Some Legends Echo Through Time, So it was With Awesomest Maximus Even if He was One Stupid M@TH%^F^#*%R
The Legend of Awesomest Maximus is what happens when you take a classic tale such as The Trojan War and fill it with swear words, idiots, and more sex jokes than you can shake a stick at. It tells the tale of complete idiot Awesomest Maximus (Will Sasso), general of the Trojan army and his bumbling antics as he tries to save Troy from getting enslaved or destroyed by the Greek god-king Erotic (Khary Payton), while proving himself to his wife Princess Hotessa (Kristanna Loken) and to his father in-law King Looney (Rip Torn) so he can get named heir to the throne. Historical accuracy is pretty much non-existent in this movie and it is not so much the Trojan War than a ton of myths shoved into one.
Tropes:
- Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: When god-king Erotic taunts the Thessaly...ians they comment on saying that he's accenting the wrong syllable.
- Aerith and Bob: Many great names such as Erotic, Awesomest, Looney, Hotessa, and... Ellen.
- Affably Evil: Maybe not entirely accurate, but watching the big bad King Erotic stab one of his men for asking a perfectly reasonable question then repeating "I'll tell you later" in a high voice.
- Achilles in His Tent: Considering Testiclees is basically a combination of all Greek heroes, it's not surprising he quit fighting in the middle of a war with Sparta because King Erotic gave him a small tent — Greek heroes aren't known for humility. He only comes out of his tent because Awesomest has mistaken his cousin for him when he killed him.
- Chosen One: Subverted when you find out that Awesomest is not really the Chosen One. The real Chosen One was dropped off a cliff by a priest, and he grabbed the closest child to replace him.
- Cloudcuckoolander: King Looney, with the most subtle name possible.
- Comically Missing the Point: When Testiclees finds out that his cousin was killed by Awesomest, he is more pissed that his cousin has been mistaken for him.
- Double Entendre: Kind of in every scene, except it's always very obvious.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Testiclee's cousin is known only by the name "Tesiclee's Cousin". Made even funnier by the fact that Testiclees himself calls him that.
- Gag Penis: Subverted in the fact that they actually built a giant wooden penis.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: Everyone bashes male homosexuality, yet when Hotessa and Ellen confess their love for each other and start making out, everyone cheers them on instead of Awesomest.
- Groin Attack: Hilarious in the fact that it is really the only way to defeat Greece's greatest warrior. Awesomest kicks Testiclees so hard, that his namesake testicles come out of his mouth.
- Number Two: Quintas. He pretty much runs things on account of Awesomest being a idiot. He usually has to cover for him and generally insults Awesomest.
- Plot-Powered Stamina: They slip it in rather masterfully in that Awesomest is not a very fit person, yet they never show him winded or sleepy at all. Except for that one time he passed out after swimming miles after being pushed off a cliff so a slaver could capture him. This includes the time where he went to gladiator camp to train to be awesome.
- Shout-Out: Many things, most notably The Trojan horse appearing as a giant wooden penis, having to use 300 men to fight the million Greeks, and finally the disease-ridden guys that interpret gods will by the use of hot women. The writer really liked 300.
- Super Not-Drowning Skills: Despite being thrown off a cliff, Awesomest is able to swim miles away after suffering at the very least several broken bones, and he was pretty unfit at the time. He gets better. The narrator attempts to explain it by saying it has something to do with displacement.
- Transparent Closet: Subverted in that both Erotic and Orlando admit it by the end.
- Unfortunate Names: The black midget named Minorities. Lampshaded by the fact that the narrator immediately says, "Ya, his mother really calls him that."
