy note  enjoyed me more. With those final words, I rip my own guts out.
    • And then the group wonders what will happen to Sierra's soul given that he wasn't human. Failsnake comes up with a theory:
    Failsnake: He's going to be recycled into a Pyrovore.
    Fresh: Failsnake, that's just mean.
    Failsnake: Ah-heh-heh-heh!
  • The next day, Alfa decides to have a bit of fun announcing the dead
    Alfa: And this time, it is... Gordon Ramsay...
    "Gordon Ramsay": THESE GENESTEALERS ARE FUCKING RAW!
    Alfa: It's actually LARRY!

  • And then at the trial The group successfully votes to kill Failsnake, allowing the Genestealers note  To secure a second clean sweep.
    Alfa: You fucking. YOU FUCKING SUCK AT THIS CIVILIANS! YOU'RE DEAD! YOU LOST, THE GENESTEALERS WON!
    Voytek: You guys are fuckin' idiots! You guys are fucking idiots, welcome to Hell! You deserve it! Larry wasn't a liar!

Third Session note 
  • The mere fact that this one is called the "Actual Attempt Edition"
  • During a moment before the game begins where all the other players are shit talking each other Kiwi's personality is very quickly established.
    Fresh: Kiwi's Name is Kiwi and Kiwi just going to just take a shit in your toilet
    Thunder(?): Kiwi has Schizophrenia.
  • This session reveals that the planet all the hive dwellers live on is called Purgatory. It's literally Purgatory, and after Kiwi asks why he's there he learns that prompting this.
    Everyone: Yes.
    Alfa: Most likely.
    Kiwi: FAK.
  • The obituaries in this session are just full of dark comedy, such as the one for Karl aka the Broodlord:
    Corpse found mauled to death by presumably a shock maul. His human appearance cracked upon impact. Experts claim the human shell was made out of a thin layer of dead babies and paper mache.
  • The raw Ho Yay shared between Mako and Voytek, starting with mentions of a shared sleeping bag, and ending with Mako revealing his role as the preacher post-mortem and the fact that he protected Voytek every single night.
  • After the first night the Injector targets Karl, causing him to only be able to speak gibberish. Then Alfa gets to the deaths.
    Alfa: I can first off say that, Karl you're also dead.
    Mako: YES!
    • Gets even funnier when Karl's role is revealed. He's the Broodlord. Fresh sums it up beautifully.
    Karl: [Angry Finnish]
    Fresh: We.. We fucking. Karl got injected... By his own people. And then he fucking died.
  • Larry dies on the same night, but was an innocent civilian. His obituary is perfectly fitting for him.
    • After the trials of the day, Kiwi and Mako raise the question if they can drink Larry's grave.
    Alfa: Well, you will be infused with Larry's essence and... He'll take over your body.
    Fresh: Essence?
    Larry: *banging beer cans together* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  • When asked what the group will do with Karl's Corpse Kiwi suggests sacrificing it to the Sun. This prompts someone on the group to tell a short story about Purgatory's Grand Arch Magos creating a Space Elevator for this sole purpose. Karl's body fuses with the Elevator as it's Machine Spirit, allowing him to continue spouting gibberish for the rest of the game. The first think he does? Perform some elevator music with a Kazoo.
    • Just about everything Karl says as an elevator counts. It's all hilariously Non Sequitur
    Karl: Closing in 5, 9, 12, Dog?
  • Voytek's case against Kiwi falls apart because Kiwi is just so dense that Voytek can't tell if he's bluffing or not. He is.
    • Alfa also mistakenly asks for the votes of Kiwi, who's on trial, and Karl. Who's dead.
  • Sierra's bizarre compulsion to roll dice to make decisions, partly because of how nonsensical and random the results are, and partly because of the other group members exasperated reaction to him wasting their time with it.
