Foot In Your Ass: That '70s Show

A Just for Fun page reserved for all the creative ways Red Foreman threatens to put his foot up someone's ass. And believe us, he's surprisingly creative in this regard.

  • "You morons just hung vacancy signs on your asses, and my foot's looking for a room!"
  • "You drilled a hole in my floor; my foot is about to drill a hole in your ass."
  • "How would you like your keen eye to watch my sure foot kick your smart ass."
  • "May I suggest the footing of your ass?"
  • "You're lucky this table is between my foot and your ass."
  • "If it isn't my son the vandal. You know I oughta vandalize your ass with my foot."
  • "You have got to be the laziest non-Communist I've ever met, and you are about to read a book that my foot wrote: it's called On the Road to In Your Ass."
  • "If I were a younger, more flexible man, I'd shove my foot up my own ass."
  • "I'll be watching the news, and if anything is vandalized, or explodes, or catches on fire, X is gonna equal me kicking your ass."
  • "You better shut up, or I'll launch a nuclear foot to the city of your ass."
  • This exchange:
    Eric: Hey, leggo my Eggo!
    Red: Hey, leggo my foot in your ass!
  • "Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs put their foot up your ass!"
  • "I wish I had! 2000 feet! So I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!"
  • "Get under there or you're gonna get a spider the size of my foot in your ass!"
  • "I can name 5 toes that are going to be in your ass!"
  • "How'd you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass?"
  • "How bout I drive my foot into this thing called your ass?"
  • "You know we could call in a specialist to find my foot in your ass."
  • Red interjecting something into Kitty's methods of getting help for Eric:
    Kitty: We can help get you clean. There's counseling, hospitalization...
    Red: My foot kicking your ass.
  • Sometimes, Eric gets the jump on Red:
    Red: Bend your knees and lift with your legs, or else I'm going to—
    Eric: Kick my ass, put your foot in my ass, make my ass a hat... Yeah, yeah, yeah...
  • "I have a prank, too: one where my foot doesn't plow through your ass. Let's hope it doesn't go horribly! HORRIBLY! WRONG!
  • The next-to-last "foot in ass" of the decade:
    Kelso: Mr. Forman, can I light this off in your house?
    Red: Sure, and then I'll light my foot off in your ass.
  • The actual last "foot in ass" of the decade? "You know what else is hot? My foot when it's in your ass." Said to Kelso after he calls Kitty a hot mom.