Film: Twins

Twins is a 1988 comedy starring Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger as twins.

Yes, that Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Julius and Vincent Benedict are fraternal twins; the results of a secret experiment carried out at a genetics laboratory to produce the perfect child, using sperm donated by six different fathers. The mother was told that the children died at birth, while the children were informed once old enough that their mother died in childbirth. The program was a success but was shut down, due to one twin inheriting the "desirable traits", and the other being the "genetic trash": Julius is strong, handsome, kind and intelligent, while Vincent is, well, Danny DeVito.

The two meet when they're both 35 and Julius bails Vincent out of jail. Vincent doesn't warm up to Julius right away, but he soon does.

Vincent steals a car that happens to have a secret prototype fuel injector worth five million dollars in the trunk. He is going to drive to Houston to sell it for money he owes to loan sharks, but Julius finds out that their mother is really alive and they might be able to find her, and the drive to Houston soon turns into a road trip with Vincent, Julius, Vincent's girlfriend Linda and Linda's sister Marnie. They are pursued by Webster, the criminal responsible for transporting the fuel injector. Hilarity Ensues.

News broke in Summer 2013 that a sequel, called.. What else, Triplets, is apparently going into production soon with Eddie Murphy as the third brother. That sound you can hear is the entire world doing a collective "What?".

This film provides examples of:

  • Actor Allusion - Julius's line: "If you're lying, I'll be back."
  • Adorkable - Julius
  • Babies Ever After - At the end, lo and behold, the twins have married the twins and have each had...twins.
  • Bedroom Adultery Scene - Vincent's introductory scene.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Julius
  • Big Guy, Little Guy: And it's rather hard to get them mixed up.
  • Blatant Lies: Dr. Mitchell Traven denied any knowledge of the program. This pissed Julius off.
    "I don't know who you are! And I don't know what you're talking about!"
  • Car Skiing: Julius does one of these completely by accident his first time driving a car.
    Julius: Maybe I can teach you that sometime.
    Vincent: Let me give you a little advice: here in America, nobody likes a smartass.
  • Conscience Makes You Go Back: Julius makes Vincent grow a conscience, which irritates Vincent to no end.
    Julius: Why did you come back?
    Vincent: Why? I'll tell you why, it's because I have a disease called a conscience.
    Julius: No one said doing the right thing was easy.
    Vincent: "No one said doing the right thing was easy."
  • The Cynic - Vincent has had ONE too many disappointments in his life to believe in concepts like love, kindness and hope.
  • Double In-Law Marriage: The end has the twins marrying sisters.
  • Dr. Jerk: Dr. Mitchell Traven at best, bordering on Morally Ambiguous Doctorate. It's hard to justify breaking up a family the way he did, no matter what his reasons for it.
  • Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Vincent, at least when he finds out he was lied too when told he was a Son of a Whore. Of course, by the time he and his true mother meet, he's really not all-too "bad" anymore.
  • Genius Bruiser: Julius
  • Gentle Giant - Keep in mind that this role was VERY Playing Against Type for Arnold at first.
  • Hot for Teacher: Vincent somehow managed to seduce one of the nuns at the orphanage where he grew up. Got them both kicked out.
  • Informed Ability - Some of Julius' abilities, like his superior skill at math.
  • In the Blood - Taken literally as Vincent is made up of every undesirable gene they didn't want in Julius.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold - Vincent.
  • Jerkass - Mitchell Traven. He treats Vincent like crap, because his unexpected birth was the reason the program was shut down. Also because of it, he told Mary Ann, their birth mother, that her (only) child died at birth.
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: Vincent
  • Loan Shark - Vincent is hounded by the family of loan sharks almost every other scene. Played for laughs, as they are continuously injured and quite non-threatening.
  • Mama Bear: "You stole my family, you son of a BITCH!!"
  • Man Child: Julius has a lot of child-like innocence due to spending his whole life on an island.
  • Missing Mom
  • Mistaken Identity: When they first meet, Vincent thinks Julius is a debt collector working for the Klane brothers.
  • Nice Guy - Julius.
  • Noble Demon: Beetroot honors the deal he made with Vincent, even though he realizes by then that that Vincent obviously got ahold of it by accident, and probably doesn't even "know what the hell this thing is"; after explaining what it is, he leaves the promised payment and leaves with the goods. Unfortunately for Beetroot and his assistant, Webster isn't noble at all, gunning them down in cold blood just before Julius arrives, leading to the climax.
  • Pet the Dog: Or cat in this case, as Vincent - despite being a consistent jerk - is very kind and loving towards his pet cat (ironically named Julius).
  • Polar Opposite Twins - Duh.
  • Separated at Birth - Natch. All because of Dr. Traven.
  • Something Else Also Rises: When Marnie falls asleep on Julius, it causes his bicep to bulge to the point where it rips his shirt.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass - Of course Vincent was kind of a jerkass his whole life, but became a bigger jerkass after he was told their mother died and took it out on Linda and Julius.
    • He was also told that he wasn't planned and was the made out of everything they didn't want in Julius. That certainly didn't do much for his mood.
  • Twin Telepathy: Naturally. The Twins are even in constant Synchronization, much to Vincent's initial annoyance.
  • We Named the Monkey Jack: Vincent named his beloved cat Julius, but long before finding out about his brother. It qualifies, though, in that it is another example of the Twins being on the same wavelength, even if they were unaware of it.
  • Wide-Eyed Idealist: Julius.
  • Wins By Doing Absolutely Nothing: Near the beginning, a motorcycle-riding thief tries to steal Julius's suitcase. Juliusis so strong that he is able to hold onto the suitcase without even noticing that the man is trying to steal it, and the thief falls off the motorcycle on his back. Even after the attempted theft, Julius doesn't realize what the man had been trying to do and unironically tries to give him medical assistance.