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Film: The Lord Of The G Strings
An erotic film parody of The Lord of the Rings released in 2003 (the year The Return of the King hit theaters).

Long ago, in the land of Diddle Earth, the wicked sorceress Whorespank forged a magical G-String of untold powers (and 100% cotton!). Centuries later, a mischievous Throbbit named Dildo Saggins is entrusted with the G-String, by the wise, permanently drunk wizard Smirnoff. Accompanied by her Black Best Friend Spam, and a not-too-bright friend named Horny, Dildo sets off on a quest to take the string to Party Pooper Vulcano, the only place it can be destroyed. Along the way, they are helped by the dethroned Queen Araporn, two voluptuous elf maidens, and occasionally Smirnoff (when he’s not distracted by hot women and booze). But time runs short, as Smirnoff’s former teacher, the evil wizard Sourass, hunts after the G-String with a Dorc army, and a very stinky secret weapon. Also lurking about is Ballem, a nerdy little creature who went insane after holding onto the G-String too long.The film loosely follows the plot of “Lord of the Rings,” while also parodying other films like Deliverance and Wizard of Oz.

Directed by Terry M. West, and staring Misty Mundae, Darian Caine, A.J. Kahn, John Paul Felde, Barbara Joyce, and the late Michael R. Thomas.

This film provides examples of:

  • Action Girl: One of the main things parodied in this film. All three throbbits get a chance to wield swords, and Queen Araporn lives to kick Dorc ass. Also Drusilla, the blonde warrior woman. Whorespank on the other hand presents herself as this, but turns out to be little more than talk.
  • Amazon Brigade: Pretty much the only explanation for how most of the female characters dress. That is, aside from the obvious reasons…
  • Actually Pretty Funny: Instead of relying on gross-out humor or cheap sexual gags, “Lord of the G-Strings” has a lot of slapstick humor and cartoonish sound-effects. The potty humor is often quite innocent, with more fart jokes than, say, X-rated ones.
    • Most memorable though is the dialogue. With lines like, “He’s the only one ever to escape the full wrath of my ass!”
  • B-Movie: Never even pretends to be anything else.
  • Black Best Friend: Actually, A.J. Kahn is half white and half Indian. But she fits the trope down to a T, in that she’s the dark-skinned secondary protagonist, with an infinitely more practical, mature, and careful personality than the hero. (For a Throbbit, anyway.)
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: Sourass’s “Dutch Oven of Death!”
  • Downer Ending: Well, a downer for anyone who was hoping that Dildo would actually destroy the G-String.
    Dildo: …Nah, I gave an exact replica to that guy at the Vulcano.
    Smirnoff: But why would ya tempt the Dark Forces…to say nothing of a horny old wizard?
    Dildo: Hey, if the G-String fits, wear it baby!
    Smirnoff: [Winks with approval]
  • Fanservice: Obviously. Though most of it comes in the form of beautiful women.
    • Straight girls and gay men in the audience get one bit of fan service, from Lloyd Krackens, the attractive male Throbbit.
  • Fantastic Racism: The bar, where Throbbits are not served and just ignored, even when they’re being attacked by a drunken Scottsman.
  • Faux Action Girl: Parodied with Whorespank.
  • Hey, It's That Guy!!: Anyone who watches a lot of these films will probably recognize many, if not most, of the actors. Fans of underground horror might also recognize Misty Mundae.
    • John Paul Felde played another whinny villain with a secret weapon, in “Gladiator Eroticus”…
  • Impossibly Kinky Clothes: Apparently in Diddle Earth, it’s perfectly normal to see women walking around the forest in black leather bikinis and chains. The only time this is ever commented on is when the two Gay Knights ask the Throbbits where they got their outfits.
    • That being said, the costumes are the one visual that’s well done. They’re obviously cheap, bought from Halloween stores or porn stores. But, they’re very fun to look at. The cast sports everything from medieval gowns, to Scottish kilts, to elegantly adorned wizard’s hats.
    • Also, a lot of the props are pretty cool. Smirnoff’s skull staff, and the Throbbits’ dragon-handle swords, especially.
  • Loads and Loads of Characters: Not surprising, given what it’s spoofing. What is surprising is that most of the characters do not spoof anyone from Lord of the Rings. Most are either spoofs of other films, or generic fantasy tropes.
  • Our Hobbits Are Different: Throbbits are short, peaceful and sheltered, like Hobbits…but unlike Hobbits, Throbbits are also depraved sex addicts, as well as conniving little bullies, can’t resist an opportunity to mess with an innocent by passer.
  • Precision F-Strike: One of Smirnoff’s specialties.
    Smirnoff: Ya pin-pricked butt-fucka!
  • Shout-Out: To Lord of the Rings, obviously.
    • Also The Wizard of Oz in several places. Most notably the cameo from the Cowardly Lion, in which he repeats his lines from the real movie almost word-for-word.
  • Sword Fight: Parodied with plastic swords and cheesy, bloodless duels.

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