  • During the vote to kill Failsnake, Mako votes no. Everyone quickly realizes how odd that is since Mako is the one who accused Failsnake. Cue the camera zooming in as "Killing in the name of" plays.
  • Aside from Mako dying the next day, Sierra's death keeps up his bizarre habit.
    Sierra: Roll 2d6, and see how much blood.. I.. kind of...
  • Failsnake accuses Nostalgia of being a Genestealer because He's the Espionist. But when prompted it turns out that he hasn't spied on her at all, making his accusation a stab in the dark. His blunder causes Fresh to Face Fault and Mako's ghost to show up and laugh at him.
  • Voytek's reason for suspecting Thunder? He wasn't confused by the math regarding the remaining Genestealers.
  • During Thunder's appeal he states that he had everything thought out before his mother came into his room and gave him food. The other players react to this marvelously.
    "Thunder's Mom": note  *As "God Save The Queen" blares* HELLO THUNDERPSYKER, I GOT FISH AND CHIPS! GONNA SHOVE 'EM DOWN YER GOB!
  • The Reveal of just how night works on Purgatory. A giant Ratling expands across the sky.
    Nostalgia: Jesus.
    • In the subsequent morning lampshades the weirdness of this.
    Alfa: The Ratling swiftly proceeds onwards to the next planetto bring night-
    Fresh: Why haven't we taken- Why haven't we called a Space Marine Chapter to take care of that? It seem's like an Issue.
  • The next morning Both Kiwi and Nostalgia are dead. Their obituaries are hilarious, but Kiwi's is the most telling in it's simplicity.
    Beep Beep Kiwi is a murderer.
    • The Reveal that Kiwi was the Injector, meaning that Injecting Karl was his plan.
  • Fresh's Kill list shows that the Genestealers lost purely because of "Why not?" Sierra's death was Fresh's fault as well because Fresh mistook his actual stupidity for Obfuscating Stupidity
    • Fresh's way of revealing it is just as hilarious.
    Fresh: I killed Sierra,because-
    Sierra: YOU DARE!?!
    Fresh: Yeah i killed Sierra because i thought that thing with the dice was him playing stupid, but i kinda forgot that no, Sierra really is that goddamn stupid.

Fourth Session note 

  • Alfa starts off the episode mocking Youtube's automatic captioning system's habit of Mondegreen.
    Alfa: Welcome to another session of hide ya boy.
  • This session is different from the others because this time the humans are retaliating against the Tyranids after finally winning a game, and thus every player is a Tyranid. This leads to this moment from the introductions.
    Sierra: I am gonna be even less perceptive now.
    • The other introduction quotes are hilarious too.
    Dr. White: I'm a horrible human being!
    Voytek: I don't have a quip prepared.
    Failsnake: *sing-song* Center of attentiooooooon!
    Zegram: I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.
  • Out of all the introductions Thunder's stands out as particularly hilarious.
    Karl: FUCK OFF THUNDER I HOPE YOU DIE IN A VOLCANO YOU CUNT. SHOVE A COCK AND BALL UP YOUR ASS.
    Larry: *Rising up slowly* Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
    Zegram: Mustard bottle lookin' piece of shit!
    Thunder: I'll just let everyone else talk for me.
  • When asked about his summer during the set up Karl has some choice words.
    Karl: My summer was- I worked in a factory sweating my ass off having to deal with a bunch of old ladies I want to fucking mutilate. That's my fucking summer you CUNT!
  • And in response to Karl and Turbo starting to argue-
    Zegram: Will you two Get a room? Just fuck already! SEND ME PICTURES!
    Karl: Alright.
  • Alfa reveals the classes for the game, including the Assassin version of the Broodlord... The Assmaster. The party immediately starts snickering about it.
    • The description of the Third-Party role, the Eldar Ranger, is "Professional Asshole."
  • Karl's improv for how the Genestealers know that there are assassins among them.
