Film: Teeth

In this movie, vagina eats you!

Teeth is an independently produced black comedy/horror flick about a simple girl whose vagina likes to bite off penises. She discovers her incredible gift one day when her love interest date rapes her. Throughout the movie the audience is treated to very nearly every man in the movie attempting some kind of sexual assault on Dawn, and having his offending appendage(s) bitten off as a result. If that makes it sound like it's a Lifetime Movie of the Week with a carnivorous vagina thrown in, that's because that's what it is.

This film contains examples of:

  • All Abusers Are Male: Even a practicing gynecologist decides to molest Dawn during her check up.
  • All Men Are Perverts / All Men Are Rapists: Exaggerated; Everyone wants to rape Dawn, except (apparently) her stepfather. Every last other male is suddenly craving to molest her. Her stepbrother, her semi-boyfriend, another male friend, her gynecologist, random strangers...
  • Artistic License - Biology (Hollywood Evolution): In the film it is implied that the teeth are a genetic mutation to give women a defense mechanism against rape. Let's see how the science bears this one out.
    • Apparently a child will randomly experience a significant genetic mutation where she will grow giant shark-like teeth (they are explicitly compared to the teeth of some carnivorous fish in the film) in her vagina (which is a good 2 feet from where they should grow) AND the musculature that would be necessary for full control of the biting motion of these teeth AND this whole overly complex system developed wholesale, completely intact in one generation without any subsystems developing first and finally functioning together as a whole after generations of mutation. Behold a movie's application of Richard Goldschmidt's "Hopeful Monster" theory, which is a fancy scientific way to say "Yeah, we're totally BSing you here."
    • Having said that, the film does lampshade how unlikely it would be for this actually to happen. Dawn has a biology class early in the film, and the teacher gives a fairly accurate description of the evolutionary process, mentioning that it's extremely unlikely for a major new bodily function to develop spontaneously. A scene where Dawn looks at the mythology surrounding vagina dentata implies that there was once a time when many women did have teeth down there, but they largely died out after men learned to go after women who weren't likely to bite their penises off during sex, which would presumably make Dawn some sort of evolutionary throwback.
  • Asshole Victim: All of Dawn's victims, though reversing the usual pattern in that her first victim initially seems a lot more charming and likable before his rapacious lust gets the better of him and her counter-attack is an instinctive reflex, whereas her later victims are progressively more obnoxious and despicable from the start and her revenge on them is correspondingly much more deliberate each time.
  • Bathos: Most likely intentional.
  • Black Comedy
  • Black Sheep: Dawn's brother is very much this.
  • Bloody Hilarious
  • Brother-Sister Incest: Brad has some very unsettling feelings about his stepsister.
  • Credits Gag: Towards the end of the credits before the special thanks is the disclaimer "No man was harmed during the making of this film." (Why are we not entirely convinced?)
  • Cursed with Awesome: When Dawn gains control over her teeth.
  • Death by Sex: And how!
  • Dirty Old Man: The guy with whom Dawn hitches a ride in his car at the end of the film.
  • Double Standard: Pointed out by Dawn's classmates on why their anatomy textbook shows the male reproductive organ in all its glorious detail while censoring the picture of the female one. Dawn answers that it's because "Women have decorum and modesty."
  • Fingore: The gynecologist learns the hard way that trying to "test" Dawn's "flexibility" with his hand is a bad idea.
  • Flirty Stepsiblings: Brad's crush on Dawn. Stuffed with plenty of abusive creepiness.
  • Genre Savvy: For a sick bastard, Brad is clever enough to realize that there's no way Dawn would actually want to have sex with him, and she really has to turn on the charm before he finally agrees to go through with it.
  • Gory Discretion Shot: Averted; we get to see Dawn's victims' mutilations in their full glory.
  • Groin Attack: As if to rub it in, two of the discarded penises get eaten by a crab and a dog.
  • I Love Nuclear Power: It's subtly implied her "power" is a side-effect of living next door to a nuclear power plant.
    • Dawn's mother's illness is implied to be a result of this too.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: At the film's end, Dawn realizes she can deliver this to all of her would-be rapists and molesters.
  • Lifetime Movie of the Week: Every main male character in the movie (excepting her apparently genuinely caring step-father) wants to assault Dawn sexually. In just 85 minutes of screen time, she gets assaulted 8 separate times by 7 different men.
    • Alternatively, you could look at it as an inversion of Silent Hill, in that its protagonist is a disturbing, psycho-sexual mutant who has to run a gauntlet of ordinary humans who want to molest her.
  • Major Injury Underreaction: Contrast Brad's reaction with all the other victims. This may be due to him being stoned at the time.
  • Oh, Crap: Brad has an almighty instance of this, as he finally realizes just how Dawn severely lacerated one of his fingers when he was a youngster. Said realization comes while he's in the middle of having sex with her.
  • Punny Name: The heroine's name is a pun on a vaginal fart.
  • Rape and Revenge: The expedited version.
  • Scare Chord: Used on a folk art picture of Vagina Dentata.
  • Space Whale Aesop: Don't rape Dawn, or her Vagina Dentata will bite off your dick! (Also, don't rape anyone else either. People who aren't Dawn could just use a knife.)
  • Shower of Angst: Well, bathtub of angst. See the poster up there?
  • Sibling Yin-Yang: Dawn is sweet, naive, pure, religious and has a close relationship with her parents. Brad is a moody, rebellious, loud Jerkass who hates and resents his parents. Of course, Not Blood Siblings, but still.
  • Sliding Scale of Comedy and Horror: Generally lies on the latter part, with the humor coming from the outlandish premise and Bloody Hilarious.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Dawn runs to her friend Ryan for help and claims that she has murdered people. They have sex. The next day Ryan decides to tell her that she is meaningless to him and he just had a bet to see if he could get her in the sack. He tells her this while having sex with her. She then bites off his penis. He might not have believed she had Vagina Dentata, but when a girl claims to be a murderer it's clearly not a good idea to make her angry.
  • The Unfair Sex: In case it needs to be said again: EVERYONE WANTS TO RAPE DAWN!
  • Vagina Dentata: The Movie.
  • Viewers Are Goldfish: There are many, Many, MANY shots of the power plant Dawn lives near, oh so subtly implying that's how she got her mutation.