At first, one wonders why London's private submarine would have torpedo tubes. When one considers that the controls are all in Russian, and the former Soviet republics are notorious for selling off surplus military hardware, one realizes it's most likely an old Soviet diesel sub.
London's flanderization from slightly stupid to too dumb to live can be explained in the episode London's Apprentice. London is mentioned to have once worn a solid golid bikini. This bikini sank and we are given the following exchange it can be taken by this exchange that London stopped breathing while wearing this bikini causing oxygen to be cut off from the brain. After 4 minutes or so this could lead to brain damage which could explain her flanderization into a complete ditz from a slightly stupid girl in the original series.
Moseby: Well, who was the first to wear a solid gold bikini? London: Me. I sank like a rock, but I met lots of cute lifeguards... and doctors, and briefly... Elvis.
Except the episode "Smarticle Particles" in The Suite Life On Deck reveals that she was making herself more stupid due to her growing self doubt and self image issues. When Bailey gives her what she thinks is a chemical to increase brain power she becomes a genius. When they tell her, she becomes a ditz again. Bailey concludes it's her confidence and self image to blame.
Why did Bailey get into Yale when Cody didn't? She's from a low income family which gives a better story of overcoming adversity.
The Martins were probably living in poverty for some time before the series began, though. It's been mentioned that they had lived in their minivan for at some point, and Cody's first reaction to being woken suddenly in the middle of the night was to ask if they were moving again. It's safe to assume that the whole premise of the original series of them living in the hotel was because they literally could not afford to stay anywhere else.
While they had been poor in the past, "I used to be super poor but then my mom got a cushy job that allowed us to run wild in a fancy hotel for years" doesn't really have the same ring to it when it comes to an essay.
Alternatively, a much more sound reason that is common in real life may be due to the fact that Cody was still a delinquent, and that this would have to be recorded somewhere. He may have the brains, but Yale was likely turned off by his misadventures with his brother over the years, deconstructing the show in a way.
At first, London's ditzy comment about being a missing person in one episode seems in character. But, at the episode's ending, we learn that she is the missing person, Richard Gold.
The Suite Life on Deck: in the 'fairytales' episode, where each of the Acts is a classic fairy tale, retold with the characters from the show in the places of the characters in the fairy tale. Pretty standard stuff for a DisneySitcom. Each of the stories uses the Framing Device of it being one of the character's dream. Also standard. The strange part? London's dream, which is a retelling of "Snow White", has London herself as the evil queen, with Bailey as Snow. It ends with the Queen eating her own poison apple and collapsing in the woods. So, London, a.k.a. vapid personified, has a dream in which she is the villain, and the story ends with her dying alone? Um, wow. Could this possibly mean that she knows how shallow she really is — as vain as an Evil Queen who would murder someone for being prettier than she is — and possibly even resents that part of her personality so much that her death is literally referred to in her own dream as being a Happy Ending? In other words, London, at some subconscious level, hates herself and wants to die? Probably even without consciously realizing it? Talk about dark for Disney... true, it might have been entirely unintentional on the part of the writers, but it brings up certain questions, that's for sure.
This is a mix of Fridge Brilliance and Fridge Horror: In the fashion show episode, London started developing a distorted body image, starving herself and overexercising. People with eating disorders tend to have suicidal thoughts.
In the episode "The Suite Life Goes Hollywood Part 1" of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, the viewer sees the television writers talking to Zack and Cody about their Zany Schemes. We hear one taken out of context, about a monkey that's still in the hotel vents... given some more thought, if that poor monkey is still in the vents, it could be starving or left to perish. On top of that, any guests hearing its anguished cries from the vent might be pretty frightened.
In one episode, London comes via helicopter to rescue Maddie from a Summer camp. The helicopter crashes offscreen when she's in a cabin. Either everyone ignores the pilot, or London was flying the helicopter herself and left it idling outside the camp.
Its a toss up as to whether the idea of an ignored dead pilot or that of London flying is more disturbing.
It can be taken as either Ilsa being an extreme perfectionist and downright mean that her Establishing Character Moment is making several petty criticisms of Moseby...then again since Moseby is black it might also be her being racist.