    Karl: HELLO MY NAME IS ARFAN NYAANGO I AM A FUKKIN ASSASSIN FROM ICELAND
    Larry: *Starts cracking up*
    Dr. White: Fuckin' Iceland.
  • Karl continues to be Refuge in Audacity personified. Please keep in mind that Karl is in character as a horrible genestealer and is also VERY drunk.
    Karl: Hey did you see the latest uhh Genefield show today? They say: "Heeey what's the deal with babies? You can kill them but you can also fuck them!" *starts scatting the Seinfeld theme aggressively*
    Everyone else: *starts chuckling and laughing uncomfortably*
    Dr. White: Jerry!
    Alfa: That's horrible.
    Voytek: I'm sick of these humans Jerry! *walking away from his mic* I'm sick of 'em! *returns to his mic* Can't deal with it!
  • After the first night it's revealed that the victim of the Injector was White, who's stuck speaking Extreme Cockney for the whole day
    Dr. White: You fookin' WOT?
    • It's also revealed that the Assassins murdered Karl. But as he was protected by the Broodlord Karl returns to life, complete with the Amazing Freaking Grace bagpipes reversing.
  • Karl takes time to establish that it's impossible for him to be an assassin since the assassins tried to kill him. Zegram immediately says they should kill Karl.
    Karl: *while laughing* You piece of shit!
    • And as they're debating who would want to kill Karl, Alfa stops the game dead in it's tracks because Karl accidentally invited Joel into the skype call.
    Alfa: Holy shit.
    Dr. White: Guys.
    Alfa: Ohhh nooo!
    • And then after the situation is explained Joel leaves with something that the players don't stop ribbing Karl with.
    Joel: okay please don't invite me again
    • Cue Sad Romance and Karl's face rapidly flashing on screen.
    Voytek: Wait, was that actually Joel from Vinesauce?
    (Just about everyone answers in the affirmative)
    Voytek: WAIT, WHAT?
  • As court begins, Alfa asks Zegram why he suspects Karl.
    Zegram: I didn't, I was. I was joking.
    Alfa: If you imagine that you weren't joking, what would your argument be for killing Karl?
    Zegram: He's Karl?
    Larry: That's a good point.
    • Alfa's teasing of Zegram continues during Karl's voting.
    Alfa: Uhhh, Zegram?
    Zegram: Yes? I mean NO.
    Zegram: I said no, fuck you.
  • During the vote to kill Failsnake, we get to see firsthand how confusing the effects of the Injector can be.
    Dr. White: Uh... Go on innit.
    (The counter ticks up to "?" with a distorted sound)
    • The whole judgement ends up split down the middle and hinges on finding out what Dr. White's vote even meant. Thankfully they have a fellow Brit there.
    Thunder: I met a coven this morning which (unintelligible) right? And I said to him "No more (unintelligible) around here" (unintelligible) yeh?
    Dr. White: Ah! I am the fluffy turtle!
    Alfa: What did he say Thunder?
    Thunder: He said fucking kill me.
    • By Alfa's suggestion, the group say "fuck it." and leave Failsnake alive. The next morning, the injection wears off and White is allowed to voice his opinion on the matter.
    Dr. White: Now that I can speak again... With my delicious voice I wanna kindly tell you, Thunder you're the worst fucking translator. I was saying "Kill him!"
  • It turns out Turbodunker was injected this time, causing him to speak in his native Spanish note  Then comes the deaths.
    Alfa: (Sighs heavily) First of all, uh... fucking... Sierra's dead.
    (Cut to Sierra's dead body naked inside a giant blow up d6.
    Alfa: There is one more death though.
    Turbo: La Muerte!
    Alfa: Yeah Turbo. Yeah.
    Larry: That's right, La Muerte!
    Alfa: Turbo, you're also dead.
    Thunder: Why does this always happen?
    Dr. White: IT KEEPS HAPPENING!
  • Karl's brand of investigation strikes again. This time disguised as simple conversation. note 
    Karl: Connor, if you were an assassin, uh, who would you kill?
