A 2002 comedy film starring Creator/DanaCarvey[[note]]And is [[StarDerailingRole the reason you don't see him in movies anymore]].[[/note]] as Pistachio Disguisey, a bumbling Italian American waiter working at his father's restaurant. He has a bad habit of mimicking people unintentionally. His mother and father are kidnapped one night, by mysterious bad guys. So along comes his grandfather, who reveals that the whole paternal family line are natural [[TitleDrop masters of disguise]] who utilise a mysterious transformative magic called 'Energico.' His father never told him, because he didn't want his son to live a life full of dangerous enemies. But to get his father back, he must train in the art of subterfuge, learn the Disguisey martial art (consisting of slaps and blocks to humiliate your opponent), and learn to use the tools of the trade, found in his father's secret lair (behind an incredibly elaborate bookshelf in the attic).

Oh, and he needs to hire a sidekick, who must be an attractive woman, [[FetishFuel preferably one with a nice, big bottom]]. So Pistachio's young friend Barney sends his unemployed mother, Jennifer Baker (played by Creator/JenniferEsposito), for an interview and she gets the job (despite her [[SarcasmMode obvious handicap]] of a bottom measurement of only 34 inches). So Pistachio and Jennifer hunt down his father's old nemesis, Devlin Bowman (played by Creator/BrentSpiner), and his new collection of priceless artifacts. Along the way, Pistachio learns to see past Jennifer's tragic lack of bottom-fat and love her, and she learns to love [[ObfuscatingInsanity him and his family's complete and total insanity]].

There are three basic plot threads:
# Pistachio, who should have been trained from pretty much birth, needs to become the MasterOfDisguise [[TitleDrop of the title]].
# Pistachio's father has been kidnapped by a rich crimelord and only Pistachio can save him.
# Pistachio is falling in love with his sidekick and she is falling in love with him.
!!Tropes used include:
* ActionPrologue: The movie begins with a backstory being narrated by Grandpa Disguisey, showing members of the Disguisey family in action throughout history.
* AerithAndBob: Pistachio is named after a nut, his sidekick's name is Jennifer. This is lampshaded by Jennifer, who thought that her son was joking about his name.
* AppliedPhlebotinum: Energico is the magical Disguisey heritage that lets Pistachio apparently just ''grow'' studio-grade costumes, prosthetics, and disguises.
* ArmorPiercingSlap: The Disguisey Family style of Martial Arts.
* AwesomeMcCoolname: Devlin Bowman ''is'' an awesome villain name.
* BulletSeed: As "Cherry Pie Man", Pistachio shot cherries at guys chasing him while infiltrating Bowman's [[SuperVillainLair secret underground lair]]. He even manages to do a headshot on one of them as he falls into the water.
* BadassGrandpa: Grandpa Disguisey.
* TheBait: Jennifer is kidnapped by Devlin Bowman so that Pistachio will mount a rescue operation and walk right into a trap.
* BigDamnHeroes: Jennifer is captured after spying on Devlin Bowman, so Pistachio swoops in at the nick of time, pretending to be a British Secret Agent who needs Jennifer's help. He talks Devlin into letting her go rather than draw the attention of the British Secret Service to his lair. Later, Jennifer is kidnapped, but this time she was ''intended'' to serve as bait for Pistachio.
* ChubbyChaser: The Disguisey family has a thing for very big women, but more specifically women with huge bottoms. Father Disguisey is happily married to a rather large woman, and when Grandfather Disguisey points out what he considers a good-looking woman for Pistachio, an assessment that Pistachio clearly agrees with, it's someone even larger. There is also an implication that although Jennifer is still slim and small of bottom when she marries Pistachio, that she'll willingly gain weight for the man she loves after spending some quality time with Mama's deliciously fattening Italian food.
%%* {{Cloudcuckoolander}}: Pistachio.
* ConservationOfNinjitsu: Devlin Bowman usually has his two henchmen chase off Pistachio quite successfully, but when Jennifer is in danger, Pistachio fights off a large gang of ninja henchmen to save her.
* CrazyEnoughToWork: Pistachio tends to believe that many of the plans suggested to him fall into this category. They usually don't.
* CreativeClosingCredits: Well, [[EndingFatigue in theory]], they are.
* CrushingHandshake: Pistachio receives one when Jennifer first introduces him to her boyfriend, Trent (who already suspects and accusers Pistachio of trying to put the moves on her).
* TheDarkSide: Energico has a Dark Side, which Pistachio lampshades is just like ''Franchise/StarWars''. It involves using your powers for self-gain or BecomingTheMask when imitating bad guys.
* GainaxEnding: [[spoiler:The Cuteness was Grandpa Disguisey all along?!? What?!? How?!?]]
