An erotic film parody of The Lord of the Rings released in 2003 (the year The Return of the King hit theaters).Long ago, in the land of Diddle Earth, the wicked sorceress Whorespank forged a magical G-String of untold powers (and 100% cotton!). Centuries later, a mischievous Throbbit named Dildo Saggins is entrusted with the G-String, by the wise, permanently drunk wizard Smirnoff. Accompanied by her Black Best Friend Spam, and a not-too-bright friend named Horny, Dildo sets off on a quest to take the string to Party Pooper Vulcano, the only place it can be destroyed. Along the way, they are helped by the dethroned Queen Araporn, two voluptuous elf maidens, and occasionally Smirnoff (when he’s not distracted by hot women and booze). But time runs short, as Smirnoff’s former teacher, the evil wizard Sourass, hunts after the G-String with a Dorc army, and a very stinky secret weapon. Also lurking about is Ballem, a nerdy little creature who went insane after holding onto the G-String too long.The film loosely follows the plot of “Lord of the Rings,” while also parodying other films like Deliverance and Wizard of Oz.Directed by Terry M. West, and staring Misty Mundae, Darian Caine, A.J. Kahn, John Paul Felde, Barbara Joyce, and the late Michael R. Thomas.
Amazon Brigade: Pretty much the only explanation for how most of the female characters dress. That is, aside from the obvious reasons…
Actually Pretty Funny: Instead of relying on gross-out humor or cheap sexual gags, “Lord of the G-Strings” has a lot of slapstick humor and cartoonish sound-effects. The potty humor is often quite innocent, with more fart jokes than, say, X-rated ones.
Most memorable though is the dialogue. With lines like, “He’s the only one ever to escape the full wrath of my ass!”
Black Best Friend: Actually, A.J. Kahn is half white and half Indian. But she fits the trope down to a T, in that she’s the dark-skinned secondary protagonist, with an infinitely more practical, mature, and careful personality than the hero. (For a Throbbit, anyway.)
Hey, It's That Guy!!: Anyone who watches a lot of these films will probably recognize many, if not most, of the actors. Fans of underground horror might also recognize Misty Mundae.
John Paul Felde played another whinny villain with a secret weapon, in “Gladiator Eroticus”…
Impossibly Kinky Clothes: Apparently in Diddle Earth, it’s perfectly normal to see women walking around the forest in black leather bikinis and chains. The only time this is ever commented on is when the two Gay Knights ask the Throbbits where they got their outfits.
That being said, the costumes are the one visual that’s well done. They’re obviously cheap, bought from Halloween stores or porn stores. But, they’re very fun to look at. The cast sports everything from medieval gowns, to Scottish kilts, to elegantly adorned wizard’s hats.
Also, a lot of the props are pretty cool. Smirnoff’s skull staff, and the Throbbits’ dragon-handle swords, especially.
Loads and Loads of Characters: Not surprising, given what it’s spoofing. What is surprising is that most of the characters do not spoof anyone from Lord of the Rings. Most are either spoofs of other films, or generic fantasy tropes.
Our Hobbits Are Different: Throbbits are short, peaceful and sheltered, like Hobbits…but unlike Hobbits, Throbbits are also depraved sex addicts, as well as conniving little bullies, can’t resist an opportunity to mess with an innocent by passer.