    Thunder: Hypothetically?
    Karl: Yeah.
    Dr. White: Himself for being a traitorous little shit!
    Thunder: I'd probably want to kill someone unpredictable, I'd probably kill someone quiet li-
    • During the same conversation, Larry accuses Zegram of going off topic to shift suspicion away from himself. Zegram's defense spawns some hilarious awkwardness.
    Zegram: I don't know what to fucking say! I don't know any of you people except Thunder, Alfa and kind of White!
    Larry: That makes it easier for you to kill everyone!
    Failsnake: Yeah, you should know about me I'm your fucking writer!
    • And then during White's accusation of Larry, Alfa picks his moment to tease Karl again.
    Alfa: "okay please don't invite me again".
    (Sad Romance starts up again as a rain filter appears on the screen.)
    Zegram: We have angered him.
    Voytek: Is Joel, Is Joel going to make it into the video?
    Alfa: Yeah, it has to happen now, sorry. It'll be totally unwarranted, and he'll find it and he'll be like "can you please remove this?"
  • When Karl proves to not really have a case to make against Thunder, Zegram steps up to the plate:
    Alfa: Well fuck it them, Zegram! Why do you suspect Thunder?
    Zegram: 'Cuz he was the first motherfucker to suggest we kill somebody today.
  • When the time comes to vote, the motion to kill Thunder goes through. And it turns out to be the game winner.
    Thunder: But the case was perfect! They gave up! They lost! No!
    Alfa: Okay, so how do you want to kill Thunder?
    (As the rest of the Genestealers debate how to kill Thunder he ascends to the afterlife the lyrics of My heart will go on)
    Failsnake: Can I beat him up with his own leg while screaming "Woolay"? note 
  • The Reveal that Thunder was the Assmaster.
    Alfa: Thunder. Thunder. Thunder was THE ASSMASTEEEEER!
    Thunder's Death Certificate: Ascended into the heavens by the grace of the Emperor. His head hit several space rocks on the way there, resulting in serious brain trauma.
    • Everyone is shocked to hear that due to Thunder's death leading to celebrations and the role reveals. Near the end things start to get really good.
    Alfa: Failsnake was the Adrenal Genestealer.
    Failsnake: I am the champion! I am the strongest! Check my pecs!
    Alfa: Sierra was the...
    Sierra: The Broodlord.
    Alfa: Broodlord. Yeh.
    Sierra: I kept you safe.
    Larry: He was the preacher, basically?
    Alfa: He was the preacher. He the one successful preacher ever. And uh Zegram was just, nobody actually. He got the double vote, but he never used it.
    Zegram: I was gonna use it on Thunder if, like, nobody voted to kill him.
    Thunder: Zegram, Zegram! I was a genestealer right, but I didn't want to kill you cause you were the new guy, right? I was giving you a fucking chance to be in the video, and this is how you repay me!?!
    Alfa: He's guilt- He's guilt tripping you!
    Zegram: I... Finally killed that Yellow Bastard!
    • Also from the role reveals comes Karl's last Never Live It Down moment in the video, which leads to him asking everyone to verbally flagellate him for his blunder before all apologizing to Joel.
    Alfa: Thunder was the Assmaster Assassin, Karl...
    Karl: I, my friends... Don't shit your pants now, like I will, but me and my tumor Warroth, we were the ESPIONIST!
    Alfa: (Taking all the thunder out of Karl's moment) okay please don't invite me again.
    • The last person to have their role revealed was Turbo. The Injector.
    Voytek: So he injected himself.
    Turbo: Damn it. It was a perfect distraction, no one would've expected! Whoooo was the guy with the Murderboner? Who?
    Voytek: It was Failsnake
    Turbo: Damn it you French Fuck!
    Alfa: Voytek waaas...