* {{Gasshole}}: Devlin has a weird habit of interrupting his own {{Evil Laugh}}s by farting.
* GiveHimANormalLife: Why Pistachio's father quits fighting crime and opens a restaurant.
* GrumpyOldMan: Grandfather Disguisey
* {{Housewife}}: Completely averted by Jennifer (a working single mother) and Momma (the head chef of an extremely successful, and extremely busy Italian American restaurant).
* [[IHaveBoobsYouMustObey I Have a Big Butt, You Must Obey!]]: Set during a climactic scene after the credits, Devlin Bowman summons a quartet of women with large posteriors to try seducing Pistachio over to the Darkside of Energico, to make him use his talents for booty (wealth) and booty (women).
* IntergenerationalFriendship: Pistachio is implied to be in his 20s while Barney is 7. It's even more this case when you consider that, in real life, Dana Carvey was in his late 40s when he made this movie.
* LatexPerfection: Skilled disguisers are able to pull this off.
* MasterOfDisguise: The movie hints that the Disguisey family were behind pretty much every myth and legend of this sort of thing, forever. And of course, one of the three main plots revolves around Pistachio learning to become the MasterOfDisguise [[TitleDrop that the title mentions]].
** Ironically, Pistachio's disguises usually draw far more attention to him than if he'd just gone without a disguise (i.e. gathering information while disguised as a bizarre turtle man).
* MeaningfulName: Pistachio ''Disguisey''.
%%* MindScrew: The GainaxEnding mentioned above.
* NeverASelfMadeWoman:
** Brought up and averted. Jennifer is informed about the job opportunity by her son, but she still has to go through an interview that has apparently sent many very qualified, jaded applicants running from them in tears. She also has to overcome the 'handicap' of her small size and miniscule bottom.
** Furthermore, when Jennifer asks if the Job pays (anything), grandfather exclaims "this cat has claws." And when she later asks about the dental policy, grandfather/dog describes the question as "sickening"
* NewspaperThinDisguise: Pistachio (as a "cow pie" man) somehow hides from Bowman's henchmen in this manner.
* PlayingGertrude: Edie [=McClurg=] and James Brolin are 10 and 15 years older than Dana Carvey yet play his parents, while Harold Gould is 32 years older than Dana and plays his grandfather.
* PostCreditsScene: The credits are filled with outtakes and deleted scenes in order to pad out the running time. As the Nostalgia Critic noted, it's like the film is effectively forcing you to watch the DVD special features, knowing you will never buy it. Roger Ebert even stated in his review how aggravated he was when the projectionist at his screening actually ''closed the curtain'', and the film ''just kept going!''
* RunningGag: There are two main ones -- Pistachio's obsession with big-bottomed women, and Devlin farting after every time he laughs.
* ScrewPolitenessImASenior: Grandfather Disguisey no other, He does this to his grandson Pistachio, In most of the movie.
* ShoutOut: Several; one to ''Film/ChariotsOfFire'' with the elder Disguisey stealing the Constitution, then to ''Film/TheCourtJester'' with the Secret Service agent's "Get it? Got it? Doubt it." And, of course, [[Franchise/StarWars "Energico" which has a Light Side and a Dark Side and gives the main character's family their superhuman powers]].
* SlapStick: A.K.A. "Old Fashioned Humor", there's plenty of it.
* SupervillainLair: Devlin's "Secret Underground Lair! Full of Rare Artifacts!" is one of these. It is actually underground, being a sub-basement of his manor-house. However, it is not elaborate enough to count as an ElaborateUndergroundBase, being only a single, museum-style, trophy room with a stage and a camera set-up to sell the rare artifacts on a secret black-market auction online. Oh, and some [[GratuitousNinja ninjas]] in the ceiling.
* TheTapeKnewYouWouldSayThat: Somehow the prerecorded hologram of Grandfather Disguisey knew some kid would run into the room to plan with them, among other things.
* TerribleIntervieweesMontage: Averted. Instead of actually seeing the interviewees, we just see the grandfather yelling "Out!" at poor applicant after poor applicant. Why he fires each is never really explained, though the subsequent scene with Jennifer sort of implies that it's because the applicants aren't beautiful women with huge bottoms.
* TropesForDummies: The Master of Disguise for Dummies.
* WholeCostumeReference: The little man Pistachio finds inside the Slapping Dummy Man would look ''exactly'' like Mario if he also wore a red cap.
* YoureInsane: Fabrizio (Still disguised as Music/JessicaSimpson) says this to Devlin.
-->'''Fabbrizio Disguisey:''' [''removes disguise''] ''Truly'' insane.
-->'''Devlin Bowman:''' Am I? [''EvilLaugh''] [''{{Beat}}''] Huh. [''turns to speak,'' then ''farts'']