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Film: Ti MER

”Take the guesswork out of love.”
TiMER product advertisement

TiMER takes place in an alternate history version of the United States in which, at some point in the nineties, the TiMER—an incredibly accurate device that counts down to the day the wearer will meet his or her destined mate—was invented, changing the way people thought and acted about romance and relationships. The story follows Oona, an unfortunate woman whose TiMER remains blank, indicating that her “one” has yet to even get a TiMER, and her solution to this has been (unsuccessfully) dating numerous TiMER-less men and forcing them to get one installed. Oona is forced to change her dating habits when she meets Mikey, a young and impulsive grocery clerk and drummer with a functioning TiMER. He invites Oona to live in the present instead of stressing about the future.

This film provides examples of:

  • Aerith and Bob: Lampshaded when Mikey admits that he found Oona's practice because "there aren't many orthodontists with your first name."
  • Broken Aesop: Steph and Oona both begin to believe that they don't need the TiMERs to find true love and go to get them removed but then Oona's TiMER finally goes off and she finds her soulmate, Dan. Instead of deciding to go with Mikey, who she is in love with, Oona breaks up with him and she and Dan are implied to get together in the end.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Mikey, in spades.
    Oona: When do you get off?
    Mikey: What?
    Oona: Do you want me to repeat myself?
    Mikey: Yeah, into the loudspeaker if you don't mind.
  • Dreaming of Things to Come: Oona dreams about boiling eggs with her one, who is wearing a mask. Later, when she breaks up with Mikey, he's boiling eggs. Then when she sees Dan, he has the same mask.
  • Dumb and Drummer: Mikey. Among other foibles, he interrupts a brief conversation twice because he doesn't know the words being used. His idiocy helps make the outcome less of a foregone conclusion based on the TiMER alone.
  • Easily Forgiven: Steph to Oona after Oona decides to keep her TiMER.
  • Handwave: It's never explained how the TiMER really works; it's simply accepted fact that it does. Even by Mikey.
  • Happily Married: Oona’s mother and stepfather
  • The Lad-ette: Oona’s stepsister Steph is the crudest person in the entire film
  • Likes Older Women: There is a good eight-year age difference between Mikey and Oona by the end of the movie
  • Love at First Sight: TiMER employees are quick to note that most romances develop over time, some of them are outright belligerent in the beginning.
  • Maligned Mixed Marriage: Luz and Marion agree that they would have preferred that Jesse and Soledad’s relationship play out with them marrying in secret to force their families to accept them
  • Meaningful Name: Oona sounds like "one" in Latin, Spanish, and several other Romance languages.
  • Most Writers Are Male: Averted; the film was written and directed by the entirely female Jac Schaeffer
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Dan’s last name is never revealed; he is simply known as “Dan the Man” (even in the credits).
  • Only the Leads Get a Happy Ending: Oona finds her soulmate in Dan but in doing so she breaks the heart of Mikey and damages Steph's friendship with Dan.

Think Like A ManRomantic ComedyTonari no Kashiwagi-san
ThirstFilms of 2005 - 2009 Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

alternative title(s): Ti MER
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