Funny / A Knight's Tale

  • Basically any time Chaucer opens his mouth.
    • Especially when he mocks Wat. Example:
      Wat: I just can't understand women.
      Chaucer: Yes, but they certainly understand us. [Pause] Well, maybe not you.
    • Even in his intro, as Wat is delving into angrish, he's just sitting there looking at him with a rather bemused expression.
    • When he asks William why he's throwing the match and William explains, he walks off with a resigned "I had rather he was blind."
    • When he tries to impress his new friends by telling them about his book, which none of them have even heard of, let alone read:
      Chaucer: Very well, it was allegorical.
  • The scene in the tavern betting against the French. Roland, the voice of reason, refuses to take the risk until one of the Frenchmen declares that among the reasons an Englishman can't win the tournament is that the Pope is French — at which point Roland fires back that the Pope may be French, but Jesus was English, and the bet is on.
  • In an example of crossing the line twice, during Will's training with a lance he ends up toppling into a river wearing a breast plate... which his sidekicks find hilarious.
    Roland (chuckling): He'll be up any second now.
    Roland (now looking a little bit worried): ...Any second now?
    [The river bubbles ominously with no Will in sight. Roland and Wat get matching Oh Crap! expressions.]
  • Chaucer teaching Will how to dance, with Wat as his dance partner.
    Chaucer: And one and two and three and four and Wat doesn't lead, he follows like a girl.
    [Gilligan Cut]
    Chaucer: [with two bits of fabric stuffed up his bleeding nose} And one and two and twirly-twirly-twirl, you can hit me all day 'cause you punch like a...what?
    Roland: A girl!
    • The best part is that right after Chaucer sings the first line, there's a beat as Wat just stands there, trying to get a grip on his anger. He then pulls back his fist and it cuts to Chaucer with the cloth up his bleeding nose.
  • Wat going for Adhemar and Chaucer's reaction.
    "Well done, my lord! Noble victory!"
    • And before that, he calmly shoved Wat over to keep him from fighting Adhemar, cutting Wat off mid-rant.
      • Both to keep them all from getting into a huge amount of trouble, and curbing Wat's temper so he could make sure Will wasn't too badly injured.
  • "It's called a lance. Hellooo?"
  • William decides he needs to write Jocelyn a letter to make up for his rather churlish behaviour earlier. Before it delves into Heartwarming, both Will and his comrade's attempts are rather amusing:
    Will: 'Dear Jocelyn' -no, 'My Dearest Jocelyn.
    Chaucer: *smiles* Better. *carries on transcribing it*
    Will: 'I miss you'.
    Chaucer: *hisses through his teeth*
    Will: Wait, hold. ...Was that wrong?
    Chaucer: Well, uh, it's up to you, really. It's your funeral-I mean letter.
    Wat: Say something about her breasts.
    Roland: Yeah, you miss her breasts.
    Will: Her breasts? *looks at Chaucer for confirmation*
    Chaucer: Yes, uh, you could. But I would tend to look above her breasts, William.
    Kate: The moon, at least. Her breasts were not that impressive.

  • Wat delivering Jocelyn's gift to Will.
  • When Jocelyn asks Will what he'll wear to banquet that evening.
    Will: Nothing.
    Jocelyn: Then we shall create a sensation, for I shall I dress to match.
    • A few other Deadpan Snarker lines from Jocelyn are funny too, like her lamenting of her being So Beautiful, It's a Curse.
      Bishop: Does this not shock you, ladies!
      Jocelyn: Sir, I only laugh, just to keep from weeping.
      Bishop: Beauty is such a curse. Pray your years come swiftly, pray your beauty fades, so you may better serve God.
      Jocelyn: I do. I pray for it all the time. Why, God, did you curse me with this face?
    • And the priest offering his holy ring for Jocelyn to kiss...
      Jocelyn: Oh that is lovely.
    • This scene becomes even funnier in hindsight since the Bishop was played by Roger Ashton-Griffith, who plays him as every bit the self important oaf that his later, most famous role, Mace Tyrell would be known as.
  • In a meta kind of way during the discussion of possible banner designs, hearing Roland suggest sticking with Sir Ector's stag, then agreeing with Wat's suggestion of a lion.
  • The deleted scene where the group unexpectedly meets Chaucer's wife. They run into him walking around naked at night, and immediately assume he gambled away his clothes again. He then has his wife crawl out of bed, and Wat begins to charge at him. His wife then introduces herself and cheerfully guesses who each of Chaucer's friends are. Keep in mind that this entire time, Chaucer and his wife are butt-naked, causing Kate to cover Wat's eyes. And as everyone leaves to give the couple some privacy, Wat gives this line:
    Wat: [apologetically, to Mrs. Chaucer] I thought you was a prostitute!
    Chaucer: Get out!
  • After getting his ass kicked due to trying to prove his love for Jocelyn, William learns from her maid that she now wants him to win, leading to this exchange.
    Chaucer: There she is, the embodiment of love, your Venus!
    William: And how I hate her.
    • After Will wins the tournament, Jocelyn goes to see him at night. When she realizes just how hurt he was from the lance blows, she looks horrified and tells him that it's all her fault. Will basically gives a blunt, "Yeah, it is". It's doubly funny since it comes in the middle of what's an otherwise courtly love romance scene.
  • Adhemar's herald attempting to copy Chaucer's flamboyant style of introducing his lord, and the boys screwing with him by shining a mirror in his eyes to distract him while he's speaking:
    Germaine: My Lord, the Count Adhemar, Son of Phillip DeVitry, son of of the Free Companies, defender...of his enormous manhood, a shining example of chivalry and champagne.
  • When William suggests they enter more Jousting games. The speech seems epic and Wat and Roland seem to agree, but when Will drops his guard they both attack him. Wat going as far as biting Will's fingers both out of hunger and trying to get the silver coins out of his hands.
    Wat: Do you see how hungry I am?!
  • How William convinces Kate to fix his broken armor.
    William: It's just as well, they told me I was daft for even asking.
    Kate: Who?
    William: The other armourers.
    Kate: Did they say I couldn't do it because I'm a woman?