    Voytek: (Tossing off his Genestealer disguise to reveal he's a Wraithguard.) I was the Eldar Spy bitches! I'm OUT! I hijack the Ratling and fly into space!
    Turbo: You know what that means, the next session is going to be Eldars.
  • The last words of the video before Karl terminates the recording.
    ???: (Strenuous groaning)
    Karl: 1, 2 3, Good bye!

     Alfabusa gets drafted into World War 1 and plays Verdun 
Players: note 
  • The comedy and tone of this whole video is already established by how they decide to name their squad:
    Fresh: Let's try the squad name of: ThunderPsyker's Cunt Runabout...
    Karl: I- I don't think you can add a swear word...
    Fresh: There we go- THERE WE GO!!!
    REGISTERED SQUAD NAME:
    THUNDERPSYKER'S B Oi PUSSAY runabout
    Karl: Yeah, i can see that...
    • The PUSSAY is pronounced "PUUUSSSAYYY!!!".
  • For some reason ThunderPsyker is relegated to just being a spectator and occasional commentator of the squad's antic, He's also been dubbed as the magical Sky Commissar(For some reason if you leave the command range or try to get away from the group you are almost immediately executed).
  • Both Fresh and Karl begin to adopt Yorkshire Accents, and saying that it's Goddamn hilarious doesn't even do it justice...
  • Alfabusa, the Glorious Chapter Master of Alfa Legion, being reduced to being the Designated Buttmonkey of the Group.
  • Later on, Super Anchors note  joins the group and is immediately designated as the Token American.
    Alfa: Hey, we're four people now...
    Karl: Oh my god, we've got an american on our team!
    • His intro is quite hilarious due to the fact that the screenshot that Alfa uses to highlight him is just a picture of his backside, while the American National Anthem Plays in the Background, which is all immediately and abruptly cut off by his Trademark "No."
    • Hell, even his icon is just a picture of his character's back!
  • "Do Black People Exist Yet?" - Alfabusa 1914
  • During one of the many times Fresh Dies.
    {Fresh Dies While Dramatic Music Plays)
    Fresh: *!!! In Slow-motion!!!* Take up positions-
    Alfa: No!
    (As the nearby enemy controlled trench is bombarded.) Karl: There we go boys!
    Alfa: Did you notice that the Corporal kinda died?
    !!!(Music Abruptly Stops)!!! Karl: Well, don't fucking worry about it, I'm your fucking new Corporal now.
    Alfa: Oh no.
    Karl: I don't even know where the fuck, I am from...
    Alfa: But you don't even have a revolver...
    Anchors: He has a machine gun that's way better.
    Karl: You wanna fucking- *Goes Near Alfa* You wanna speak to my fucking revolver boy!?
    Alfa: (meekly) NO!
    Karl: Now get in fucking line, before I fucking spank ya!
  • After they lose the match, Fresh pretty much summarizes his performance throughout the match.
    Fresh: I was dead for like, half the waves because i refused to retreat...
    Karl: I was busy reloading my pizza pan thank you very much...
  • After getting into a new map, Anchors immediately has something to say about it.
    Anchors: Oh boy, a map that has grass. Fuck my life...
  • While trying their best to survive a wave (Fresh and Super Anchors are Dead) Karl creates this hilarious gem.
  • While we don't get to see it. Fresh states something that might make the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy proud.
    Fresh: This motherfucker's got a machine gun,and he missed me with every shot...
  • Anchors reaction to the Squad's Name. note 
    Karl: Better get out there lads, ThunderPsyker's BOi PUSSAY runabout is-
    Anchors: "ThunderPsyker's BOi PUSSAY runabout",I'm so sorry what?
    Fresh: This squad is called ThunderPsyker's B Oi PUSSAY runabout!
    ThunderPsyker: It was supposed to be called Pussywagon but we couldn't get that in because it censors it
    Fresh:Pussywagon wasn't allowed in the army so we had to call it the PUSSAY.
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