Funny / A Series of Unfortunate Events

The Books

  • Mr. Poe going on a curse-filled tangent upon seeing the Incredibly Deadly Viper playing with Sunny in The Reptile Room.
  • Count Olaf in The Vile Village: "It's cool... to obey the law."
    • "It's not cool to accuse me of lying."
      • Really, every single line delivered by Olaf while he's in disguise. Especially if you listen to Tim Curry's audiobook reading of it.
  • Also in "The Vile Village": "We'll burn you at the stake as soon as this crow has received proper medical attention."
  • In The Hostile Hospital, the narrator tells us about his friend, a lepidopterist. He was running away from these guys and had to eat his butterflies so the other insects in bug prison wouldn't beat them up. Then once he got out of jail, he burped them back up.
  • Count Olaf's and Esme's evil laughs.
  • Any of the bizarre tangents the Lemony Narrator goes off on - notable are "the bears bear hard hard yarn yarns" and "the Baudelaires' journey up the Vertical Flame Diversion was so dark and treacherous that it is not enough to write 'the Baudelaires' journey up the Vertical Flame Diversion was so dark and treacherous that it is not enough to write 'the Baudelaires' journey up the Vertical Flame Diversion was so dark and treacherous that it is not enough to write 'the Baudelaires' journey up the Vertical Flame Diversion was so dark and treacherous that it is not enough to write My dear sister... "
    • Also Snicket's "in the dark" tangent in Book Six that goes on for several pages. It's two entirely black pages... with Violet's hand sticking out of the bottom and a small pit of light with Esme in it at the top.
    • An unrelated "in the dark" tangent in Book the Thirteenth explores the literal and metaphorical meanings of the phrase "in the dark" using every possible combination of being in the dark and being not in the dark, such as being "in the dark while not in the dark", "not in the dark about being in the dark", "in the dark in the dark about being in the dark in the dark" . . . Using a mysterious anecdote involving a buried cabinet and a man being followed by ballerinas.
    • Snicket's intentionally tedious descriptions of the Water Cycle in book 11.
    • "The book was long, and difficult to read, and Klaus became more and more tired as the night went on. Occasionally his eyes would close. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over. He found himself reading the same sentence over and over.
    • "We all know, of course, that we should never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever..." [repeat until it fills up the entire page and creates a Wall of Text] "...fiddle around with electric devices. Never."
      • "Unless you happen to be Violet Baudelaire."
  • "People will often say things will feel better in the morning, but of course that's rarely the case. My driver once told me things would feel better in the morning, but when morning came we were still on a deserted island surrounded by man-eating crocodiles, and neither of us felt any better."
  • All of Mr. Remora's stories.
  • One offhand mention in The Slippery Slope, where two of Olaf's henchmen burn down the V.F.D. headquarters... they describe burning down the pool as well, with one of them adding, "And that wasn't easy to do!"
  • The villagers about Olaf and Esme, right after their evil plot has been revealed: "I heard they're dating!"
  • Thinking of all the effort Count Olaf put into Stefano only to have it be instantly seen through.
  • When Klaus is reading the large book of laws in the Village of Fowl Devotees, he comes across a very contradictory pair of rules: "'Rule #19 clearly states...that the only pens that are acceptable within the city limits are ones made from the feathers of crows. And yet Rule #39 clearly states that it is illegal to make anything out of crow feathers.'"
  • In The Austere Academy, Snicket describes Nero's violin recital as like listening to a cat being viciously beaten.
  • In The Grim Grotto: "Carmelita... You're a Marshmallow."
  • In The Hostile Hospital, the mere fact that both the Hook-Handed Man and the Bald Man with the Long Nose are completely and utterly taken in by the disguises worn by Klaus and Sunny, and mistake them for the White-Faced Ladies.
  • Olaf visibly boiling over with rage every time Aunt Josephine corrects his grammar.
  • In The Austere Academy, the Baudelaires try to play along with Olaf's disguise in order to expose him, causing Vice Principal Nero to burst into fits of laughter. And he still punishes the Baudelaires for being in the principal's office by taking away their silverware privileges, despite being entertained by their performance.
  • Vice Principal Nero mocking the Baudelaire's voices, including Sunny's.
  • When Violet and Klaus are taking their exams, Vice Principal Nero insists on mocking every one of their answers despite it becoming increasingly obvious that they are getting every one of them right.
  • The Hook-handed Man's idea of a good dream: "I was having a lovely dream about sneezing without covering my nose and mouth, and giving everybody germs."
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Meta

  • In a recap of the last 12 books, the narrator spends an absurdly long amount of time on describing the fifth book that he has to rush through the next seven books in order to make it under the 120 second limit.
    • The description of the twelfth book: "...and dressed as monkeys, or perhaps concierges."
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